Godzilla vs. Destoroyah (Review)


Godzilla vs. Destoroyah

aka Gojira vs Desutoroia

1995
Directed by Takao Okawara
Written by Kazuki Omori


This is the final film in the Heisei series. It is also the final film in March of Godzilla 4. Funny how things work out, almost as if it was planned… So when Godzilla vs. Destoroyah was originally coming out, it hit the press because Godzilla dies. Thus, the entire ending is completely spoiled. Good job, publicists. This was the time when everyone was dying. Godzilla, Superman, Orville Redenbacher, Kurt Cobain, Jonas Salk, and Motoo Kimura. Everyone was dropping dead. It became passe, especially since everyone who died seemed to pop up good as new in a year or so. Originally, Godzilla was to stay dead for ten years so America could have their own Godzilla trilogy. But then Dean Devlin/Roland Emmerich managed to mess that up something awful, and Godzilla had to be rushed into making a reappearance to make up for how terrible the American film was. Even years later, Toho still hasn’t made up for how horrible Emmerich/Devlin’s Godzilla film was.

But enough of complaining, we’ll do plenty of that once we get around to that bastard of a film. For THIS film, Toho decides to connect it to the original film more than any previous Godzilla film. The oxygen destroyer is mentioned often, and is the source of the new villain who appears to fight Godzilla. It seems that no matter what mankind does, it creates giant monsters that destroy Tokyo. Maybe Tokyo should move five miles away from where it is located, that will probably solve all the problems.

Godzilla will be all red and smoking, as he inches closer and closer to nuclear meltdown. So now the poor actor in the suit has to sit around as dry ice is pack onto him before each shot, so the proper amount of steam sprays out. The fact they went and made a new Godzilla suit is probably a good idea, as the older suits were beginning to wear out and it helps emphasize the change in Godzilla is permanent and unavoidable.

Godzilla vs. Destoroyah didn’t hit the US for a few years thanks to the lack of US distribution, so for a while all you could see it on was bootlegs. Then the VHS tape with the dubbing came out in the late 90s, and eventually it got released on a double DVD with Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla, which is the only DVD release in region 1 so far. So the US has never been able to see this the way it was originally created, unless you get an import DVD.

Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – The psychic girl is back to read more minds, begin to lose her powers, and cry a lot. At least she murdered the person who came up with her wardrobe and hair from the last film and has gone back to looking normal. This is Megumi Odaka’s last appearance in a Godzilla film, and she has since gone on to disappear completely.
Professor Fukazawa (Saburo Shinoda) – Profesor Fukazawa returns from Godzilla vs. Mothra where instead of studying volcanoes and how that relates to Godzilla, he is studying Godzilla and how that relates to Godzilla. Recruits the Yamane spawn into G-Force, and plays a pretty respectable scientist character, so props to Saburo Shinoda.
Kenichi Yamane (Yasufumi Hayashi) – The son of the adopted son of Dr. Yamane, nephew to Emiko Yamane and self-learned Godzilla expert. Was not a success in school but manages to find fame on the internet and get hired by G-Force. Yes, crazy success fantasies from internet blogs were in movies all the way back in 1995. Perhaps someone will read TarsTarkas.NET and hire me to fight giant monsters.
Yukari Yamane (Yoko Ishino) – The daughter of the adopted son of Dr. Yamane, niece to Emiko Yamane and famous TV journalist. Yukari Yamane is pretty smart, yet somehow decides to hide in cars when big monsters are chasing her. Ends up the romantic love interest of Dr. Ijuin.
Dr. Kensaku Ijuin (Takuro Tatsumi) – Scientist who follows the work of Dr. Serizawa and develops microoxygen, which is related to the oxygen destroyer weapon that defeated the original Godzilla. Ends up becoming sort of an action hero when the smaller Destoroyah monsters appear.
Emiko Yamane (Momoko Kochi) – The daughter of Dr. Yamane from way back in the original Godzilla film returns to warn mankind of the dangers of oxygen weapons when technology catches up to the levels her former fiancée was operating at. It is not even revealed if she married Hideto Ogata. This was Momoko Kochi’s last film, she died of cancer in 1998.
Commander Takaki Aso (Akira Nakao) – The angry General in the past few films also is around for the last hurrah, so at least he gets to see his nemesis die even if it is outside of any action done by Commander Aso. Akira Nakao would fight Godzilla again in Godzilla: Final War.
Meru Ozawa (Sayaka Osawa) – US special agent for G-Force, also a paleontologist, wears a beret, and has ESP powers that are fading Sayaka Osawa was one of The Cosmos, and was a semi-constant presence throughout the Heisei series of films.
Major Sho Kuroki (Masahiro Takashima) – Pah, Major Sho Kuroki, whatever, we know that this is Masahiro Takashima, who played Kazuma Aoki in Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2, and now he is piloting SuperX3, not this “Major Sho Kuroki” guy.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla returns for the last time except not really the last time because there are plenty of movies made after this one, but he does die again. Godzilla loves to die because it makes him feel all tingly, but then he keeps coming back to life and gets angry and blows stuff up. Godzilla will be all red and smoking because he’s having digestive problems, and G-Force can’t figure out how to get him to drink his Pepto Max.
GodzillaJunior (‘Hurricane Ryu’ Hariken) – LittleGodzilla hit puberty and is now GodzillaJunior, a lamer version of his dad. He is so lame he even manages to die after a battle instead of by a superweapon. But he returns back to life when his dad explodes, so I guess he’d still be around if anyone cared to revisit the Heisei universe. I predict that GodzillaJunior was eventually killed when that giant rose floating in space crashed on his head. That seems like a way this lame-o would die.
Destoroyah Aliens form (Puppets) – Destoroyah decides it is a good idea to rip off Aliens and kill a bunch of Japanese policemen who are armed like Colonial Marines for some reason. The Aliens form of Destoroyah also hate cars and like to stalk women, so they have lots of problems psychiatrists will be analyzing for centuries.
Destoroyah Medium form (Ryo Hariya) – The Medium form of Destoroyah manages to get beaten up a lot, even by GodzillaJunior! Eventually blown to pieces, but then the pieces reform and become…
Destoroyah Final Form (Ryo Hariya) – The final form of Destoroyah is huge, so bg it can fly while carrying GodzillaJunior. After killing the spawnling, Destoroyah tries to pick a fight with daddy, which manages to get him killed twice! What a loser.


