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Chopper comic

Here is the news that happened when I was busy strutting or whatever it is I do when I’m not updating TarsTarkas.NET:

**The comic Chopper – which reimagines The Legend of Sleepy Hollow as a headless biker – got some webisodes that served as a prequel, and they’ve been used to springboard a movie adaptation. Actors Tyler Mane and Andrew Bryniarski from the webisodes are set to return, and comic writer Martin Shapiro will write the script. You can watch the First Episode here

If this sounds vaguely familiar, you might be thinking of the Kolchak: The Night Stalker episode about a headless biker, also called Chopper. Or maybe the episode of The Real Ghostbusters called The Headless Motorcyclist.

**Rick Yancey’s short story When First We Were Gods is getting filmed. Aron Eli Coleite will adapt the tale about wealthy immortals and a scheme for a rich man to kill his immortal wife and replace her with his mortal mistress (giving her the immortality.) Music video and commercial director Daniel Askill will direct.

**The 2000 A.D comic Stronghold comes closer to reality after three years on the backburner, with Stellan Skarsgard and Douglas Booth signed on as leads. Paul Finch created the Stronghold comic, about knights vs zombies, and he wrote the script. Jason Kingsley directs.

Ranulf and his team of heroic knights have just conquered the land of Wales. On their way back to the castle they call home, they happen upon an unforeseen enemy – one that never fixed on battling, the undead. Seems the Welsh have been conquered and killed, but the enemy has risen again as zombies!

**The cast for Monuments Men is awesome. Cate Blanchett, Bill Murray, Jean Dujardin, John Goodman, Bob Balaban, and Hugh Bonneville are signed up so far for George Clooney’s latest flick, about a group of people who steal artworks from nazi Germany before Hitler can destroy them. It’s based on Robert M. Edsel’s book, and you can read about the real Monuments Men here.

**Nic Cage is in the business of making bad films again as he’s set to star in the Left Behind remake. Arclight Films is behind this latest franchise reboot. The original trilogy starred controversial banana enthusiast Kirk Cameron, as is based on the best selling series of books that are in now way incredibly awful. Vic Armstrong, a legendary stunt performer, is signed on to direct. This will be Vic Armstrong’s second feature direction after Dolph Lundgren’s Army of One.

**IMDB Top 250 in 2 1/2 Minutes
Let’s just ignore the politics of using the IMDB top 250 as a measure of anything and enjoy the editing.

**The giant monster comic Enormous will get moviefied as well, with monster-experienced director Andre Ovredal signed on to helm the project. He directed Troll Hunter, which was pretty darn good. The comic was created and written by Tim Daniel and drawn by Mehdi Cheggour, and just moved from Image comics to 21 Ink Publishing. The prior work focused on a woman who saved lost children in a world where ecological chaos unleashes giant beasts that destroy civilization. More about Enormous at this link.

**Presented without comment:
Wizard of Oz Kill

**Speaking of The Wizard of Oz, if you love biting political mocking of the pundit-filled wasteland that is modern media and politics, you will love Frank Conniff’s The Wonderful Pundits of Oz! Fellow MST3K alum J. Elvis Weinstein is also a voice.

**Internet buddy Vargo/Martin Schneider demanded answers from Robert Zemeckis about Mars Needs Moms, prompting Zemeckis to heartily defend his awful film. scoring a mention in Entertainment Weekly.

**At Can’t Stop the Movies, Andrew gets Ruby Sparksed up!

**Nude for Satan is the Greatest Movie EVER! on the Greatest Movie EVER podcast!

**Xsmarkthespot talks about Cloud Atlas!

**FourDK’s jungle has a Three Supermen infestation! Someone get the can of Raid!

**Fist of B-List vs Black Samurai!

**Green People’s Soup knows the truth about Disney and Jesus!

**The Vault of Buncheness battles The Atomic Brain!

**Music video of the week:

Marvel upcoming film slate to take all your money

Marvel released updated info on their next wave of money printing devices they call movies, which will lead into Avengers 2, the film that will make so much money we’ll have to invent new types of money for it to make! Perhaps they’ll take my Schrutebucks!

