Tag Archives: Godzilla Junior

Godzilla vs. Destoroyah (Review)

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Godzilla vs. Destoroyah

aka Gojira vs Desutoroia

1995
Directed by Takao Okawara
Written by Kazuki Omori

This is the final film in the Heisei series. It is also the final film in March of Godzilla 4. Funny how things work out, almost as if it was planned… So when Godzilla vs. Destoroyah was originally coming out, it hit the press because Godzilla dies. Thus, the entire ending is completely spoiled. Good job, publicists. This was the time when everyone was dying. Godzilla, Superman, Orville Redenbacher, Kurt Cobain, Jonas Salk, and Motoo Kimura. Everyone was dropping dead. It became passe, especially since everyone who died seemed to pop up good as new in a year or so. Originally, Godzilla was to stay dead for ten years so America could have their own Godzilla trilogy. But then Dean Devlin/Roland Emmerich managed to mess that up something awful, and Godzilla had to be rushed into making a reappearance to make up for how terrible the American film was. Even years later, Toho still hasn’t made up for how horrible Emmerich/Devlin’s Godzilla film was.

But enough of complaining, we’ll do plenty of that once we get around to that bastard of a film. For THIS film, Toho decides to connect it to the original film more than any previous Godzilla film. The oxygen destroyer is mentioned often, and is the source of the new villain who appears to fight Godzilla. It seems that no matter what mankind does, it creates giant monsters that destroy Tokyo. Maybe Tokyo should move five miles away from where it is located, that will probably solve all the problems.

Godzilla will be all red and smoking, as he inches closer and closer to nuclear meltdown. So now the poor actor in the suit has to sit around as dry ice is pack onto him before each shot, so the proper amount of steam sprays out. The fact they went and made a new Godzilla suit is probably a good idea, as the older suits were beginning to wear out and it helps emphasize the change in Godzilla is permanent and unavoidable.

Godzilla vs. Destoroyah didn’t hit the US for a few years thanks to the lack of US distribution, so for a while all you could see it on was bootlegs. Then the VHS tape with the dubbing came out in the late 90s, and eventually it got released on a double DVD with Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla, which is the only DVD release in region 1 so far. So the US has never been able to see this the way it was originally created, unless you get an import DVD.

Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – The psychic girl is back to read more minds, begin to lose her powers, and cry a lot. At least she murdered the person who came up with her wardrobe and hair from the last film and has gone back to looking normal. This is Megumi Odaka’s last appearance in a Godzilla film, and she has since gone on to disappear completely.
Professor Fukazawa (Saburo Shinoda) – Profesor Fukazawa returns from Godzilla vs. Mothra where instead of studying volcanoes and how that relates to Godzilla, he is studying Godzilla and how that relates to Godzilla. Recruits the Yamane spawn into G-Force, and plays a pretty respectable scientist character, so props to Saburo Shinoda.
Kenichi Yamane (Yasufumi Hayashi) – The son of the adopted son of Dr. Yamane, nephew to Emiko Yamane and self-learned Godzilla expert. Was not a success in school but manages to find fame on the internet and get hired by G-Force. Yes, crazy success fantasies from internet blogs were in movies all the way back in 1995. Perhaps someone will read TarsTarkas.NET and hire me to fight giant monsters.
Yukari Yamane (Yoko Ishino) – The daughter of the adopted son of Dr. Yamane, niece to Emiko Yamane and famous TV journalist. Yukari Yamane is pretty smart, yet somehow decides to hide in cars when big monsters are chasing her. Ends up the romantic love interest of Dr. Ijuin.
Dr. Kensaku Ijuin (Takuro Tatsumi) – Scientist who follows the work of Dr. Serizawa and develops microoxygen, which is related to the oxygen destroyer weapon that defeated the original Godzilla. Ends up becoming sort of an action hero when the smaller Destoroyah monsters appear.
Emiko Yamane (Momoko Kochi) – The daughter of Dr. Yamane from way back in the original Godzilla film returns to warn mankind of the dangers of oxygen weapons when technology catches up to the levels her former fiancée was operating at. It is not even revealed if she married Hideto Ogata. This was Momoko Kochi’s last film, she died of cancer in 1998.
Commander Takaki Aso (Akira Nakao) – The angry General in the past few films also is around for the last hurrah, so at least he gets to see his nemesis die even if it is outside of any action done by Commander Aso. Akira Nakao would fight Godzilla again in Godzilla: Final War.
Meru Ozawa (Sayaka Osawa) – US special agent for G-Force, also a paleontologist, wears a beret, and has ESP powers that are fading Sayaka Osawa was one of The Cosmos, and was a semi-constant presence throughout the Heisei series of films.
Major Sho Kuroki (Masahiro Takashima) – Pah, Major Sho Kuroki, whatever, we know that this is Masahiro Takashima, who played Kazuma Aoki in Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2, and now he is piloting SuperX3, not this “Major Sho Kuroki” guy.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla returns for the last time except not really the last time because there are plenty of movies made after this one, but he does die again. Godzilla loves to die because it makes him feel all tingly, but then he keeps coming back to life and gets angry and blows stuff up. Godzilla will be all red and smoking because he’s having digestive problems, and G-Force can’t figure out how to get him to drink his Pepto Max.
GodzillaJunior (‘Hurricane Ryu’ Hariken) – LittleGodzilla hit puberty and is now GodzillaJunior, a lamer version of his dad. He is so lame he even manages to die after a battle instead of by a superweapon. But he returns back to life when his dad explodes, so I guess he’d still be around if anyone cared to revisit the Heisei universe. I predict that GodzillaJunior was eventually killed when that giant rose floating in space crashed on his head. That seems like a way this lame-o would die.
Destoroyah Aliens form (Puppets) – Destoroyah decides it is a good idea to rip off Aliens and kill a bunch of Japanese policemen who are armed like Colonial Marines for some reason. The Aliens form of Destoroyah also hate cars and like to stalk women, so they have lots of problems psychiatrists will be analyzing for centuries.
Destoroyah Medium form (Ryo Hariya) – The Medium form of Destoroyah manages to get beaten up a lot, even by GodzillaJunior! Eventually blown to pieces, but then the pieces reform and become…
Destoroyah Final Form (Ryo Hariya) – The final form of Destoroyah is huge, so bg it can fly while carrying GodzillaJunior. After killing the spawnling, Destoroyah tries to pick a fight with daddy, which manages to get him killed twice! What a loser.


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Godzilland (Review)

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Godzilland

Say kids, what time is it? It’s Godzilland time! YAAAAYYY!!

Wait, what the frak is Godzilland? Godzilland was a morning show for the kiddies that aired in Japan around the time Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 came out. Besides that, I know nothing about the show except for this sample episode that will get documented here. There is little to no information about this show anywhere (at least in English) so join TarsTarkas.NET as we sail into uncharted territory! March of Godzilla 4 had to have some crazy surprise, now didn’t it?

The best part of Godzilland is the stylized cartoon kaiju

They are all over the opening sequence, we have larva Mothra, that human who we will see is the host, Mechagodzilla, Anguirus, Rodan, Baragon, Gigan, Godzilla, Moguera, Mechagodzilla, Mothra egg, and more Mechagodzilla

All of those Mechagodzillas probably mean that film either is about to or just came out. The inclusion of Moguera might indicate they already are working on SpaceGodzilla, but might not as SpaceGodzilla is MIA in the opening credits.

King Ghidorah, Mothra as a Moth, and Mecha-King Ghidorah show up in this frame

The top Kanji translate to “bouhan” which means “an exciting adventure” And Godzilland sure is!

Here is our host, I think his first name is supposed to be Russell but I might be wrong.

Russell hangs out with four Japanese chicks who are big Godzilla boosters

They are the Godzilla Chicks (a name I made up for them) and in the beginning Russell asks them questions from a pile of cards.

Interspacing animation time!

Holy Godzilla vs. Bambi, Batman!

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Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla (Review)

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Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

aka Gojira VS Supesugojira

1994

Directed by Kensho Yamashita
Written by Kanji Kashiwa and Hiroshi Kashiwabara


Nothing is ever spelled right in a Godzilla film.