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Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla (Review)

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla

aka Gojira VS Supesugojira

1994

Directed by Kensho Yamashita
Written by Kanji Kashiwa and Hiroshi Kashiwabara


Nothing is ever spelled right in a Godzilla film.

Godzilla vs. SpaceGodzilla was the twenty-first Godzilla film and the second to last Heisei picture. It received mixed to bad criticisms upon its release in Japan and later the US, and now is almost universally scorned. There are some good points, and some nice nods to continuity of the Heisei series. SpaceGodzilla is an old concept from the 1970s (along with Godzilla vs. the Devil, which could have only been born in the 1970s) that got yanked out for modern day after TriStar failed in their quest to make an American Godzilla film. Upon release of the actual American Godzilla film a few years later, one wishes they instead yanked Godzilla vs. the Devil out of the dustbin instead!

The design for SpaceGodzilla stems from an old Nintendo game Super Godzilla, during the game Godzilla could become Super Godzilla, and the sprite design was almost identical for SpaceGodzilla. They, in fact, took the sprites, slightly altered them, and then called is SpaceGodzilla. SpaceGodzilla has never returned to the silver screen, but he returned for several episodes of Godzilla Island, where it was revealed there is a second SpaceGodzilla who is killed in that series. SpaceGodzilla also shows up in video games (fitting due to his design origin): First he appeared in Godzilla: Giant Monster March. He also showed up in Godzilla: Save the Earth, replacing Orga as the final opponent in hard mode. In his biggest role, SpaceGodzilla is the final boss in Godzilla: Unleashed, the game where Godzilla battles against Animal Control for the right to have his pit bulls run free in the streets.

MOGUERA shows up instead of Mechagodzilla because Mechagodzilla was too powerful in the previous film, and having Godzilla and his robot brother fight the space spawn would be too one-sided, even though it could be advertised as Godzilla^3! So they drag out Toho’s other robot creation (no, not Mechakong) MOGUERA! Back when he was Moguera, he was in 1957’s The Mysterians and showed up as an alien agent on a carnage run smashing through cities until he was killed when a bridge fell out from under him (the same fate as James T. Kirk!) A second Moguera then appeared later in the film only to also die by being crushed. Now MOGUERA is built by the UN from the wreckage of Mechagodzilla to fight Godzilla, and is an acronym for Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-Type. MOGUERA can split into two vehicles, Land Moguera and Star Falcon, because every monster in the Heisei universe has multiple forms, even freaking robots!

