Oh my God, can you believe Becky married her professor and didn’t get a deadly lesson? How shameful!
After you are done being all infidel, it’s time for Lifetime to get even more dangerous and more educational with Deadly Lessons! It’s so Lifetime it hurts, with an evil man being totally evil! Shockingly, a girl quitting school and marrying a shady older mystery professor turns out to be a bad idea when he goes all murder on her! Whoops! Hope she didn’t fail her self-defense class! If women didn’t marry creepy older guys with shady pasts, we wouldn’t have so many Lifetime movies!
Romanced by a charismatic professor, a college girl quits school to run away with and marry him. While her mother tries to convince her to come home, she slowly learns that he is a controlling husband with a shady past… and soon realizes that if she were to leave him he would kill her.
The important thing is Deadly Lessons is directed by David DeCoteau! Yes, A Talking Cat!?! David DeCoteau! Huzzah! It’s written by Eve Holdway and Taj Nagaoka, and is the only credit for either of them. Deadly Lessons stars Christie Burson (Dirty Little Trick), Sammi Barber (The Haunted House on Kirby Road), Ryan Scott Greene (Vendetta: No Conscience, No Mercy), James Dean (Witness Protection ), Cedric De Souza (Holiday in Handcuffs), and Katherine Slingsby (Bridal Wave)
Deadly Lessons premieres Saturday, February 25th on Lifetime!
I can’t believe you were infidel, in suburbia, with that guy!
Lifetime has so many movies in its backlog it is doubling up again, we got a two-fer premier this week, with Infidelity in Suburbia followed by Deadly Lessons! Infidelity in Suburbia takes the whole bored housewife having an affair thing to a whole new level, when the guy decides to build a secret prison inside her own house to kidnap her! Holy cats, that’s some nice morphing of various Lifetime plots into something ridiculous. If the film is as fun as the premise, it will be pretty cool!
Infidelity in Suburbia follows the story of Laura (Sarah Butler) who decides to take on a home renovation project to cure her boredom while her husband is at work and son is at school. Sparks fly between her and her contractor Vince (Marcus Rosner), and he soon fulfills Laura’s forbidden dreams. But when Laura decides to end their affair, Vince’s builds a secret room in Laura’s home where he can keep her all to himself.
Infidelity in Suburbia stars Sarah Butler (Nightmare Nurse), Marcus Rosner (Framed for Murder: A Fixer Upper Mystery), Peter Benson (Britney Ever After), Arlo Hajdu (The Flash), Miranda Frigon (Stonados), and Jay Hindle (Hearts of Christmas) It’s written by Christie Will (Baby Boot Camp, but she also directed A Cookie Cutter Christmas) and is directed by David Winning (Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie)
Infidelity in Suburbia premieres Saturday, February 25th on Lifetime!
2016 Screenplay by Michael Jelenic and James Tucker
Directed by Rick Morales
I was super excited to hear about Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders when it was announced that Adam West and Burt Ward would be reprising their roles from the 1960s series, even more so with Julie Newmar also around as Catwoman. As you have probably guessed from the large amount of campy super hero flicks TarsTarkas.NET has covered over the years, the television series that inspired many of them is a big deal, so any thing that means more of the cool magic that it was is great. It turned out better than I imagined, it’s one of the best animated films DC has put out, and they have put out a few good ones! (and a few….not so good ones!)
The film is jam packed with the flavor of the original series – wild alliteration, pop-up word balloons during action scenes, random labels on object, Robin declaring “Holy ______” every few seconds, all sorts of random bat gadgets, Batman and Robin figuring out the most obscure Riddler clues in the universe, and the ever-present incompetent police force. There are cameos from almost the entire era, really the only thing missing was Batgirl.
Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson’s quiet evening at home is interrupted with the big four villains – Joker, Catwoman, Riddler, and Penguin – hijack a television show just so they can leave a Riddler clue behind. From that, Batman and robin deduce that the criminals are out to steal a duplicating ray, while Catwoman schemes to turn Batman just slightly evil so they can be united in love. But her plan fails and after one thing leads to another suddenly everyone is fighting in outer space to stop the villain’s schemes of duplicating more Earths so each one can control a Gotham City. Read more…
aka 迎春閣之風波 aka Ying Chun Ge Zhi Fengbo 1973 Written by King Hu and Wong Chung
Directed by King Hu
King Hu’s works are amazing, and he is one of the most influential artists in martial arts film history. That being said, The Fate of Lee Khan was made after Dragon Gate Inn and A Touch of Zen, and the biggest flaw is it just doesn’t live up to those classics. It is a good story, full of intrigue and great choreography. But it just feels smaller scale and lacks some of the smaller character moments that a smaller story should have. Lee Khan just doesn’t seem as dangerous as he should be considering he is supposed to be this big ultimate villain. The best way to describe him would be as the mediocre villain of the second film in a super hero series who bridges the gap before the more memorable villain in the third film.
The word is The Fate of Lee Khan was one of two productions of King Hu’s under his company, Gam Chuen (the other was The Valiant Ones). The films were to be distributed by Golden Harvest, who would gain the rights to Lee Khan while Hu would own The Valiant Ones. As usual, Hu’s films fell behind in filming, Lee Khan was barely finished by 1973, while The Valiant Ones wasn’t completed until 1975, and Gam Chuen then petered out.
It is a time when the Mongols have overstayed their welcome and General Zhu leads an army to fight them, spies are rife and everyone is paranoid. Lee Khan is a local overseer of two provinces and prince of the royal family, with his sister Lee Wan-Er as his loyal assistant. He found a member of General Zhu’s army to sell out and leaves to personally receive a map of battle plans. But this leads to opportunity and intrigue at a local inn, as these matters often do…
Madam Wan Ren-Mi (Li Li-Hua) – Runs the Ying Chun Inn, where Lee Khan is rumored to be staying at when meeting with a traitor that works for rebels. Is friends with benefits of the local governor Magistrate Ha Ra-Ku (Wu Jia-Xiang). Hires the waitresses who are all members of the rebellion, as is she.
Lee Khan (Tien Feng) – Leaves the safety of his palace to personally receive a map of the battle plans of the rebel general (the spy would only deliver to him personally) The map is legit but it is also an opportunity to attack Lee Khan out of the safety of his palace and numerous guards Tien Feng excelled at authoritative villainous roles in the 50s-80s, appearing in films such as Black Falcon, One-Armed Swordsman, Vengeance of a Snowgirl, King Boxer, Fist of Fury, By the 90s he had reduced his screen appearances, though still managed to appear in Green Snake and Sex and Zen.
Lee Wan-Er (Hsu Feng) – The sister of Lee Khan. Deadly villainess in her own right, including much more of a violent streak of wanting others to die for their crimes than Lee Khan. She seems to be the only person he cares about besides himself.
Black Peony (Angela Mao Ying) – Waitress dressed in black clothes. A former infamous pickpocket, Black Peony has mended her ways (sort of) by helping the Chinese resistance to the Mongol rule, and becomes a waitress at the Ying Chun Inn. I think she’s the only waitress whose character gets a name spoken on screen. Had her character been born rich, she’d probably be robbing from her rich friends and distributing it to the poor while wearing a super hero mask. For more Angela Mao films TarsTarkas.NET has covered, click on her tag.
Blue Waitress (Helen Ma Hoi-Lun) – A former bandit whose past makes her a poor choice as a waitress, but a good choice for someone you need in a fight. For more Helen Ma films TarsTarkas.NET has covered, click on her tag.
Red Waitress (Woo Gam) – A former street performer who now works for the rebels, she is adept with dealing with customers who have naughty hands than the other girls. For more Woo Gam films TarsTarkas.NET has covered, click on her tag.
Green Waitress (Seung-Goon Yin-Ngai) – The fourth waitress, she’s given the least amount of characterization except her character is hinted to be a con artist.
