One of the most anticipated film trailers in recent memory has hit the internet, and it’s a decisive “meh.” Which is a shame, but what are you gonna do? 50 Shades of Grey was destined to get all sorts of shade tossed its way no matter how the trailer looked, because it’s already complete with a pack of haters. From the S&M enthusiasts angry that things don’t match reality to fanfic writers angry because this Twilight fanfic made millions while their S&M ponies story didn’t to people who are immature about the subject of sexuality to teenage boys who sit confused at a movie targeted for 30-something housewives, there is no shortage of people who will be making a fuss.
The trailer even failed to impress the toughest critic of all, my wife! Maybe later trailers will do more, but for now, things look strangely vanilla, Ana Steele comes off as boring, and Christian Grey just seemed creepily attracted for no reason at all. But, then, it is Twilight… I’m just sad my fantasy casting of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson will never happen, because that would have blown everyone’s minds! We’ll just have to see how Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan do once all the moaning and groaning begins.
Despite all this, and despite the trailer failing to impress too much, 50 Shades of Grey is still a film that we’re going to go see opening weekend, because that’s how we do. Also, do you really want to sit in the chairs at the theater after a couple showings of this film? They might be a bit…..sticky!
The full trailer for Mary Kom has been released. Priyanka Chopra plays the Olympic boxer in this biopic, which looks to follow all of the usual sports underdog stories tropes, except with the undercurrent of women fighting back against bad men in the wake of far far too many rapes in India. MC Mary Kom herself helps trains women in self defense, and hopefully films like these help inspire more women to stand up for themselves.
Despite not being subtitled, it still looks like it will a good time, one of those sports films where you cheer along with the audience. There is even the required training while in nature sequence that Rocky IV has made mandatory! But will there be a robot? I’m planning on adding it to my ever-growing too-watch list. Which means I will see it. Sometime.
Mary Kom is directed by Omung Kumar, and it releases September 5th in India. See some posters tweeted out by Priyanka Chopra here!
Just when you thought action scenes couldn’t get more ridiculous, India comes along to prove everyone wrong! Bang Bang looks amazing from this short teaser trailer, and our hero Hrithik Roshan rises out of the ocean on a flyboard to blow away villains. That’s just the beginning of the action, which includes a huge chase stunt sequence that features over 120 cars and was shot in Abu Dhabi. It’s said to be one of, if not the, biggest action sequences in a Bollywood film. Hrithik Roshan was injured during shooting one of the stunts and had to undergo emergency brain surgery due to a subdural hematoma.
Bang Bang is a remake of Knight and Day, the Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz film where he was a secret agent and she was a random person who got dragged into his affairs, hijinks then ensued. This looks a little more action packed, so I don’t know if Katrina Kaif (Dhoom: 3) will be totally innocent or also a secret agent of the caliber that’s firing guns while riding a motorcycle like in the trailer.
Director Siddharth Anand helmed Salaam Namaste and several other hits, largely romantic comedies or dramas. Bang Bang is scheduled for release October 2nd.
Mercenaries has an action-packed trailer, as female prisoners are recruited to rescue the daughter of the President, thus lots of things explode and get shot! We got Zöe Bell, Kristanna Loken, Vivica A. Fox, and Nicole Bilderback as the mercenaries, with Brigitte Nielsen as the villainess and Cynthia Rothrock as the lady who organizes the raid. It’s a mockbuster of Expendables 3, but unlike the Expendables movies, it looks like it will be good! The film premieres at San Diego Comic Con July 30th, and released everywhere streaming/VOD/DVD August 8th. How can you not want to see a film that says “Let’s go PMS from hell on this place!”??
A diplomatic official is captured and imprisoned while touring a war zone, so a team of elite female commandoes is assembled to infiltrate a women’s prison for a daring rescue. Starring Zöe Bell, Kristanna Loken, Vivica A. Fox, Brigitte Nielsen, Nicole Bilderback, and Cynthia Rothrock. Premieres at San Diego Comic Con July 30th.
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2
Based on the comic book by Frank Miller and Klaus Janson
Written by Bob Goodman
Characters created by Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Jerry Robinson, Jerry Siegel, Joe Shuster, and John Sikela
Directed by Jay Oliva
When last we left the Dark Knight, he had returned, and so had a lot of problems. Both an immediate threat and a looming menace have been defeated, and now things need mopping up. But new dangers lurk in the shadows, preparing to strike. And Batman’s activities have gained the attention of powerful people, who aren’t fans of things happening outside their control. The Dark Knight Returns continues with Part 2, covering issues #3 and 4 of the comic series. Fair warning, we pretty much go over every detail of the movie and comic, so SPOILERS!
The Joker has awakened from his catatonic state, for without the Batman around, there was no meaning in his life. Now he is infused with revitalized purpose, and the doctors at Arkham Asylum have taken a break from appearing on television to blame Batman for everything to praise Joker for the breakthroughs he’s accomplished. They feel the Joker has genuine remorse for his crimes. The manipulation here is more forced and too brief, in the comics Joker awakens earlier and we see him develop through a few scenes instead of jumping to the point. Though it does highlight the incompetent doctors by making them more incompetent. Joker is playing them like a fiddle, but he does manage to get them to agree to have him appear on a television show: The David Endocrine Show (a take on David Letterman, here voiced by excellent stunt casting with Conan O’Brien!) Batman immediately knows that Joker is planning to kill everyone. And he’s right.
The Mutants have splintered in the wake of their leader’s defeat and humiliation. Some have taken up the mantle of Batman and viciously attack criminals in the streets. Others have formed more smaller gangs run by strongmen, or strongwomen, in the case of the Bruno gang. Bruno being a rather muscular woman who runs around without a shirt and only red paint Nazi swastikas covering her breasts. She’s referred to as Joker’s girl (this was pre-Harley Quinn), and she’s Batman’s next target as he tries to figure out what Joker is up to.
The cops are now lead by the new Commissioner Yindel, whose first act was to call for Batman’s arrest. They are guarding the roof of the studio with a massive force. The battle will be futile, the cops are well armed enough that despite all of Batman’s skills and tricks, there are just too many of them with too much force that he can’t get through. He’s saved by Carrie as she flies the Batcopter in close to pick him up. By then it is too late, everyone in the studio is dead and the Joker is free.
Bad, Movie Reviews Tags:
Ariel Winter, Batman, Batmania, Bill Finger, Bob Goodman, Bob Kane, David Selby, Frank Miller, Jay Oliva, Jerry Robinson, Jerry Siegel, Joe Shuster, John Sikela, Klaus Janson, Maria Canals-Barrera, Mark Valley, Michael Emerson, Michael Jackson, Peter Weller, Wade Williams
See Sharktopus vs Pteracuda on August 2nd on SyFy! The second film in the Sharktopus trilogy, to be followed by Sharktopus vs. Mermantula
Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda – Sunday, August 2 at 9PM – In this new Roger Corman movie, the child of Sharktopus goes toe-to-toe with the latest science experiment “Pteracuda” – half Pteradactyl, half Barracuda – in a battle for monster supremacy. A production of New Horizons Pictures, the movie stars Robert Carradine (Django Unchained) and Katie Savoy (Living with Models).
And, yes, Conan O’Brien is in it!