Posts tagged "Anguirus"

Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Addition (Review)

March of Godzilla 2019

Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Addition

aka すすめ!ゴジランド aka ゴジラと遊ぼう aka Let’s Play With Godzilla
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Addition
1996
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Addition
Gakken is backken and in the meantime they got a new logo! After the two year gap, Godzilland was revamped and retooled. There is a different theme song performed by a lady! But more importantly, the show has more kaiju kid characters! Joining the Godzilland team are Gigan, Moguera, and Mechagodzilla! Mechagodzilla looks like 1970s Mechagodzilla, not the 90s Mechagodzilla, which is a weird aesthetic choice but maybe they didn’t like the new monster being cartoonified so much. Let’s not forget the wholly original character – a female Godzilla! This one is pink with hearts for the spinal ridges, and her name is Gojirin! Gojirin is just adding a female suffix to Gojira, and is equivalent to calling her Godzilly in English, thus that has become her unofficial English name. And the show now has live-action segments where Godzilla tells stories to a human lady, both of them being the same size! We’re really tripping balls here for this new series and it is amazing!

The best part is all of this is canon now, baby! You can’t uncanon this, it exists, Godzilla had a girlfriend and has a human lady friend and couldn’t do math or read due to having no real parents, which is why he’s a good dad to all his adopted kids he’s picked up over the years. This is the truest of truths. Be sure to check out the cast list page for Godzilland!
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Addition
Godzilla is making pancakes for his lady friend, who is impressed that he can use the power of addition to tell how many pancakes he has made. Godzilla enjoys regaling her with tales of his youth, so today he’s gonna tell her (and us!) about how he learned addition. It is not entirely clear what the nature of their relationship is, so I just call her his lady friend while he seems to call her something like “Big Sister”, so I guess she is a friend that is like family? A nanny? A nurse caretaker due to a chronic medical condition that we are not aware of due to the short length of the series? Could it have to due with Godzilla’s propensity to eat all sorts of terrible food? Is Godzilla going to die of a heart attack at an early age because he won’t eat a salad? Damn it, Godzilla, pull yourself together, man! But I digress…

A long long time ago on Godzilland…

Mechagodzilla’s peaceful flight around Godzilland is spoiled when he spies Godzilla and Anguirus having an argument that turns into a physical altercation. These boys do nothing but cause problems! Mechagodzilla marvels that such good friends are good enough friends to fight each other, which sounds like a very mature view until the episode continues and we see it is a very immature view that just lucked into sounding more philosophical than it is.
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Addition
Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - August 8, 2019 at 12:19 pm

Categories: Movie Reviews   Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Recommended! Godzilland – Learning How To Count (Review)

March of Godzilla 2019

Recommended! Godzilland – Learning How To Count

aka すすめ!ゴジランド – ~かず1・2・3
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning How To Count
1994
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning How To Count
Do you know how to count? Of course you don’t! It’s hard! Numbers are bad! They each one is a different amount, who has time to count all these numbers? Luckily, Gakken Video and Godzilla are here to help you learn things like numbers and what to do with them. So prepare to get numb, people!

These Godzilland episodes have opening credits with lots of stuff not in the two episodes. Was this all planned but abandoned videos or just a highlight reel to make the series seem more like an actual thing with the monsters going on constant adventures? Buddy, your guess is as good as mine! Confused by Godzilland? Check out the Splash Page!
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning How To Count
Anguirus has made hot tea and cakes for Godzilla’s birthday party. Rodan smells them and demands cake even though Anguirus says to wait. Wow, is this the Rodan from Godzilla: King of the Monsters?

Meanwhile Godzilla bumps into Baragon and they discuss going to Anguirus’s for the party. Mothra also is on the way, while King Ghidorah has already arrived and the party begins.
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning How To Count
Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - August 6, 2019 at 12:14 pm

Categories: Movie Reviews   Tags: , , , , , ,

Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Hiragana (Review)

March of Godzilla 2019

Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Hiragana

aka すすめ!ゴジランド – よめるよ かけるよ ひらがな
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Hiragana
1994
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Hiragana
First up is Godzilland video Learning Hiragana (よめるよ かけるよ ひらがな)! Are you cool enough to learn hiragana with Godzilla? Of course you are! Also you are probably a young Japanese kid, or else this would be really weird, like some sort of adult watching these decades after he should have. As these are weird and watching them may rot your brain if not prepared, I’ll be overly descriptive and include a bunch of images.