Wang Chun (Pai Ying) – A rebel sent to help, pretends to be Madam Wan’s cousin helping look over the books. Pai Ying was also in Dragon Gate Inn, A Touch of Zen, and Lady Whirlwind
Sha Yuan-San (Han Ying-Chieh) – Wandering singer and annoying rebel sent to help pretends to be Wang Chun’s assistant. Another King Hu regular who was in Come Drink with Me, Dragon Gate Inn, A Touch of Zen, and the non-King Hu film Sword of Emei.
Tsao Yu-Kun (Roy Chiao Hung) – High-ranking bodyguard to Lee Khan but also plotting against him. Roy Chiao had a prolific career including The Dark Heroine Muk Lan-Fa, Enter the Dragon, and Bloodsport.
Lifetime is bringing the porn biopics to tv, a genre I didn’t think they would start covering, but here we are. From Straight A’s to XXX(originally titled just From Straight A’s, but Lifetime knows that we want XXX!) is the story of a college student who made extra money as a porn star until everyone on campus found out and then started acting like jerks who totally weren’t downloading all her films the second they came out. Let’s see, she’s Miriam Weeks who worked under the stage name Belle Knox, now let’s totally innocently Google her name at work and OMG I’m totally fired again! Damn you, Lifetime! Somehow this is your fault and not my own…
Inspired by a true story, “From Straight A’s to XXX” tells the story of Miriam Weeks (Haley Pullos, “General Hospital”), a college freshman at Duke University who turns to porn in order to pay for her tuition expenses. But when a male student discovers who she is and exposes her secret, Miriam is faced with an onslaught of death threats and cyber-bullying. The film also stars Judd Nelson (“The Breakfast Club”), Sasha Clements (“Majority Rules!”) and Jessica Lu (“Awkward”).
Huh, I guess it isn’t another Vin Diesel XXX movie. That’s a positive in my book!
From Straight A’s to XXX stars Haley Pullos(The Misadventures of the Dunderheads), Judd Nelson(The Transformers: The Movie), Imali Perera(November Christmas), Peter Graham-Gaudreau(Pumpkin Pie Wars), Garrett Black(Distortion), Jessica Lu(Skirtchasers), and Jacky Lai(Silent Hill: Revelation 3D). It’s directed by Vanessa Parise (#PopFan) and written by Anne-Marie Hess (Britney Ever After)
From Straight A’s to XXX premieres Saturday, February 11th on Lifetime!
And by High School Lover, we mean he’s a dad worried because a creepy older famous guy is dating his high school daughter! Can James Franco stop this true love where age is just a number before things get 1000% Lifetime? Probably not too quickly, or there wouldn’t be a movie!
James Franco (“Why Him?”) returns to Lifetime to executive produce and star in the new thriller, “High School Lover” (#HighSchoolLover), featuring Paulina Singer (“Orange is the New Black”), Francois Arnaud (“The Borgias”) and Julia Jones (“Longmire”).
When 17-year-old Kelly (Singer) hits the town for a wild time with her friends, she isn’t expecting to meet Hollywood’s hottest “it” guy, Christian Booth (Arnaud). After a night of intense flirting, Kelly assumes that she’ll never hear from him again, but she is happily surprised when Christian begins texting her. Despite their age difference, Kelly is smitten with her new crush. Even after Kelly’s father, Rick (Franco), discovers their relationship and forbids Kelly from seeing Christian, nothing will stop her from being with him. But soon Kelly discovers that Christian’s adoration is turning into a dangerous obsession as the truth about his past slowly comes to light. Produced by Elysium Bandini Studios, Franco executives produces along with Vince Jolivette. The script is written by Amber Coney (“Mother, May I Sleep with Danger?”) and Jessica Dube (Smack) and Jerell Rosales (“Life in Black and White”) directs the movie.
Thanks to that blurb for doing most of my job with the cast listing, though I’ll also point out that Lana Condor from the latest X-Men movie is listed in the cast as well. Franco was last doing Lifetime stuff with that lesbian vampire remake of Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? that I should probably get around to finishing the review of. I swear I’ll do the big list of Lifetime films that I need to cover soon!
High School Lover premieres Saturday, February 4th on Lifetime!