[adrotate banner=”1″]Sirius is an upcoming documentary about that six inch alien corspe they found in Chile a few months ago. You remember that, right? It was in all the papers, all the blogs, all the internets. It shocked the world because it proved we are not alone. That there was life on other planets and that life was very small and came to Earth to hang out in the desert of Chile. Or perhaps there was no news on this, because it is a complete hoax. No, it must be a conspiracy. A conspiracy of people owned by the six inch aliens who are attempting to cover up any evidence of their existance and their fondness for hanging out in the desert.
When you think about it, it all makes sense. What is in the desert? Area 51! What is 5+1? 6! 6 inch alien! What else is in the desert? Burning Man! Now, I’m not saying that Burning Man is a conspiracy cooked up to smuggle aliens into Earth’s cities, but there isn’t any evidence to the contrary, so draw your own conclusions, and think twice before taking those “drugs” your partying friend offers you, because they are just alien mind control jizz pills.
The film, called “Sirius,” will also depict how readily available forms of alternative energy technology are what extraterrestrials may be using to travel here from the cosmically improbable distances between their home world and ours.
[adrotate banner=”1″]Here is something awesome that I stumbled across on YouTube, filled with puppets kung fuing the living crap out of each other. This has the highest bodycount of a puppet show I’ve ever seen. Basically, it’s like The Lost Crystal meets Chinese Opera meets kung fu. What is below is clips of episodes 39 and 40 (the latest two, I believe), but there are plenty of full episodes online at this tudou account. This is Pili Bing Xian:Conquest of the Middle Land (問鼎天下) The blog pilicreateworld has a ton of information about this series. In Chinese.
[adrotate banner=”1″]We all love Nic Cage, and now thanks to the magic of eBay, you can buy a photo from 1870 of a guy who looks like Nic Cage, head slightly warped. You know you want it.
From the description: (The Thanatos Archive watermark is not on the original image)
Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like
Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of
walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents
himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might
be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.
This is not a trick photo of any kind and has not been manipulated
in Photoshop or any other graphics program. It’s an original photo
of a man who lived in Bristol, TN sometime around the Civil War.
I’ve had a lot of questions asking where I purchased this. As followers
of my website know, I collect antique memorial photography –
images of dead people – from the 1800s. This photo was found in
the very back of album that contained an unusual number of
Civil War era death portraits (which is why I purchased it). All of
the other people in the album, living and dead, were identified
by name – this man was not.
Photographer is Professor G.B. Smith. A contact of mine forwarded
this interesting article (link) about the photographer, Smith. Turns
out he was a confederate Civil War prisoner of war photographer.
Guaranteed to be an original 1860s-70s photograph and not
a modern reproduction, copy or photo manipulation.
[adrotate banner=”1″]The Chronicles of Rick Roll shows that just when you think mankind might be moving on to a better world, you’re wrong and hell and we’re all gonna die! 2012 and the end can’t get here soon enough! Nuke it all, nuke everyone, from A to Z. From Aaron A. Aaronson to Zachary Z. Zzaaronson. Nuke the world, and nuke it again. Just to make sure.
The Chronicles of Rick Roll is a concept trailer where someone who got a hold of Tosh.0’s email contact list got a bunch of viral video people together to make a horrible film, this concept trailer being used to get more money. I was sad that I recognized so many faces in the trailer, but when i saw the expanded cast list I became happy that I recognized so few! So hooray for me! But BOOOOO! for everyone, because The Chronicles of Rick Roll will probably get the $8 they need to turn this film into a reality. Where it will be released on YouTube. And get less views than a kitten playing with string.
Cast includes: Antoine Dodson (Bed Intruder), The Double Rainbow guy, Ben Schultz (Leeroy Jenkins), Stephen Quire (Freakout Kid), Mark Hicks (Afro Ninja), Catie Wayne (Boxxy), Matt Sloan & Aaron Yonda (Chad Vader), Tay Zonday (Chocolate Rain), Michael Copper (Copper Cab), David DeVore (David After Dentist), Judson Laipply (Evolution of Dance), and Ted Williams (Man with the Golden Voice)
[adrotate banner=”1″]The Life Zone is the latest magnum opus from New Jersey state Senate candidate and ex-judge Kenneth Del Vecchio (O.B.A.M. Nude), this time it is a cross between Saw, The Twilight Zone, and mental illness. Real mental illness, not a movie called “Mental Illness”.
The plot involves three pregnant women kidnapped from abortion clinics who wake up in a jail, the only other person there is their jailer Robert Loggia who shows up via video, and a female obstetrician who will deliver their babies whether they want to or not. The women are forced to discuss their pregnancies as an “abortion thinktank”, while at night they are tortured by bad dreams – along with the doctor, who has flashbacks to her own marriage dissolving after she was barren.
As detailed in this review from NJ.com, eventually 2 of the women accept their pregnancies and become pro-life, while the last one tries to force a miscarriage. At the end, she’s forced to deliver twins, while the other two women each get one baby.
Then things get really fucked up:
Later, Staci wakes up. The two new mothers are no longer captives, they’ve presumably ascended to heaven with their babies. It’s revealed all along the women had been in Purgatory, after having died on the operating table of abortion clinics. But because Staci attempted to miscarry even after a second chance at motherhood, and because she never accepted the error of her ways until she experienced the physical joy of giving birth, of seeing her children for the first time, she will be doomed to eternity in Hell.
Loggia is Satan and he informs Staci she will spend all eternity in a cycle of pregnancy and childbirth and Dr. Wise will forever be her doctor, as the movie’s final twist plays out: Wise too will spend eternity in Hell. She was so weak she committed suicide when her marriage collapsed and must suffer the fate of forever bringing life into the world, endlessly having to appreciate what she did not value on Earth.
That’s right, have an abortion, and Satan will make sure you are continually raped and forced to give birth to babies for eternity, no matter what you want, because that’s all you women are good for. Satan is pro-life, and unless you learn that getting raped and being forced to have a baby is totally awesome, Satan will rape you forever because you didn’t learn that lesson. Rape is moral, because if you accept this rape you enjoy its blessing (a baby) and go to Heaven. This film is remarkably pro-Satan, and the only escape from Satan is to accept what he is doing is right.
In case you haven’t figured out what a nut Del Vecchio is, check out his take on the message of the film:
Del Vecchio added, though he was quick to note he still felt the film’s presentation of the issues was balanced. “I think the audience will walk away not knowing what the filmmaker’s position is, it gives both sides of the coin.”
I’d hate to see what he thought a one-sided anti-choice movie was, but it would probably just be Del Vecchio stabbing people with a coat hanger.