Room in Rome

Room in Rome

aka Habitación en Roma
Room in Rome
2010
Written by Julio Medem
Screenplay by Julio Rojas
Directed by Julio Medem

Room in Rome

“Loving strangers” – repeated lyric of reoccurring song

The trailer for Room in Rome hit the net and people went nuts, because here is a movie about two lesbians who are nude for most of the film having sweet lesbian sex. That whole story about people going to watch art house foreign films just for nudity seemed to apply once again, in the age of the internet and ease to access of nakedness like never before. It was a weird phenomenon. Room in Rome turned out to be a film about two women and their relationship during one night, filled with far more talking than lovemaking (though there is plenty of that as well). Expectations shattered, the buzz from the nudity excitement crowd died down, and what is left is a nice love story that’s probably 20 minutes too long.

The length issue has lead to a reputation that Room in Rome is boring (which I’ve found to be a common complaint of lesbian cinema for some reason). That might be a reaction to the characters constantly bringing up philosophical quotes and European history discussions that will fly over the heads of most viewers. I guess I’m weird because I didn’t mind them, though I question how long you can realistically keep up such highbrow discussion.
Room in Rome
Room in Rome flows beyond two strangers just having a one night’s stand before returning to their own lives. Their brief fling becomes an entire romance, and a lifetime of love flies by in that one night. Both characters know that what they have will not last past the break of day. The length does help spread out the approach of daylight. We all know that the morning is coming, and the passion and feelings we are witnessing will have to end, the two women returning to their lives. The spectre of morn haunts through the night, Alba and Natasha both reacting their own way to the upcoming emotional bomb.

Alba (Elena Anaya) – Alba lives in Spain with her partner, and works as an engineer designing light vehicles. She is unhappy in her relationship and more likely to do rash things without thinking.
Natasha (Natasha Yarovenko) – Natasha is a Russian woman in Italy for a vacation before she gets married and settles down. Most of her life has been a privileged journey that’s unusual because she’s marrying someone who is only middle class. She rarely takes risks, which is why the night is so out of character for her.

Room in Rome
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Emmanuelle the Private Collection: Sex Talk

Emmanuelle the Private Collection: Sex Talk

 Emmanuelle Sex Talk
2003?
Written and directed by Jean-Jacques Lamore (pretty sure this is Alain Siritzky)
Loosely based on a character created by Emmanuelle Arsan

 Emmanuelle Sex Talk

A rubdown is needed after enduring a lecture about all the various Emmanuelle series…


Every few years that is a new Emmanuelle series, each iteration becoming more and more removed from the source novel and films to the point where the only connection is the name. Emmanuelle has had all sorts of adventures all over the world (and like all good franchises, she both went to space and fought Dracula!) As it can get time consuming and expensive to track down all copies of all the Emmanuelle series, it’s often more efficient to just pick one to represent the whole group. Especially since the guy who has been churning out Emmanuelle series (and other similar softcore series), Alain Siritzky, sometimes makes the films so they can be edited into either half hour episodes or full movies.

Each Emmanuelle series has their own star as Emmanuelle. The original Emmanuelle was Sylvia Kristel, who was in four of the original Emmanuelle films and played an older Emmanuelle in at least on television series. Prior Emmanuelle series include the Emmanuelle 2000 run, which starred Holly Sampson as Emmanuelle (and we reviewed sample film Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle in Paradise). The most famous series among cable aficionados are the Emmanuelle In Space films, which starred future Baywatch actress Krista Allen. The most recent series starred Allie Haze (as Brittany Joy), but you can rest assured that Emmanuelle will never die.

Natasja Vermeer played Emmanuelle in the Emmanuelle: The Private Collection series, of which Emmanuelle: Sex Talk is a member. Emmanuelle has been played as a brilliant super charismatic well-connected hero who swooped in to solve the problems of whichever couples were nearby. This Emmanuelle is less of a genius who solves problems, but she’s still considered the center of attention. We know this more because the film tells us, instead of us seeing it in action. From the way I explained it, you can tell that she doesn’t come off as very knowledgeable at all. In fact, Emmanuelle becomes more of a mystery as to why anyone even knows her. This is not helped by the subplot of giving Emmanuelle a mystery of her own to figure out (and I will freely admit it may be hurting the attempts to make her appear smart in my eyes.)

 Emmanuelle Sex Talk

Another Emmanuelle history lesson victim!