Godzilland theme has Godzilla jumping up and down on a slot machine, he hits the jackpot and thus all the kaiju flood out as prizes! Godzilla! Rodan! Baragon! Mothra! Mothra! Mothra! (three Mothras, one adult and two larvae) Anguirus! King Ghidorah! It’s monster time, baby!
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Hiragana
Godzilland is a cool place to explore, please do so. It is required. You can’t leave if you don’t explore, citizen. Please explore only in the clearly defined zones, if you explore in a Red Forbidden Zone, you will be sent to the Judicator to be processed into protein feed. Have a pleasant stay on Godzilland!

For the Monster Roll Call, please check out the complete cast list for these educational Godzilland episodes!!

Ms. Mothra has grown some nice strawberries and invites all the monsters to come try them via letters she drops off. She knows these kaiju are greedy for food and will surely come to pig out. King Ghidorah takes a break from showering (by spitting on himself!) to read the letter. Anguirus is so eager to get a letter he trips over a stump. Godzilla is interrupted from practicing breathing fire by the letter. Rodan immediately shoots off to get strawberries first, but King Ghidora and then Baragon pop up to eat as well. The others arrive, except for Godzilla and Anguirus, who are nowhere to be found. The monsters that did arrive soon eat all the the strawberries.
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Hiragana
Read more…

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 31, 2019 at 11:21 am

Categories: Movie Reviews   Tags: , , , , , ,

Godzilland Educational Videos Information and Cast Splash Page

March of Godzilla 2019
For March of Godzilla 2019, we have scoured the depths of the universe to bring weird Godzilla media to light, thus you must now prepare to learn the basics of Hiragana, counting, and mathematics with a series of four educational videos from Gakken featuring cartoon Godzilla and pals that are part of the Godzilland franchise!

Back in the long time ago, TarsTarkas.NET covered an obscure children’s morning show called Godzilland, which featured a bunch of skits promoting Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 2. Outside of that single episode, little was known about the show, even how many episodes there were. Now that it is the far far future, we know a little bit more, even though that is still the only episode of that version of Godzilland available online! Thanks to the power of Godzilland Museum, we now know this was an episode of the SECOND Godzilland series, called 冒険!ゴジランド2 (Adventure! Godzilland 2), and that was probably the first episode of said series. Each show was 15 minutes long and it ran from October 7 to December 30, 1993. The prior Godzilland series was called 冒険!ゴジランド (Adventure! Godzilland), it was made to promote 1992’s Godzilla vs. Mothra, and was another 15 minute long weekly series that ran from October 1 until December 24, 1992. The cast included Sayaka Osawa and Keiko Imamura, who played the twin fairies. There are no known episodes online and the only evidence of the show’s design is an album. While Godzilland Museum believes that Adventure! Godzilland was the origin of many of the chibi kaiju designs that are used in the series we will discuss, the Godzilland concept dates back much earlier, as Godzilland Museum explains:

While the name is better known for the mysterious anime from the middle ‘90s (actually four OVAs), in reality it all started back in the middle ‘80s…

Specifically, the year 1984, when a new Godzilla movie called “The Return of Godzilla” was being released after nine years of hiatus, celebrating the character’s 30th anniversary, and (as it would later turn out) beginning the “Heisei” series of movies.

Naturally there was a lot of merchandise for the occasion, and a fraction of it (but still a lot) went under the name “Comic Saurs Story ゴジランド There Is The Monsters’ Paradise” and featured several classic monsters from previous movies (latter known as the “Showa” series) looking all cartoony and cute while at it.

ゴジランド meaning Godzilland, it’s meant to be the name of the island where these versions of the monsters live in.

Recurring themes were Godzilla eating riceballs; Godzilla playing with his son Minya and three Mothras (one adult and two larvae); and Mechagodzilla, King Ghidorah and Gigan being troublemakers. Surprisingly, Hedorah seems to be female and non-antagonistic. Other monsters include Rodan, Anguirus, Baragon, Ebirah and Moguera.

