Battle Beasts

Battle Beast Files – Laser Beasts, Part 2

Who are the Battle Beasts? Let’s get to know each and every one personally!
Laser Beasts, Part II!

Laser Beasts were the next line introduced, which were pretty much only released in Japan (with a few making it to the States or Europe really briefly.) As the propaganda says: “The Laser Beast army is a group of 36 warriors who made Tigerburn their great leader. They develop Battle Machines and Powerful Weapons using modern science!” The Lasers seemed to function as an Evil Horde-style group of second villains with their own motivations, except they weren’t really that evil, just a really old race that got sick of the upstarts screwing around with their planet. Perhaps you shouldn’t have gone underground or where ever you were, Laser Beasts.

	Number: 89 Name: Brown Lion Position: Land Offensive Captain Weapon Name: Super Commotion Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Lion (Tan w/ Red Armor) One of Tigerburn’s most loyal friends, Brown Lion commands respect by friends and foes alike. Brown Lion is the ancestor of the House of White Leo, from which Pirate Lion is a member. Members of the House are forbidden to engage in battle, so Pirate Lion and Brown Lion can only stare at each other from across the battlefield, or else they forfeit their right to the royal house, and are stripped of their honor, their weapons, and even their Element Symbol. Brown Lion sees in Pirate Lion the fighting spirit of his own grandfather, Grand Lion, one of the legends of the Laser Beasts, who has even passed into Battle Beast mythology as a great warrior about which little is known. Grand Lion was the last known Beast to carry the power Sunburst, until Pirate Lion recently emerged with the power. Brown Lion has a custom shield battler car and defensive shield with his crest on it, but is seldom seen using them in battle, preferring to be on foot and ready to rumble. His Super Commotion Laser causes several types of damage mixed together, allowing it to penetrate many types of armor. Battle Beasts fear Brown Lion, intimidation from knowing they are facing him has won the Laser Beasts battles without firing a shot.
	Number: 90 Name: Grencats Position: Special Organization Unit (Shield Battler 6) Weapon Name: Iron Claw Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Snow Leopard (White w/ Blue Armor) As one of the Shield Battlers, Grencats commands respect. The elite fighting squad is infamous, and has turned the tide of many battles. Their rapid-fire movements and coordination swarms over Battle Beasts driving slower Tiger Chariots, giving much damage to the Battle Beasts’ armored units. Grencats is proud of being a member of such an elite squad, to the point of even not associating with non-Shield Battlers. Losing his hand in battle to Eager Beaver was a tough blow, especially since Eager Beaver wasn’t even on a vehicle at the time. Replacing it with some yellow claws, he longs for the day he can have revenge, sinking them deep into Eager Beaver’s chest. Grencats spends all his spare time practicing his Shield Battler maneuvers, to the point where leader Strong Hurricane has to remind him to rest and relax. Grencats’ former friends note how he has changed so much, becoming a stranger. Designed the Grencats emblem on his shield himself.
	Number: 91 Name: Fight Horn Position: Special Organization Unit (Shield Battler 6) Weapon Name: Tear Hunting Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Elk (Brown w/ Green Armor) A Proud Beast, Fight Horn is proud of his magnificent horns. He constantly preens and sharpens them, polishing them to a shine. Fight Horn spends more time on his appearance than he does keeping up with his fighting ability. Luckily for him, he is a natural at both, and is poured into his Shield Battler. Fight Horn is noted for trapping 50 Beasts single-handedly with his Shield Battler during the battle of Wood Pass. After numerous costly defeats of his forces, Deer Stalker has vowed to take him down, the two have met several times, but always end in a draw. Deer Stalker said he would decorate his Chariot with Fight Horn’s antlers, while Fight Horn desires Deer Stalker’s drill hand to trade to Anarchy for a new mirror. Fight Horn’s shield design was created for him by the famous Laser Beast artist Metalfeather, who did not go into suspended animation and now is lost to the ages. Fight Horn once spent six days in the bathroom preening, not for a special occasion, but just because he wanted to look his best. His striving towards excellence also follows into his hand to hand combat styling, which resemble breakdancing in the fluid movements.
	Number: 92 Name: Hustlebear Position: Land Offensive Unit Weapon Name: Strong Claw Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Bear (Black w/ Maroon Armor) One of Tigerburn’s best men, Hustlebear is a fierce fighter who dreams of one day uniting all the Bear Beasts into a single unit, regardless of affiliation. Unfortunately, his dreams may not come to pass, as Hustlebear isn’t the most personable character, remaining aloof and quiet in company. Is from the northern regions, and specializes in arctic combat, earning him several enemies such as Pugnacious Penguin. His weapon is solar powered, due to Hustlebear’s environmental passion, but can be in a disadvantage during the several months of darkness periods in the polar regions. Hustlebear recently found out that Shool wasn’t killed, and is plotting against Tigerburn with Skull Grotess, but is being chased by several of Grotess’s goons in an attempt to silence him, permanently. The chase of Hustlebear has been noticed by Run Amok Duck and his men, as Hustlebear attempts to make it through the country of Tel Es Sawan alive.
	Number: 93 Name: Battle Fennec Position: Special Organization Unit (Shield Battler 6) Weapon Name: Trick Super Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Fennec Fox (Brown w/ Black Armor) A member of the elite Shield Battlers squad, Battle Fennec is a strong warrior who is glad to be part of such an honored unit. He modified his Shield Battler himself, boosting the speed in sacrifice of more armor. The newest member of the squad, replacing the fallen Golden Claw, who was ambushed by Bludgeoning Bulldog and some of his cadets. Battle Fennec beat out Jeerer Monkey for the spot on the squad, who has become resentful. Fennec can be a bit of a hothead, and is usually racing or spending time trying to enhance the speed of his Battler. His Trick Super Laser causes those who have been hit by it to see multiple images of their attackers, providing extra cover as his victims go after the wrong image. Battle Fennec wears special modified armor parts that enhance the effect; to the victim it looks like a kaleidoscope is flying up. Battle Fennec also attempts to create his own specialized energy drinks, but most of his concoctions are undrinkable, some are even dangerous.
	Number: 94 Name: Killer Hound Position: Special Organization Unit Vice-Captain (Shield Battler 6) Weapon Name: Hound Bio Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Collie (Tan w/ Blue Armor) Killer Hound is on a mission: marry Lassie. It doesn’t matter that Lassie is a fictional character, that they are on Lassie number 10 or something, and that some Lassies are dudes, Killer Hound is obsessed. He modified his television to receive transmissions from the far away planet of Earth, just to keep updated on the latest Lassie news. Killer Hound also maintains one of the biggest Lassie fan sites on the net, and his enthusiasm for Lassie knows no bounds. His drive to impress Lassie pushes Killer Hound to the limit, making him a better warrior and fighter. Strong Hurricane tolerates the obsession for this reason. Killer Hound got his name from his mentor, Killer Hound, who was also not a hound but a Scottie Dog. The name Killer Hound has been passed down for hundreds of years, started with the original Killer Hound, a Basset Hound who was one of the greatest Laser Beasts of old. He fought mysterious forces that threatened Planet Beast, the opponents have passed into legend and there is no record of who they were or what happened to them after their defeat. Killer Hound’s Hound Bio Laser Weapon blasts the victim with a type of rabies that makes them attack their own allies, this rabies can only be cured after many weeks of treatment, so even victims who survive getting hit are forced out of the fight for months at a time. Killer Hound is secretly building a rocket ship for a clandestine trip to Earth.
	Number: 95 Name: Dragon Seahorn Position: Underwater Construction Unit Weapon Name: Drill Turning Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Narwhal (Gray w/ Green Armor) Dragon Seahorn fights for aquatic rights! Whether destroying fishing ships or modifying secret bases to run energy efficient with no toxic runoffs, Dragon Seahorn is a tireless worker out to improve the planet. Dragon Seahorn’s passion was one of the influences for Tigerburn to strike out and try to reclaim Planet Beast after it was devastated in the Great War. Dragon Seahorn is one of the most passionate followers of Tigerburn due to his support of his cause. Zariganian is beginning to grow tired of Dragon Seahorn’s non-stop modifications to the secret bases, as well as his plundering of a Battle Beast oil field only to shut it off to never be used. Zariganian spoiled Dragon Seahorn’s recent attempts to synthesis more efficient biodiesel from seaweed, secretly spiking the mixture in retaliation. Dragon Seahorn is too focused on his work to pay attention to the bigger picture, not realizing the forces swirling around him. Dragon Seahorn is famous in the Laser Beasts circles for attacking three different Kingdoms simultaneously while confused Battle Beast squadrons ended up inflicting heavy friendly fire casualties. The resulting fallout caused Pirate Lion to retool the entire incident response protocols for the entire Beast Army. Recently his shield has gone missing…
