Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda (Review)
Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda
2014
Written by Matt Yamashita
Directed by Kevin O’Neill
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Mom! Dad! Why are you fighting! ::bursts into tears::
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Sharktopus was one of the better performing SyFy original movies and helped lead the charge into the fray of combination animals running amok on an unsuspecting populace. As it’s also a Roger Corman production, you know that every last dime is going to get squeezed out of the film. Hence two sequels! Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda is the first of these, essentially the Empire Strikes Back of the trilogy.
But Sharktopus is dead, how can there be another Sharktopus movie? Easy! Thanks to a handy recap of prior events, we learn that Sharktopus was preggers! A shark egg sack is among the pieces of Sharktopus that float out to sea and are quickly caught in a net for a boat being chartered by a Latin America amusement park that has sent it out to find cool stuff in the ocean, and Lorena Christmas discovers the baby Sharktopus 2.0, which she begins to raise.
On the polar opposite side we have another genetically engineered creature built as a weapon with Pteracuda, which has the flight powers of a pterodactyl and the underwater strength of a barracuda. While talk mentions that the US military is probably going to settle on its drone program over these genetically manipulated monstrosities, Dr. Rico Symes is convinced that he can create a creature that is more destructive in air and at sea that can outclass the drones. Things look well, until Pteracuda is almost immediately hijacked and goes berserk.

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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: Akari Endo, Conan O'Brien, Katie Savoy, Kevin O’Neill, Matt Yamashita, Rib Hillis, Robert Carradine, Roger Corman, SciFi Channel, shark attack mania!, Sharktopus, SyFy, Tony Evangelista
Piranhaconda (Review)
Piranhaconda
2012
Written by Mike MacLean
Concept by J. Brad Wilke
Directed by Jim Wynorski
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This won $20,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos!
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Piranhaconda is like a mix of SyFy meets the softcore bikini film. Elements of both merge together while director Jim Wynorski returns to his favorite stomping ground of Hawaii. Thankfully, we don’t have a rehash of the Curse of the Komodo/Komodo vs Cobra/A.I. Assault script, and instead have something wholly new. While parts of it may not work, overall Piranhaconda isn’t terrible and gives enough death and destruction to knock it into mid-tier SyFy creature feature region.
Piranhaconda comes from the period where SyFy had begun to run low on monsters that exist in nature/mythology and needed to just combine fierce animals together to create new horrors. Sharktopus is the one that started this trend, which has expanded to include animal/natural disaster hybrids.

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Piranhaconda doesn’t waste time trying to come up with a fantastical origin of the creatures, it just throws out a line or two about how the monsters have always been there and just hibernate a lot. They even grab a supernatural name for their creature – Kepolo, a Polynesian river devil. In reality, the origin of the creatures does not matter, what matters is if things are a grand ol’ time while all the monster action is happening.
Let’s get this out of the way right now. Piranhaconda is a gigantic dong that slithers through the grass and attacks its prey, often spewing goo over the chest of female characters. I think we’ve moved a bit beyond subtext here into hilarity. The two Piranhacondas don’t like each other very well, which isn’t surprising considering what they represent, but they’ve also mated and dropped dozens and dozens of eggs. Throw that into the fake film being a slasher film, which have their own phallic symbols going on, and things reveal themselves nicely. So, yeah. Piranhaconda!

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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: Amber Malia Laka Ali, Angie Savage, Chris De Christopher, Cynthia Lucas, Diana Terranova, Erika Jordan, giant snake movie, J. Brad Wilke, Jenny Lin, Jim Wynorski, Kurt Yaeger, Michael Madsen, Michael Swan, Mike MacLean, Piranhaconda, Rachel Hunter, Rib Hillis, SciFi Channel, Shandi Finnessey, Syd Wilder, SyFy, Terri Ivens