Babygodzilla has grown up some and is now Littlegodzilla, who is now Minya-sized and more annoying. I still hate him, but even worse, there was a possibility that he would have gotten his own TV shows spun off of this film. Thankfully, that never came to pass. So instead I will complain about the US DVD release. I can ignore the dubbing, the lack of credits, who cares. The problem is they chop off a good portion of the film in multiple scenes! It is supposed to be anamorphic widescreen, but it is obvious that parts are sourced from a fullscreen print that is chopped off at the top and bottom for widescreen! This is most apparent in the title shot, where most of the word “Gojira” is chopped off. Multiple scenes in the film have characters missing the tops of their heads. I am not going to watch my VHS copy of the film to see if it is filled with chopped off foreheads, I am just going to assume it doesn’t. So “BOOO!” to whoever authored the DVD, you did a terrible job and I hope you die by being crushed by DVDs.


Xillian raiders forced us to wear these horrible clothes! Help us!

One thing the movie never harps on is that is SpaceGodzilla was created from Godzilla cells, then he is Godzilla’s offspring (in a round-about way!) We have a cool subplot about fatherly responsibilities, daddy issues, what if you have a son who is genetically defective, all sorts of things that are completely ignored! The human plot could have benefited greatly from a little less of the psychic crap and a little more family turmoil. Maybe Miki has a friend whose father hates her because she is psychic, and thus she begins to act out and be bad. Then dad learns he must love his daughter and take care of her even if she is different, because otherwise she could become a horrible space monster obsessed with crystals! And then…Dad is crushed by a crystal, but her psychic/telekinetic powers save him! Then the whole thing airs on ABC Family.

Speaking of crystals…crystals? Who thought crystals was a good idea? Every time I watch this I think of those New Age wackos who use crystals to get energy and all that other freaky stuff. That’s a little loopy even for a Godzilla film. What is next, WitchGodzilla (excuse me…WiccanGodzilla?) In conclusion, crystals are dumb.

Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – Psychic girl Miki Saegusa becomes Telekinetic girl Miki Saegusa due to her new telekinetic abilities. She’s still psychic, and also has magic earrings that keep her in contact with The Cosmos, who warn her of the danger of SpaceGodzilla (something Miki doesn’t bother to let anyone else know about, but they learn soon enough!)
Lt. Koji Shinjo (Jun Hashizume) – Member of G-Force who goes to track down Godzilla for the Project T, then ends up co-piloting MOGUERA. Has sort of a thing with Miki.
Lt. Kiyoshi Sato (Zenkichi Yoneyama) – Shinjo’s friend and care-free dancer, Sato is the yang to Shinjo’s yin and parties it up while the two search for Godzilla. Also becomes one of the MOGUERA operators after their Godzilla/Project T mission.
Major Akira Yuki (Akira Emoto) – Best friend of Goro Gondo from Godzilla vs. Biollante, ever since his friend’s death he has obsessed with hunting Godzilla down. Eventually learns to give up his quest after Godzilla saves the world by killing SpaceGodzilla. And he also finds love. Isn’t that sweet? It is, you chump!
Professor Chinatsu Gondo (Towako Yoshikawa) – The sister to Goro Gondo is a respected scientist and works for the G-Force Science council. She helps design Project T, helps determine the origin of SpaceGodzilla, and convinces Akira Yuki to give up his obsessed ways and learn to love.
Professor Susumu Okubo (Yosuke Saito) – This guy is all about controlling Godzilla and then secretly selling that technology to the Yakuza! Has crazy eyes, crazy chin, and crazy goggles. Yes, he is crazy. Like all mad scientists, he dies. To bad one of those lecturing scientists from Godzilla vs. Biollante weren’t around to bore this guy to death with their speeches.
Minister Takayuki Segawa (Kenji Sahara) – Even politicians get into the Godzilla-fighting fun! Recurring from the past two films, Minister Takayuki Segawa makes his final appearance in the Heisei series. Kenji Sahara has been in scores of kaiju movies and tv shows, including such fare as Ultra Q, Godzilla vs. Mothra, Godzilla’s Revenge, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II.
Commander Takaki Aso (Akira Nakao) – This gruff commander of military forces will head all action against Godzilla for the last three Heisei films. He looks the part perfectly. Akira Nakao returns as Prime Minister Hayato Igarashi in Godzilla X Mechagodzilla and Tokyo SOS.
The Cosmos (Keiko Imamura and Sayaka Osawa) – Those tiny Japanese girls are back, as tiny as ever! Now they are in red Kool-aid-tinted Astral Projection form! They warn Miki of the danger of SpaceGodzilla. They thank Miki when it is all over. That’s about all they do, but at least it is the same girls playing the part.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla was just minding his business one day when this space freak comes to Earth, throws his kid in a crystal cage, blasts Godzilla up, and then goes all “I’m conquering the Earth!” We know Godzilla ain’t gonna stand for that crap, so soon he is kicking butt and blasting names and chewing bubblegum. I messed up the quote but you get the idea.
SpaceGodzilla (Ryo Hariya) – SpaceGodzilla comes from space, hence the name. He is also totally into crystals. He believes in Crystal Lite because they believe in him! SpaceGodzilla can’t go ten minutes without explaining all sorts of crystal nonsense to you, and also mentioning how he wants to conquer the galaxy. I guess the crystals told him to do it.
MOGUERA (Wataru Fukuda) – Mobile Operation Godzilla Universal Expert Robot Aero-Type is now MOGUERA and was built by G-Force from the ruins of Mechagodzilla. The original Mogueras were tools of alien invaders in The Mysterians. Can split into Land Moguera and Star Falcon.
Littlegodzilla (???) – Jerk. Gets stuffed in a crystal cage for being a jerk.
Fairy Mothra (Puppet) – Miki is off tripping balls so she sees tiny Mothras flying around. Miki is insane.