	Number: 96 Name: Strong Hurricane Position: Special Organization Unit Captain (Shield Battler 6) Weapon Name: Power Blaster Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Horned Owl (Brown w/ Olive Armor) Strong Hurricane is the leader of the Shield Battler 6. A wise commander and experienced warrior, Strong Hurricane has seen much more action than most Beasts. Strong Hurricane developed tactics over the years of speed and surprise, forming the Shield Battler Group to aid in swift victory. He formulated the perfect squadron size (six) and many of the tactics used to help his group win engagements far more rapidly than would be possible on foot. The Shield Battler 6 is the most decorated unit in the Laser Beast army, turning more defeats into victories than records are able to keep track of. The only constant of the Shield Battlers over the years, as many members have come and gone, either promoted or lost in the line of duty. Strong Hurricane predicts he will die of old age piloting his battler into another mission, and keep on fighting long after he’s dead. Strong Hurricane is a proud owl, and is dismayed at some of the reckless actions his fellow owls Knight Owl and Snowy Owl have done. He feels he must redeem owlkind by besting them in battle, but so far both have eluded him. Knight Owl feels that Strong Hurricane’s relentless hunting of him is eroding his willpower to resist the darkness, and is debating whether to go into hiding to to face him outright, with Knight Owl’s reckless behavior leaning him to the latter. Pirate Lion has responded to the Shield Battler problem with development of special teams each assigned to take down a specific member of the Shield Battler 6, and Knight Owl has a free slot as captain of the team to get Strong Hurricane if he wants it. Strong Hurricane also senses that Skull Grotess is up to something, and is suspicious of mysterious new orders from him to immediately ship out to a far away area where no Laser Beast base is.
	Number: 97 Name: Sea Panic Position: Marine Offensive Unit Weapon Name: Fish Gobble Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Baleen Whale (Gray w/ Yellow Armor) Sea Panic is one of the strongest fighters of all the Beasts. He has brute strength that has yet to meet it’s match, as well as knowledge of tactics that keep him from becoming overwhelmed. Even with all that, Sea Panic prefers to spend his days idling in the ocean relaxing to the sounds of whale tunes than to involve himself in any disputes. It was with great reluctance that he was dragged into the battle to reclaim Planet Beast from the Battle Beasts, and he has yet to regain his fighting spirit. Only his loyalty to Tigerburn made him return from his self-imposed exile in the ocean. Sea Panic’s long listens to whale song allow him to get all sorts of news from across the planet faster than traditional networks or even the internet. He has developed a friendship with Rainbow Sam because of his information, and trades tales with the parrot to give him information to sing to his cetacean brethren. Sea Panic’s Fish Gobble Laser filters plankton with ease and floats it right into Sea Panic’s waiting mouth, thus not bothering him to have to move to where the food is. This allows more time for listening to the whale song, as well as getting a few quick bites in the middle of a fight. Plankton floating in mid-air was at first worrisome to the Battle Beasts, and now the site alone let’s them know Sea Panic is nearby, their fear of facing him sometimes does more damage that Sea Panic can do to them himself. Pirate Lion is rumored to have some whales of his own being trained, and they may soon divide the whale song community into two separate camps. Sea Panic has no time to investigate those tales today, as he has a bigger problem, whale songs have reported odd troop movements for the Laser Beasts while Tigerburn is away from the capital on business.
	Number: 98 Name: Puzzlecolor Position: Special Information Unit Weapon Name: Hide Color Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Three-Horned Chameleon (Green w/ Blue Armor) Now you see him. Now you don’t. Now you’ve just been stabbed in the back by him! Puzzlecolor is a stealth fighter and information officer, one so good at being hidden his existence is only known to a few key people. Even Tigerburn is unaware, as are most of his supporters and many of Skull Grotess’s. Rainbow Sam and Sea Panic know of tales of an invisible stalker, one who’s movements don’t match up with Delta Chameleon’s. Delta is aware that he has competition, and is tracking Puzzlecolor as we speak. Their fight could be the most epic ever on Planet Beast, but no one would be able to enjoy it, as they’d all be invisible the entire time. What a waste! Delta’s goons are attempting to get more information about Puzzlecolor, and they’ve learned that he has his own custom Shield Battler and Shield, and his Hide Color Laser both fires invisible disintigration rays, but also can be tuned to make targets he hits turn invisible for a short time, such as the Shield Battler and Shield. Delta is trying to create his own shield to help with defense, but so far Rocky Rhino has been able to smash all of the prototypes, as they are not strong enough yet. Puzzlecolor is trained in several combat styles, but prefers to use Crane-style kung fu to dispatch enemies in close quarters fighting, and bombs if he has advanced planning. Delta Chameleon no longer rides in vehicles for fear they will explode, and eyes every garbage can, every tree, every rock with suspicion. Puzzlecolor knows Delta plays unfairly also, and has become paranoid as well. If one doesn’t kill the other, they both risk going insane.
	Number: 99 Name: Mantfrenzy Position: Special Organization Unit (Shield Battler 6) Weapon Name: Spy Commando Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Snow Monkey (White w/ Dark Blue Armor) Mantfrenzy longs for the cool, unspoiled snow-covered Yutoranta Mountains of his youth, imagine his surprise when he found a ski resort had been build on his family’s land! Several dozen explosions later, and Torrential Tapir’s Ice Pleasures Resort was a pile of rubble. Vowing revenge, Torrential Tapir has threatened to “devour the inner soul of Mantfrenzy, leaving only an empty husk of a Beast as a walking dead reminder of ultimate vengeance.” Ha ha, good luck with that, Torrential Tapir, for Mantfrenzy is a member of the Shield Battler 6, making him an elite specialist in combat. Plus that means he won’t be fighting alone, Torrential Tapir will have to take down the entire squad, something armies of Battle Beasts have failed to do before. Mantfrenzy prefers a solitary life, but recognizes the importance of working in a team to achieve a difficult goal, in this case the elimination of the Battle Beasts as rulers of Planet Beast, and the return of the Laser Beasts to power. However, he is saddened by the massive damage to the environment, especially his beloved Yutoranta regions. Mantfrenzy has dedicated his life to restoring areas back to their natural habitat, and is prepared to do it again once the war of reclamation ends.
	Number: 100 Name: Scopecougar Position: Special Staff Officer Weapon Name: Roast Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Cougar (Tan w/ Blue Armor) Scopecougar is a ruthless assassin who never misses a shot. He’s the best marksman of all the Laser Beasts, and even designs his own modified guns with longer range and better accuracy. Scopecougar’s ruthless efficiency impresses Skull Grotess, who has made him a very generous offer for his support in a power struggle. Scopecougar has accepted the offer and is already composing a list of those that will need elimination. Scopecougar has mysteriously picked up a British accent, despite never have being on Earth, or even hearing of Great Britain. Scopecougar is known far and wide on Planet Beast due to his hunting skills, he’s hunted all types of Beasts. Usually, Scopecougar gives them warning and a three minute head start, then moves in. Toying with his prey gives Scopecougar joy, but not as completely as the feelings of pleasure when he’s making a kill. Scopecougar has become addicted to the feeling of having power over others, the power to decide who lives and who dies. His Roast Laser has the farthest range of any Laser Beast weapon, and can fire a ray so powerful it completely cooks its target at thirty miles out, with pinpoint accuracy. Scopecougar’s Shield Battler is emblazoned with his family crest; he likes to brag it is the oldest noble family on Planet Beast, despite little evidence.

