Tag Archives: SciFi Channel

Sharknado Week on SyFy!

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Sharktopus

Coming at you 7 tentacles a week!


[adrotate banner=”1″]As summer begins to heat up (puns like this are why they pay me the big bucks!), SyFy is breaking out the original films again, now accompanied by lots of marketing gimmicks for maximum saturation of targeted audience age ranges. On that note, the Sharknado rocket blasts off again with the announced Sharknado Week, which will feature not only Sharknado 2, but the first of the new Sharktopus sequels, and the SyFy premiere of Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark! The full PR release is below, complete with all the information you need to make Sharknado Week on SyFy the best Sharknado Week ever! Don’t forget that the RiffTrax crew are doing their special event on Sharknado on July 10th!

HIGHLIGHTS OF SYFY’S SHARKNADO WEEK (ALL TIMES ET/PT)

Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark – Saturday, July 26 at 9PM – When the U.S. government creates an exact robotic copy of the original mega shark, this new mecha shark runs wild – with only the original mega shark standing in the way of global destruction. A production of The Asylum, the movie stars Christopher Judge (Stargate SG1) and Elisabeth Rohm (American Hustle). TV movie.

Sharkmania: The Top 15 Biggest Baddest Bloodiest Bites – Premieres Sunday, July 27 at 9PM – This original documentary special takes a light-hearted look back at the 15 best shark movie bites of all time. Comedians, actors and celebrities including Ian Ziering, Brooke Hogan, Richard Moll, Downtown Julie Brown and Mark McGrath discuss their favorite scenes – fun, ridiculous and frightening – from classic shark movies such as Jaws to the outrageous Sharktopus and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. A production of Associated Television International. Executive producer: Jim Romanovich. Producers: Dan Goldman, David Stephan. Consulting producer: Robert Corsini.

Sharknado 2: The Second One – Wednesday, July 30 at 9PM – In Sharknado 2: The Second One, the sequel to last summer’s global pop culture sensation, a freak weather system turns its deadly fury on New York City, unleashing a Sharknado on the population and its most cherished iconic sites – and only Fin (Ian Ziering) and April (Tara Reid) can save the Big Apple. The movie, directed by Anthony C. Ferrante from a screenplay by Thunder Levin, also stars Mark McGrath, Kari Wuhrer, Vivica A. Fox and Judah Friedlander, with cameo appearances including Kelly Osbourne, Judd Hirsch, Perez Hilton, Matt Lauer, Al Roker, Andy Dick, Robert Klein, Sandra “Pepa” Denton, Biz Markie, Downtown Julie Brown, Richard Kind and Kurt Angle, among others. Sharknado 2: The Second One is a production of The Asylum.

Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda – Sunday, August 2 at 9PM – In this new Roger Corman movie, the child of Sharktopus goes toe-to-toe with the latest science experiment “Pteracuda” – half Pteradactyl, half Barracuda – in a battle for monster supremacy. A production of New Horizons Pictures, the movie stars Robert Carradine (Django Unchained) and Katie Savoy (Living with Models).

Via Deadline

Asylum’s Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys trailer

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Blood Lake Attack of the Killer Lampreys

Needs more blood and more lake


[adrotate banner=”1″]The trailer for Asylum’s Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys has been posted by Entertainment Weakly, which deserves the derisive nickname for assigning the article to a writer who doesn’t even know what the heck a lamprey is, and spends a whole paragraph copying from Wikipedia. Good job there, that money you saved from firing your film critics is paying off in dividends, EW!

But enough complaining about failing media juggernauts, Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys is one of the creature feature films that will be premiering on Animal Planet (speaking of failing media juggernauts…), which has decided that nature can go screw itself and fake reality shows and killer monster movies are the future of nature documentaries. Sadly, the ratings are proving them right (okay, so they aren’t failing, just failing in their mission!)

Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys stars Shannon Doherty, Christopher Lloyd, and Jason Brooks. Brooks and Doherty are Mike and Cat, who have moved to the new town so Mike can help Mayor Akerman (Lloyd) deal with the lampreys. Yada yada yada, swipe from Jaws and bring buckets of blood. Blood Lake: Attack of the Killer Lampreys airs May 25th. More information on Animal Planet’s sudden interest in becoming SyFy is available here.

via EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Sharknado 3 and Sharknado vinyl!

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Sharknado pop vinyl
[adrotate banner=”1″]Sharknado Sharknado Sharknado! Yes, it’s true, the SyFy disasterpiece Sharknado will be a trilogy, Asylum has confirmed it. That’s about all they confirmed this far out, expect it to air summer 2015 on SyFy. No word on if that will be the only original movie on SyFy in 2015, as 2014 is turning out to be a drought year for creature features. Other companies need to get into the monsters in tornadoes genre if they want any hope of being on television. (Actually, please don’t do that, other companies!)

Sharknado 2 airs July 31, 2014 on SyFy.

If you like vinyl figures and Sharknadoes, then you will love the Sharknado vinyl from Funko/Pop! Vinyl, which comes out in June.

Via Adweek

Get grabbed by Bermuda Tentacles on SyFy!

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Bermuda Tentacles SyFy Asylum
[adrotate banner=”1″]Holy guacamole, SyFy Saturday Creature Features are returning! You might have noticed how we haven’t mentioned a SyFy Original Movie premiere at all in 2014, and that’s not because we’ve just been too darn lazy to write about them. It’s because there hasn’t been any! Until now! April 12th will be the first of the year, with Bermuda Tentacles! Asylum are the people to thank for this masterpiece, starring Linda Hamilton.

When Air Force One goes down over the Bermuda Triangle, the Navy sends its best rescue team. But in saving the President, the team awakens a monster which threatens America’s entire Eastern Seaboard and, ultimately, the world.