M&M escalates the War on Skittles. Taste this rainbow, bitch!

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Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 (Review)

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2

aka Gojira VS Mekagojira

1993

Directed by Takao Okawara

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 is not one of my favorite movies in the Heisei series. This is due to several factors, but largely because I hate Babygodzilla. I am a big fan of Minya, but Babygodzilla is just annoying. He fills me with disgust. Parts of this film are pretty great, but besides annoyance at the offspring, other problems creep up. Rodan is pretty much wasted in his only Heisei appearance. He does little more than show up, get beat up, and then die. Twice. The music is also odd, partially because it is inspired by King Kong Escapes and not a Godzilla film. And let’s just not go into how annoying it is to have multiple films with the same title!

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2 was released dubbed on VHS years after its release in Japan, it was so delayed that they changed the sprites in a Godzilla video game from the new Mechagodzilla to the older 1974 one because America didn’t even know about this new one. I guess the USA just can’t handle updated robots.

Kazuma Aoki (Masahiro Takashima) – This man is obsessed with pterodactyls! Obsessed! It is pretty scary. Masahiro Takashima fought more giant monsters in Orochi the Eight-Headed Dragon and returned to the Heisei series in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah.
Azusa Gojo (Ryoko Sano) – A female scientist with who was with Professor Omae on his egg quest, ends up bonding with Babygodzilla.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – That psychic girl is back being psychic again, because her job is to be psychic. Just imagine that listing popping up on Craigslist: Help Wanted: Must be Japanese, female, under 25, a psychic, and not afraid of giant lizards. Experience preferred. Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
Professor Omae (Yusuke Kawazu) – Scientist who leads expedition to the island and finds the Babygodzilla egg and Rodan. Yusuke Kawazu was in the second and third films in the 1990s Gamera trilogy.
Minister Takayuki Segawa (Kenji Sahara) – Kenji Sahara has been in Godzilla films since the beginning, this is the third and final turn as Minister Takayuki Segawa in the Heisei series, he showed up again in Godzilla: Final Wars. Don’t miss him in these Ultra Q episodes.
Dr. Asimov (Leo Meneghetti) – In this alternate reality, Dr. Isaac Asimov not only is a great author on books of robotics, but he didn’t die, de-aged, and became one of the lead designers of Mechagodzilla. Or this guy is just named after Isaac Asimov.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Yeah, yeah, King of the Monsters, and now a single parent. That’s what you get for not wearing protection, Godzilla!
Mechagodzilla (Wataru Fukuda) – Build from the wreckage of Mecha-King Ghidorah, Mechagodzilla is here to fight Godzilla! The NT-1 alloy, helium-3, and diamond shield armor are no match for a pterodactyl turning into gold flakes.
Rodan (Puppet) – Hatching from an egg and just chillin’ on an island until Godzilla shows up to kill him, Rodan joins the Heisei universe. Rodan later becomes Fire Rodan, because every monster in the Heisei series has several life stages.
Super Mechagodzilla (Wataru Fukuda) – Even this robot can’t escape having several life stages, as Mechagodzilla combines with the Garuda to form Super Mechagodzilla, who gets Super Destroyed at the end of the film. Super.
Fire Rodan (Puppet) – Yeah, here is the Fire Rodan entry. Fire Rodan isn’t fiery enough! We demand more fire! I want him made out of lava! That’s my Fire Rodan.
Babygodzilla (???) – I hate you, Babygodzilla. Replacing Minya in the Heisei series is this reject from an episode of Disney’s Dinosaurs. Babygodzilla is somehow Rodan’s half-brother and is sung to by plants.