As we will see in these reviews, many of these concepts are carried over into the four Gakken videos, which makes this pretty much a direct continuation of the Comic Saurs line. Two videos were released in 1994, and two more in 1996. The latter videos feature more monsters and have short live-action wrap-arounds, but the general concepts and themes are the same. Many of the designs are borrowed from the earlier media line, but a few are redone for consistency.

The 1994 episodes are:
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Hiragana (すすめ!ゴジランド~ひらがな)
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning How To Count (すすめ!ゴジランド~かず1・2・3).

The 1996 episodes are:
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Addition (すすめ!ゴジランド-ゴジラとあそぼう たしざん)
Recommended! Godzilland – Learning Subtraction (すすめ!ゴジランド ゴジラとあそぼう ひきざん)

The whole Godzilland franchise was seemingly discarded by 1997’s Godzilla Island. There was also a similar line known by several names including Litgodzi Kaizyu Series from Concorde Corp Ltd., which featured “Little Godzilla” and fellow kaiju, which were slightly older and of different designs than Godzilland. These were also mostly 90s films concepts, as Battra, Spacegodzilla, Biollante, and even Desotroyah were present in the merchandise. I do not know of any existing video of this line.

Chibi Godzilla concepts continue to this day, the latest is a series of books, but there are even short videos released from time to time, though the new designs do not match the historic Godzilland concepts.

Enter the Gakken! Gakken is a company that makes educational media for children, and children love giant monsters, so this is a marriage made in heaven. Thus now we got cute Godzilla and pals running around learning basic reading skills or counting while songs and silly graphics play. It’s educational, it’s cheap, it’s weird, it’s Godzilland!

I was planning to cover these anyway this year even before Wakalan Translations translated all of the remaining episodes that didn’t have subtitles right before I started rewatching them to take notes. Check them out as thanks for helping bring content to you, the content consumers!

Monster Roll Call!