Laser Beasts, Part I

Laser Beasts, Part III

Special Thanks:
White Leo’s Site
Beastformers.com
Master List (Aratak’s Plastic Warriors)

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - December 30, 2006 at 12:31 pm

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Battle Beast Files – Laser Beasts, Part 1

Who are the Battle Beasts? Let’s get to know each and every one personally!

Laser Beasts, Part I!

	Number: 77 Name: Blue Eagle Position: Aviation Offensive Leader Weapon Name: Blue Sea Jet Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Eagle (Gray w/ Green Armor) The first of the Laser Beasts! Blue Eagle begins the Laser Beast tradition of reusing animals, as he becomes Eagle Number Two behind Colonel Bird. He’s a different species, so it’s all good. Well, not that good, as Blue Eagle isn’t really blue! The true story is that Blue Eagle is an obsessive fan of the Smurfs, and regularly dyes his feathers blue. When not on battle duty, he dresses in full Smurf costume, and calls himself Eagle Smurf. Blue Eagle is the Laser Beast they don’t talk about when they get together to go hang out. Blue Eagle’s custom built mushroom house will be completed in six months, and he’s told his fellow Beasts he’s actively looking for his own Smurfette. The Blue Sea Jet Laser shoots concentrated water blasts (so it’s deadly against Fire-aligned Beasts) and also has a setting to shoot blue dye to change the skin of targets. Once, accidentally shot Skull Grotess in the butt, which resulted in Blue Eagle getting beaten for thirteen days straight until the dye wore off.
	Number: 78 Name: Spark Shark Position: Marine Offensive Captain Weapon Name: Black Super Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Icthyosaur (Brown w/ Green Armor) Spark Shark is no shark, he’s an Icthyosaur! The Sharks of the ancient times. Actually, probably the dolphins of the ancient times. Spark Shark leads the Marine Offensive Group, who get offended by everything in the ocean. Wait, that’s not right, they are the lead fighting group for the water. This means his main rivals are Wolfgang Walrus, Run Amuck Duck, and Killer Carp. Since the Decepticon Beasts have the most water dwellers, they probably get into fights with the Marine Offensive Group all the time. Those that are still alive after the war, that is. Even the dead ones come back as ghosts, So maybe it is all of them. Spark Shark has a special hatred for Sawtooth Shark, as he exposes Spark Shark as a shark in name only. Unfortunately, Sawtooth Shark is a formidable opponent who commands legions of shark troops, all of which will oppose the Laser Beast Invasion no matter the cost, even if they lose another war with the Autobot Beasts. But, being sharks, they’ll try to lure their two enemies to destroy each other, which is fine with Spark Shark, who thinks he’ll win any battle he enters. Spark Shark’s Black Super Laser shoots Dark Matter Rays which toxicly destroys its target.
	Number: 79 Name: Sailon Position: Land Offensive Unit Weapon Name: Heavy Push Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Rhino (Gray w/ Blue Armor) Sailon is a rare species of rhino, who feels great anger that his species is threatened. That, combined with his limited rhino intelligence and eyesight, combine to form a fountain of rage that lashes out at any nearby targets, even friends if Sailon hasn’t bothered to double-check before charging. Sailon has an intense hatred for Rocky Rhino, calling him a sellout due to his spiked-mace hand. Sailon’s ultimate goal is the elimination of his rival, as well as any other large herbivore he can get his horn into! Sailon’s gun is the Heavy Push Laser, which fires rays of hands that shove people backwards. Sailon likes to push people off of the edges of cliffs with his gun, but rarely gets the chance as most Battle Beasts are not so stupid as to fight on the edge of a cliff, except Crazy Coyote, who has fallen off 2461 cliffs so far in battle.
	Number: 80 Name: Anarchy Position: Subterranean Construction Unit Weapon Name: Power Drill Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Mole (Tan w/ Salmon Armor) Anarchy stole his dress ideas from Deer Stalker, including the cool shades and drill for an arm. He altered the colors but the basic design is there. Deer Stalker was annoyed at first, but realized that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and accepted it, offering Anarchy a swift death when they meet in battle as opposed to a long one. Anarchy’s card claims he isn’t very bright, but is strong and has much endurance. The Power Drill Laser can drill through any substance, even diamond-walled cages. Anarchy claims he can shoot a hole through Wolverine’s adamantium claws, but that has never been tested, what with Wolverine being a fictional character. Anarchy’s job is to build underground bases, within which the Laser Beasts will plan their attacks upon the Battle Beasts. Anarchy also lives up to his name, and is opposed to most forms of government. He refuses to recognize any leader, and only fights with the Laser Beasts because it allows him to attack random Beasts as well as dig lots of holes. Anarchy is a supporter of Skull Grotess, and has declared himself blood enemy of the Miner Mole Clan, despite their peaceful overtures.
	Number: 81 Name: Tigerburn Position: Great Leader of Earth Weapon Name: Medical Aid Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Tiger (Yellow w/ Blue Armor) Tigerburn the Great! Tigerburn the Wise! Tigerburn the Tiger! He’s the Leader of the Laser Beasts, leading the effort to reclaim Planet Beast from descendants run amok! Tigerburn awoke from deep sleep to find that his home is overrun by Beasts who have devolved to less powerful forms and undergo constant in-fighting. Enraged that much of the beauty of his homeworld was spoiled in the numerous wars, Tigerburn got feed up with the Battle Beasts’ recklessness, and set out to try to bring them under control. Most of the Beasts had just got done fighting Transformer invaders and oppressive Decepticon-allied Beasts (and even the Decepticon alliance turned sour after a while) and were not keen on new strangers awaking and declaring themselves the new rulers of the planet. Pirate Lion reactivated his Sunburst Warrior powers and mobilized his forces to face the new threat. Much of the urge to go to war was influenced by Skull Grotess, who is secretly trying to usurp Tigerburn as leader of the Laser Beasts. This will probably eventually lead to internal civil war, especially when more Laser Beasts are activated from the underground sleeping colonies, which are scattered all over Planet Beast. There are rumors that more than just Laser Beasts sleep in the depths of the planet, waiting one day to be released from their slumber to conquest… Tigerburn’s Medical Aid Laser can heal any Beast in one shot. Tigerburn attacks with his bare hands. He’s that awesome.
	Number: 82 Name: Condorassin Position: Aviation Offensive Unit Weapon Name: Electro Shoot Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Vulture (Gray w/ Orange Armor) Condorassin is living a lie, telling everyone he’s a rare Condor, when he’s just a lowly vulture. Luckily for him, most Laser Beasts haven’t seen a condor, so he’s safe for now. Condorassin fancies himself an assassin, despite never actually killing anyone of interest. He’ll claim his victims are the “Emperor of Eras” or something, but he really just found a dead peasant and dressed him up in a robe stolen from a costume shop. Ferocious Tiger was surprised to learn that Condorassin claimed to have killed him four separate times. Tigerburn has begun to notice that Condorassin’s supposed victims keep turning up alive and well, and we can expect Condorassin to be renamed Condorholedigger soon. Condorassin has pledged to support Skull Grotess when he makes his bid for leadership of the Laser Beasts.
	Number: 83 Name: Groundwolf Position: Land Offensive Unit Weapon Name: Death Hurricane Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Wolf (Gray w/ Blue Armor) Groundwolf is an excellent tracker, who is constantly on the prowl. He tracks everything he sees, his mind constantly following every moving object within his sight range. Be it enemy Beasts, flying insects, or even leaves off of a tree, Groundwolf knows their exact locations. He’s got the OCD pretty bad. Luckily, Groundwolf is pretty well-adjusted, and doesn’t act like he’s someone odd. Groundwolf is a freak about lunar astrology, and constantly howls at the various moons of Planet Beast, sometimes in the midst of battle. The rest of the Laser Beasts don’t mind his occasional giving away of their position because he makes up for it in expert tracking. Groundwolf is a loyal supporter of Tigerburn.
	Number: 84 Name: Fly Sailor Position: Marine Offensive Unit Weapon Name: Sea Freeze Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Flying Fish (Gray w/ Mauve Armor) Fly Sailor believes himself the master of the sea and the air. He zips through the ocean at the same speed he zips through the air, not letting anyone stop him. Fly Sailor’s favorite activity is ambushing birds flying near the shore, he’s made numerous foes that way, from Savage Seagull to Storming Sandpiper. Fly Sailor has become the blood enemy of both Pitiless Pelican and Killer Carp, the former for killing his brother, and the latter for challenging his role as a master ocean fighter. Carp and Fly Sailor have fought twice so far, once in Carp’s Ghost mode, and once after he’s been returned to normal. Their battles both ended in draws, and a final duel is inevitable. Pitiless Pelican did not fare so well, but has a new plan to fly automated drone birds over the shore that are rigged to explode if attacked. Time will tell if Fly Sailor will fall for that trick. Fly Sailor is jealous of Dragon Seahorn’s Shield, and is conspiring to steal it for himself.
	Number: 85 Name: Zariganian Position: Underwater Construction Captain Weapon Name: Tri-Fri Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Crawfish (Red w/ Light Blue Armor) Zariganian is a gruff, tough construction worker who lives to build. He whips his crews into shape, and can build complex structures in a matter of hours. He has perfected techniques to shorten building time of bridges, vehicles, and temporary ground bases. Zariganian even designed a massive lobster-shaped submarine complete with giant claw weapons named the Lobster Deep. This terrified the Planet Beast Oceans until Pirate Lion lead a fleet of Shocking Sharks in a pitched battle to take it out. Five Shocking Sharks were destroyed, and many brave Beasts lost their lives. In the end, Pirate Lion succeeded in trapping the Lobster Deep in an underwater canyon, and triggered a landslide trapping it. Zariganian abandoned ship, but Pirate Lion was driven away before he could destroy the Lobster Deep. Triple Threat Snake then lead a group to try to steal the vessel for their own use, but the Laser Beasts returned shortly afterwards for their own salvage operation, and in the resulting fight, TTS and several of his Snake Warriors detonated the remaining bombs in the Lobster Deep cargo hold, destroying the vessel. Zariganian has vowed revenge, and is currently designing his new underwater vessel. Zariganian is fiercely loyal to Tigerburn.
	Number: 86 Name: Rainbow Sam Position: Special Information Chief Weapon Name: Wide Sensor Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Parrot (Red w/ Yellow Armor) Rainbow Sam is an international bird of mystery. Danger follows wherever he goes. His ability to mimic anyone’s voice comes in handy in tight situations. Rainbow Sam fancies himself a ladies’ man, though it is unknown if he is ever successful. In fact, much of Rainbow Sam’s personal life is classified. He did get into a major battle with Shool at some time in the distant past, which has caused tension to this day. Rainbow Sam’s Wide Sensor Laser enables him to tap into many different frequencies, and spy on many different Beasts at once. Pirate Lion has put a high price on his head, after Rainbow Sam stole the plans for a Battle Beast base and used them to flood the every room with raw sewage. Jaded Jag was so despaired he hid in his room for three months. Rainbow Sam’s greatest success was stealing a valuable tablet from an archaeological site, a tablet with writing even more ancient than Laser Beast Script, that has yet to be deciphered. It is rumored this tablet may date from the Ancient Elder Age, where ancestors of the Battle and Laser Beasts had a very advanced civilization that was destroyed by an unknown calamity. Rainbow Sam trusts only Tigerburn and Sea Panic.
	Number: 87 Name: Shool Position: Subterranean Construction Captain Weapon Name: Auto-Telepath Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Centipede (Gray w/ Orange Armor) Shool is an evil, evil creature. His pernicious acts are legendary across Planet Beast, only Skull Grotess pulls off acts that cause more woe. Shool’s favorite food is a fungus that grows on rotting corpses, and he always has fresh stock. Shool once killed his second in command for not attacking the enemy with everything he had, despite an easy victory. Stroking his mouth antenna like they are an old timey evil doer’s mustache, Shool likes to don a top hat and spout monologues at his enemies. Shool’s first act upon reawakening was to attack the local Battle Beast orphanage, and tie the orphans to railroad tracks, and sent a freight train toward them at high speed. Only the quick work of Brown Lion stopped this from happening, but behind the scenes actions of Skull Grotess prevented Tigerburn’s punishment from being enacted. In fact, Tigerburn is under the impression Shool has been executed, while Skull Grotess secretly is using him to build bases for the eventual coup. This was just found out by Tigerburn loyalist Hustlebear, but Shool has sent men to kill him before he reaches back home to report.
	Number: 88 Name: Brain Mouse Position: Subterranean Construction Unit Weapon Name: Dirty Bio Laser Series: Laser Beasts Species: Mouse (Gray w/ Yellow Armor) Brain Mouse is a Mad Scientist who spends much of his time running strange experiments on captured Battle Beasts. Brain Mouse’s goal is to evolve them into a Laser Beast/Battle Beast hybrid which will be the ultimate warriors. Several of Brain Mouse’s recent experiments escaped before the results could be determined, and recent reports from the countryside indicate something monstrous happened to them after escape, as smashed houses and vehicles attest. Brain Mouse is unconcerned with monsters running loose, but has a passing interest just to see the results so he can refine the next experiment. Brain Mouse is also adept at creating underground bases, as he makes underground lairs for his experiments constantly. Brain Mouse helped to create some of the stasis devices the Laser Beasts used for their suspended animation. Has a rivalry with Zariganian over who builds the best equipment and bases. Tigerburn allows this rivalry to continue, because it’s advanced the quality of both of their work. Brain Mouse despises Tigerburn for some of his noble efforts, and his refusal to allow Brain Mouse to openly continue his experiments (Brain Mouse just does them in secret), thus Brain Mouse is a loyal supporter of Skull Grotess and his attempts to take over the Laser Beasts. His Dirty Bio Laser gives each of it’s targets five random deadly diseases from a list of 287. Just be sure you don’t get the Rhinoceros Pox.

Series 3, Part II

Laser Beasts, Part II

Special Thanks:
White Leo’s Site
Beastformers.com
Master List (Aratak’s Plastic Warriors)

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 5, 2006 at 8:17 pm

Categories: Battle Beasts Tags:

Battle Beast Files – Series 3, Part 2

Who are the Battle Beasts? Let’s get to know each and every one personally!
Series 3, Part II!

