Let's not get Linked Behind this time

Chopper comic

Here is the news that happened when I was busy strutting or whatever it is I do when I’m not updating TarsTarkas.NET:

**The comic Chopper – which reimagines The Legend of Sleepy Hollow as a headless biker – got some webisodes that served as a prequel, and they’ve been used to springboard a movie adaptation. Actors Tyler Mane and Andrew Bryniarski from the webisodes are set to return, and comic writer Martin Shapiro will write the script. You can watch the First Episode here

If this sounds vaguely familiar, you might be thinking of the Kolchak: The Night Stalker episode about a headless biker, also called Chopper. Or maybe the episode of The Real Ghostbusters called The Headless Motorcyclist.

**Rick Yancey’s short story When First We Were Gods is getting filmed. Aron Eli Coleite will adapt the tale about wealthy immortals and a scheme for a rich man to kill his immortal wife and replace her with his mortal mistress (giving her the immortality.) Music video and commercial director Daniel Askill will direct.

**The 2000 A.D comic Stronghold comes closer to reality after three years on the backburner, with Stellan Skarsgard and Douglas Booth signed on as leads. Paul Finch created the Stronghold comic, about knights vs zombies, and he wrote the script. Jason Kingsley directs.

Ranulf and his team of heroic knights have just conquered the land of Wales. On their way back to the castle they call home, they happen upon an unforeseen enemy – one that never fixed on battling, the undead. Seems the Welsh have been conquered and killed, but the enemy has risen again as zombies!

**The cast for Monuments Men is awesome. Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray, Jean Dujardin, John Goodman, Bob Balaban, and Hugh Bonneville are signed up so far for George Clooney’s latest flick, about a group of people who steal artworks from nazi Germany before Hitler can destroy them. It’s based on Robert M. Edsel’s book, and you can read about the real Monuments Men here.

**Nic Cage is in the business of making bad films again as he’s set to star in the Left Behind remake. Arclight Films is behind this latest franchise reboot. The original trilogy starred controversial banana enthusiast Kirk Cameron, as is based on the best selling series of books that are in now way incredibly awful. Vic Armstrong, a legendary stunt performer, is signed on to direct. This will be Vic Armstrong’s second feature direction after Dolph Lundgren’s Army of One.

**IMDB Top 250 in 2 1/2 Minutes
Let’s just ignore the politics of using the IMDB top 250 as a measure of anything and enjoy the editing.

**The giant monster comic Enormous will get moviefied as well, with monster-experienced director Andre Ovredal signed on to helm the project. He directed Troll Hunter, which was pretty darn good. The comic was created and written by Tim Daniel and drawn by Mehdi Cheggour, and just moved from Image comics to 21 Ink Publishing. The prior work focused on a woman who saved lost children in a world where ecological chaos unleashes giant beasts that destroy civilization. More about Enormous at this link.

**Presented without comment:
Wizard of Oz Kill

**Speaking of The Wizard of Oz, if you love biting political mocking of the pundit-filled wasteland that is modern media and politics, you will love Frank Conniff’s The Wonderful Pundits of Oz! Fellow MST3K alum J. Elvis Weinstein is also a voice.

**Internet buddy Vargo/Martin Schneider demanded answers from Robert Zemeckis about Mars Needs Moms, prompting Zemeckis to heartily defend his awful film. scoring a mention in Entertainment Weekly.

**At Can’t Stop the Movies, Andrew gets Ruby Sparksed up!

**Nude for Satan is the Greatest Movie EVER! on the Greatest Movie EVER podcast!

**Xsmarkthespot talks about Cloud Atlas!

**FourDK’s jungle has a Three Supermen infestation! Someone get the can of Raid!

**Fist of B-List vs Black Samurai!

**Green People’s Soup knows the truth about Disney and Jesus!

**The Vault of Buncheness battles The Atomic Brain!

**Music video of the week:

Nicolas Cage is a Vampire photo

We all love Nic Cage, and now thanks to the magic of eBay, you can buy a photo from 1870 of a guy who looks like Nic Cage, head slightly warped. You know you want it.

