Justice League Dark (Review)

Justice League Dark

Justice League Dark
Story by J.M. DeMatteis and Ernie Altbacker
Screenplay by Ernie Altbacker
Directed by Jay Oliva

Justice League Dark
The animated world is in danger once again (stupid world, stop being in danger!) and only the Justice League can save them. No, not the normal Justice League, this is Justice League Dark! And Batman for some reason. That reason is money. Keep in mind this is Justice League Dark, not Justice League After Dark, that’s the porn version debuting on Cinemax next year! Just kidding. Or am I? Yes.

Now let’s get to an actual review and not string of consciousness awful jokes. Justice League Dark follows the loose continuity the animated films have had since they got rebooted with Flashpoint/Justice League: War, including voices (and Matt Ryan from the Constantine tv series voices John Constantine here!) This time the team isn’t able to handle the threat, as the threat is supernatural in nature, so we need a different kind of hero. Supernatural heroes for a supernatural threat. Mainly John Constantine (of Keanu Reeves movie fame) and Zatanna, the magician lady I’m vaguely familiar with. There are others heroes like Deadman, who I hadn’t really known much about, but a ghost as a super hero does make a certain amount of sense. Maybe Casper should stop being so friendly and start taking down crime syndicates! This time, the ghosts are busting YOU!
Justice League Dark
I enjoyed the change of focus of heroes despite Batman being included so he could grunt every time something spooky happens. (And he does, Gotham City must be showing a lot of Home Improvement reruns) Usually movies like this have a regular guy character who all the characters that are steeped into the universe can explain things too (and thus explain to the audience!), but as Batman already knows a lot of things, he doesn’t really fit that well in the role.
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The Life Zone – anti-abortion pro-rape pro-Satan propoganda!

The Life Zone is the latest magnum opus from New Jersey state Senate candidate and ex-judge Kenneth Del Vecchio (O.B.A.M. Nude), this time it is a cross between Saw, The Twilight Zone, and mental illness. Real mental illness, not a movie called “Mental Illness”.

The plot involves three pregnant women kidnapped from abortion clinics who wake up in a jail, the only other person there is their jailer Robert Loggia who shows up via video, and a female obstetrician who will deliver their babies whether they want to or not. The women are forced to discuss their pregnancies as an “abortion thinktank”, while at night they are tortured by bad dreams – along with the doctor, who has flashbacks to her own marriage dissolving after she was barren.

As detailed in this review from NJ.com, eventually 2 of the women accept their pregnancies and become pro-life, while the last one tries to force a miscarriage. At the end, she’s forced to deliver twins, while the other two women each get one baby.

Then things get really fucked up:

Later, Staci wakes up. The two new mothers are no longer captives, they’ve presumably ascended to heaven with their babies. It’s revealed all along the women had been in Purgatory, after having died on the operating table of abortion clinics. But because Staci attempted to miscarry even after a second chance at motherhood, and because she never accepted the error of her ways until she experienced the physical joy of giving birth, of seeing her children for the first time, she will be doomed to eternity in Hell.

Loggia is Satan and he informs Staci she will spend all eternity in a cycle of pregnancy and childbirth and Dr. Wise will forever be her doctor, as the movie’s final twist plays out: Wise too will spend eternity in Hell. She was so weak she committed suicide when her marriage collapsed and must suffer the fate of forever bringing life into the world, endlessly having to appreciate what she did not value on Earth.

That’s right, have an abortion, and Satan will make sure you are continually raped and forced to give birth to babies for eternity, no matter what you want, because that’s all you women are good for. Satan is pro-life, and unless you learn that getting raped and being forced to have a baby is totally awesome, Satan will rape you forever because you didn’t learn that lesson. Rape is moral, because if you accept this rape you enjoy its blessing (a baby) and go to Heaven. This film is remarkably pro-Satan, and the only escape from Satan is to accept what he is doing is right.

In case you haven’t figured out what a nut Del Vecchio is, check out his take on the message of the film:

Del Vecchio added, though he was quick to note he still felt the film’s presentation of the issues was balanced. “I think the audience will walk away not knowing what the filmmaker’s position is, it gives both sides of the coin.”

I’d hate to see what he thought a one-sided anti-choice movie was, but it would probably just be Del Vecchio stabbing people with a coat hanger.