	Number: 65 Name: Tanglin’ Pangolin Japanese Name: Pangol Ruler of Country: Emperor of West Yutoranta Position: Armored Soldier Weapon Name: Living Stone (Purple Mace) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 3 Species: Pangolin (Brown w/ Peach Armor) What the heck is a pangolin, you ask? Well, they are a long-tailed, scale-covered mammal having a long snout and a sticky tongue for catching and eating ants and termites. They also have armor, and can curl up into balls. Exciting stuff. Too bad I thought he was a Gila Monster as a kid. That’s still better than Pangolin. Gila Monster also sounds like someone who would be evil, like Pangolin is supposed to be. Well, Pangolin is evil, because he was imprisoned by Swiny Boar for theft wrongfully, and the experience in prison fueled his rage, so he came out a criminal and has sworn revenge. He’s already killed Swiny’s brother, Torra Boar, and as we speak is preparing his master plan of revenge. Swiny Boar better look out!
	Number: 66 Name: Slowpoke Sloth Japanese Name: Slo Ruler of Country: King of Hamanan Position: Tactics Staff Officer Weapon Name: Slo-Bar (Purple Spear) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Sloth (White w/ Olive Armor) Slo is so slooooooooooooooowwww. Riding into battle months, even years after the fact, Slowpoke Sloth is here to save the day, even if it’s thousands of days later. His weapon is the Slo-Bar, which causes his enemies to become even slower than him. It looks like a fight in the Matrix, all slo-mo, until you realize they are going full speed. Slo is still fighting the initial battle for Beast Freedom, even though the Battle Beasts are well into the Second Great War. He is a respected tactics officer, because he has lots of time to come up with strategies while trying to get to the battlefield. King of Hamanan (doo-doo da-doo-doo)
	Number: 67 Name: Ardent Aardvark Japanese Name: Earthhog Ruler of Country: Emperor of Hamanan Position: Grasslands Combatant Weapon Name: Earth Scenery (Purple Trident) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Aardvark (White w/ Orange Armor) First in the dictionary, and first in our hearts! Wait, maybe not. Weird colors, Satan-shaped weapon, just odd. Not exciting, not memorable, but somehow not terrible. Just average. Aardvark spends his days organizing his huge collection of ceramic animals. He has them displayed all over his palace. Aardvark does not fight for Planet Beast, he fights to defend his right to get more ceramic animals. This passion fuels him like no other. There will be no stopping his quest to obtain every ceramic animal that ever existed. And if he can beat up some Decepticon-allied Beasts while he’s at it, so much the better.
	Number: 68 Name: Bodacious Bovine Japanese Name: White Cow Ruler of Country: King of Erku Position: Resource Development Unit Weapon Name: Bread and Butter (Purple Scimitar) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Cow (White w/ Purple Armor) Resource Development Unit=Farmer. Cow sits at home on the farm and makes the food, while the rest of the Beasts fight. Without his efforts, the entire economy would collapse. Cow’s closest allies are Pig, Horse, Ram, and Laser Cock. Laser Cock! Hahahahahahaha! Okay, okay. Cow’s weapon is the Bread and Butter, which is pretty decent. Cow is far less lame than he could be, considering he’s just a freaking cow. Kudos for him, he gets knocked up a notch because he refuses to suck! Cow enjoys writing in notebooks about a fantasy world he created in his head, but refuses to publish it or share it with anyone. His obsession with writing has kept him from doing anything outside of work or fighting besides writing.
	Number: 69 Name: Zealot Zebra Japanese Name: Zebra-Ball Ruler of Country: King of Jonston Position: Grasslands Staff Officer Weapon Name: Super Zebra (Purple Spear/Sword) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Zebra (White w/ Purple and Gray Armor) Zebra has got to be the most battle damaged Beast. He’s got a sword for an arm. His other arm appears to be robotic except for the hand. He’s got some sort of black pipe in his stomach. His left leg looks robotic except for the hoof. He must have gotten into a tangle with Pirate Lion or something. Perhaps some Beasts decided to make him dinner. Zebra isn’t going to take that lightly, so he busted out a kegload of butt-kicking and fought his way free, despite missing most of his limbs. That alone makes Zebra a crazed fighter. You don’t want to mess with this guy. In fact, stay away from him. His robot parts might make him crazy. ED-209 crazy. One software bug and he’ll go bonkers, blasting away anyone and everyone, with his real mind trapped in the body of a murderous machine.
	Number: 70 Name: Harrier Hawk Japanese Name: Eagle Killer Ruler of Country: King of Nirmudo Position: Sky Maneuvers Soldier Weapon Name: Skeleton Killer (Purple Sword) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 3 Species: Hawk (Gray w/ Aqua Armor) Hawk is one of the Beasts I remember most, not because he’s extra cool, but because my Hawk is extra chewed. An unfortunate encounter with a puppy resulted in Harrier Hawk missing three limbs and a wing. His lone arm was still able to carry his weapon (until the weapon literally fell apart recently) and he still has his rub. He’s since been replaced, but I still have the older one, who will probably be used in some sort of customization soon. Hawk’s weapon is the Skeleton Killer. Now, you may not be aware, but Planet Beast has an area where Skeletons of the Dead roam the countryside looking for victims to join them. The Kingdom of Nirmudo is especially infected by them, and Hawk is their main line of defense. The fact that he joined the Decepticon faction is a result of his years of killing skeletons by the boatfull. He’s become bloodlusted (or bonelusted) and must attack, attack, attack. Hawk is expected to switch sides to the Autobots were they looked to be wiped out, as then he’s have a more enemies to kill, the Decepticons.
	Number: 71 Name: Diving Duckbill Japanese Name: Duck Diver Ruler of Country: Emperor of Lapol Position: Underwater Probe Unit Weapon Name: Aqua Barrier (Purple Serrated Halberd) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Platypus (Gray w/ Brown Armor) Underwater Probe Unit? How scandalous! Seriously, Platypus was one of my favorites, as playtpuses are one of my favorites. He just looks neat. Platypus grew up on the streets. His mother died when he was a young bill, and he never knew his father. He’d been fighting ever since he could clench his fists, punching his way out of his egg. He was a notorious trouble-maker on the streets, well known among law enforcement, until a fateful day when Planet Beast was invaded. Platypus took up arms to protect himself from occupiers, but soon grew to like the new-found respect he got from being a freedom fighter, and he became more involved in the underground movement against the Decepticons. Platypus soon was leading troops into battle, and scoring many effective raids against the enemy. He was hard to hunt down, and at one point was the third most wanted rebel leader after Pirate Lion and Tiger. Platypus’s Ghost Brigade constantly strained the Decepticon pipelines, and tied up resources in fruitless searches for him and his men. Platypus was present at the final battle between the Autobot Beasts and their Decepticon Enemies, and helped Pirate Lion meet his mortal enemy Gruesome Gator. Platypus fought Armored Armadillo in an epic fight at the same time Gator and Lion had their last duel. Emerging victorious, he now leads the very country he grew up in as an orphan, and is a big supporter of social programs to prevent kids from having lives as hard as his was.
	Number: 72 Name: Crooked Crow Japanese Name: Crowmax Ruler of Country: Emperor of Nupal Position: Air Staff Officer Weapon Name: Big Hook (Purple Man-Catcher) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 3 Species: Crow (Black w/ Blue-Green Armor) Crow is a plague on Planet Beast. He sows the seeds of war wherever he treads. He plays both sides, and makes his fortune in weapon sales and military industries. Peace means no profits, and no food. For Crow also feasts on the dead. A recently fought battlefield is a buffet to Crow. His Hook weapon is a scythe of doom, accurately representing his effect upon the planet. Crow cannot be stopped by normal means. He somehow escaped the fate of many of his evil brethren during the Final Battle, and is still causing trouble to this day. Crow has several mortal enemies, but none can reach his remote mountain fortress, Castle Crow. Crow leads a group known as the Dirty Birds. His Number Two is Bionical Buzzard, and membership includes Vultures, Blue Jays, Condors, Rocs, and even an evil Robin. Crow’s team is the current number two threat to Planet Beast, behind the Laser Beasts and just before the Reforming Decepticon Beast Army.
	Number: 73 Name: Frenzied Flamingo Japanese Name: Mingo Kid Ruler of Country: Emperor of Heles Position: Air Combat Unit Weapon Name: Performancer (Purple Spear) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Flamingo (Pink w/ Blue Armor) No one can stop the Mingo Kid! He’s the greatest sharpshooter in Heles, and is aiming to be the best on Planet Beast. He slices, he dices, he makes julian fries. The Mingo Kid is a one man army. Mingo Kid fancies himself an outlaw, despite hardly breaking any laws in his young life. He hasn’t even jaywalked. Mingo Kid grew up in the final days of the Decepticon Occupation, so he has only a few memories of fighting them, the rest of his short life has been spent living in freedom and rebuilding his planet. He became Emperor of Heles after a tornament to fill the empty Emperor’s seat, and claimed the throne after a quick battle where he defeated thirteen other Beasts while standing on one leg. The Mingo Kid is currently looking for a sidekick for some troublemaking, applicants are encouraged to visit the Emperor’s Palace in Heles in person to apply.
	Number: 74 Name: Fleet-Footed Antelope Japanese Name: Little Serow Ruler of Country: King of Parmira Position: Land Combatant Weapon Name: Serow Carbine (Purple Spear/Rifle) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Antelope (Tan w/ Red Armor) Antelope my ruby red eye, this guy is a goat, pure and simple. Whatever the case, Little Serow likes to name himself after influential people in order to make himself feel important. That’s hardly necessary, as LS has the only gun available to the original Battle Beasts. This makes him a fierce opponent, even if he seems to only be using the weapon as a spear by only using the bayonet. Maybe LS is searching for the fabled Lost Treasure of the Bullet. Instead of visiting Panda for some gunpowder, he’s too busy strutting his stuff. The Laser Beasts and their laser guns will show Little Serow the true meaning of firepower.
	Number: 75 Name: Pugnacious Penguin Japanese Name: Peguinis Ruler of Country: Emperor of Jonston Position: Ice Field Combatant Weapon Name: Freeze Dryer (Purple Spear) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Penguin (Black and White w/ Blue Armor) Penguin may be short, but he is mighty. Penguin’s Freeze Dryer Spear leaves his enemies cold. Decepticons better carry some de-icer with them. Penguin’s nickname is Jack Frost, as his frosty attacks are some of the most fearful events to happen in the arctic region. His short statue allows him unparalleled ability to sneak into enemy bases. Penguin’s long march against the enemy paid off when they were driven from the planet. His new march against the Laser Beasts has just begun, but one can be sure that Penguin will not stop marching until he reaches his goal, the freedom of Planet Beast. Penguin is so obsessed with his goals that he has no outside hobbies or interests, and spends every second commited to his battle work.
	Number: 76 Name: Ossified Orangutan Japanese Name: Udan Ruler of Country: Emperor of Iriano Position: Tactics Staff Officer Weapon Name: Jungle Spear (Purple Broad-Tipped Spear) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Orangutan (Brown w/ Green Armor) Having one of the worst limb losses and subsequent entire artificial arm replacement, Orang is famous for being the “one-armed Ape.” Orang is a former head of a cola company, and still obsessively drinks Grape Soda by the 2-liter bottle-full. He is known to charge into battle with his spear in one hand, and a keg of Grape Ape Soda in the other. Orang is known as a gentle giant, but when he is roused for battle, he is one of the fiercest fighters out there. Orang and Bongo have teamed up to search for the missing war hero Bonobo, who disappeared on a dangerous mission years ago. It is believed he was captured by the enemy, transported to a strange land, and then escaped and is living in the wild trying to return home.

