The Chronicles of Rick Roll shows that just when you think mankind might be moving on to a better world, you’re wrong and hell and we’re all gonna die! 2012 and the end can’t get here soon enough! Nuke it all, nuke everyone, from A to Z. From Aaron A. Aaronson to Zachary Z. Zzaaronson. Nuke the world, and nuke it again. Just to make sure.
The Chronicles of Rick Roll is a concept trailer where someone who got a hold of Tosh.0’s email contact list got a bunch of viral video people together to make a horrible film, this concept trailer being used to get more money. I was sad that I recognized so many faces in the trailer, but when i saw the expanded cast list I became happy that I recognized so few! So hooray for me! But BOOOOO! for everyone, because The Chronicles of Rick Roll will probably get the $8 they need to turn this film into a reality. Where it will be released on YouTube. And get less views than a kitten playing with string.
Cast includes: Antoine Dodson (Bed Intruder), The Double Rainbow guy, Ben Schultz (Leeroy Jenkins), Stephen Quire (Freakout Kid), Mark Hicks (Afro Ninja), Catie Wayne (Boxxy), Matt Sloan & Aaron Yonda (Chad Vader), Tay Zonday (Chocolate Rain), Michael Copper (Copper Cab), David DeVore (David After Dentist), Judson Laipply (Evolution of Dance), and Ted Williams (Man with the Golden Voice)
Somehow this is a real movie and not an internet joke. We have a reimagining of Moby Dick, except with dragons, and a land boat (?!), and a scarred Danny Glover with Vinnie Jones also running around for some reason. I am sure someone thought this was an awesome idea at some time, but it isn’t this person. I think had they ditched the land boat thing it would have been less ridiculous looking.
The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with THIS MOVIE IS POISON!
Yes, Kuky Returns, a film you have never heard of unless you follow news on cult movie sites that have suddenly taken an interest in it, will be awesome. A stop-motion-ish children’s film about a stuffed bear and his return to his child owner who was forced to lose the bear due to asthma. Thus, Kuky the bear gets involved in a magical adventure with all sorts of crazy stuff. I haven’t bothered to pay attention to Czech film much due me already having too many countries that I pay attention to. But I’ll pay attention to this film. And you should too.