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Godzilla vs. Mothra (Review)

Godzilla vs. Mothra

aka Gojira vs. Mosura aka Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth

1992

Directed by Takao Okawara
Written by Kazuki Omori


This is the most popular film of the Heisei Godzilla series, in that it did the best at the box office due to the cross appeal of Mothra with girls. It spawned the Mothra Trilogy as an offshoot (though technically not in the same universe) and helped set up sequels down the line in the Heisei series. And it wasn’t released in the US until years later, thanks to fallout from Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah. Thus, I ended up with a full-screen dubbed VHS release around 1998 or so when the movies started to show up at the local Suncoast (now bankrupt.) Isn’t that grand? So as Godzilla has been rebooted, it is time for familiar monsters to start reappearing. Since Ghidorah already did his part, now Mothra will show up to kick some Godzilla butt. Mothra is also joined by Battra, the Dark Mothra. Wow, how original. Will Dark Godzilla then show up? What about Light Ghidorah? What if we had a Godzilla who was black on one side and green on the other? Then he fought another bi-colored Godzilla, except his colors were on the opposite sides! This is a Star Trek joke, for those of you who are 13 and stumbled across this while Googling for “Godzilla boobs” or something.

Someone will find this review by Googling “Godzilla boobs”

Back to the films, we have typical Heisei stuff with the army being useless, that psychic girl Miki Saegusa showing up, and a bunch of new main characters who have to spend the film repairing their marriage. Important stuff, to be sure. This is also the deput of the Heisei Shibojin, or the Cosmos as they get renamed this time around. And they are not real twins, just two Idols that Toho had lying around.

Originally, Mothra was to fight a monster known as Bagan in a film called Mothra Vs. Bagan. Then Godzilla vs. Biollante tanked and Toho realized that no one knew who Bagan was. Instead of having Mothra fight Bagan all across Asia (including battles in Shanghai and Bangkok) Mothra was reworked into the Godzilla series. Mothra then got so popular she headlined her own trilogy of films. Bagan appeared as the final boss in the Super Nintendo video game Super Godzilla, and almost fought Godzilla in Godzilla vs. Bagan, but that film became Godzilla vs. Destoroyah. So Bagan gets the shaft again!