The Emmanuelle: The Private Collection series of Emmanuelle films are filled with vignettes that are told either by flashback, or by radio callers who tell them to Brittany O’Dell. These are scenes that have no connection to the film aside from sporadic narration, and were filmed with a different style of digital camera. The look of the actors and the lack of any spoken words leads me to believe the scenes are from overseas somewhere in Europe, and I don’t know if they were filmed specifically for the Emmanuelle films or were something the production company acquired and threw in to save some dough. I do know that they were rather weird. Something about them were just off, I can’t really explain it.

Natasja Vermeer recorded some of the songs that were used in the Emmanuelle: The Private Collection series, for those of you who are soundtrack trivia buffs.

Emmanuelle (Natasja Vermeer) – Never fear, Emmanuelle is here, and things are about to get sexy. Emmanuelle is on a journey for stuff to happen around her, and also she gets a mysterious letter and random sex nymphs visit her, but beyond that, much of the action happens outside of Emmanuelle’s worldview.
Brittany O’Dell (Angela Nicholas as Angela Davies) – Radio host who has a deranged stalker, which is somehow sexy and not incredibly disturbing. And she’s friend with Emmanuelle.
Lisa (Valerie Baber) – Emmanuelle’s massage partner (and more!) whose boyfriend wants to have a threesome. That eventually happens. Valerie Baber is now an author and sex journalist

 Emmanuelle Sex Talk

Wait, HOW many different Emmanuelle films???


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Housewives from Another World

Housewives from Another World

Housewives from Another World
2010
Written and directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)

Housewives from Another World

Yes, it is all so clear now how Honey Boo-Boo is a good show.


It’s been far too long. We need an application of Fred Olen Ray, STAT! Thankfully, Housewives From Another World is here to deliver us from the torment, the torment of not seeing one of Ray’s bikiniverse films on TarsTarkas.NET recently. Don’t laugh, this is a recognized medical condition. In that I edited it into a Wikipedia article on medical conditions before I was banned for “trolling”. But how is spreading knowledge trolling? Wikipedia is the true monster.

Housewives From Another World features invading aliens who possess some local women in hopes of sabotaging a satellite launch to prevent a war that ends up destroying their species. These women never regain control of their bodies, and are essentially dead. The aliens would declare that it’s all in the name of saving countless lives. So a moral choice is presented: Is it worth killing a few innocent people in order to prevent a genocide? Obviously, the aliens have made their choice. But did they really have to kill the women as they gain control of their bodies? And why not just gain control of Max, the designer of the satellite, and use his knowledge to sabotage all chances of it being launched?

Housewives from Another World

Oh, great, someone wake up Bruce Willis…


It’s also interesting so see that the aliens travel back in time to Earth, instead of going to warn their own people to get them prepared. Or maybe they do, we just don’t see those characters. After all, some of the alien women leave at the end (with Max), and they must be going somewhere. The aliens may have advanced technology, but they have dubious planning skills (unless their technology only allows them to travel to Earth in the past!) and who knows what their time meddling may have done to history. Technology from the satellite may have saved the galaxy at some point, but the whole thing is tossed to save their skins. And let’s not even talk about how this would be a minor setback at best, human technology can easily catch up and eclipse the work of one man. Though that might mean the time sequence to discovery and war is very quick, perhaps enough that they will be able to develop defenses (heck, there might even be a Team B that is warning their own homeworld!) or even arming their own side, who may come to conquer Earth instead.

These ethical and mysterious quandaries add intrigue to Housewives From Another World. Also there are naked people who have sex.

Housewives from Another World

Cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night


Max (Frankie Cullen) – Works on the Orion Deep Space Satellite when he’s not cheating on his wife, Karen. Is the best worker in the program, and the boss constantly talks about how cool his is.
Karen (Heather Vandeven) – Max’s loving wife, who is less than loving when she finds he’s been cheating around. Finds a meteor crater in a drunken stupor and is taken over by aliens from a distant world who are working to sabotage the Orion Deep Space Satellite to save countless lives.
Carla (Christine Nguyen) – Fellow worker on the Orion satellite, but she’s nowhere near as good at her job as Max. Dreamy Max… But at least she’s better than Tom! Gets meteored last of the three female characters.
Rita (Rebecca Love) – Unbright neighbor to Max and Rita, easily convinced to hop into bed with Max. Gets meteored and suddenly is much smarter. Because she’s an alien, and not Rita.
Tom (Billy Chappell as Tony Marino) – Oh. This guy.
Mr. Roberts (Ted Newsom) – Boss at the satellite company, he really rides his employees to do their all, but only Max is good enough to get anything done.
Undercover Agent (Ron Ford) – This totally cool looking guy who is trying to buy the satellite plans off of Tom for suitcases of cash is definitely not an undercover agent for the FBI.