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla was the twenty-first Godzilla film and the second to last Heisei picture. It received mixed to bad criticisms upon its release in Japan and later the US, and now is almost universally scorned. There are some good points, and some nice nods to continuity of the Heisei series. SpaceGodzilla is an old concept from the 1970s (along with Godzilla vs. the Devil, which could have only been born in the 1970s) that got yanked out for modern day after TriStar failed in their quest to make an American Godzilla film. Upon release of the actual American Godzilla film a few years later, one wishes they instead yanked Godzilla vs. the Devil out of the dustbin instead!

The design for SpaceGodzilla stems from an old Nintendo game Super Godzilla, during the game Godzilla could become Super Godzilla, and the sprite design was almost identical for SpaceGodzilla. They, in fact, took the sprites, slightly altered them, and then called is SpaceGodzilla. SpaceGodzilla has never returned to the silver screen, but he returned for several episodes of Godzilla Island, where it was revealed there is a second SpaceGodzilla who is killed in that series. SpaceGodzilla also shows up in video games (fitting due to his design origin): First he appeared in Godzilla: Giant Monster March. He also showed up in Godzilla: Save the Earth, replacing Orga as the final opponent in hard mode. In his biggest role, SpaceGodzilla is the final boss in Godzilla: Unleashed, the game where Godzilla battles against Animal Control for the right to have his pit bulls run free in the streets.

MOGUERA shows up instead of Mechagodzilla because Mechagodzilla was too powerful in the previous film, and having Godzilla and his robot brother fight the space spawn would be too one-sided, even though it could be advertised as Godzilla^3! So they drag out Toho’s other robot creation (no, not Mechakong) MOGUERA! Back when he was Moguera, he was in 1957’s The Mysterians and showed up as an alien agent on a carnage run smashing through cities until he was killed when a bridge fell out from under him (the same fate as James T. Kirk!) A second Moguera then appeared later in the film only to also die by being crushed. Now MOGUERA is built by the UN from the wreckage of Mechagodzilla to fight Godzilla, and is an acronym for Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-Type. MOGUERA can split into two vehicles, Land Moguera and Star Falcon, because every monster in the Heisei universe has multiple forms, even freaking robots!

Babygodzilla has grown up some and is now Littlegodzilla, who is now Minya-sized and more annoying. I still hate him, but even worse, there was a possibility that he would have gotten his own TV shows spun off of this film. Thankfully, that never came to pass. So instead I will complain about the US DVD release. I can ignore the dubbing, the lack of credits, who cares. The problem is they chop off a good portion of the film in multiple scenes! It is supposed to be anamorphic widescreen, but it is obvious that parts are sourced from a fullscreen print that is chopped off at the top and bottom for widescreen! This is most apparent in the title shot, where most of the word “Gojira” is chopped off. Multiple scenes in the film have characters missing the tops of their heads. I am not going to watch my VHS copy of the film to see if it is filled with chopped off foreheads, I am just going to assume it doesn’t. So “BOOO!” to whoever authored the DVD, you did a terrible job and I hope you die by being crushed by DVDs.


Xillian raiders forced us to wear these horrible clothes! Help us!

One thing the movie never harps on is that is SpaceGodzilla was created from Godzilla cells, then he is Godzilla’s offspring (in a round-about way!) We have a cool subplot about fatherly responsibilities, daddy issues, what if you have a son who is genetically defective, all sorts of things that are completely ignored! The human plot could have benefited greatly from a little less of the psychic crap and a little more family turmoil. Maybe Miki has a friend whose father hates her because she is psychic, and thus she begins to act out and be bad. Then dad learns he must love his daughter and take care of her even if she is different, because otherwise she could become a horrible space monster obsessed with crystals! And then…Dad is crushed by a crystal, but her psychic/telekinetic powers save him! Then the whole thing airs on ABC Family.

Speaking of crystals…crystals? Who thought crystals was a good idea? Every time I watch this I think of those New Age wackos who use crystals to get energy and all that other freaky stuff. That’s a little loopy even for a Godzilla film. What is next, WitchGodzilla (excuse me…WiccanGodzilla?) In conclusion, crystals are dumb.

Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – Psychic girl Miki Saegusa becomes Telekinetic girl Miki Saegusa due to her new telekinetic abilities. She’s still psychic, and also has magic earrings that keep her in contact with The Cosmos, who warn her of the danger of SpaceGodzilla (something Miki doesn’t bother to let anyone else know about, but they learn soon enough!)
Lt. Koji Shinjo (Jun Hashizume) – Member of G-Force who goes to track down Godzilla for the Project T, then ends up co-piloting MOGUERA. Has sort of a thing with Miki.
Lt. Kiyoshi Sato (Zenkichi Yoneyama) – Shinjo’s friend and care-free dancer, Sato is the yang to Shinjo’s yin and parties it up while the two search for Godzilla. Also becomes one of the MOGUERA operators after their Godzilla/Project T mission.
Major Akira Yuki (Akira Emoto) – Best friend of Goro Gondo from Godzilla vs. Biollante, ever since his friend’s death he has obsessed with hunting Godzilla down. Eventually learns to give up his quest after Godzilla saves the world by killing SpaceGodzilla. And he also finds love. Isn’t that sweet? It is, you chump!
Professor Chinatsu Gondo (Towako Yoshikawa) – The sister to Goro Gondo is a respected scientist and works for the G-Force Science council. She helps design Project T, helps determine the origin of SpaceGodzilla, and convinces Akira Yuki to give up his obsessed ways and learn to love.
Professor Susumu Okubo (Yosuke Saito) – This guy is all about controlling Godzilla and then secretly selling that technology to the Yakuza! Has crazy eyes, crazy chin, and crazy goggles. Yes, he is crazy. Like all mad scientists, he dies. To bad one of those lecturing scientists from Godzilla vs. Biollante weren’t around to bore this guy to death with their speeches.
Minister Takayuki Segawa (Kenji Sahara) – Even politicians get into the Godzilla-fighting fun! Recurring from the past two films, Minister Takayuki Segawa makes his final appearance in the Heisei series. Kenji Sahara has been in scores of kaiju movies and tv shows, including such fare as Ultra Q, Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla’s Revenge, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II.
Commander Takaki Aso (Akira Nakao) – This gruff commander of military forces will head all action against Godzilla for the last three Heisei films. He looks the part perfectly. Akira Nakao returns as Prime Minister Hayato Igarashi in Godzilla X Mechagodzilla and Tokyo SOS.
The Cosmos (Keiko Imamura and Sayaka Osawa) – Those tiny Japanese girls are back, as tiny as ever! Now they are in red Kool-aid-tinted Astral Projection form! They warn Miki of the danger of SpaceGodzilla. They thank Miki when it is all over. That’s about all they do, but at least it is the same girls playing the part.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla was just minding his business one day when this space freak comes to Earth, throws his kid in a crystal cage, blasts Godzilla up, and then goes all “I’m conquering the Earth!” We know Godzilla ain’t gonna stand for that crap, so soon he is kicking butt and blasting names and chewing bubblegum. I messed up the quote but you get the idea.
SpaceGodzilla (Ryo Hariya) – SpaceGodzilla comes from space, hence the name. He is also totally into crystals. He believes in Crystal Lite because they believe in him! SpaceGodzilla can’t go ten minutes without explaining all sorts of crystal nonsense to you, and also mentioning how he wants to conquer the galaxy. I guess the crystals told him to do it.
MOGUERA (Wataru Fukuda) – Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-Type is now MOGUERA and was built by G-Force from the ruins of Mechagodzilla. The original Mogueras were tools of alien invaders in The Mysterians. Can split into Land Moguera and Star Falcon.
Littlegodzilla (???) – Jerk. Gets stuffed in a crystal cage for being a jerk.
Fairy Mothra (Puppet) – Miki is off tripping balls so she sees tiny Mothras flying around. Miki is insane.

M&M escalates the War on Skittles. Taste this rainbow, bitch!