Takuya Fujito (Tetsuya Bessho) – Indiana Jones has been reincarnated as a Japanese tomb raider. That’s what happens when you die in a fridge as a nuke goes off. Takuya Fujito spends so much time stealing ancient artifacts he divorced his wife and hasn’t seen his young daughter. This all changes thanks to the power of Godzilla. Sure, thousands died, but Takuya rekindles his marriage!
Masako Tezuka (Satomi Kobayoshi) – Ex-wife of Takuya Fujito and mother of their young daughter. Reluctantly gets her husband out of jail to guide a mission in Infant Island in search of the giant egg, and being around each other during tragedy helps them get back together.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – Don’t you know who she is by now? Miki Saegusa spends most of the film hunting down tiny girls.
The Cosmos (Keiko Imamura & Sayaka Osawa) – The Shobijin are now The Cosmos, because of…uh…um…stuff. So they are still two tiny girls who speak in unison, have psychic powers, and give warnings to people. They also get kidnapped by evil corporations all the time, because evil corporations are dumb and think two tiny slave girls will lead to an increase in sales of octopus-flavored Pocky. Maybe it would, this is Japan we are talking about. The Cosmos were created by the lifeforce of the Earth
Kenji Andoh (Takehiro Murata) – The Secretary to the President of the Maritomo Company. Sort of a jerk, but becomes less of a jerk when he stands up to his boss. Then he gets fired and exits the movie. Takehiro Murata also stars as Yuji Shinoda in Godzilla 2000, as a newspaper editor in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah, and has cameos in GMK: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack and Godzilla X Mechagodzilla.
Professor Fukazawa (Saburo Shinoda) – Professor of being a suave Japanese Professor, also volcanoes or something. Will return in Godzilla vs. Destoroyah
Marutomo Head Takeshi Tomokane (Makoto Otake) – Evil CEO of an Evil Corporation who is Evil. And also a dork. Look at him, with his dorkiness. Conspires to cut down all trees, enslave the environment, kidnap tiny girls, and fire anyone who disagrees with him. His stockholders love him.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla? Never heard of him.
Mothra Larva (puppet) – Another Mothra pops out of an egg and immediately is involved in a fight. For someone who loves peace so much, Mothra sure gets into fights as a newborn a lot. Mothra has a fight in the high seas, trashes a city searching for The Cosmos, and then morphs into moth form after a cocoon on the Diet.
Mothra Moth (puppet) – Moth form of Mothra hasn’t changed much except to get bigger than the Showa form. And she has beam weapons now. And she can make little tiny Mothras, though we don’t see that in this movie so just forget I mentioned it.
Battra Larva (Hurricane Ryu Hariken) – Battra first appezred 12,000 years ago to trash civilization because they made a weather control device and Earth was mad. Battra and Mothra fought each other during that time. You remember all of this from history class so there is no need to add details. Battra then slept and was supposed to awaken in 1999 to destroy a meteor, but Godzilla woke him up earlier. So now Battra Larva is running around doing Battra Larva things. Is 90 meters long and weighs 20,000 tons
Battra Bat (puppet) – Battra then grows up without the need of a cocoon. First Battra hates Mothra, but eventually the two team up to attack Godzilla. This results in the death of Battra, who hasn’t been back unless you count Godzilla Island episodes. Adult Battra has a length of 73 meters and weights 30,000 tons, with a wingspan of 180 meters and can fly at Mach 3. Battra is the Black Mothra.
Yuzo Tsuchiashi (Akiji Kobayashi) – A grey-haired guy in G-Force who is some of these Heisei films yet he wasn’t featured in a Roll Call because these Heisei films have like 90,000 characters. He went back in time in Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah and helps plan defenses against Godzilla in multiple films. He is a friend of Environmental Planning Board Chief Jyoji Minamino. Actor Akiji Kobayashi is famous for the Kamen Rider X series, and also cameos in Gamera 2: Assault of the Legion.


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Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (Review)

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah

aka Gojira vs. Kingu Gidora

1991

Directed and written by Kazuki Omori

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah is the third of the Heisei series of films, and the first to include a classic Toho kaiju in a new form (other classic monsters such as Mothra and Rodan would soon arrive as well.) The big story with Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah is not the plot or the monsters or any of that jazz, but the controversy surrounding the release of the film. Back in 1991, the US was still having rough relations with Japan economically, following a period where Japan seemed to be buying up much of America at wholesale prices. Japan’s edge had started to slip at this point, and they would soon be in the middle of a decade-long recession, but fear of Japan soon controlling the world war rampant in the dimmest of bulbs, who coincidentally just happen to have radio and TV shows. They were upset over the sequence where the precursor to Godzilla, the Godzillasaurus, slaughters a bunch of US troops during World War 2. The fact that men from the future who were white also went back in time to ruin Japan economically in retaliation of Japan’s dominance was also touchy. Accusations of anti-Americanism flew wild, and Japan had to say “What the frak?” No one seemed upset over the thousands of dead Japanese people in the film, the fact a Japanese woman was one of the time travelers, a white guy was a good robot, or the fact that everyone in the future where Japan dominated hated the country and thought of them as corrupt and deserving death for their arrogance.

But talking heads are morons, so who gives a crap what they thought in 1991? All I am concerned about is if that had any decision in the delaying of release of the post-Biollante films in America. Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah did not hit the US market until at least 1996, because I bought the VHS of it while I was in college. A few bootlegs circled at conventions, but outside of the grey market you could not get a glimpse of new Godzilla for five years. Of all of the Heisei era films, I think I enjoy this one the most, largely due to the human characters not being that annoying. It was very much better than its predecessor, Godzilla vs. Biollante, which was terrible (when Godzilla wasn’t fighting the army) and featured a stupid monster that I hate. Biollante’s poor showing at the box office basically forced Toho to tell the director he is bringing back a named monster, something that happened again when GMK: Tokyo SOS director Masaaki Tezuka was forced to put Ghidorah and Mothra in a film neither had any business being in. Toho could easily avoid this by not having lame monsters like Biollante or Megaguirus, but I guess that is just too difficult. Rumors swirl that this was originally going to star King Kong in a rematch against Godzilla, but negotiations went sour.