Housewives from Another World

This is the only shower in all of LA!


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Friday Killer

Friday Killer

aka หมาแก่อันตราย
Friday Killer
2011
Directed by Yuthlert Sippapak
Friday Killer
The first film in Yuthlert Sippapak’s Killer Trilogy (Mue Puen 3-Pak), Friday Killer was released second (after Saturday Killer), and as of this writing Sunday Killer is still MIA, Sippapak having released three other films in the meanwhile. Friday Killer has a better central story, but it is bogged down by too many side stories, giving Saturday Killer a slight edge overall in my eyes. Both films are recommended, Saturday Killer being more comedic and romance focused, while Friday Killer is more of a bleak drama with a pessimistic outlook on life.

Friday Killer opens with the old hitman being interviewed scene from Saturday Killer, cementing the connection between the two parts, before jumping to flashback. The rest of this scene plays out later in the film, though most of the action is by peripheral characters and not the father and daughter that is the focus. Most of the action scenes are well done, and Sippapak makes creative use of different decorative environments for the gun battles. The abandoned construction sites and empty deserts help to enforce the bleakness of the central story line.
Friday Killer
Unfortunately, there were no subtitles on the dvd we got, but at TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles!

Pae Thasai (Suthep Po-ngam) – Recently released from jail, killer Pae Thasai is nicknamed Pae Uzi (for his weapon of choice) or “The Eagle of Chantaburi” (because everyone needs a bird nickname!) He gets involved in drama before he even leaves the front area of the prison! Pae returns to his killer lifestyle while absorbing the knowledge he has a daughter he never knew, who is now tracking him due to mistaken identity.
Dao (Ploy Jindachote) – Police officer and unknowing daughter of Pae, who instead believes he killed her stepfather and spends the film hunting him down. Dao dresses as a tough guy demeanor – black leather clothes, motorcycle – despite being filled with doubts.
Petch (Apinya Sakuljaroensuk) – Dao’s photographer girlfriend who has a childlike and innocent demeanor, especially when compared to Dao’s more serious and driven tone. Petch keeps her grounded in reality, without her Dao would just get absorbed in her job and quest.

Friday Killer
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The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I.

The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I.


2007
Written and directed by Fred Olen Ray (as Nicholas Medina)

The Girl from Bikini
I keep mine next to my Merry Marvel Marching Society card!

In TarsTarkas.NET’s quest to eventually get around to things, several Fred Olen Ray Bikini flicks are on the bucket list. So let’s begin to empty said bucket(which sadly had been buried beneath a pile of thousands of buckets filled with thousands of lists since 2004!) The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I. is the first of the Tanya X movies (so first that she’s called Tania X here!), which went on to have two sequels (Bikini Royale and Bikini Royale 2) and a webseries that I believe was edited into another film. But this is the one that started it all.

The Girl from Bikini
Attica! Attica!

The Girl from B.I.K.I.N.I.‘s biggest problem is the date rape sequence. I’ve watched enough of these types of films that I know that slipping a woman some drugs that makes her super-horny is occasionally a thing, but here it’s done in an ultra-sleazy manner and Tanya wakes up with memory loss the next day. It’s disturbing.

Something that is interesting is the scene where Mong Lee (played by white actor Evan Stone), a sort of white warrior servant who wears mixed Asian combat garb, dresses in yellowface as a super stereotypical Asian person, right down to greasy black hair, ridiculous Coke-bottle glasses, and buck teeth. He wears the disguise over his own clothes, which bulge out from underneath, and it is insanely obvious that he is not what he appears to be. Needless to say, the disguise works. The thing is, is this disguise racist, or is the character using Asian stereotypes that the heroes fall for to his advantage to do his job, despite not being Asian? And if so, would that make the heroes racist, and Mong Lee someone who takes advantage of the ignorance of the masses? These are the questions asked by so many people watching these Skinimax flicks at 2am!

The Girl from Bikini
Mission: Impossible 5 was almost as bad as Mission: Impossible 2!

While the problems all go away by the next Tanya X adventure, we must discuss them, because them’s the rules. The spy genre’s campy nature makes it a ripe ground for parodies, allowing the adding of fantastic elements in addition to the expected hot babes in little clothing. The genre’s mainstream acceptance also means there will be spy erotic parodies for decades to come. Heh-heh-heh, I said “come!”