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Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 (Review)

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Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2

aka Gojira VS Mekagojira

1993

Directed by Takao Okawara

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 is not one of my favorite movies in the Heisei series. This is due to several factors, but largely because I hate Babygodzilla. I am a big fan of Minya, but Babygodzilla is just annoying. He fills me with disgust. Parts of this film are pretty great, but besides annoyance at the offspring, other problems creep up. Rodan is pretty much wasted in his only Heisei appearance. He does little more than show up, get beat up, and then die. Twice. The music is also odd, partially because it is inspired by King Kong Escapes and not a Godzilla film. And let’s just not go into how annoying it is to have multiple films with the same title!

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 was released dubbed on VHS years after its release in Japan, it was so delayed that they changed the sprites in a Godzilla video game from the new Mechagodzilla to the older 1974 one because America didn’t even know about this new one. I guess the USA just can’t handle updated robots.

Kazuma Aoki (Masahiro Takashima) – This man is obsessed with pterodactyls! Obsessed! It is pretty scary. Masahiro Takashima fought more giant monsters in Orochi the Eight-Headed Dragon and returned to the Heisei series in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah.
Azusa Gojo (Ryoko Sano) – A female scientist with who was with Professor Omae on his egg quest, ends up bonding with Babygodzilla.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – That psychic girl is back being psychic again, because her job is to be psychic. Just imagine that listing popping up on Craigslist: Help Wanted: Must be Japanese, female, under 25, a psychic, and not afraid of giant lizards. Experience preferred. Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
Professor Omae (Yusuke Kawazu) – Scientist who leads expedition to the island and finds the Babygodzilla egg and Rodan. Yusuke Kawazu was in the second and third films in the 1990s Gamera trilogy.
Minister Takayuki Segawa (Kenji Sahara) – Kenji Sahara has been in Godzilla films since the beginning, this is the third and final turn as Minister Takayuki Segawa in the Heisei series, he showed up again in Godzilla: Final Wars. Don’t miss him in these Ultra Q episodes.
Dr. Asimov (Leo Meneghetti) – In this alternate reality, Dr. Isaac Asimov not only is a great author on books of robotics, but he didn’t die, de-aged, and became one of the lead designers of Mechagodzilla. Or this guy is just named after Isaac Asimov.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Yeah, yeah, King of the Monsters, and now a single parent. That’s what you get for not wearing protection, Godzilla!
Mechagodzilla (Wataru Fukuda) – Build from the wreckage of Mecha-King Ghidorah, Mechagodzilla is here to fight Godzilla! The NT-1 alloy, helium-3, and diamond shield armor are no match for a pterodactyl turning into gold flakes.
Rodan (Puppet) – Hatching from an egg and just chillin’ on an island until Godzilla shows up to kill him, Rodan joins the Heisei universe. Rodan later becomes Fire Rodan, because every monster in the Heisei series has several life stages.
Super Mechagodzilla (Wataru Fukuda) – Even this robot can’t escape having several life stages, as Mechagodzilla combines with the Garuda to form Super Mechagodzilla, who gets Super Destroyed at the end of the film. Super.
Fire Rodan (Puppet) – Yeah, here is the Fire Rodan entry. Fire Rodan isn’t fiery enough! We demand more fire! I want him made out of lava! That’s my Fire Rodan.
Babygodzilla (???) – I hate you, Babygodzilla. Replacing Minya in the Heisei series is this reject from an episode of Disney’s Dinosaurs. Babygodzilla is somehow Rodan’s half-brother and is sung to by plants.


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Godzilla Island – Story Arc 22

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Godzilla Island – Story Arc 22


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

It’s the Final Countdown! Du-de-du du, Du-de-du-du-du! The last Story Arc of them all! The return of the whole cast, the Secret of Godzilla Island is out and the Xiliens will do anything to get their grubby paws on it! Giant Dark Emperor gets mad, Torema gets sad, and less than a few seconds transpires between this story and the previous one. We get a new monster, but not the giant monsterfest I was hoping for with the final story arc. Oh, well. Things are still good, so let’s get the good goings on going, shall we? New readers, Start here at the beginning of the series, and everyone else get ready for the final chapter. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow there is no tsuzuku!


