Sharktopus vs Pteracuda poster!

Sharktopus vs Pteracuda poster

See Sharktopus vs Pteracuda on August 2nd on SyFy! The second film in the Sharktopus trilogy, to be followed by Sharktopus vs. Mermantula

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda – Sunday, August 2 at 9PM – In this new Roger Corman movie, the child of Sharktopus goes toe-to-toe with the latest science experiment “Pteracuda” – half Pteradactyl, half Barracuda – in a battle for monster supremacy. A production of New Horizons Pictures, the movie stars Robert Carradine (Django Unchained) and Katie Savoy (Living with Models).

And, yes, Conan O’Brien is in it!

via IGN

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 22, 2014 at 3:17 pm

Categories: Movie News   Tags: , , , , ,

Links in the sky keep on burning!

Wednesday Addams ready to burn Addams Family Values
It’s time again to drop a bunch of links to other awesome things because recognizing good writing is good, and also awesome:

**Lexi Alexander continues her fight to get studios to hire more women directos with Hire These Women!

**Filmi-Contrast covers the Bengali film Baghini!

**The Horn Section reviews 1943′s The Heat’s On!

**FourDK ain’t afraid of no ghosts at The Ghost Hill!

**Pre-Code meets The Boy Friend!

**Podcast on Fire drops Taiwan Noir Episode 13!

**The Other Films gets wrapped up by Tentacles!

**Once Upon a Dream By Johanna Fateman

**Sun Ra and The Blues Project Do Batman and Robin – Did you know there was a Batman album done by the core of Sun Ra’s Arkestra and Al Kooper’s Blues Project? Well, click the link and scope the mp3s, buddy!

**‘We Have Always Fought’: Challenging the ‘Women, Cattle and Slaves’ Narrative
By Kameron Hurley

**Here is a proposal for a Sonic the Hedgehog movie by Ken Penders, along with accompanying video. They are…awful. Just awful.

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 21, 2014 at 1:09 pm

Categories: Movie News   Tags:

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1 (Review)

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1
Based on the comic book by Frank Miller and Klaus Janson
Written by Bob Goodman
Characters created by Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Jerry Robinson, and John Sikela
Directed by Jay Oliva

Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1
The Dark Knight Returns is one of those comics that literally changed everything. With four issues, Batman was transformed as a character from the 1960s camp into a gritty dark hero that echoed parts of the original tales. It became one of the main influences of the Tim Burton Batman film, which further popularized the darker, more serious Batman that survives to this day in how the character is interpreted. The comic series is considered one of the best comics of all time. Fair warning, we pretty much go over every detail of the movie and comic, so SPOILERS!

With how high of a regard The Dark Knight Returns is held, it is only natural that there would be a cartoon movie adaption of it at some point. It became a thing both anticipated and feared (especially after a brief bit was used in an episode of The New Batman Adventures), and was finally announced as a two-parter DC animated movie. As the DC Animated films are hit or miss, there is always room to worry. Miller’s other work Batman: Year One had been successfully adapted in 2011, sticking closely to the comic (almost too closely), and DKR follows the same pattern, following the original story, even being split into two films to better incorporate it all.
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1
The series is four separate stories that are part of a larger tale, the stories divided into the two films (with bits shoved both ways to make things flow better). This structure works better in comic format, but leaves DKR Part 1 feeling a bit anticlimactic, especially with the teaser that comes much earlier in the comics.

Let’s focus more now on how things are in the comic/movies for The Dark Knight Returns and less on whatever nutty thing Frank Miller has said or published recently. The Dark Knight Returns becomes a snapshot into the values of Frank Miller at the time of publication, and events that happen subsequent to the production of the comic have no bearing on how the comic was created, though they have the same ultimate origins.
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1
DKR is less of a fascist tale and more of a skewering of those that have power. Organized institutions are represented at weak and buffoonish, and all sides of the political spectrum are skewered via the constant media commentary. The television news framing devices is one of the most brilliant parts of The Dark Knight Returns, actually preceding the 24 hour news cycle, but still capturing the highs and lows of idiotic news programming. The Mayor of Gotham is a endless stream of no actions ever, constantly diverting questions on issues by saying he’s still weighing opinions. He literally only makes one real decision in the entire film, and it proves to be a fatally stupid one. He’s replaced by a mayor just as spineless, but thinner, showing that the new mayor can at least make a decision to skip the extra slice of cake.
Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1
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Posted by Tars Tarkas -  at 7:44 am

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The Choking Game brings the squeeze to Lifetime!