From the description:
(The Thanatos Archive watermark is not on the original image)

Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like
Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it’s him and that he is some sort of
walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents
himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might
be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.

This is not a trick photo of any kind and has not been manipulated
in Photoshop or any other graphics program. It’s an original photo
of a man who lived in Bristol, TN sometime around the Civil War.

I’ve had a lot of questions asking where I purchased this. As followers
of my website know, I collect antique memorial photography –
images of dead people – from the 1800s. This photo was found in
the very back of album that contained an unusual number of
Civil War era death portraits (which is why I purchased it). All of
the other people in the album, living and dead, were identified
by name – this man was not.

Photographer is Professor G.B. Smith. A contact of mine forwarded
this interesting article (link) about the photographer, Smith. Turns
out he was a confederate Civil War prisoner of war photographer.

Guaranteed to be an original 1860s-70s photograph and not
a modern reproduction, copy or photo manipulation.

Nicholas Cage Vampire

Awesome Nicholas Cage quote

Here is an awesome quote about Nicholas Cage that someone put on Wikipedia:

I sincereley think there is too much emphasis in this wikipedia page as I read it now, on Mr. Nicholas Cage’s personal life to the detriment of his prefoessional one, also with too much OPINION from the writer re. description of the movies that Mr. Nicholas Cage ever played in (they, the authors of the current article, in its present form, keep talking about different types of personality traits of the various characters that Mr. Cage ever portaryed, and , yes, I agree that Mr. Nicholas Cage is an extraordinarily versatile chracter actor, in fact a true star, yet THIS is NOT all that he is FROM A PROFESSIONAL POINT OF VIWE, as he himself has ANNOUNCED that he may be interested in pursuing other things, plus what the authors wrote there is truly subjective and, for example, brings more detriment than good towards the way the movie “Mathstick Men” is described, which was in fact a true TEAM effort, and I am CERTAIN that Mr. Nicholage Cage himself would have been happier if the authors instead of focusing so much on the “character” piece would have focused more on the “TEAM” thema, since MOST certainly Mr. Cage is and has always been a very conscientius team player, but that is not all, it looks like, if his legal probation problems are successfully resolved, he may still have quite a bit of potential to actually become a team LEADER in any other professional projects he may chose to pursue in the near future. And “THE LORD OF WAR” was NOT about that Ukrainian Mechanic, however funny that character was, that was a true existentialist movie in the way that some Sartre or Kafka books are, and Mr. Nicholas Cage MASTERFULLY palyed that character, which just SHOWS the breadth and depth of not only his talent as a COMPLEX and COMPLETE dramatic actor, but it also shows how WELL READ he is, how actually EDUCATED and CULTURED he is, and, MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL, how CAPABLE is he, when PROPERLY DIRECTED and within the RIGHT TEAM, to be able to ETHICALLY and MASTERFULLY USE HIS RICH GENERAL CULTURE KNOWLEDGE IN ORDER TO TRAMSMIT TO US all FEELINGS of LONELINESS, yet also OF MORAL RESPONSIBILITY AS WELL that we all carry as human beings who wish to be ETHICAL first of all towards OURSELVES and TOWARDS SOVIETY at large, which also thus informs me, via the types of ROLES that Mr. Nicholas Cage chose to PLAY, PLUS the WAY HE PLAYED THEM, how HIGH of a CALIBER HIS OWN MORAL CHARACTER IS as a PERSON, and if it was I who would have the miraculous chance to be subpoenad as a WITNESS OF CHARACTER on that upcoming May 31st 2011, Court Hearing that Mr. Cage has to go through (yet another stress for him…and I truly hope HE KNOWS who and how to ask for HELP if he needs it…never forgetting that ther is always 911, as a last resort for everything while on continental North-America, and 112, while in Europe, up to the borders of the former USSR), so if it was I testifying on behalf of Mr. Nicholas Cage, I would literally by both WORDS and GESTURE, even body language SICERELY and AUTHENTICALLY PLEAD towards the Honorable Court in front of which that hearing is to take place in order to have them BETTER understand THE GOOD MORAL CHARACTER of Mr. Nicholas Cage, actually rated the HIGHEST GRADE 6 (SIX) on the Scientific Valid Kohlberg Scale (Kohlberg being a psychologist who described the development of moral charcter in human beings, and I agree with that scale and with Mr. Kohlberg’s baselike concept while he devised that scale, since I have seen it EMPIRICALLY validated in PRACTICE, both professional and personal, in front of my own eyes OVER and OVER again, with NO FAIL, with NO EXCEPTION, in that SENSE IT IS EMPIRICALLY VALIDATED and VALIDATE-able SCALE).