G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Torema (Maimi Okuwa) – A mysterious young girl who shows up one day on Godzilla Island right when the dastardly Xiliens begin to attack. She repels the attack, joins the G-Guard, and begins her fight against Zaguresu the Xilien because Xiliens destroyed her home planet (I think that’s what happened – she may have been from future Earth.) Has psychic powers and her own spaceship called the Panatolute.
Zaguresu (Naoko Aizawa) – Evil Xilien woman who invades Earth using giant monsters and her giant Independence Day/V rip-off spaceship. Enjoys laughing evilly while contemplating the latest diabolical schemes. Follows the Xilien leader Giant Emperor’s orders, because that’s what they do on Planet X. Sheep! Or not, as she becomes defiant. Her spaceship is named the Vabaruda.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time. Now has her own spaceship, the Tart-coupe.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Mecha-King Ghidorah fighting Hyper Mecha-King Ghidorah or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!


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Godzilla Island – Story Arc 20

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Godzilla Island – Story Arc 20


1997

Directed by Shun Mizutani

Spies are not cool. Unless they are James Bond, Spy vs. Spy, dead Bothan spies, or Bart Fargo. Okay, maybe spies are cool. So of course spies will factor into the story of Godzilla Island, because when you think plastic monsters, you think spies. Camero goes undercover into G-Guard HQ, Lucas gets ignored, and we all learn a lesson to not accept random packages from the Earth’s Government. Earth’s Government is like Nigerian Bank Transfers – Stay away! But we got some monster fights, anyway. So let’s hop to it! Newbies hop to Godzilla Island Story Arc 1, the rest of us can laugh at the N3wbs and start reading away.

G-Guard Commander (Jiro Dan) – G-Guard Commander runs the Godzilla Guard unit on Godzilla Island. He’s all alone except for sassy robot Lucas, so of course he’s bored out of his skull normally. He seems to have been stationed there because it’s a low-priority assignment they could dump someone who can’t work under pressure, because that’s exactly what he is. Luckily Torema shows up to save his pants. I do not know if he has a name but it may be Oji.
Lucas (Kenichiro Shimamura) – Annoying robot, Godzilla Island-style! Makes sarcastic remarks, and seems to be even mean at times. An annoying Kenny kid in floating metal sphere form. He must be destroyed! Translates from monster language to Japanese.
Misato (Kaori Aso) – The new monster doctor who is dedicated to her craft. Works hard, argues with G-Guard Commander, and flies Medical Jet Jaguar around all the time.
Landes (Kaoru Ukawa) – The new Xilien assigned by Giant Dark Emperor to take over Godzilla Island. She has crazy eyes. Always using a pink fluffy fan. Her ship is another Vabaruda.
Nao (Sho Sawamura) – The latest cast addition to Godzilla Island, and the most mysterious because she came out of nowhere and seems obsessed with food. Who is she? Why does G-Guard Commander seem to know her and get annoyed at her constant talk of food? Will we ever get answers? I sure hope so, because otherwise you have to put up with this explanation for the remainder of the series. At this point I think she is G-Guard Commander’s daughter. I translated Sho Sawamura’s name myself so hopefully it is right.
Camero (???) – Landes’s floating robot, sounds bored when he talks. Just what we needed, another annoying Lucas. Hopefully he can be the entertaining Meowth to the lame Pikachu. Looks suspiciously like MST3K’s Cambot (Last design)!
Narrator – (Yutaka Aoyama) – He’s not a character but the guy who recaps the previous episode in the beginning of the episode. That means thirty seconds of each three minute episode is Narrator recounting events, padding running time beyond levels I want to think about. He’s a typical Japanese male announcer, amazingly excited and epic about even the most mundane things.
Giant Dark Emperor (???) – Giant flaming head who commands the Xiliens and Planet X. Do not look behind the curtain. The great and powerful Giant Emperor commands you, and can hear your sarcastic backtalk! Still, being a flaming head in space has got to be pretty boring.

Different monster feature in each episode, so we’ll keep track of them in each story arc. The complete Godzilla Island Daikaiju List is located here. We’ll also list any new monster match-ups that weren’t in any film but now exist thanks to this series, such as Megalon fighting Dororin or something. The R2 Japanese DVD release is unsubtitled, so most of what is going on will be educated guesses thanks to our limited Japanese speaking ability. But here at TarsTarkas.NET we don’t need no stinking subtitles!


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