Tania X (Beverly Lynne) – Secret agent of B.I.K.I.N.I., put on the case to track down who is interfering with the Sensible Satellite Radio signals.
Mr. Whatley (Brad Bartram) – The boss of B.I.K.I.N.I., at least until the next film…
Mark Ten (Voodoo/Alexandre Boisvert) – Agent of the CIA who becomes part of the case as he’s tangentially related with his bodyguard duties.
Samantha Rhinehart (Rebecca Love) – Heir to the Rhineheart family that owns Sensible Satellite Radio, is a nymphomaniac (the best kind of maniac!) Was being guarded by Mark Ten, who brought her along when he teamed up with Tania X to find out what’s going on.
Patty Mercury (Nicole Sheridan) – Stripper who knows of information concerning the jamming of agent satellite feed. All strippers are well versed in satellite communications information. That and clear high heels.
Mong Lee (Evan Stone) – Fay Wong’s servant Evan Stone’s wacky costume this movie is vaguely Japanese warrior garb. How did this warrior come into service of Fay Wong? That is a tale that is for you to write!
Fay Wong (Gianna Lynn) – Tong warlord and secret mastermind behind the plot to control agent radio signals. Not sure why, because this plan won’t make any money and will just put a target on her back from every spy agency in the world.
Randolph Davis (Randy Spears) – Rich businessman who is up to nefarious deeds for cash. He’s also a date rapist, so fuck this guy!
Kim Chee (Lacie Heart) – Fay Wong’s lady friend that she does lady friendly things with, those lady friendly things being sexual in nature.
Nikita (Anthony Hardwood) – That show Nikita is pretty good, and the other, earlier show was also good. And the movies are various levels of good. This Nikita isn’t a show or movie, but is a Russian agent who gets caught in Tania X’s web of seduction. And then caught in her right hook.
The Girl from Bikini
The Mime from BIKINI!

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Naked Lust

Naked Lust


2009
Written by Abe Froman
Directed by Demitri Nessun

Naked Lust
This is how 50 Shades of Grey begins!

Naked Lust is hardly the sex-o-maniac nypho party the title implies, but is in fact a more sweet story of a woman attempting to reconnect with her first school crush that she was unable to go to the dance with due to life. It’s also a story about a pop princess looking to be inspired so she can write some hit songs, and her lovable goofball manager who would do anything for her. And probably some junk about the media, though most of that hits the back burner. In any even, it’s actually pretty entertaining. And it should be, since Naked Lust was written by Abe Froman. The sausage king of Chicago. This may be a pseudonym… Director Demitri Nessun also helmed Cougar School.

Naked Lust
This is what to do when the Naked Lust comes for you!

Naked Lust has a good balance of a story that is interesting (if extended), likable actors, and plenty of scenes that are the reason this plays at late night on Cinemax and not on Lifetime. While relying on a nostalgia-fueled fantasy for a plot point, the film and the main character comes to the realization that the fantasy is just a fantasy, and people move on and evolve. Therefore she embraces her reality and everyone gets a happy ending.

Naked Lust
He’s turning into that scene from Innerspace! Also why am I referencing Innerspace?

Cherry Pop (Kaylani Lei) – Cherry Pop is the current most famous pop star ever, but she needs to come out with another song before she’s replaced by the next young thing to come along. She was originally named Carla. Kaylani plays Cherry Pop like a slightly burnt out but still light-hearted Miley Cyrus/Taylor Swift, which fits how she’s written.
Ape (Joe Souza as Matt Dalpiaz) – Cherry Pop’s manager and wannabe lover. Despite having feelings for her, she still needs to sort things out, so he has to support her. He comes off a lot like Steve from Married with Children, which just adds to the sitcom vibe.
Rachel (Leigh Livingston) – Rachel is a local reporter who gets the station in hot water when she broadcasts some live sexing between Cherry Pop and Ape. So she sticks around to document the creation of Cherry Pop’s new album, and ends up getting hired back by her station.
Chad Laroy (Mike Nike) – The record guy who hates all of Cherry Pop’s new songs and threatens to replace her, up to the point of actually replacing her. I guess having hit records isn’t really all that big of a deal any more…
Kitty Kat (Brynn Tyler) – A potential replacement for Cherry Pop being auditioned by Chad. Has zero brains and even less talent. She’s more like Kitty Litter.
The Cowboy (Alan Stafford) – The Cowboy is a famous tv commercial cowboy, but his real name is Ian and he lives with his mom. Is still somehow a big catch, because he’s a cowboy, don’t you know?
Jonah (Steve Crest as Jack Lawrence) – Cherry’s old ex-boyfriend who wanted to be a NASCAR racer. Was to be her prom date but stood her up.
Naked Lust
She’s naked and has lust, I dunno!

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