March of Godzilla 2019
It’s time for March of Godzilla 2019! As usual, we are bringing out theme month late and it will probably run longer than a month, but if there is one thing TarsTarkas.NET is known for, it’s for randomly starting and updating things at no regular schedule. Thanks to the power of busy work, being sick, and a major construction project eating up my spare time, we will get one Godzilla flick, then a few other updates, and finally the rest of the bunch! And hopefully there will be a bunch this time, not just Godzilla flicks but other media!
Godzilla: King of the Monsters
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Hiragana (すすめ!ゴジランド~ひらがな)
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning How To Count (すすめ!ゴジランド~かず1・2・3)
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Addition (すすめ!ゴジランド-ゴジラとあそぼう たしざん)
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Subtraction (すすめ!ゴジランド ゴジラとあそぼう ひきざん)
Scooby-Doo And The Ghoul School
Godziban GEMSTONE Pilot – ゴジばん【GEMSTONE】
Godziban Episode 01 – “We Godzilla Three Brothers! ” Go! Go! Godzilla-kun # 1
Godziban Episode 02 – 「さよならの恋人たちの巻」かまってゴジラ#1【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 03 -「かっとばせ!ゴジラ三兄弟の巻」Go!Go!ゴジラくん#2【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 04 – “The Sad Ballerina” Kamatte Godzilla # 2
Godziban Episode 05 – KAIJU PUPPET SHOW 「Secret Training on the Pointed Mountain」 Go! Go! Godzilla # 3【Goji Ban】
Godziban Episode 06 – “Secret recipe! roll of drop kick” Go! Go! Godzilla-kun #4/ Kamatte-Godzilla # 3
Godziban Episode 07 – “Run! Three Brothers’ Chapter” Go! Go! Godzilla-kun # 5
Godziban Episode 08 – Go! Go! Godzilla: Episode 6/ Kamatte Godzilla # 4/”Ask Jetjaguar!” # 1
Godziban Episode 09 -「モシュモシュ以心伝心の巻」もしモス#1/「ジェットジャガーに訊け!」#2【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 10 – ヘドじい漫遊記#1【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 11 – 「ジェットジャガーに訊け!」(Ask Jet Jaguar!) #1#2#3(English ver.)【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 12 – 「あの崖に向かって飛べ!の巻」 Go!Go!ゴジラくん#7【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 13 – 英語版 「 Smack it! Three Godzilla Brothers」Go!Go!ゴジラくん#2【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 14 – 『ゴジラ・フェス2019』ゴジばん生上演ダイジェストムービー【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 15 – 「赤い風船」ジェットジャガーに訊け!#4【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 16 – 「頑固おやじの一番長い日」かまってゴジラ#5【ゴジばん】
Godziban Episode 17 – 「ミニラの息子」Go!Go!ゴジラくん#8 【ゴジばん】
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The Ever-Morphing Bodies of Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
We can’t discuss the Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory without noting the vast amount of body dysmorphia happening, both to the featured players and to the cartoon animals. The Willy Wonka story has its various body horrors: Augustus Gloop is squished through a clear pipe, Violet Beauregarde is transformed into a living purple grape that needs to be juiced (before she explodes!), and Mike TeeVee is broken down into tiny pieces and reassembled in tiny form. Plus this doesn’t count the characters that almost float to their doom or are dropped down long shafts into the furnace, nor the tiny orange men who sing songs dunking on the victims. It is a living cartoon, so slots in perfectly with Tom and Jerry. So Tom and Jerry is now forced to both have the signature violent cartoon styles with the addition of running riffs of all the various Willy Wonka gimmicks. What results is a cornucopia feast of crazy body morphing that deserves its own spotlight separate from the main review. Enjoy!
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The Equalizer, John Wick and Generational Masculinity: Ruminations On a Theme
Academy Award winning screenwriter Sylvester Stallone once – or, indeed, many times – said that nobody is as tough as their grandpa, because the times were tougher back then. There’s certainly some truth to that, assuming you’re lucky enough to live in the right kind of place. Of course, when Stallone said it he was promoting Rambo, a movie about an elderly Vietnam vet teaching a bunch of idealistic missionaries that only violence can solve the world’s problems.
We’ve seen this a lot in recent years, but it isn’t anything new. Clint Eastwood seems eager to prove over and over again that old people are better at pretending to be tough in movies than young people. Stallone and Schwarzenegger, once the young athletes of the silver screen, have tried to corner the market in tough old man action and even the once-acclaimed acting powerhouse Liam Neeson has become a comical posterchild for the subgenre. Mel Gibson, meanwhile, has attempted to make several comebacks of the same type with little success, while Tom Cruise gets around the issue by never aging. Even Bill Nighy has taken a swing at it!
The message is always the same: when times get tough, you need to call on someone who was forged in tougher times. Remember: no matter how bad things get, you damn kids don’t know hard times. Your grandpappy saw worse shit than the Syrian civil war on the way to church every Sunday morning and he’s not gonna let you forget it. Eastwood’s character in Gran Torino fantasizes openly about shooting black teenagers on the street, but somehow evolves into a non-racist Christ figure by teaching a young migrant lad how to be a real man (apparently it’s all in the way you talk to your barber or something). And, naturally, that’s what this is all about: being a real man.
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March of Godzilla: Godman
The new March of Godzilla is here! And like most prior Marches of Godzilla, it is late as heck! March, Smarch, 2015, 2016, Godzilla stomps when he darn well pleases! And also like several other Marches of Godzilla, there is a theme to this March:
SOS SOS SOS GODMAN! Godman is here to murder monsters and also violently kill them dead. If you are unfamiliar with Godman, star of the television series Go! Godman (行け!ゴッドマン – Ike! Goddoman), then you are not alone, so please enjoy the gigantic dump of Godman information.