The Choking Game Lifetime

This sucks, let’s go to that Rainbow Party instead!

Remember when you were a kid and your teachers would warn you of the dangers of kids who were choking themselves to get high, even though you never knew anyone who was doing that and it just seemed like a weird thing to mention? And then you saw the movie Rising Sun and choking got even more confusing? Well, I guess it really happens, at least to the point where someone wrote a book about it, which Lifetime snapped up to make into their latest original movie – The Choking Game! Unlike a real game, there isn’t a princess in another castle, only death. DEATH!!!

Based on the book “Choke” by Diana Lopez. Taryn finds herself gaining much-desired popularity when the charismatic new girl at school claims her as a “breath sister,” teaching Taryn about the Choking Game. Hiding it from her ever-present mother, best friend, and teachers, Taryn sees choking as a way to build self-control and grab an easy high. But, as the stakes are raised through each subsequent ‘flight’, Taryn has no idea that she is actually putting her life in extreme danger.

Yes, choking is a game so sophisticated, it has it’s own lingo. Be a breath sister and fly today! Or just buy some crazy glue and a paper bag, it’s probably safer.

The Choking Game stars Freya Tingley, Peri Gilpin, Alex Steele, Ray Galletti, Ferron Guerreiro, Kristen Harris, and Mitch Ainley. It’s directed by Lane Shefter Bishop (who directed some softcore films under the name Cameron Davis), and written by Jen Klein, who is significant to us because she cowrote Bratz: Passion 4 Fashion – Diamondz! We are so excited, we can hardly catch our breath!

The Choking Game premieres Saturday, July 26th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 20, 2014 at 11:07 pm

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The Last Slumber Party – New RiffTrax VOD!

Just when you thought you had finally finished with all that slumber party nonsense, you get a call that you need to go to one last slumber party. The nerve! But don’t fret, because someone else is mad about slumber parties and is unleashing their anger in slasher killer form. Luckily, the RiffTrax guys are here to help ease the pain of the low-budgets 80s slasher The Last Slumber Party. Just remember that if you hate most of the characters, many of them will die horrible deaths so it will all be good! Remember: Live life and party. Slumber Party!

Buy it now on!

Slumber parties! What could be more terrifying?? Thrill as a rented movie is watched! Chill as a boy someone likes is called and hung up on!! Squirm as ice cream is devoured directly from the container!!!

OK, maybe slumber parties are not actually that terrifying. The one featured in The Last Slumber Party, despite the presence of a scalpel toting psychopath is no exception to this rule. This is because any hint of terror that might arise from the idea of high schoolers being murdered is completely negated by the VHS video quality, amateur sound, and baffling dialogue such as “Who’d you think it was, Shelley Hack?”

It’s the last day of school, and one thing is on everyone’s mind: whether or not they are talking to Shelley Hack. In order to solve this problem, they gather at a friend’s house, where the oblivious parents fail to notice that the boys sneaking in and out of the house are in fact d-bags. All is good and stupid until an escaped lobotomy patient shows up and instantly becomes the most intelligent, well-mannered character in the movie.

The fashion is 80s, the soundtrack is hair metal, the poster on the wall is inexplicably of Sesame Street, and the Shelley Hack references are more abundant than every other RiffTrax we’ve ever done combined. Slip into your footie pajamas and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for The Last Slumber Party!

Last Slumber Party RiffTrax

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 18, 2014 at 3:48 pm

Categories: RiffTrax   Tags:

Sexy Wives Sindrome (Review)

Sexy Wives Sindrome

Sexy Wife Sindrome
Written by Steve Goldenberg
Directed by Jim Wynorski (as Sam Pepperman)

Sexy Wife Sindrome

Let’s do all the Seven Deadly Sindromes!