Enough rambling, let’s get to this production! We will have the cast breakdown, and then jump into the feature

Kenichiro Terasawa (Kosuke Toyohara) – All Godzilla films need a reporter and a scientist, so Kenichiro Terasawa is our reporter. He predicts where Godzilla comes from, IN THE FUTURE, but for now he is just a guy who hasn’t done anything cool yet.
Emmy Kano (Anna Nakagawa) – From the future! She came back in time to destroy her native Japan because Emmy has self-hate issues or something. Regardless, she soon realizes that Japan is ichiban and switches teams to be all 100% pro-Japan. She is also a pseudo-love interest for Kenichiro Terasawa, which is sort of gross because she is his descendent. I guess in the future the inbreds rule the roost.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – Recurring character Miki Saegusa returns for the first time, thus she is a recurring character. Recurring, you see. She is psychic and has big ears. They are related. Also, she will be a recurring character, have I mentioned that?
Professor Mazaki (Katsuhiko Sasaki) – Hey, a physics expert! Our resident scientist helps Terasawa discover the secret of Godzilla’s origin and explain the time travel junk to the military.
M-11 (Robert Scott Field) – A white guy who isn’t evil or related to a director just happens to be a robot! But that allows for cyborg action like the world has never seen. Okay, not quite. M-11 is pretty cool for a second-rate Data so I give him two robotic thumbs up!
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – Godzilla grows in size thanks to modern radiation from 80 meters to 100 meters. Now he can kick even more butt! If Godzilla ever wanders past your house, don’t use any radiation on him, because he’ll keep growing bigger and bigger and have to buy new wardrobes each time, making Godzilla madder and madder.
King Ghidorah (Hurricane Ryu) – King Ghidorah is the agent of the evil Futurians used to try to destroy Japan so they won’t rule the world of the future. Three heads are better than one, unless you have low ceilings.
Mecha-King Ghidorah (Hurricane Ryu) – Mecha-King Ghidorah is the modified version of King Ghidorah that transports from the future to fight Godzilla. Piloted by Emmy and M-11.
Godzillasaurus (Wataru Fukuda) – Godzillasaurus was just chillin’ on his island when these Japanese guys showed up and trenched in. Godzillasaurus suspiciously ignored them until heroic Americans came to kill the Japanese, and Godzillasaurus decided he should get involved in the conflict. His attempts at peacemaker resulted in his body being riddled with bullets, so Godzillasaurus lashed back and struck out in anger. Godzillasaurus hid his rage deep inside until it consumed him and he became rage personified. So learn some stress management, kiddies!
Dorats (puppets) – AHGH!! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! Sorry. These ugly as sin things turn into King Ghidorah. If the Futurians wanted to destroy Japan maybe they should have dropped several dozen back in time so there would be many King Ghidorahs. But that would require having some brains!
The best special effects money can buy!

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Godzilla vs. Biollante (Review)

Godzilla vs. Biollante

aka Gojira vs. Biorante

1989

Directed by Kazuki Omori
Written by Shinichiro Kobayashi and Kazuki Omori


The origins of Godzilla vs. Biollante are not what is usual for a Godzilla film (with the possible exception of Godzilla vs. Megalon) In 1986 Toho held a contest to write the next chapter in the Godzilla saga. The eventual winner was a dentist named Shinichiro Kobayashi, who came up with a concept about the mutant plant, dead scientist’s daughter, and the psychic girl. The final product is radically different in the other parts, as Shinichiro Kobayashi’s original script also included a rat/fish hybrid monster named Deutalios. The plot also echos parts of the Ultra Q episode The Mammoth Flower, in that there is a giant flower with wacky tentacles. In an interesting side note, the second place winner of the story competition was an entry titled Godzilla 2 by American Jim Bannon, which is set in the future and had a super computer that creates battle machines to fight Godzilla. Toho eventually to this script, yanked the Godzilla out of it, and turned it into the 1989 movie GUNHED. Toho considered using the GUNHED computer to fight Godzilla in subsequent Heisei films, but as we know that never happened.