Godzilla – Godzilla is the hero of the story and the guy most likely to bring you food but then eat all the food in front of you and then get confused as to why you are upset, and then bring you more food to make up for that but also then accidentally eat all of that food! Anyway, he somehow gets more immature over the 4 episodes despite learning all sorts of factual information of reading and arithmetic. Despite all this, Godzilla is still a better friend than series villain Mechagodzilla.
Rodan – Rodan is Godzilla’s friend but also a big fan of eating. Everyone on this show likes to eat, but not everyone likes to become an addition sign, so Rodan at least has that part covered! He’s also very competative, but is one of the few kaiju who isn’t always crushing on Gojirin when she shows up.
Anguirus – Godzilla’s best friend and constant arguing companion. Anguirus and Godizilla are very similar, to the point where neither of them know the basic reading and writing skills that the series is focused on. Mostly because they are too busy fighting each other or eating to bother to learn anything. And they have no parents. Anguirus crushes on Gojirin.
Baragon – While Godzilla spends most of his time hanging out with Anguirus, Baragon is often around, but usually ignored or observing from a distances. I’m sure we’ve all had people who were on the peripheral of our friends group who never got quite meshed in, that is Baragon here. He crushes on Gojirin and helps drive up the competition between him, Godzilla, and Anguirus over her.
Ms. Mothra – The adult Mothra is usually addressed as an adult by the other kaiju kids, and in the first series iteration she has two Mothra Larva babies of her own. She takes on a motherly approach to the kaiju kids and is the one who leads the teaching of reading, counting, and basic math skills, assisted by the other kaiju who know the subject matter already.
Mothra Larva #1 – Ms. Mothra has two babies, who seem to be pretty much toddlers in maturity when compared to the other kaiju kids, who are about 5. By the second series iteration we only see one of the Mothra Larva, possibly to keep children from being confused when one of them becomes the subtraction symbol.
Mothra Larva #2 – There were two Mothra Larvae but suddenly there was only one in the last two episodes. Mystery! Does Mothra Larva #2 cease to exist, or were they just off camera during the last two episodes? Maybe they went to visit Chuck Cunningham?
King Ghidorah – King Ghidorah somehow isn’t the biggest jerk on the series, or isn’t even seeming to be a villain in any way, he’s just one of the kaiju kids, except one with three heads. On occasion he dresses up and sings, each head getting a purple polka-dot bow tie and sunglasses. The writers just seem to have fun with his character being goofy, but he never really becomes an antagonist and by the second batch of shows is more of a background characters.
Mechagodzilla – Mechagodzilla is one of the newer kids on the show, only appearing in the final two episodes. He usually shows up, demands a character be his friend, intimidates them with violence, then attempts to kidnap them until Godzilla rescues them, usually by answering a bunch of math questions. Mechagodzilla is Jason Sudeikis in Colossal decades earlier!
Gojirin – A female Godilla, Gojirin is just the feminized form of Gojira, thus her unofficial English nickname of Godzilly. She’s pink, has hearts for spines, and has several kaiju boys chasing after her, but she’s her own woman who has her own interests, mainly horticulture and eating. Add in the fact that most of the boys are very bad and doing anything polite or nice for other people and you start to realize why she’s also often angry.
Gigan – Gigan sure is on Godzilland. He doesn’t do anything except appear in the background and crash into King Ghidorah twice due to reusing art assets, but he is real and there enough to get a listing here.
Moguera – Not just Gigan, but Moguera is also running around in the background. There. Just off camera. Oh, look, he was on camera for a second. Not any more. He does dig underground and thanks to reuse of art assets surfaces from a subterranean dig right into a Mothra Larva! Let’s just say the art reuse was Moguera first digging into Mothra Larva #1, and then later Mothra Larva #2. Hey, it could happen! McWorld!
Live-Action Godzilla – Godzilla also appears as a man in a rubber suit but he’s also the same size as human people and seems to live with a lady he calls Big Sister. Godzilla telling tales of Godzilland to Big Sister are the story wraparounds used in the second wave of Godzilland shows. He likes to eat a lot, tell stories, and get embarrassed over past girlfriends. Is a good cook but a better eater. He and Big Sister join in on some of the songs, which you can easily explain away as them excitedly singing the songs while he tells the stories. See, it all makes sense, so it is 100% canon.
Big Sister (???) – Godzilla now lives with a live-action lady that he calls Big Sister, but we never are given her character’s name. They mutually cook food for each other (though Godzilla sometimes eats all of it) and he regales her with stories of his childhood on Godzilland. To the point where she demands the stories, but Godzilla is enough of a braggart he keeps telling them despite being embarrassed. The two also join in on some of the songs because singing about addition and subtraction is cool, don’t you know?

Characters not in the series but with Godzilland-style character models that were used on merchandise, usually in the Cosmic Saurs line:

Minya – Minya exists in Godzilland! This is true despite Godzilla being a small child, somehow also being a father. Let’s not think about this too much, because it is disturbing! Minya is usually depicted as pink, which was fine for years in the 80s in the Comic Saurs line, but with later Godzilland episodes introducing a pink female Godzilla named Gojirin/Godzilly, suddenly this gets even more disturbing. Is she his mom? Did these babies have a baby? Is that why the older, live action Godzilla is embarrassed whenever she is brought up? This mystery must be solved, and the only solution is to revive this line!
Hedorah – The Smog Monster is smogging around, causing trouble is usually pink form. Godzilland Museum mentions that Hedorah seems to be a lady and not a villain in the merchandise, sometimes helping out when there is trouble.
Ebirah – Kids love giant lobsters. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen a small child walking around with a giant lobster toy, bonking it over the head of anyone who dares to take it from him. This is a totally true thing, and not something I’m just making up. Anyway, Ebirah is in some of the old Comic Saurs art and thus graduates to Godzilland even if he didn’t make the cut for the tv show.
Mecha-King Ghidorah – This character was too new to appear on the older Comic Saurs merchandise, but he did appear on the prior Godzilland television series (Adventure! Godzilland and Adventure! Godzilland 2) that were released to promote Godzilla vs Mothra and Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla II. We assume he is just a modified version of the normal King Ghidorah who took Subtraction to its logical conclusion, but was then saved by radical surgery and cybernetics to become the monstrous abomination that we would grow to love, had he appeared in any of the educational episodes. Monster Island Buddies found a good banner with the artwork.
Destoroyah – A 1996 Konica brand Godzilla wall calendar was found with Destoroyah drawn in the style of Godzilland, and that is enough to give him an entry here, because that’s how it works. Appearing on just one thing is not enough to give him a story, but he probably needed to know about trigonometry and thus it was explained to him with the power of song. The calendar had a mix of art styles and covered most of the Heisei series, but as most of the characters were drawn in a different art style we are not going to include them.
Godzilla Jr. – Not only was Destoroyah on that calendar, but so was Godzilla Jr. He was drawn in a slightly different style (the older Godzilland merchandise style), but since Destoroyah was drawn in the new Godzilland style this is the closest we will ever get for Godzilla Jr., so I’m going to count it. That artwork also featured the going nuclear Godzilla, so I guess it then also makes it canon that Godzilland Godzilla dies and this guy replaces him. Poor Big Sister, now who will tell her stories and also eat all of her food?