Series 3, Part I

Laser Beasts, Part I

Special Thanks:
White Leo’s Site
Beastformers.com
Master List (Aratak’s Plastic Warriors)

Battle Beast Files – Series 3, Part 1

Who are the Battle Beasts? Let’s get to know each and every one personally!
Series 3, Part I!

	Number: 53 Name: Panzer Panda Japanese Name: Strong Panda Ruler of Country: King of East Yutoranta Position: Rescue/Relief Combatant Weapon Name: Strong Aid (Gray Machete) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Panda (Black and White w/ Red Armor) Panda is the doctor of the Beasts. Please call him Dr. Strong Panda, or Dr. P for short. Panda plays the role of Ratchet in Transformers, being the medic. Notice how the villains never have anyone who repairs people, but the Good Guys always have someone. Dr. P is a popular Beast, because he’s Panda-riffic! As the kIng of East Yutoranta, he defends East Yutoranta from all those other Yutorantas, like North Yutoranta, South-West Yutoranta, and Smorth Yutoranta (home of the Smurfs.) Dr. P’s medical style is like Dr. House from House, except he’s not crippled, instead a Shaolin Kung Fu Master, as well as knowledgeable in Chinese Medicine. This comes in handy since most Traditional Chinese Medicine is made out of animal parts, and that’s what the Beasts are, animals. Dr. P is best friends with Grizzly Bear, they’ve formed the Battle Beasts Bear Social Club, despite him not being a real bear.
	Number: 54 Name: Leapin’ Lizard Japanese Name: Shield Dragon Ruler of Country: Emperor of Jigurard Position: Communications Soldier Weapon Name: Teleprojector (Gray Weapon) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 3 Species: Frilled Lizard (Brown w/ Blue Armor) Leapin’ Lizard is a crazy Mo-Fo! He jumps around yelling “BOO!” sticking out his tongue, harassing waitresses, and parking in handicapped zones. Leapin’ Lizard usually annoys his allies to the point where they constantly kick him out of their bases, but that’s the kind of thing Leapin’ Lizard loves! As a communications soldier, Lizard makes prank calls constantly, asking if fridges are running, if Prince White Leo is in a can, and what direction your toilet water is spinning. Leapin’ Lizard collects left shoes, pictures of Bea Arthur, and used corn cobs. Only Leapin’ Lizard can use the communications device, which is the only reason they keep him around. Sprint is planning to build a network next year, so Lizard may soon be out of a job.
	Number: 55 Name: Killer Koala Japanese Name: Koala Gray Ruler of Country: King of Lapol Position: Grasslands Reconnaissance Unit Weapon Name: Iron Axe (Gray Battleaxe) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Koala Bear (Gray w/ Olive Armor) Koala Gray is a good name, despite it sounding like he has a picture in the attic that ages while he stays the same age. Koala has an ear replaced with a radar dish, so he can eavesdrop on strangers on the bus. He hears some of the strangest conversations that way. Sometimes, he even hears secrets, which he uses to his advantage. Koala suddenly bought 5000 shares of Weasel-Co. right before it announced it’s new line of replacement hands. Koala wrote an article about how Horny Toad has an illegitimate daughter. Koala has been given a wide berth recently, as everyone thinks he’ll reveal secrets about them. Here is a secret about Koala: he likes to eat flower petals. Koala wishes he had his normal life back. The only solace he can find is in battle, attacking his enemies. Luckily, on Planet Beast, he can find a lot of solace.
	Number: 56 Name: Tarsier Tyrant Japanese Name: Demon Key (or Demonkey) Ruler of Country: Emperor of Parumira Position: Forest Demolition Soldier Weapon Name: Demon Waver (Gray Machete) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 3 Species: Tarsier (Brown w/ Green Armor) Tarsier is a freaky-looking pseudo-monkey. His almost-monkey self scares many Beasts, especially the Primates. His dismissal has caused him to become an outcast, making him easy prey to fall for the Decepticon Beasts lies. He is not a loyal foot soldier, happily destroying the very rain forest he lives in because his team wills it. He doesn’t see the big picture, only wanting to belong. Mockingly called a Demon Monkey, it was shortened to Demonkey as his personal nickname, which some have modified to Demon Key. His Demon Waver weapon chops down both trees and Beasts in battle. A fearsome foe, too bad he chose the losing side. Perhaps the Beasts will become more accepting in the future to prevent tragedies like this from happening again.
	Number: 57 Name: Black Panther Japanese Name: Black Jaguar Ruler of Country: King of Nupal Position: Head Bodyguard Weapon Name: Hyper Beam (Gray Spear with Handguard) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Black Jaguar (Black w/ Aqua Armor) Word. Power to his people. Black Panther is a revolutionary, fighting the Beast, the Oppressor, the Decepticons. Black Panther will gain his freedom, by any means necessary. His people will be free, the Nupalian Kings and Queens are a proud people, and will not bow. They shall break their chairs, they shall overcome. Black Panther is a controversial figure, but does more help to the community than harm. His methods are controversial, and there are divisions among his followers, but the message is the same: All Beasts deserve freedom and equality. Those who oppose this view will be crushed. No quarter will be given, no line will be drawn, it’s all or nothing.
	Number: 58 Name: Torrential Tapir Japanese Name: Dream Eater Ruler of Country: Emperor of Erku Position: Special Combat Unit Weapon Name: Quick Dreamer (Gray Forked Scimitar) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Tapir (White w/ Green Armor) Dream Eater. That is just such a cool name. Dream Eater puts so many other names to shame. From his description, it’s obvious that Dream Eater was a special troops who put enemies to sleep and then beat the crap out of them. That’s a noble goal to do in battle. My only complaint is that would be a cool villain move, why is he fighting with the Good Guys? There should always be way more villains than heroes, but only He-Man has pulled this off correctly. At least he’s a cool-sounding Beast. Too bad Tapirs aren’t exactly the best Beasts to be a Beast. This keeps him on the B-List. But don’t tell this to his face, he’ll put you to sleep and you’ll wake up tied up, hanging naked from a tree in the middle of the forest, with bruises all over your body.
	Number: 59 Name: King Cobra Japanese Name: Cobrander Ruler of Country: King of Jigrad Position: Emperor of Jiguraado Weapon Name: Mahilacore (Gray Sword/Axe) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 3 Species: Cobra (Brown w/ Purple Armor) COOOOOOBRA! Those darn GI Joe Beasts keep keeping Cobra down. Wait, this is a different Cobra. This guy is both King and Emperor of Jiguraado. That’s like when certain dictators call themselves President for Life. He wields the Mahilacore. what is a Mahila? Well, Mahila is the most respected word for a Telugu woman. So Cobrander is big on women’s rights. That’s good, but he’s still a Bad Guy. He has the incredibly valuable Stoned Cobra form, which gets it’s own segment. Cobrander rules with an iron fist, but he doesn’t put up with inequality. Every Beast is equal, except he is more equal. Disagree, and he’ll throw you into a pit of Triple Threat Snakes.
	Number: 60 Name: Maniac Mandrill Japanese Name: Baboon Ruler of Country: Emperor of Nirmudo Position: Mountains and Forest Staff Officer Weapon Name: Babooner (Gray Halberd) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Mandrill (Gray w/ Brown Armor) He’s a maniac, maniac on the floor. And he’s dancing like he’s never danced before… As Emperor of Nirmudo, Mandrill uses his high status to fling poo at his enemies. Well, what else can you say? His Japanese name is the very imaginative Baboon, making him the only Beast whose name I correctly guessed as a child. Maniac Mandrill instead is low quality Beast who fails to impress. And look at all that mascara! Someone needs some proper makeup tips. Shame shame shame, everyone knows your name. Plus, no red butt=no win.
	Number: 61 Name: Pixilated Pointer Japanese Name: Dog Hunter Ruler of Country: King of Iriano Position: High-Speed Reconnaissance Unit Weapon Name: Beam Hunter (Gray Mech-Halberd) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Pointer Dog (Brown w/ Blue Armor) Another day, another dog. Continuing the One Series, One Dog tradition, Pointer joins the Battle Beasts as the Dog of the Week. We could have nothing but Dog Beasts and still fill a medium sized room. Battle Beasts have gone to the dogs. Well, I have a bone to pick with that. Why not more interesting dogs? We need Wiener Dogs! We need Dalmatians! We need St. Bernards! We need “Yo Qiero Taco Bell!” Until my demands are met, I shall march outside the offices of every toymaker in the country! There will be a day of reckoning, and I will be triumphant! Dog Beasts for All!
	Number: 62 Name: Pillager Pig Japanese Name: Buupink Ruler of Country: King of Heles Position: Food Reconnaissance Unit Weapon Name: Gourmenia (Gray Spear) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Pig (Pink w/ Red Armor) A Pig? Lame. Babe he is not. Well, my Pig had an unfortunate accident where he was chewed up by my puppy when I was a kid. He lost both his arms, one of which I replaced with a gun from some random toy set. Japan seems to think he’s lame, making him a Food Reconnaissance Unit. His name, Buupink, is pretty crappy as well. Nothing is exciting about Pig. Why do you stink so bad? When I can make you more exciting by just adding a yellow gun on instead of an arm, something is dearly wrong.
	Number: 63 Name: Rowdy Rooster Japanese Name: Laser Cock Ruler of Country: Emperor of East Yutoranta Position: Air Staff Officer Weapon Name: Valiant Laser (Gray Double-Bladed Spear) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Rooster (White w/ Light Blue Armor) “Laser Cock”!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Laser Cock! Hahahahaha!!! Air “Staff” officer! Hahahahaha! Laser Cock!!! Cock! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! HA-hahahahahaha! Laser Cock! Valiant Laser…Cock! Hahahahahaha!
	Number: 64 Name: Musky Ox Japanese Name: Musk-Horn Ruler of Country: King of West Yutoranta Position: Mountains Combatant Weapon Name: Mind Saber (Gray Broadsword) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 3 Species: Water Buffalo (Brown w/ Yellow Armor) Possessing a sweet sword, the Mind Saber, Water Buffalo looks like a winner. For some reason, Water Buffalo was elected President of the Battle Beasts. He walked around wearing a suit and red tie. He ruled with Pirate Lion, but the President is more of a ceremonial post. WB’s best attribute is his cool sword. It’s just cool. All the other Beasts want it. That’s why they made him president, so he’s be too busy being diplomatic to use his sword. Water Buffalo gets the last laugh, as he uses his sword for Line-Item Vetoes.