Our interest in Ike! Godman is purely professional – several Godzilla-related kaiju suits were used on the show, the suits usually credited as the actual Godzilla-related monster. So that makes Godman (and fellow show Ike! Greenman) technically part of the Toho monster universe, even if the series is largely disowned by Toho and regularly condemned as the worst tokusatsu show of all time.
The complaints are not an exaggeration, Ike Godman is TERRIBLE! The basic series runs like this: One or more annoying children are menaced by a monster (often because they provoke it), they scream for Godman, who then flies in and fights the monster for several episodes until he brutally murders it. That’s the entire show. Ike Godman was meant to be digested in tiny chunks every day, and not the binge-watching approach we are attempting. But… YUCK! Getting through these shows was a slog. There was a reason I took a far too long break before finishing up writing about them! (And then I need to do the whole thing over again with Go! Greenman!)
We’ll have plenty of screencaps posted so those jerkwads at the Godzilla wiki can then steal them without attribution like they’ve done so often before to me and other sites. Fuck the Godzilla Wiki. I’ll also borrow photos from other sites that have some pics of the monsters of episodes that aren’t available, but I’ll list my sources, unlike the previously mentioned terrible site of terrible people who are terrible.
Godman himself is a piece of work. He’s silver and red, with long flowing hair (partially hidden behind his red mask) that is rather unique in the tokusatsu hero world. Godman wears a red spandex body pajama with an outside filthy silver diaper, and booties and gloves. Godman is also big at promoting his own brand, with a big “G” imprinted on his belt buckle, boot buckles (actually golden rings), and wrists. Too bad there is another more famous giant creature whose name begins with G that already has that “G” brand sewn up, guy! Godman came to Earth from the Fire God Star, which means there might be a whole planet of Godmen out there punching all sorts of poor monsters. Why can’t the Garogas from Zone Fighter blow up Fire God Star? Get with the program, lazy Garogas!
Godman has a bunch of powers. He can fly and change his height in order to fight gigantic monsters. The height-changing is powered by the G-emblazoned golden rings on his shoes, which occasionally are removed because Godman is too cheap to go to the jewelers and get them fitted properly. Like all tokusatsu, Godman has a bunch of special moves that he does by calling out their name. They include: God-Circle, which is Godman’s Tron disc that explodes. God-Spark, which is explosive finger sparkles. God-Crush, which is Godman’s flail that he uses on monsters to redirect their attack back to them. God-Acid, which is special acid that comes from Godman’s hand. God-Shower, which is a gross-sounding water attack. Godman Supersonic Wave, which is when Godman fires a swirl from his chest that brutally murders his opponents. Godman totally stole that last attack from Yars’ Revenge, despite that video game not even being invented yet!
The episodes of Ike! Godman on the DVD set are out of order, many of them are just partial episodes, and some are completely missing. We’ll be posting them in the order that they originally aired, the one true order! I’ve also found some of the missing episodes thanks to the magic of the internet, but was unable to locate every missing piece. There are also no subtitles, but at TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles! It’s not like many of these episodes even have dialogue, so that’s no big loss. We’ll have a nice Godman Splash Page with all your Godman needs, in case you somehow have needs about Godman. That page will mainly be useful as a kaiju guide, Godman powers guide, and episode guide. Guide guide guide.
Let’s launch March of Godzilla: Godman with the goddest man of all, Godman! Bring on the kaiju!
Ike! Godman Splash Page
Godman vs. Gabara (ゴッドマン対ガバラ その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Gabara (October 12 – 18, 1972)
Godman vs. Yasugon and Tsunoterah (ゴッドマン対ヤスゴン その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Yasugon – Tsunokeraa (October 26 – November 1, 1972)
Godman vs. Tsunosilver (ゴッドマン対ツノシルバー その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Tsunoshirubaa (November 2 – 8, 1972)
Godman vs. Gorosaurus (ゴッドマン対ゴロザウルス その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Gorozaurusu (November 9 – 15, 1972)
Godman vs. Kamoebas and Folgon (ゴッドマン対カメーバ・フォルゴン その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Kameeba – Forugon (December 7 – 13, 1972)
Godman vs. Dongolar (ゴッドマン対ドンゴラー その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Dongoraa (January 11 – 17, 1973)
Godman vs. Skeleton Man No.1 and Skeleton Man No.2 (ゴッドマン対スケルトマンNo.1・スケルトマンNo.2 その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Sukerutoman No.1 – Sukerutoman No.2 (January 18 – 24, 1973)
Godman vs. Sanda (ゴッドマン対サンダ その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Sanda (January 25 – 31, 1973)
Godman vs. Gaira (ゴッドマン対ガイラ その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Gaira (February 1 – 7, 1973)
Godman vs. Green-Mask (ゴッドマン対グリーンマスク その1 – その3) Goddoman Tai Geriinmasuku (February 15 – 21, 1973)
Godman vs. Bat-Man (ゴッドマン対バットマン その1 – その3) Goddoman Tai Battoman (February 22 – 28, 1973)
Godman vs. Tsunojiras (ゴッドマン対オストタム その1 – その3) Goddoman Tai Tsunojirasu (March 8 – 14, 1973)
Godman vs. Totsaurus (ゴッドマン対トットザウルス その1 – その3) Goddoman Tai Tottozaurusu (March 15 – 21, 1973)
Godman vs. Stegojiras and Akumon (ゴッドマン対ステゴジラス・アクモン その1 – その6) Goddoman Tai Sutegojirasu – Akumon (April 5 – 11, 1973)
Shin Godzilla aka シン・ゴジラ aka Godzilla Resurgence
Categories: Cinema Articles Tags: March of Godzilla: Godman