Special Bonus: Unofficial Other Godzilland Kaiju! Yes, the artist who designed the kaiju (or at least drew them for a lot of the production art) also drew several other kaiju in the same style, including some monsters from the Gamera franchise! This is some amazing stuff, and we got to thank Monster Island Buddies for finding the magazine Godzilla-Gamera Kaiju (1984) where this appeared! This is probably 100% not official, but is included because it is 【COOL AS HECK 円ン壱】

Megalon – It’s Megalon! Most of him! He exists! Quick, someone draw Jet Jaguar! If there is one kaiju that demands to exist in a world of kaiju children, it is Jet Jaguar, who was created by a child and starred in the same child-centric movie! But at least we got this big cockroach to teach us how to count!
Dogora – Dogora from Dagora, the Space Monster (and an episode of Godzilla Island!) proves popular enough to be drawn! Dogora will mind control you so you learn the entire multiplication table, but even his mind control powers can’t help you with fractions, that requires Godzilla himself to help you. Or would if that video existed….
Bat Person – Holy Latitude Zero, Batman, the Bat people are back again in kaiju kid form! Does this mean there is a Godzilland version of Godman??? Such horrors to awaken you shaking at 3 am, covered in sweat and unable to ever sleep again, doomed to go on as the living dead. This guy seems happy, maybe he likes reading?
Barugon – We all remember Barugon as the kaiju who liked rainbows, but now he also likes being a kaiju kid. Good job, Barugon! We know you are definitely not Baragon! Does this mean that these kaiju are living on Gamerand? Gameland? Gamer Land? Or are they just on one of Godzilland’s peninsulas? I bet this guy teaches colors!
Gyaos – Flying Gyaos gets not one, but two drawings of himself in Godzilland mode, making him the breakout star who will surely be getting his own spin-off any day now. Any day…. Without Gamera to keep him in line, I guess Godzilla is just gonna have to fight Gyaos himself!
Viras – As Gamera vs. Viras wasn’t one of the MST3Ked Gamera movies, he is a tier lower in notoriety than the other Gamera villains in the West. As we can see, the Godzilland version sure likes to stand in what might be a Charlie’s Angels pose. Don’t we all?
Guiron – Chop chop, mother fracker! Guiron is here to slice and dice all the other Godzilland pals, so you better watch out and be sure you know how to add before you start getting parts subtracted from your body! It’s mathmatical, baby!

Is your favorite monster not here? Don’t worry, the Godzilland Museum has plenty of fan art of other kaiju done in the same style, if you ever want to know what Godzilland King Caesar would look like (done by automaticmollusk) or even a Godzilland version of Rugrat’s Reptar(done by aboringguy64x), the internet has you covered! Or you can just roll your own!

Be the first to comment - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 29, 2019 at 7:42 pm

Categories: Cinema Articles   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla

aka Gojira Tai Mekagojira aka ゴジラ対メカゴジラ

1974
March of Godzilla 2012
Written by Jun Fukuda, Masami Fukushima, Shinichi Sekizawa, and Hiroyasu Yamamura
Directed by Jun Fukuda

Godzilla, if you take him out of his original package, he’s only going to be worth half as much!

It’s Godzilla time once again at TarsTarkas.NET, as March of Godzilla 2012 continues into April and stomps right up to the fabulous Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla! Yes, Godzilla fights his metal double, other monsters run around and help, and we find out what happens when damn dirty apes get their hand on robot parts!