Series 2, Part II

Series 3, Part II

Special Thanks:
White Leo’s Site
Beastformers.com
Master List (Aratak’s Plastic Warriors)

1 comment - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 30, 2006 at 3:00 pm

Categories: Battle Beasts Tags:

Battle Beast Files – Series 2, Part 2

Who are the Battle Beasts? Let’s get to know each and every one personally!
Series 2, Part II!

	Number: 41 Name: Run Amuk Duck Japanese Name: Smile Duck Ruler of Country: Emperor of Tel Es Sawan Position: Amphibious Offensive Combatant Weapon Name: Smilon (Golden Mace/Axe) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Duck (Yellow w/ Light Blue Armor) Smile Duck or Run Amuk Duck? Both names are pretty keen. Duck isn’t so bad himself, with one hand replaced with a slicing blade that looks like one of the most dangerous weapons in the Beast world. Duck’s ability to fight on land, air, and water is a triple threat, without the snakes. Duck’s ability to smile in the face of danger is an added bonus that improves moral. Duck is usually the joker of the group, providing much needed breaks of hilarity that help crack the monotonous cruelty of war. Smile Duck’s psychoanalysis is troubling, and leading Beast Psychologists think that Smile Duck will one day have a mental collapse and be brought down by extreme depression. At that time, he has the name Sad Duck waiting for him. Duck’s weapon is a crazed combination of a mace and an axe, with plenty of extra parts to confuse the enemy. No one knows that one of those parts is actually a fife, which Duck plays during his solitary reflection time.
	Number: 42 Name: Miner Mole Japanese Name: Underground Ruler of Country: King of Loze Position: Underground Offensive Combatant Weapon Name: Ungrinder (Golden Blunt Mech-Glaive) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Mole (Lavender w/ Purple Armor) A mole in the hole is worth two in the bush. Wait, that’s not right… Underground is a cool name as well, we’re finally having a run of them. This Mole is available in two armor colors, thanks to an obvious paint change. In addition to this purple form, there is a form with black armor. The Black Armor is supposed to be the rare version, but it’s the version I had for the longest time until I located a Purple Mole. We can assume that these two are brothers. Twins, even. The Mole family celebrated their birth with great celebration, as mole twins are a rare occurrence. Because of their rarity, they were targeted for theft by Decepticon-allied Beasts. Both Miner Moles had to fight for their lives when but children, after their underground tunnel was raided by the evil Gopher Clan. Soon the twins turned the Gophers into Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts. They’ve since moved on to defending Planet Beast from it’s enemies. Purple Mole is noted for his love of soap carving.
	Number: 42 Name: The Other Miner Mole Japanese Name: The Other Underground Ruler of Country: The Other King of Loze Position: Underground Offensive Combatant Weapon Name: Ungrinder (Golden Blunt Mech-Glaive) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Mole (Lavender w/ Black Armor) The second mole in the bush, The Other Miner Mole is Underground wearing his new black costume. Thanks to a paint variation, we now need two copies of Mole to be completists. Black Underground isn’t a goth version of Mole, though that would have been odd. He’s need some more mascara and paler skin, maybe more leather straps. The twin of Purple Mole, Black Mole is like his brother, an enemy of the Gopher Clan and staunch defenders of Planet Beast. Mole’s clamp arm is handy in doing plumbing work back in the Castle Loze. Fast Fact: Castle Loze is located underground, because it’s all Moles! Neither of these two paint variations look like the one on the poster, which is very very odd. Black Mole is noted for his love of wood carving.
	Number: 43 Name: Cutthroat Cuttlefish Japanese Name: Cuttledeep Ruler of Country: Emperor of North Yutoranta Position: Deep-Sea Demolition Soldier Weapon Name: Dream Spear (Golden Two-Headed Short Spear) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Cuttlefish (White w/ Gray Armor) One of the baddies in the Blackthorne Comic Series, and one of my favorite Beasts! Described in the comics as “a wishy-washy whiner. His strong suit is switching sides in the middle of a fight, and changing loyalties at the drop of a hat.” This plays out when he joins Ruhin after he appears, and Ruhin then turns him into a stone statue. I guess that’s the end of Cutthroat Cuttlefish in the comics. Since Ruhin can turn Beasts to stone, why didn’t he just turn his enemies to stone? Maybe he could only turn his followers. Anyway, Cutthroat was called “Squid” growing up, because that’s what he was to us. Cutthroat also had a problem with his arms breaking, both copies I have of him have limb casualties. One of those casualties was painted green, had a shell glued to his back, and went by the name “Nautilus” until the glue wore off and the shell vanished. Still, Cutthroat was just a neat looking guy. His arm that is replaced by a spear (or an explosive tipped one if you buy the Blackthorne Bio) was also a nice touch. Cutthroat rules the country of North Yutoranta, the Yutoranta known for it’s great cuisine and tree-sized mushrooms. These mushrooms cause you to hallucinate, and tripping on the ‘shrooms is why Cutthroat cut off his own arm, as it had grown a mouth and was attempting to eat him, or so he thought.
	Number: 44 Name: Eager Beaver Japanese Name: Bebop (or Beavup) Ruler of Country: Emperor of Aluchian Position: Amphibious Reconnaissance Unit Weapon Name: Saw Beat (Golden Sawtooth Sword) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Beaver (Yellow w/ Brown Armor) Eager Beaver is one of the good ones. He’s cool looking, has a cool looking weapon, and from his Japanese names it looks like they were trying to make him into the Jazz or Blaster of the Battle Beasts. He spends all his time listening to cool tunes and breakdancing, when he’s not building dams, spying on the enemy, or splashing his tail on the water to warn of danger. Eager Beaver will not wait to fight the enemy, he makes the enemy fight him, whether they are ready or not. The first thing the enemy usually says is “A yellow beaver?” right before they get some buck teeth in their behind. Beaver then does some dance-flip moves against his opponents, including the ultra-powerful “Electric Beavaloo.” Eager Beaver is the Beast you send when you want to send a message to the enemy, that message being “You Got Served!”
	Number: 45 Name: Slasher Seahorse Japanese Name: Junior Dragon Ruler of Country: Emperor of Agos Position: Underwater Demolition Soldier Weapon Name: Screw Spinner (Golden Short Bent Trident) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Seahorse (Brown w/ Light Blue Armor) Seahorse, or Junior Dragon, lives under the sea. There’ll be no accusations, just friendly crustaceans under the sea! Well, from the list so far, most of these crustaceans aren’t that friendly. In fact, they all seem evil. Is anyone in the water a good guy? Have you noticed that the Decepticon Beasts have a Sea Mine “Explosives” Soldier, a Deep-Sea Demolition Soldier, and an Underwater Demolition Soldier? That’s a lot of underwater blowing up. Planet Beast must be full of lakes and oceans that explode constantly due to the large amount of explosive devices inside. It’s probably a rare day when bodies of water aren’t exploding. Junior Dragon is the son of Senior Dragon, a Legendary Beast who once killed 19 Beasts before breakfast. Junior Dragon has only killed three Beasts before breakfast, and it was more like brunch, and they were quite old Beasts who may have died from old age, and they might not really be dead. But he’s trying!