A nice return to the monster mayhem. The only image so far of the monster make it look like Doctor Octopus’ tentacles have come alive! I’ll also make the required “Why isn’t this tentacle monster near Japan?” joke that everyone is thinking. Now you have to come up with an all-new joke, buddy! Never fear, Jamie Kennedy will be in the film as well. I’m not sure if he’s the monster or the president or a tentacle, but Kennedy is a master of disguise and will probably play all three roles.

Hopefully this will lead to more SyFy Original Movies airing, or else I’ll be stuck writing about Lifetime Channel (which isn’t that bad…) The ratings for original movies last year were not spectacular (though you could argue moving them to Thursdays also didn’t help!), even Sharknado didn’t get killer ratings until the second of third time it aired, despite huge social media awareness. The solution is to be a Nielsen family and get the ratings for SyFy. Or, find someone who is a Nielsen family, and then eat them to become them, and then watch Bermuda Tentacles. It’s really the same thing, because us average Joes don’t count.

via SyFy

Piranhaconda (Review)

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Piranhaconda

piranhaconda
2012
Written by Mike MacLean
Concept by J. Brad Wilke
Directed by Jim Wynorski

This won $20,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos!

Piranhaconda is like a mix of SyFy meets the softcore bikini film. Elements of both merge together while director Jim Wynorski returns to his favorite stomping ground of Hawaii. Thankfully, we don’t have a rehash of the Curse of the Komodo/Komodo vs Cobra/A.I. Assault script, and instead have something wholly new. While parts of it may not work, overall Piranhaconda isn’t terrible and gives enough death and destruction to knock it into mid-tier SyFy creature feature region.

Piranhaconda comes from the period where SyFy had begun to run low on monsters that exist in nature/mythology and needed to just combine fierce animals together to create new horrors. Sharktopus is the one that started this trend, which has expanded to include animal/natural disaster hybrids.

piranhaconda

This is a preview video only! Get the full movie with Membership Access of Creatures Sliming Babes.com, only $9.95/mo recurring!


Piranhaconda doesn’t waste time trying to come up with a fantastical origin of the creatures, it just throws out a line or two about how the monsters have always been there and just hibernate a lot. They even grab a supernatural name for their creature – Kepolo, a Polynesian river devil. In reality, the origin of the creatures does not matter, what matters is if things are a grand ol’ time while all the monster action is happening.

Let’s get this out of the way right now. Piranhaconda is a gigantic dong that slithers through the grass and attacks its prey, often spewing goo over the chest of female characters. I think we’ve moved a bit beyond subtext here into hilarity. The two Piranhacondas don’t like each other very well, which isn’t surprising considering what they represent, but they’ve also mated and dropped dozens and dozens of eggs. Throw that into the fake film being a slasher film, which have their own phallic symbols going on, and things reveal themselves nicely. So, yeah. Piranhaconda!

piranhaconda

When we put our heads together…it hurts!


Rose (Terri Ivens) – A producer concerned with work and handling the difficult actress on her film. Figures out all the dumb stuff Lovegrove is doing that’s endangering everyone.
Jack (Rib Hillis) – Jack and Rose, huh? I guess their hearts did go on! A stunt guy with the hots for Rose, Jack helps save the day while avoiding dating Kimmy.
Professor Robert Lovegrove (Michael Madsen) – A herpatologist who has spent his life studying the piranhacondas that killed his dad, and has finally proved they exist just in time to set them loose on a killing spree. What a nice guy!
Kimmy Weston (Shandi Finnessey) – Famous b-movie actress, known for the line “Suck lead, you hillbilly buttnugget!” Shandi Finnessey is very convincing on playing the spoiled brat, adding a charm to the role a lesser actress wouldn’t know what to do with.
Pike (Michael Swan) – Leader of the random heavily armed gang who kidnap several of the characters for “ransom”, despite being so weirdly incompetent their game plant makes little sense.
Talia (Rachel Hunter ) – Female member of the random heavily armed gang who sort of has a thing with Pike. Is one of the smarter members, which means she dies quick so everyone else can do dumb things
Piranhacondas (CGI) – A monster who chomps lots of people and pumps out dozens of eggs in between long hibernation cycles. Also goes in long quests for eggnapped eggs. Piranhacondas can even takes down helicopters. The origin of Kepolo, a Polynesian river devil. Like the creatures in Flying Monkeys, a mythological creature from another culture becomes a star in a Western film with a quick name change for how culture in the West would call them. There are hundreds of awesome monsters in cultural myths from around the globe, enough SyFy could make films for decades just on them alone.

piranhaconda

This happens every day on the 101-N


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Beast Of The Bering Sea / Bering Sea Beast airs Saturday on SyFy!

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[adrotate banner=”1″]SyFy can’t even keep its title renames straight, calling Bering Sea Beast both by its original name, and by the worse name they announced as the retitle – Beast of the Bering Sea. Whichever the title, the premiere is this Saturday, November 9th, on SyFy. I guess we’ll solve the mystery when the title card pops up on screen!

The movie features sea vampires that look like flying manta rays, which makes some goofy imagery in the trailer above. Vampire Manta Rays just want to hug!!

Cassie Scerbo and Jonathan Lipnicki play sibling prospectors who disturb a colony of amphibious sea vampires in an underwater cave. Then people die. Either due to sea vampirism or excess hugging, I am not sure. Probably one of those things.

This looks insane enough I’ll bump it higher on the “things Tars recorded and then hasn’t gotten around to watching” list. Which is pretty long. There is only one more SyFy original movie after this one, Stonados, and then we’ll have to wait for the new year for new monsters!

Beast of Bering Sea

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