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla was one of my favorite Godzilla flicks growing up. I vividly remember buying the VHS tape with my own money (as the film was never shown on TV in my area) and the tape box had an awesome painting of Godzilla fighting Mechagodzilla. King Caesar was nowhere to be found on the cover, which did sort of make me sad. But the film totally made up for that, and this tape spent many days grinding away in the vcr, almost as much as my copies of Godzilla’s Revenge and King Kong vs. Godzilla (both taped off of tv the way nature intended!)

There are some who call me…Tim!

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla is a classic Godzilla film and helps trend the trajectory of Godzilla films upwards from the children’s level entertainment Big G had been stuck in. While there is still a largely kid-safe feel to Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla, there are signs of the audience being treated as more mature. Sprays of arterial blood, torture, human characters being blown away onscreen…all things you would be hard-pressed to see with Jet Jaguar running around. Of course, the same year Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla was released, Godzilla was still running around with Zone Fighter violently murdering monsters to the delight of children across Japan. So maybe things aren’t so much mature as they are just bigger budgeted.

They had commercials for energy drinks in 1974 Japan?

Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla succeeds partially because the villain is memorable. It is inevitable if a series goes on long enough that evil doubles will show up. Toho even had their King Kong fight his own mechanical double early on, and it is about time Godzilla got into the mix. It also helps that Mechagodzilla just looks cool. He bristles with weapons and is a danger to the good monsters of Earth. Mechagodzilla worked so well as an adversary to Godzilla, he was later reimagined as a weapon to fight Godzilla in both the Heisei and Millennium film series. But here he is pure evil, a killing machine first seen as a disguised Godzilla brutally injuring Anguirus, one of Godzilla’s best buds. We know things aren’t right, the roar is different, Godzilla is mean. Mechagodzilla is fooling no one except the dopes who actually live in this movie world.

There are some weird contradictions in Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. Most notably, Godzilla himself is an allegory about nuclear weapons and destruction, the hubris and violence. But now things get flipped and instead Godzilla is part of a prophecy of ancient Japan, to defend Japan against a technological monster bent on destruction, with the help of a monster that resembles classical Japanese artwork of a lion/dog. Godzilla is now part of the spiritual order of things, a protector spirit to help save Japan and the world. Just ignore all those films where he kill thousands. Godzilla does not escape his role as hero that has been cast upon him by the later films, and instead is integrated more as something that has always been meant to be a hero. His violent origin is hinted at in the film, when the characters sigh that “Of course Godzilla will be the monster to destroy the world…” but that is quickly thrown aside once the truth is revealed. This is probably the seed of how Godzilla would be treated later in the Heisei and Millennium series, as a force of nature and less of an evil or good monster. It is certainly an improvement over his prior films, where he’d be called in to go beat up the monster of the year.

Planet of the Herpes!

A change of direction was needed, as this was the 20th Anniversary film for the Godzilla franchise and something special should happen. It was also the last Godzilla film directed by Jun Fukuda, the man who helmed many of the films during Godzilla’s descent into children’s hero (and a few episodes of the Zone Fighter series!) Though he would still direct The War in Space and ESPy if you need some more Japanese scifi to track down.

By the time it showed up in the US in 1977, Cinema Shares International (who purchased the distribution rights) had renamed it Godzilla vs. Bionic Monster. That ticked off Universal, who said the title was too close to their TV show The Bionic Woman. Although laughable, Cinema Shares went the easy route and just retitled the film Godzilla vs. Cosmic Monster. By the time it showed up on VHS tape, the Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla name was reattached. And though I could drag out my old VHS copy from storage, instead take some remastered DVD action!