I plead of YOU, all current contributors of wikipedia, who may be acqainted better than I with the court system of the California county where that hearing is to be held, to actually PRINT OUT and TAKE in person or MAIL either to the assigned Justice presiding over that hearing a copy of my commentary which conatin some parts which may be helpful for Mr. Nicholas Cage in taht specific hearing, or to the current ATTORNEY, even to the Public Prosecutor (District Attorney ?) of Mr. Nicholas Cage’s current pending case, or to all of these actually, depending on whom anyone may know, even to Mr. Cage HIMSELF if anybody knows of someone who knows him personally, a copy of this commentary. PLEASE do it for me, because I spent most valuable time of my life to write it, while I have OTHER things on my mind, plsu it is just past midnight and I have a wirk day tomorrow so I must go to bed, so PLEASE JUST SEND IT TO WHOM it should be sent: Mr. Nicholas Cage, Mr. Cage’s attorney, the Hon/ District Court of California Justice, and the Distric Attorney for that case. THANK YOU and literally G-d bless the person who may actually be doing thiss for both my sake and the sake of actor Nicholas Cage, MOST VALUABLE MORAL CHARCTER GUIDE-like LEADER for humans from the Realist Modernist latter part of the XX-th century to the JUST AS REALIST post- TRAUMATIC beginning of our XXI-th century, with the MAJOR trauma for most humankind being OF COURSE the Sept. 11, 2001 VILE ATACK ON the UNITED STATES of AMERICA. I sign, Eugen Craciun, M.D. European General Practitioner and specialist in General Psychiatry (pen name: Rudolph Aspirant) 18.may.2011, A.D., 0:12, Copenhagen time zone (talk) 22:19, 17 May 2011 (UTC) P.S. sorry for any spelling mistakes, but it is really late and I am tired, plsu today was the National Holiday of the Kingdom of Norway, so I was there to admire the popular costumes and flags, which are TRULY something special, if Mr. Cage would ever wish to visit Norway, i sincerely would recommend it to him as MUCH more therapeutic actually than any other place in France or the Swiss Alps, I even have a recommended villa he could lease, plsu I also wish to thank him personally for the charitabloe participation he had in some charity event in my country of origin Romania, yet that participation DID IN NO WAY INFLUENCE MY SCIENTIFIC EXPERT OPINION OF MR NICHOLAS CAGE’s character. E.C. aka R.A. (talk) 22:19, 17 May 2011 (UTC)

The Sorcerer’s Apprentice the Movie

Yes, there is a live action The Sorcerer’s Apprentice movie coming out, starring Nicholas Cage, set in modern day New York City. Yep, the story of the guy who had his brooms do his chores that was in Fantasia. Modern day. Nic Cage. And Alfred Molina as an evil sorcerer. So we got Ghost Rider vs. Dr. Octopus here! Maybe if Nic Cage wears Mickey Mouse ears through the whole movie it will be cool. Jay Baruchel stars as Cage’s Apprentice, Teresa Palmer plays the Apprentice’s love interest, and Jon Turteltaub plays someone. No word on who plays the broom.
re: Slashfilm

Nicholas Cage is Know-1-Ng

Or Know1ng or Knowing or whatever. Numbers in the title isn’t cool.

From the director of I, Robot, comes an intense thriller.

In 1959, a class of students bury a time capsule containing drawings of what the children believe the future will look like.

One of these drawings turns out to be a cryptic log of every major disaster for the next 50 years.