	Number: 46 Name: Knight Owl Japanese Name: Nightowl Ruler of Country: King of Agos Position: Night Warfare Commander Weapon Name: Night Saber (Golden Fleur-de-lis Shortsword) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Owl (Brown w/ Blue Armor) Knight Owl is famous for being one of the Good Guys in the Blackthrone comic. He’s a wild and crazy guy, as they wanted to go total opposite from the “wise old owl” stereotype. It looks like Japan was feeling that as well, but they made him a villain who lead night assaults upon the forces of good. Using his cybernetic eye, Owl sweeps over the battle field and strikes where he can. Knight Owl got his eye in a fight with the Borg, both him and Blitzkrieg Bat we captured and there was assimilation attempts, Borg components attached, some battling, and escape, and lasting cybernetic eyes. Both Owl and Bat were taken because they were the only ones up that night flying in the air. Knight Owl forged his sword out of the melted down Borg components he took off of his body as he was healing. Renamed the Night Saber, it adapts to his opponents’ attacks and has become one of the deadliest weapons on Planet Beast. Knight Owl is now a hero, but his dark Borg past still haunts him, unlike Bat who has wiped his mind from the memories. Knight Owl thinks that he might one day turn back to the path of evil, and has prepared plans for a suicide attack to go down in a blaze of glory were that to happen. Let’s hope the sun always shines on Nightowl.
	Number: 47 Name: Hunchback Camel Japanese Name: Yellow Camelus Ruler of Country: King of Tel Es Sawan Position: Transportation Staff Officer Weapon Name: Airnizer (Golden Cactus-Leaf-Shaped Club) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Camel (Tan w/ Orange Armor) Let’s hear it for Camel! Camel! He’s Yellow! He’s a camel! Give him a hand! Someone? Anyone? No one likes Camel. So sad. Camel didn’t do anything wrong, except be a camel. That’s not really a crime, but compared to the many awesome Beasts out there, being a camel isn’t the cream of the crop. It isn’t even close to cream. There is no cream. Camels spit, so maybe Hunchback should have spitting powers. Sadly, his job is Transportation Staff Officer, which means that people ride on his back. How demeaning is that? Camel gets no respect. I say, Camel should be respected! Look at his weapon! It’s a cactus leaf on a stick! How cool is that? Very cool. Camel also has the best defense against the horde of evil water Beast, he can live in the desert!
	Number: 48 Name: Pillaging Polar Bear Japanese Name: Polar Battle Bear Ruler of Country: King of North Yutoranta Position: Ice Field Combat Unit Weapon Name: Polar Freezer (Golden Crescent Axe) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Bear (White Polar w/ Baby Blue Armor) Oh, come on! The Heck this guy looks like a freaking Polar Bear! He’s a Llama, and you know it! No one thinks this goon is a Polar Bear! Polar Bears aren’t that streamlined! Where’s the black parts that make him look like an actual bear? This is a lie. A dirty, dirty Battle Beast LIE! Not only that, “Polar Bear” doesn’t even have a number on his body, only his weapon is numbered. “Polar Bear” is the only Beast without a number on his body. Because he’s not a real polar bear! He’s a Llama who got lost, then lied to the military recruiters when they came by so he could get into the army. Was life under the Aztecs that cruel? I guess it was. He’s rather live in the arctic than be ritually sacrificed. well, me too. Good thing I don’t suck as much as “Polar Bear” does. You are a Llama. Llama llama llama.
	Number: 49 Name: Flying Attacker Japanese Name: Squire Squirrel Ruler of Country: Emperor of Hariso Position: Land and Air Offensive Unit Weapon Name: Musasa Beamer (Golden Scimitar) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Flying Squirrel (Yellow w/ Blue Armor) Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a Plane! It’s…a squirrel? Oh, that’s right, some squirrels fly. Like this one, Squire Squirrel. Suire Squirrel likes to fly around and drop bombs on the enemy, which doesn’t mean what you think it does, you dirty minded pervert! Get out of the gutter and get into Battle Beasts! Flying Attacker is not a name, but a description. What a lame name. That would be like if my name was “Internet Writer”. Totally lame. At least he has the Musasa Beamer, which has the cool “Musasa” name. Musasa is like Mufasa, so it’s cool. Mufasa! I mean, Musasa! Take that, Hyenas! This is all well and good, until Squire Squirrel was killed by his brother Scar Squirrel, who took over the Squirrel Pride. Luckily, Swiny Boar, Marauding MeerKat, and Simba Squirrel returned to defeat him. Disney made a movie out of it, but changed a few details. Namely, Swiny Boar doesn’t eat bugs, he eats mud.
	Number: 50 Name: Saber Sword Tiger Japanese Name: Platinum Tiger Ruler of Country: King of Hariso Position: Honor Combatant Weapon Name: Saber Sword (Golden Fencing Sword) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Saber-toothed Tiger (Yellow w/ Light Blue Armor) Saber Sword Tiger is the first of a kind, the Beast who is an extinct animal. In Battle Beast Lore, the Saber Sword Tigers were the Royal Guards for the Lion Royal Family, and Platinum Tiger was imprisoned in a Holography Mirror as he tried to call for help from the Autobots. He even has a special holographic card, that came packaged with Triple Threat Snake (in Japan only.) Armed with a fencing sword, he looks like a danger. You can see why he was a guard in the Royal Family. After finally being freed, Saber Sword Tiger joined the Autobot Beasts and helped save Planet Beast. Currently, Saber Sword Tiger is leading an expedition into the jungles of Hogland to search for the legendary Stoned Pig. He likes strawberries.
	Number: 51 Name: Bludgeoning Bulldog Japanese Name: Bullorn Ruler of Country: King of Madora Position: Sergeant Weapon Name: Bullstick (Golden Cane) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Bulldog (Brown w/ Black Armor) Bulldog has a cane, so he got a lot of “Old Bulldog” jokes and took on a persona like Ironhide from the Transformers, and eventually Kup. According to his position, he’s a Sergeant, which means he whips the troops into shape. Imagine him like R. Lee Ermey, yelling at his troops “We keep Beast Heaven packed with fresh souls!” and “I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world.” On captured Beasts “What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?” That’s what any good Battle Beast cartoon needs.
	Number: 52 Name: Pew-trid Skunk Japanese Name: Ultragas Ruler of Country: Emperor of Loze Position: Construction Soldier Weapon Name: Air-Changer (Golden Curved Scimitar) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Skunk (Purple w/ Black Armor) The Battle Beasts answer to Stinkor, Skunk is unfortunately not made with special smelly plastic, so he doesn’t have a bad smell. Skunk himself is armed with a gasmask and some weird tubs sticking out of the tops of his arms. He looks like some sort of psychotic Goth all clubbed up. His Japanese name is the terrible Ultragas, which makes you think of things besides Skunk shooting poison gas from his rear. Wait, yes it does, just not in that way. Skunk is a messed up individual, living a solitary life as he mixes poison gases together to dispense on his enemies. His enemies despise him. His allies avoid him. He has no family, no friends, no nothing, except his gas. Precious, precious gas. What the heck is a “Construction Soldier” anyway? Does he attack buildings under construction? Does he build stuff on the battlefield, an odd job for a poison gas specialist? This is heading to a disturbing area, so let’s move on to Series Three…

