Tag Archives: Star Wars

Star Wars Blu-Ray Deleted Scenes Trailer

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I think Blu-Ray trailers are lame (usually), but here is one that is not. It’s also the first Star Wars thing in years that makes me excited (not counting the RedLetterMedia reviews) It is filled with deleted scenes, many that haven’t been seen before (Mon Calamari pilot, wampa attack, sandstorm, bunker invasion) And best of all, none of it was prequel nonsense! It’s the best news that came out of Comicon. Sure, people have probably seen this, but if you haven’t, here it is, and if you have, see it again.

George Lucas ruins everything – again!

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George Lucas is still on a rampage after destroying his legacy with the prequel trilogy. Beyond the upcoming Star Wars live action TV series Lucas has announced a Star Wars sitcom to be done with the Robot Chicken guys. In addition, there will be another animated Star Wars series for preschoolers. Basically, Lucas doesn’t have enough money and wants more more more. Not that anyone should be surprised after the Christmas Special fiasco. I’ve not cared for any new Star Wars material for years, having been burnt out. But – One good thing has come from the Star Wars Prequels. The reviews of RedLetterMedia. Besides being some of the best film deconstruction criticism ever, they are thoroughly entertaining and even better then the actual movies they are tearing apart. And they have the added benefit of being 1000000 times better than any other video reviewer, putting them all to shame. Which is good, as most of them are horrible on their lonesome. Most YouTube video reviewers are so bad they’ve inspired me to never to video reviews. RedLetterMedia shows that good video reviews are possible. So maybe..one day…

Since part one of the Attack of the Clones review is back up after a dumb copyright claim problem (luckily I downloaded the videos just in case…) here is a link. Not safe for work for language reasons, but you shouldn’t be watching 90 minute videos at work. Without also hiring me at a job where I get paid to watch YouTube!

Check out his other reviews and his website for more cool stuff!

RiffTrax – Empire Strikes Back and Twilight

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It has been far too long since I did an update on RiffTrax, so I’ll just note what they are up to. The next RiffTrax will be The Empire Strikes Back (awesome) and they are working on Twilight, but are reworking it so it will be extra special! Twilight RiffTrax is the film I am waiting for!

empire strikes back RiffTrax

Brazilian Star Wars

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Brazilian Star Wars

aka Os Trapalhões na Guerra dos Planetas aka The Tramps in the War of the Planets

1978
Starring
Renato Aragão as Didi (Hat Guy)
Dedé Santana as Dedé (Dirty Guy)
Zacarias as Zacarias (Black Guy)
Mussum as Mussum (Moe Guy)
Carlos Kurt as Zucco (Vader)
Pedro Aguinaga as Prince Flick (Luke)
Emil Rached as Bonzo (Chewie)

It’s Brazilian Star Wars! Yes, just like Turkish Star Wars, only much much worse. In fact, as Turkish Star Wars becomes a fun film after a spell, Brazilian Star Wars just becomes more and more painful. Noticeably, Brazil does not have a Cunyet Arkin. They don’t have a Harrison Ford, or even a Jabba the Hutt puppeteer. Not even the Wookiee Soft-core Porn and Bea Arthur of The Star Wars Holiday Special. They do have four annoying losers known as Os Trapalhões (aka The Tramps.) The problem with Os Trapalhões is Os Trapalhões. Os Trapalhões just plain sucks. The Tramps are like the Three Stooges, if the Three Stooges never made a funny film, did worse slapstick than a Fatty Arbuckle trial, and used “funny” video editing techniques to speed up or slow down their performance. The Tramps entertained a generation of young people in Brazil, and if you want to know how they turned out, just watch City of God. TarsTarkas.NET takes a brave stand by entering into this world of hopelessness, because we feel it’s our duty to guide you to the promised land on the other side. Our one true hope is this site doesn’t denigrate into a gang-ridden slum.

This film follows in the tradition of Turkish Wizard of Oz and Turkish Star Trek by inserting characters into a popular story. In this case, four characters are dropped into the middle of a “Star Wars”. The Tramps did several films like this, including versions of The Planet of the Apes and The Wizard of Oz. Sadly, we are dragged along for the ride. Os Trapalhões are four members: The one that has Moe’s haircut (Moe Guy), the one that’s a black guy (Black Guy), the one that’s dirty-looking (Dirty Guy), and the one that’s wearing a biker hat (Hat Guy, the main character). Hat Guy is the leader in this film. What are their real names? I could look that information up, but these guys are terrible and after finishing this recap I will be huffing several gallons of gasoline in order to damage my brain enough to forget this experience. I no longer trust repressed memories after Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life. Okay, I lied, I looked up some of it. Hat Guy is really Didi, played by Renato Aragão, who’s second wife grew up watching him on TV. Dirty Guy is played by Dedé Santana (and is known as Dedé.) Black Guy is played by the actor Mussum. Moe Guy is Zacarias. The one good thing about this film is it’s lack of dialogue, which keeps you from having to try to decipher a complicated plot. The version I watched was subtitle-free, but the story is easy to figure out, even though most of the rest of the film is confusing beyond all means of describing. Brazil compensated by adding a revolting disco soundtrack, so the same few beats will repeat over and over again, increasing the torture. We won’t get anywhere by complaining, so let’s get cracking and enter the world of Os Trapalhões na Guerra dos Planetas. Break out your lightsabers, it’s a wretched hive of scum and villainy ahead…


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