Since I am mentioning the term Heisei, I might as well explain what it is for those of you who aren’t Gojiraphiles. There are three main eras of Godzilla films. The original series is the Showa series and runs from the original film in 1954 until 1974’s Terror of Mechagodzilla. The second series is known as the Heisei series after the Emperor of Japan during the bulk of the series. It began with Godzilla 1985 (aka Return of Godzilla) and ran through 1995’s Godzilla vs. Destoroyah. The third series was the Millennium Series, which started with Godzilla 2000 and ran through Godzilla Final War.

Scientist labor to find out if Mister Muffins or Whiskers was the feline who yakked on the couch

Miki Saegusa will become a recurring character throughout the Heisei series. A psychic girl who has a link with Godzilla, she comes in useful when Godzilla resurfaces and causes trouble. Miki starts out as a young girl here (and is really dressed down as a child compared to the later movies where she will be presented more grown up) and matures as the series goes on. An occurring character in so many movies is a rare thing in Godzilla films, and she helped string the Heisei films into a more cohesive group. She is played by Megumi Odaka, who has retired from acting around 2000 and dropped out of public view shortly afterward. Rumors have swirled of illness, but as to what she has been up to it is anyone’s guess.

Biollante represents mankind’s arrogance, which is a theme the film will beat over your head again and again. Yes, we get it, mankind is arrogant and playing God and all that stuff. We know this from the other Godzilla films that say some of the same stuff. So getting an extra layer of shame cake is not a pleasant desert. The next film gets all preachy as well, but about totally different things. As many of the live action sequences are completely forgettable, much of the preaching falls on ears that won’t remember it 90 minutes later. The human story here switches from scientists and ethical dilemmas to terrorist countries and their goons to psychic schoolgirls to untested military officers. It is like four stories in one, plus the monster action. The film debuted dubbed on video and cable in the US, though I have a copy of a Japanese version which will be used in the review. As far as I know there is no real difference.

Kazuhito Kirishima (Kunihiko Mitamura) – Scientist who becomes involved in international intrigue in the wake of Godzilla’s return from volcano slumber. Kazuhito works with Godzilla cells, but ends up partnering with Lt. Goro Gondo in an attempt to stop Saradian terrorists. Kunihiko Mitamura has another encounter with kaiju in Gamera 3.
Asuka Okouchi (Yoshiko Tanaka) – Our female main character who is dating fellow scientist Kazuhito Kirishima. Asuka Okouchi works with at the psychic institute and acts as a pseudo-mother to Miki Saegusa. Her father runs the Okouchi Foundation that does a lot of shady biogenetic work in the name of science. Yoshiko Tanaka returns as Asuka Okouchi in Godzilla vs Mothra.
Major Sho Kuroki (Masanobu Takashima) – Young kid in charge of dealing with the Godzilla counter-attack. I guess Japan was all out of old generals. Manages to do a pretty good job, so good his character doesn’t return in any sequels. Masanobu Takashima will finally get to fight Godzilla again as Major Kita in Godzilla: Final Wars.
Dr. Shiragami (Koji Takahashi) – Scientist whose daughter Erica was killed by terrorists, so he implants her DNA into roses (that start to die) so then he inserts Godzilla DNA into those roses. Good job, idiot! Then he spends the rest of the film calling people arrogant, until he is thankfully shot.
Lieutenant Goro Gondo (Toru Minegishi) – Military Man who was in charge of the site where Godzilla was trapped by the volcano. Manages to not even get blamed in the slightest when terrorists plant giant bombs and blow up the volcano. He is off running around doing wacky Godzilla-fighting stuff, and gets squashed by a building after shooting Godzilla in the mouth with a bacteria-laden rocket.
Miki Saegusa (Megumi Odaka) – A psychic teenage girl who will become a recurring character in the Heisei series. In this installment she is dressed up like a young girl, but the following films with dress her like an actual adult.
SSS9 (Brien Uhl) – Assassin who works for Saradia or something, also called an ALIEN agent (another terrorist group) but also kills terrorists. Thanks to the confusing plot, I was not sure what his name was, so we got the description of “Scrawny Lorenzo Lamas” in the plot synopsis! But according to the credits his name is SSS9. Yeah.
Godzilla (Kenpachiro Satsuma) – You don’t know who Godzilla is? What, do you live in a cave? Well, go back to painting things on a wall, because we are assuming you know who Big G is. As Godzilla vs. Biollante takes place after the last film, Godzilla starts out buried in a volcano.
Biollante rose form (???) – Hey, a giant rose would be totally cool to see Godzilla! And this is some good crack!
Biollante final form (???) – Lizard version of Biollante is less stupid but still pretty darn lame.


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