Series 2, Part I

Series 3, Part I

Special Thanks:
White Leo’s Site
Beastformers.com
Master List (Aratak’s Plastic Warriors)

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 11, 2006 at 11:53 am

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Battle Beast Files – Series 2, Part 1

Who are the Battle Beasts? Let’s get to know each and every one personally!
Series 2, Part I!

	Number: 29 Name: Icky Iguana Japanese Name: Iguanamons Ruler of Country: King of Onomis Position: Special Demolition Soldier Weapon Name: Monsaberer (Brass Lightning-shaped Sword) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Iguana (Lime Green w/ Orange Armor) A big freaking lime neon green lizard. Icky daringly wears orange with his lime body, knowing full well the fashion faux pas he’s creating. That’s why they call him Icky! For some reason Japan has given him a plural name with Iguanamons, but the “mons” is included in his Monssaberer weapon name. I guess they are referring to Olympus Mons, the highest point on the planet Mars. Hopefully, because “mons” also means “a mound of fatty tissue covering the pubic area in women”! That would make Iguanamons one of the dirtiest Beast names out there. (But not the dirtiest, he’s in Series 3!) Icky wasn’t that fascinating, sadly for him, and never did much. I managed to get two of him for some reason, and the one that lost an arm I painted dark blue, but this was while I was 12 or so, so it’s sloppily done. Still, for a one-armed messy blue Iguana, he still looks more like a winner than Icky himself. Take that, Icky! Icky is the King of Onions. Huh? Oh, Onomis. There, too!
	Number: 30 Name: Armored Armadillo Japanese Name: Brown Gyro Ruler of Country: Emperor of Eras Position: Land Armored Soldier Weapon Name: Gyroder (Brass Double-Bladed Scythe) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Armadillo (Brown w/ Purple Armor) Armored Armadillo is sort of an oxymoron. He was a manly man, wearing Purple Armor that bordered on pink. I’m guessing his double-sided weapon had some sort of gyroscope-related attack where it spun around or something, thus giving him the “Gyro” theme he had in Japan. Brown Gyro is not a cool name, either. You’d think he’d have a neat name, but instead Armadillo just balls himself up and hides from the world. His armored skin was a protection most Beasts couldn’t best, so Armadillo made it near the top tier numerous times, but the fact that he’s just an armadillo kept him out of the winners’ circle. I had two of him as well, one of which got a nice black paintjob, I guess he’d be Black Gyro! Armadillo is the Emperor of all Eras of Battle Beast history, or just a country named after a unit of time in plurals.
	Number: 31 Name: Jaded Jag Japanese Name: Power Jaguar Ruler of Country: King of Aluchian Position: Land Offensive Adjutant Weapon Name: Jag Spear (Brass Spear) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Jaguar (Yellow w/ Blue Armor) Jaded Jag is so jaded he can no longer fight for his country. Jaded was burnt out by all the propaganda, all the cries of “For Fire, For Wood, For Water, and For Beast Star!” Jaded got sick of standing for the national anthem and posing for propaganda posters. Jaded got tired of the endless wars in impossibly small countries like Rabihos and Petora. Jaded felt betrayed by all the talk of loyalty and patriotism, but when he returned home, he was abandoned by the government. Jaded ended up living in the streets, unemployable due to post-traumatic stress disorder. Luckily, Jaded was helped out by a friend. A friend in need is a friend indeed, and Jaded Jag’s friend was his longtime brother-in-arms, Jaded Leopard. Jaded Leopard may just look like Jaded Jag in red armor, but he’s a whole different cat. A cat who looks out for his fellow felines. Jaded Leopard helped Jaded Jag get the therapy he needed, and now Jaded Jag ain’t so jaded, but he keeps the name, to remember.
	Number: 31 Name: Jaded Leopard Japanese Name: Power Leopard Ruler of Country: The Other King of Aluchian Position: Land Offensive Adjutant Weapon Name: Leopard Spear (Brass Spear) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Leopard (Yellow w/ Red Armor) Jaded Leopard is just a red repaint of Jaded Jag. I renamed him Leopard because I wanted both armor colors, and he could easily be a different Beast. For some reason, the Red version is considered the common version, but when I was growing up, the blue one was everywhere, and the red took me forever to find. The Jaded paint variations and the Mole paint variations were the most commonly known variations, since they are the most obvious. So Leopard is Jaded Jag’s closest friend, and is the only reason Jaded Jag hasn’t gone down the dark road of despair to the big emptyness beyond.
	Number: 32 Name: Humungous Hippo Japanese Name: Strong Hippo Ruler of Country: King of Ganborujia Position: Amphibious Transportation Unit Weapon Name: Aqua Hippo (Brass Crested Axe) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Hippo (Gray w/ Blue Armor) Hippos are one of the most feared animals in Africa. Humungous Hippo, unfortunately, is just an average Beast on the fear factor, possibly leaning toward “cute” status. The problem is he looks too much like a Hungry Hungry Hippo. That should have been his real name, anyway. Hippo was packaged with the Shocking Shark base in Japan, thus justifying his Amphibious Transportation Unit title. When not transporting units, he’s the King of Ganborujia, known for it’s delicious mangoes and it’s ridiculously long name.
	Number: 33 Name: Major Moose Japanese Name: Wave-Moose Ruler of Country: King of Eras Position: Supersonic Mountain Combatant Weapon Name: Wave-Mooser (Brass Antler Sword) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Moose (Brown w/ Light Blue Armor) Major Moose and Colonel Bird are the military ranked Beasts. They sit in their war room and come up with strategies to send hundreds of young Beasts to their deaths. Thanks to kickbacks from the Military Industrial Complex, Major Moose can retire a millionare. Too bad for him Pirate Lion won’t let him retire, and is forcing him to personally lead a land assult on a heavily fortified base. Alone. At twelve noon. Dressed like a clown. Armed with three tomatoes and a carrot. Who’s making money now, Major? Seriously, this guy is the Supersonic Mountain Combatant, which sounds ridiculous, and even his weapon is called a “Wave-Mooser” meaning it might shoot sonic waves or something. Just ignore that it looks like a menorah.
	Number: 34 Name: Delta Chameleon Japanese Name: Green Chameles Ruler of Country: Emperor of Onomis Position: Camouflaged Offensive Soldier Weapon Name: Magna-Leon (Brass Two-Tined Battleaxe) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Chameleon (Green w/ Blue Armor) Here he is. The main villain from the Blackthorne Battle Beasts comic. Delta Chameleon. Just called Chameleon by Blackthorne, probably because his real first name is the delta character, not delta spelled out, and they thought he was just called “Chameleon”. In the comics, Chameleon could change his symbol to either Fire, Wood, or Water at will; and masterminded the villain characters, basically plunging the world into a land of chaos and destruction. With his camouflage ability, Delta would be a formidable opponent. Usually set up as a hidden warrior who was hard to see during playtime, he was easily exposed by throwing mud or flour on him, allowing the main character Beasts to defeat him easily. Delta was usually one of the bad Beasts, on the playground, in the comics, and in Japan (being a Decepticon) making him a universally recognized Evil Mastermind of Evil Evilness. He’s so bad, he probably uses the Powerglove to play Super Mario Brothers 3. Delta plays by his own rules, and even defies the Beasts on his side, working against them if it’s in his own interest. He is a rival of Puzzelcolor, and craves stealing his Shield Battler for himself. One day he will succeed, but how many Beasts will be hurt in his attempt?
	Number: 35 Name: Kickback Kangaroo Japanese Name: Jungaroo Ruler of Country: King of Chibara Position: Jumping Combatant Weapon Name: Garoorang (Brass Boomerang Sword) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Kangaroo (Gray w/ Aqua Armor) “Jumping Combatant”? Way to stereotype. The wonder from down under, the king of the ring, Kickback Kangaroo will hop his way into your heart! Like all kangaroos, Kickback enjoys boxing, hopping, boomerang throwing, and kicking it with his homies. Kickback is not to be confused with Laser Beast Kickback (a grasshopper) or the Insecticon Kickback (an Insecticon). Perhaps Kickback should get a less common name. Like Kickbutt! Kangaroo has a boxing glove over his left hand, allowing him to punch his way to victory. Kangaroo was a cool Beast, and was always near the top of the heap fightwise. His boomerang sword allowed dramatic moments like him throwing the sword, getting cut down by a foe, and then the sword spinning back and impaling the foe in the back. This made good imaginary cinema for 9 year olds.
	Number: 36 Name: Octillion Octopus Japanese Name: Red Octo Ruler of Country: Emperor of Tamalaham Position: Sea Mine “Explosives” Soldier Weapon Name: Octo-Anchor (Brass Double-Headed Arrow Spear) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Octopus (Red w/ Blue Armor) Red Octo manages to have another unimaginative name from Japan. Far more interesting is that Octillion Octopus was bought by my sister, and she subsequently made Octopus into a girl. So whenever I see Octopus, I think of her as a her. So she is the Emperess of Tamalaham. She is an Explosives Soldier. She is a Decepticon. What is with the name Tamalaham? It’s like Lama-rama-ding-dong! Maybe it’s named after the President Tamalaham Lincoln. Octopus’s got 8 arms, thus being an octopus. Exciting, but Octopus was outclassed by Cutthroat Cuttlefish as far as the tentacle-brigade goes.
	Number: 37 Name: Wolfgang Walrus Japanese Name: Sea-Iron Ruler of Country: Emperor of Chibara Position: Underwater Maneuvers Unit Weapon Name: Sea Saber (Brass Harpoon Axe Weapon) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Walrus (Gray w/ Yellow Armor) The child prodigy who became the greatest composer of the Classical age. The apparent simplicity and clarity of his music belies its enormous difficulties, and he is especially famous for his piano concertos, operas, string quartets and wild sense of humor. Oh, wait, that was Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart! Wolfgang Walrus is a Battle Beast who isn’t full of blubber, despite being full of blubber! Wait, that doesn’t work….but we’ll go with it anyway! Ruling Chibara with Kangaroo (that is an odd pairing) Walrus is a tusk above the rest. Wolfgang Walrus has brilliant white tusks, unlike his brother, Ludwig. Wolfgang further shows off his pearly whites by added white highlights to his armor, thus bringing out his brightness more. Wolfgang earns $51,500 a year from Crest doing advertising.
	Number: 37 Name: Ludwig von Walrus Japanese Name: Sea-Iron Ruler of Country: The Other Emperor of Chibara Position: Underwater Maneuvers Unit Weapon Name: Ludwig von Sea Saber (Brass Harpoon Axe Weapon) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Walrus (Gray w/ Yellow Armor) This is the Grey-tusked version of Wolfgang Walrus, his brother, Ludwig. Ludwig is not a big believer in Oral Hygiene, thus he has never cleaned his tusks. Ludwig vows to only clean them when “the enemies of my people are vanquished forever!” As new enemies keep popping up, Ludwig’s tusks have taken the same dirty-grey color as he is. Ludwig’s main distinction from his brother is his green eyes, which he gets from their father, Johann Sebastian Walrus. Ludwig has, in turn, added green highlights to his armor, where his brother uses white. They weild identical weapons.
	Number: 38 Name: Powerhouse Mouse Japanese Name: Scout Mouse Ruler of Country: Emperor of Ganborujia Position: Special Reconnaissance Soldier Weapon Name: Scousaber (Brass Sword) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Mouse (Gray w/ Red Armor) Mickey’s little brother Powerhouse fell into a timewarp and emerged on Plant Beastia. He was at first shunned, but soon learned the Way of the Warrior and became a great fighter. Soon, he developed Beast Symbol powers, and designed his weapon, the Scousaber. Powerhouse was always greedy and looked out for himself, despite Mickey’s teachings. He turned to the dark side, and joined the Decepticons. Powerhouse’s skill of sneaking around came in handy during many important battles, such as the Battle of Bison Hill, and the Battle of Bodonia. Powerhouse took over leadership of Ganborujia, but it cost him his left hand, which has been replaced by a shovelhead. This new hand aides Powerhouse in digging tunnels beneath enemy bases, furthering his sneaky ways.
	Number: 39 Name: Dragoon Raccoon Japanese Name: Dark Raccoon Ruler of Country: Emperor of Madora Position: Explosives Staff Officer Weapon Name: Dark Fire (Brass Pinetree-Shaped Glaive) Affiliation: Autobot Series: 2 Species: Raccoon (Tan w/ Green Armor) Dark Raccoon is an actual good Japanese name. Amazing. Too bad it doesn’t make much sense, as Dark Raccoon is an Autobot, aka a good guy! Maybe Dark means something different in Japan. Dark Raccoon likes to blow stuff up, just like real raccoons. Dark Raccoon would blow more stuff up, but he’s too busy washing his food before he eats it. He washes his food all the time, constantly. He misses fights, important events, epic battles, the birth of his firstborn son, everything, because he must wash his food. He even forgets to defuse bombs because he has to wash his food, the resulting explosion killed Slasher Seahorse’s father, turning him evil.
	Number: 40 Name: Antic Anteater Japanese Name: Power Nozzle Ruler of Country: King of Tamalaham Position: Vacuum Offensive soldier Weapon Name: Nozzle Arm (Brass Three-Pincered Club) Affiliation: Decepticon Series: 2 Species: Anteater (Red w/ Aqua-green Armor) Power Nozzle? Now that’s two cool Japanese names in a row! Japan seems fixated on Anteater’s oral ability, christening him a Vacuum Offensive soldier. This is because he sucks! Wait, not that kind of suck. He does the non-sucking sucking. Anteater shares rulership over Tamalaham with Octopus, as that country like rulers who are red. Anteater’s greatest nemesis was Attacking Ant, and they fought a duel for three weeks at the top of Mount Madora, until Anteater plunged his club into the skull of Attacking Ant, slaying him. Anteater performed the Ritual of the Twelve Nights, fasting over his defeated foe except for the pieces of Attacking Ant that he ritually ate. This gave Anteater added powers, which aide him in battle. Attacking Ant’s brother, Avenging Ant, vows that he will bring the killer of his kin to justice. For the time being, Antic Anteater is still large and in charge.