Sexy Wives Sindrome IS a Jim Wynorski joint, baby! So it follows all the Wynorski touches that make his films unique, from camera angles that peer around womens’ bustlines to characters acknowledging the camera. That also means we got a whole host of Roobie Breastnut songs making up the soundtrack (and, yes, Pussy Pussy Bang Bang IS in the film!) Additional music is also done by Chuck Cirino, as some of the scenes that use a score to help enhance the mood or are more serious just wouldn’t play right with Roobie Breastnut songs blaring.

The core of Sexy Wives Sindrome is relationship therapists who conduct unorthodox fantasy solutions to couples’ problems, which usually involve a lot of sex, and usually involve the therapist herself in a lot of the sex. You would think this would be a gross violation of ethical practices and cause a whole host of legal issues, but it turns out things are even more weird and bizarre than you could possibly imagine, yet the solution also resolves all the lingering problems. I think it’s hilarious how everything worked out in the end, and how the conclusion basically destroys any long ethical argument I could bring up, hence there won’t really be one for this review. I know, I know, you are all disappointed. You better hope the next one doesn’t have a game-changing twist!

Sexy Wife Sindrome

What do you mean there isn’t a fireplace, only a big microwave???

There is plenty of pseudopsychological mumbo jumbo going on to justify some of the relationship issues. It basically boils down to couples loving each other and trying to keep things interesting for each other. You could argue that letting other people into relationships can potentially cause lots of drama, but let’s face it, these couples are all pretty much swingers anyway, so they know the score.
Sexy Wife Sindrome

Coffee is the real sexy sindrome!

The title Sexy Wives Sindrome comes from the made up syndrome discovered by one of the characters about how men become afraid of their attractive wives because they are so attractive and the men just can’t handle the possibility of losing them. None of that is really worked into the relationships in the film, but it’s the title so it’s important.

But enough about your Psych 101 class, it’s time for the Roll Call!

Sexy Wife Sindrome

Side effects include anal black tar discharge???

Dr. Anderson / Jane Grabowski (Julie K. Smith) – Please don’t reveal the secret of Dr. Anderson really being Jane Grabowski! Okay, the secret’s out. Not like it wasn’t 100% obvious, Dr. Anderson didn’t even have a first name!! Works at the sex clinic, has a libido set to ludicrous speed!
Nurse Kayla Belmont (Cindy Lucas) – Nurse and general office organizer at the clinic, spends the majority of her time having sex with the patients or the doctors.
Mark Reed (Frankie Cullen) – Married to Diana, a boring stockbroker who loves his wife, so of course they are having problems.
Diana Reed (Erika Jordan) – Married to Mark, worried about her relationship because Mark really loves her.
Professor Jones (Michael Swan) – Owns the clinic where all the on getting gets on. Wrote the book on SWS – Sexy Wives Sindrome – thus the title pun is his fault! Get him!
Shug Fisher (Tony Marino) – Oh, that guy.
Lucy Saunders (Angie Savage) – One of the wives looking to improve her marriage at the clinic. Gets into fights with Mandy, because, why not?
Mandy (Rebecca Love) – One of the wives looking to improve her marriage at the clinic. Is using a polar bear fantasy, according to the doctors. We actually see her having sex, but no polar bear is involved. Hmmm…
John Saunders (TJ Cummings) – Lucy’s husband who is helping improve his marriage at the clinic.
Mrs. Berg (Glori-Anne Gilbert) – Wife helping to improve her marriage with blindfold narration roleplay.
Mr. Berg (Frank Harper) - Husband helping to improve his marriage with blindfold narration roleplay.
Carol McGuire (Diana Terranova) – Murdered woman seen only in flashbacks.
Scuzzy Guy (G. Gordon Baer) – Hides in the bushes spying on the Reeds, he works for Professor Jones.

Sexy Wife Sindrome

Which one is the sexy wife, and which one is the sindrome?

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Posted by Tars Tarkas -  at 7:37 am

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