First is Iron Man 3 coming out May 3, 2013. Directed by Shane Black, the story seems based on the Extremis arc from the Iron Man comics, though long-mentioned villain the Mandarin will be appearing as well. Footage from Comic-Con showed Ben Kingsley as Mandarin attacking Tony Stark’s home. Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Paul Bettany, and Jon Favreau return, along with Guy Pearce, Rebecca Hall, Ashley Hamilton, James Badge Dale, and Avengers star Cobie Smulders. There was buzz a few months ago about “Iron Patriot” armor that just turned out to be repainted War Machine armor.

Next is Thor: The Dark World on November 8, 2013. Alan Taylor is now attached to direct, and most of the cast is returning. There have been no official villain reveals, though the rumor cloud is that it will be new villains with Loki lurking around doing his Loki thing. Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Stellan Skarsgård, and Idris Elba are reprising their roles from the first film. Joshua Dallas can’t reprise Fandral due to tv commitments, but is being replaced by Zachary Levi, who was originally slated to appear in the first Thor.

Captain America: The Winder Soldier is the Captain America sequel whose title might be giving away the plot line. The original story featured the return of Cap’s sidekick Bucky as a brainwashed killer, so we’ll see if that ends up happening. One casting announcement we do have is Anthony Mackie as Sam Wilson/the Falcon, who was Cap’s sidekick for a long time in the 1970s and one of the first black superheroes. Chris Evans is returning (duh!) but besides being directed Joe and Anthony Russo and a release date of April 4, 2014, we don’t have much more information.

By far the craziest announcement was the confirmation of Guardians of the Galaxy, due on August 1, 2014. This is a different Guardians of the Galaxy team than the one I grew up with: Groot, Drax the Destroyer, Rocket Racoon, Gamorra, and Star-Lord. Though I am familiar with Drax and Gamorra from old Adam Warlock titles, the rest are new to me. Basically, Marvel is creating a $200 million film starring a raccoon and a tree fighting aliens, which will then lead into Avengers 2. Sure, I’ll play along!
Promo art for Guardians of the Galaxy:
Guardians of the Galaxy

Finally, there will also be an Ant-Man film, but beyond Edgar Wright showing off test footage, there was no real announcement of anything important about Ant-Man. But one day, there will be an Ant-Man film. And it will be triumph-ANT!

Iron Man 3 title
Thor The Dark World title
Captain America Winter Soldier title
Guardians of the Galaxy title
ant-man title

Pics via AICN

The Avengers (Review)

The Avengers

Written by Zak Penn and Joss Whedon
Based on characters created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby
Directed by Joss Whedon

ATTENTION: THIS REVIEW HAS SPOILERS for everyone, so don’t read this if you haven’t seen it or care about being spoiled and all that jazz. Because there is really no way to get into the meat of the issue without discussing everything. And just to keep people from getting too upset, I’ll throw everything under the Roll Call so you have to click a button to read it….

Tony Stark / Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) – Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist with a suit of armor and a billion quips. I was concerned his personality would be so large it would loom over the others, but he fits in nicely and has good chemistry with Steve Rogers.
Steve Rogers / Captain America (Chris Evans) – The World War II star-spangled man with the plan, frozen in the ice for 70 years to awaken in modern day. His experience helps turn him into the natural leader of the group
Bruce Banner / The Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) – Genius scientist and expert on gamma radiation who is turned into a giant green rage monster due to an experiment gone wrong. Has learned to live with his condition. Then Nick Fury’s team comes calling needing some help…
Thor (Chris Hemsworth) – Norse God of Thunder and resident of Asgard, and brother of Loki. Has learned much about being responsible, but must still prevent his brother from causing problems on Earth.
Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) – Former assassin turned SHIELD agent. Expert at fighting and interrogation, and at having regrets that she wants to atone for.
Clint Barton / Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) – Expert marksman and SHIELD agent, and has the mutant power to have archery bows spontaneously generate in boxes of weapons.
Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) – The dude in charge of SHIELD who keeps popping up during closing credits, and brings together all of the above to deal with Loki and his whole alien invasion scheme. But was bringing together all these people a good idea?
Loki (Tom Hiddleston) – Adoptive brother of Thor and currently preparing to help aliens invade Earth. A crazed egomaniac wh delights in causing discord among the team.

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