Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith (Review)

Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith


2005
Starring
Ewan McGregor as Obi-Wan Kenobi
Natalie Portman as Padmé
Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker
Ian McDiarmid as Chancellor Palpatine/Darth Sideous
Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu

I didn’t want to go over this movie immediately after I saw it, I wanted to give it time to sink in. What is supposed to be the last Star Wars film ever (at least for the next twenty years.) After some disappointments with Episodes one and Two, disappointments meaning Episode One was HORRIBLE, and Episode Two could have been saved by some decent editing, we get the finale of the Prequel Trilogy, the end of the beginning. From the previews coming down before footage was released some signs were good, the rumors of it being dark, the rumors of the PG-13 rating, the knowledge of certain people dying because they just weren’t in the Original Trilogy. There were some bad rumors as well: Chewie helping birth the twins, Yoda farting, Jar Jar not being horribly killed, and Lucas still directing. The end result? It was actually pretty good, all things considered.

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Star Wars: Revelations (Review)

Star Wars: Revelations


2005
Starring
Frank Hernandez as Declan
Gina Hernandez as Taryn Anwar
Karen Hammang as Zhanna
Shane Felux as Cade

Available free: Official Site

Star Wars is one of the most popular creations in the history of mankind. As it follows, Star Wars is also one of the most popular subjects for fan filming ever. From the humble beginnings with Hardware Wars, to the magnificent Troops, Star Wars has a rich, wonderful history of fan created cinema to enrich it’s already overflowing tapestry. As the coming of Episode III and the last Star Wars film ever (for now) approaches, let us go over a recent fan release, what is one of the most ambitious fan projects to date. Set between Episodes III and IV, this project is rich with well done effects, elaborate costuming, and a budget of unimaginable proportions for a non-profit fan project. Does it all come together? Or will this end in tears, horror, and Chewbacca ripping of arms? Let’s find out.


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Star Wars Holiday Special (Review)

Star Wars Holiday Special


1978
Starring
Mark Hamill as Luke Skywalker
Harrison Ford as Han Solo
Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia Organa
Anthony Daniels as C-3PO
Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca
James Earl Jones as Darth Vader

Not a movie, but easily the most bootlegged video in the galaxy, and also easily makes Episode I look like Citizen Kane. Heck, it makes Turkish Star Wars look like Citizen Kane! No small feat, to say the least. This relic from the seventies is ripe with long, trippy musical sequences that would bore any child into submission. The regulars from Star Wars act as though they were carved from floorboards minutes before the cameras started rolling, a few of who are also full of more drugs than East Hollywood. Guest stars litter the special, some annoying (Art Carney) and some terrifying (Harvey Korman) and Bea Arthur, who should have known better. The holiday we are celebrating is “Life Day” and is a Wookiee holiday, the plot of the special involves getting Chewbacca home in time to see his family. Would our only exposure to Star Wars be this project, we would all be cheering for the Emperor to execute all the rebels and display their heads on the hood of his private shuttle. This is bad. Real bad. Mean bad. Watching this is a war. Not a Star War, a Nuclear War, and the Fallout and Waste is what is left of your brain at the end.


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Turkish Star Wars (Review)

Turkish Star Wars

aka Dunyayi kurtaran adam

1982

Starring

Cuneyt Arkin as ??? (Never Caught his name)
Aytekin Akkaya as Ali
??? as The Wizard

Star Wars. One of the greatest movies ever made. It inspired an entire generation of film makers. An icon. And now, a low budget Turkish Rip-off! Yes, the Turkish have gotten a hold of Star Wars and yanked scenes for their own space fantasy extravaganza. As you may expect, it is quite a different movie, full of bad costumes and nonsensical plot. Imagine the biggest trainwreck you can possibly imagine. This is so…so…so Turkish Star Wars that you will ignore the gigantic trainwreck to catch a glimpse of this feature. I managed to get a subtitled version, and yet most of the plot still makes little or no sense. This is a long one, as a lot happens, and many things are confusing, frustrating, or just insane. But it’s a Hell of a ride.



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