Sexy Wives Sindrome (Review)
Sexy Wives Sindrome
2011
Written by Steve Goldenberg
Directed by Jim Wynorski (as Sam Pepperman)
Sexy Wives Sindrome IS a Jim Wynorski joint, baby! So it follows all the Wynorski touches that make his films unique, from camera angles that peer around womens’ bustlines to characters acknowledging the camera. That also means we got a whole host of Roobie Breastnut songs making up the soundtrack (and, yes, Pussy Pussy Bang Bang IS in the film!) Additional music is also done by Chuck Cirino, as some of the scenes that use a score to help enhance the mood or are more serious just wouldn’t play right with Roobie Breastnut songs blaring.
The core of Sexy Wives Sindrome is relationship therapists who conduct unorthodox fantasy solutions to couples’ problems, which usually involve a lot of sex, and usually involve the therapist herself in a lot of the sex. You would think this would be a gross violation of ethical practices and cause a whole host of legal issues, but it turns out things are even more weird and bizarre than you could possibly imagine, yet the solution also resolves all the lingering problems. I think it’s hilarious how everything worked out in the end, and how the conclusion basically destroys any long ethical argument I could bring up, hence there won’t really be one for this review. I know, I know, you are all disappointed. You better hope the next one doesn’t have a game-changing twist!
There is plenty of pseudopsychological mumbo jumbo going on to justify some of the relationship issues. It basically boils down to couples loving each other and trying to keep things interesting for each other. You could argue that letting other people into relationships can potentially cause lots of drama, but let’s face it, these couples are all pretty much swingers anyway, so they know the score.
The title Sexy Wives Sindrome comes from the made up syndrome discovered by one of the characters about how men become afraid of their attractive wives because they are so attractive and the men just can’t handle the possibility of losing them. None of that is really worked into the relationships in the film, but it’s the title so it’s important.
But enough about your Psych 101 class, it’s time for the Roll Call!

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Piranhaconda (Review)
Piranhaconda
2012
Written by Mike MacLean
Concept by J. Brad Wilke
Directed by Jim Wynorski
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This won $20,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos!
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Piranhaconda is like a mix of SyFy meets the softcore bikini film. Elements of both merge together while director Jim Wynorski returns to his favorite stomping ground of Hawaii. Thankfully, we don’t have a rehash of the Curse of the Komodo/Komodo vs Cobra/A.I. Assault script, and instead have something wholly new. While parts of it may not work, overall Piranhaconda isn’t terrible and gives enough death and destruction to knock it into mid-tier SyFy creature feature region.
Piranhaconda comes from the period where SyFy had begun to run low on monsters that exist in nature/mythology and needed to just combine fierce animals together to create new horrors. Sharktopus is the one that started this trend, which has expanded to include animal/natural disaster hybrids.

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Piranhaconda doesn’t waste time trying to come up with a fantastical origin of the creatures, it just throws out a line or two about how the monsters have always been there and just hibernate a lot. They even grab a supernatural name for their creature – Kepolo, a Polynesian river devil. In reality, the origin of the creatures does not matter, what matters is if things are a grand ol’ time while all the monster action is happening.
Let’s get this out of the way right now. Piranhaconda is a gigantic dong that slithers through the grass and attacks its prey, often spewing goo over the chest of female characters. I think we’ve moved a bit beyond subtext here into hilarity. The two Piranhacondas don’t like each other very well, which isn’t surprising considering what they represent, but they’ve also mated and dropped dozens and dozens of eggs. Throw that into the fake film being a slasher film, which have their own phallic symbols going on, and things reveal themselves nicely. So, yeah. Piranhaconda!

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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: Amber Malia Laka Ali, Angie Savage, Chris De Christopher, Cynthia Lucas, Diana Terranova, Erika Jordan, giant snake movie, J. Brad Wilke, Jenny Lin, Jim Wynorski, Kurt Yaeger, Michael Madsen, Michael Swan, Mike MacLean, Piranhaconda, Rachel Hunter, Rib Hillis, SciFi Channel, Shandi Finnessey, Syd Wilder, SyFy, Terri Ivens