No matter how often they redesign the dollar coin, it will never catch on…

Keisuke Shimizu (Masaaki Daimon) – The elder Shimizu brother who helps defend Earth from those damn dirty space apes! Spends much of his time doubting that Saeko can do much of anything. Not afraid to fight aliens for long periods of time. Masaaki Daimon is also in 2009: Lost Memories and returns in Terror of Mechagodzilla as a different character.
Masahiko Shimizu (Kazuya Aoyama) – Zone Fighter??? What are you doing here? Okay, fine, I guess putting the actor in your monster TV series in your monster movie series makes sense. The younger Shimizu who spends time photographing things and finding space metal in caves.
Saeko Kanagusuku (Reiko Tajima) – A girl! She is not only a girl, but a woman who can translate archeological ruins (but not all the way!) and can’t be trusted to keep secrets. Because records of non-cult Japanese shows are dubious at best, Reiko Tajima seems to disappear after this film except for some anime voicework.
Professor Hideto Miyajima (Akihiko Hirata) – The actor who played Dr. Serizawa makes his required appearance in older Godzilla films. His pipe is partially made out of the fake metal astanopkaron (asutanopukaron if you’re Japanese!) because we needed to invent something weird to throw in that is barely used.
Professor Wagura (Hiroshi Koizumi) – Two brothers visit two different professors because that let’s us pack in many characters so we can shoot around their busy schedules! Professor Wagura can translate even better than Saeko, and that’s what he does. Hiroshi Koizumi also appears in Godzilla: Tokyo S.O.S., Ghidorah the Three-Headed Monster, Godzilla vs. The Thing, Mothra, and Godzilla Raids Again
Godzilla (Isao Zushi) – You may have heard of this Godzilla guy…
Mechagodzilla (Ise Mori) – A Space Ape controlled mechanical double for Godzilla, with many powers and weapons, except the power to not lose to Godzilla.
King Caesar (Momoru Kusumi) – King Caesar lives in a cave and comes out every thousand years to beat up a monster. He’s really lazy.
Anguirus (Momoru Kusumi) – Anguirus shows up to get beat up by the evil fake Godzilla, to show he’s mean! Anguirus’s defeat is a message that this film ain’t going to be like Godzilla vs. Gigan or Godzilla vs. Megalon. No, this film will be a bit more darker, a bit more dangerous. And if any of you peeps think that Baragon was originally going to be in this film because Anguirus was digging, I hope you enjoy being wrong, because you are.
Space Aliens (Various) – People say these guys Space Monkey around! At least space monkeys are an improvement over cockroach aliens, but neither hold a candle (or a banana) to the Xilians.
Now hold still and pretend there aren’t wires attached to you!

Read more…

3 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 5, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Categories: Bad, Movie Reviews   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Destroy All Monsters (Review)

Destroy All Monsters

aka Attack of the Marching Monsters aka Kaiju soshingeki

1968

Directed by Ishiro Honda

Godzilla before that first morning coffee.

When I was but a wee lad first learning about the Godzilla experience, catching Super Scary Saturday showings of G-flicks, buying Godzilla films on VHS that weren’t showing up on tv, recording films airing on the local UHF station, I was also reading up on every monster movie related book I could read. My favorites were by a guy named Daniel Cohen*, who wrote such books as Super-Monsters and Science Fiction’s Greatest Monsters, well-read copies of which still lie somewhere in my mom’s attic. There was also another set of books at the library that were neon orange with a book each for Dracula, the Mummy, King Kong, Godzilla, and a few other monsters. The thing was, every library in the area did NOT have the Godzilla book! I was so angry! Imagine 8 year old Tars so mad he purposefully murdered his entire Oregon Trail travel party. Some say I went too far, but they say so only via their gravestone markers…

Manda and Godzilla set up their slot car racers!

But is there a point to that rambling first paragraph? Yes! You see, of the Godzilla flicks and lore of Godzilla flicks, knowledge of a movie containing all sorts of Toho monsters was spread. This mythical, magical movie, had like all sorts of monsters, including monsters I had never heard of, beat the tar out of each other and aliens attack. It was Destroy All Monsters. And it never aired on TV anywhere near me. So sad! It also wasn’t at any video store. Destroy All Monsters became a mocking ghost, forever out of reach. Until one day in college suddenly it was on VHS tape. I was like “HELL YEAH!” and bought me some Destroy All Monsters, watched it, loved it, and now don’t know where the tape is because a DVD version was released shortly thereafter. So yeah. And now I have this cool version, which has the AIP dub merged with a widescreen format custom made by some guy on the internet. Because I’m awesome like that.

Check out this curve, ladies!

Was Destroy All Monsters worth the 14 years of questing to find? Damn straight it was! Though it isn’t perfect, it is entertaining. It’s got alien invasions, an awesome monster fight finale, Akira Kubo, alien chicks in silver hoodies and capes, 1960s astromen costumes in bright primary colors, attempts to make rocket propulsion scientifically accurate, lasers, and Minya! The only thing missing from this film is Don Frye, but he pops up in another flick years later to make it all right.

Gah this water’s too cold! Back to the blanket for me!

Captain Katsuo Yamabe (Akira Kubo) – Captain of the Moonlight SY-3 spaceship along with first officer Okata. Is the designated hero of planet Earth, because he saves the day again and again and again. His sister is Kyoko.
Kyoko Yamabe (Yukiko Kobayashi) – Katsuo’s sister who has just started her new job on Monsterland the day it is invaded by aliens. What awful timing. Spends most of the film under alien control via earrings. Yukiko Kobayashi is an artist now, if I’m using Google correctly and it isn’t a different Yukiko Kobayashi.
Dr. Yoshita (Jun Tazaki) –The old UN science guy who seems to be in charge of the entire world, as he takes command of everything when the aliens invade. Jun Tazaki is in such G films as King Kong vs. Godzilla, Atragon, Godzilla vs. the Thing, Frankenstein Conquers the World, War of the Gargantuas, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, and Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster.
Kilaak Queen (Kyoko Ai) – The Queen of the Kilaaks and the Queen of Fashion. This Space Lady wants to conquer the Earth and make all humans part of the Kilaak tribe. Why? Because!
Dr. Otani (Yoshio Tsuchiya) – Dr. Otani is head of research at Monsterland and is a cool guy. Until he’s mind controlled by the Kilaaks and turns evil! Then he goes all Peter Pan out a window, except he doesn’t have magic fairy dust, so he has a tragic ending. Yoshio Tsuchiya has been seen here before in Son of Godzilla, Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, Godzilla vs. Monster Zero, and Gigantis the Fire Monster.
I save the whales….for dessert!

Monster Roll Call!

Godzilla – Godzilla rules monster island, and is then brain controlled and sent to destroy New York. After being set free, Godzilla figures out who the real bad guys are and blows up the alien base.
Minya – Godzilla’s son is here, proving once again why he is the awesome son. He even delivers the finishing blow to King Ghidorah. How many monsters can claim that?
Mothra – Mothra is only in larva form for Destroy All Monsters, probably because the rotting Mothra moth costume last seen in Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster had deteriorated into a big pile of moth goo.
Rodan – Rodan is a flying jerk who thinks the best way to save the whales is to save them for supper! Oh, and he helps save the Earth after he’s not mind controlled.
Anguirus – Anguirus shows how brave he is here by charging in full speed ahead to take on King Ghidorah. Hooray for Anguirus!
Manda – Manda takes a break from the land of Mu to hang out on Monsterland for a while. See this Manda in Ultra Q as well
Baragon – Baragon is around. Yep. It’s surprising Baragon is in this movie, as the suit was currently being hacked to pieces for use in Ultraman. But they managed to glue him back together for a small cameo.
Gorosaurus – Gorosaurus isn’t just a background monster, he trashes France and does some butt-kicking of King Ghidorah himself! A refugee from King Kong Escapes, Gorosaurus would disappear (except for stock footage) until showing up with a badly decaying monster suit on Ike! Godman, and then on Godzilla Island.
Speiga/Kumonga – Speiga has returned from the dead to be a spider and spit some web. So don’t be hatin’ this spider jerk, because for once he’s sort of good. But he still sucks, so screw ’em!
Varan – Varan flies around in the background of the big fight, then suddenly gets a huge closeup during the final flyby of the film. Oh, Varan, why are you so unbelievable? Varan’s solo other movie appearance has three different versions (Japanese, English, Japanese TV) so it’s like Varan was in four films!
King Ghidorah – King Ghidorah returns, once again under control of some crazy alien race, this time the Kilaaks. Oh, King Ghidorah, why do you keep whoring yourself out to the highest bidder? Have some respect for yourself, you’re a “king” for goodness sakes!
Fire Dragon – Hey, you ain’t a real monster! I want my money back…
Moonbase Mission Control stole it’s color scheme from TarsTarkas.NET!

Read more…

4 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas - March 18, 2011 at 2:12 am

Categories: Bad, Movie Reviews   Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Next Page »