Tag Archives: Mainline Releasing

Erotic Karma (Review)

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Erotic Karma

Erotic Karma
2013
Written by Tina Hawthorne
Directed by Austin Brooks
Erotic Karma
Your Erotic Karma ran over my erotic dogma! Just kidding! No dog gets ran over, just some jerky human being! But he then goes on a body possessing spree, so maybe he deserved it. Erotic Karma is a title that seems to have little to do with the actual plot, except maybe the vague notion of New Age philosophies that the whole soul transferring plot device may be borrowed from. But it is also similar to just random ghost stories, so who really knows? In any event, the supernatural aspect caught me a bit off guard, because Mainline Releasing is generally more grounded in reality with their plots. It was an interesting change of pace for them, but doesn’t seem to be a genre they return to with any frequency.

Erotic Karma is written by Tina Hawthorne, the possibly real person who has written a bunch of Mainline films including Obsession, Hidden Treasures, Sex Tapes, Dark Secrets, Birthday Sex, Sexy Assassins, and Naughty Reunion. Her scripts usually don’t follow the standard softcore movie plots, and even have characters discuss things like their feelings, stuff that you just don’t find in softcore movies, and there is some of that going on here as well. The story here could easily be a horror movie topic, and is basically the plot to Fallen except instead of a demon skipping bodies, it is some horny jerk. Horny jerks are the worst jerks, especially when their name rhymes with the work “jerk”, so expect a lot of jerking.

The body changing does allow several characters to flex their acting muscles, including one side character of the type that usually shows up for a one-and-done sex scene. That was probably my favorite part of the film, the various characters suddenly acting like Southern jerk.
Erotic Karma
One thing not really addressed is the same problem I have with these films whenever people are possessed by ghosts or aliens and then begin having lots of sex, which is the fact all the sex scenes become rape scenes. Not to be a killjoy, but those scenes are a killjoy to my entertainment, so maybe I do mean to be a killjoy. Maybe I do. Three people are possessed in the course of the film, their bodies used by the notorious Professor Dirk Jordan to satisfy his supernatural urges. And also to order people to get him a beer. So few films have the evil villain include people bringing him beer as part of their master plan that it was hilarious.

Alex (Kiara Diane) – A TA for Sean at the university. She is dating Mitch and is often sexually harassed by Dirk. Unaware that Sean has feelings for her or that Mitch is cheating on her.
Sean (Rocco Reed) – Either a graduate student or a lower-ranking professor at the university that teaches some Anthropology classes. Spends most of the film reading instead of teaching. Is love lorned for Alex.
Camille Landing (India Summer) – Another graduate student at the anthropology department, she’s the student who everyone seems to want. Is opposed to people murdering people in her driveway, but not enough to actually tell the police who the murderer is.
Professor Dirk Jordan (Paul Case) – The jerk professor who must have tenure or something, and is high enough ranking in the department he can order other people to teach courses. Did his thesis on zombie culture in the Caribbean, where he also did a lot of work about souls, because the zombies were mostly people who were just possessed by local shamans. Is obsessed with Camille despite her dumping him long ago, and later becomes a free-roaming spirit possessing bodies.
Mitch (Kevin Patrick) – Dating Alex but banging Camille on the side. He refuses to break up with Alex because he thinks he’s so awesome she won’t know what to do if she’s dumped.
Lisa (Tiffany Tyler) – A masseuse who becomes the possessed Mitch’s new fling, is later possessed herself by Dirk.

Erotic Karma
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Obsession (Review)

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Obsession

Obsession Mainline Releasing softcore cinemax
2013
Written by Tina Hawthorne
Directed by Kent Sawyer

Obsession Mainline Releasing softcore cinemax

Possibility. Possibility.


Mainline Releasing Group (aka MRG Entertainment) gives us a softcore take on 50 Shades of Grey in what might be a preview of the style of the film version of same that will hit theaters in 2014. A super rich arrogant guy suddenly is extremely attracted to a freelance writer who did an interview with him and called him out on his crap. As no one has ever done that to Mr. Rich Guy, you can say he had an…..Obsession!

Because that’s the title, yo!

Obsession is at its best when its dissecting what a woman wants in a relationship, and at its worst when things are happening. Kiara Diane just wasn’t up to task to handle some of the emotional scenes, while Jason Sarcinelli is playing the same evil dick character we’ve seen a few times in Mainline Releasing films. He really only breaks out of that mold in his last scene, too bad it took so long to get there. I was totally not surprised to see this was a Tina Hawthorne script. Beyond her being the only writer for MRG, she’s also producing scripts that deal a lot with relationships and how people interact within them in addition to the required sex scenes. Needless to say, I’m a fan, even if she’s hit or miss.

As the Sophie Hammond character is already dating a guy who is a jerk, when she meets hyperjerk Max Berens it is on like Donkey Kong, if Donkey Kong was a softcore movie (probably called Donkey Dong, at least until Nintendo’s army of lawyers drowned everyone involved in cease and desists!)

Obsession Mainline Releasing softcore cinemax

No one interrupts me when I’m playing Candy Crush Saga!

Obsession features another person with a million dollar home while she’s just a freelancer and her boyfriend is a college student who doesn’t even pay his own tuition. I know a lot of writers due to writing my own site for so long, and none of them could afford anything close to that without something else going on. It also lessons the supposed wealth of Max Berens when Sophie’s expensive house looks more fancy than the billionaire’s office. And as Max seems less wealthy, his supposed power and influence go down, decreasing his charm and making him just seem more like a jerk.

Obsession Mainline Releasing softcore cinemax

So I was all like “Who needs an $80,000 job when I can play X-Box for free!”


Then I wondered why I thought he seemed less appealing because he seemed to have less money. Was I willing to give him excuses on being a jerk if he had a fat wad of cash? And if so, am I no better than women/men who date people for wealth? Why is it that rich idiots like our current crop of pop stars can waste tons of money and run around like idiots with no consequence, while the masses never get a break? Wealth just provides so much freedom in society it is obscene. It’s even permeated the subconscious mind, rich people can get away with whatever they want and you just assume it will be so, but the excuses you give to them do not transfer to someone who seems less than wealthy. I’m not saying we should kill the rich and tear down the system to reboot the planet. I’m sure there are one or two rich people who aren’t terrible. But Obession plays on this lifestyle of wealth with Max Berens’ character, while at the same time exposing its fraud by not emphasizing the wealth like it should. In that regards, Obsession fails as a film, and succeeds only in being a delivery method for naked chicks on late night Cinemax. On that hand, Obsession delivers!

Sophie Hammond (Kiara Diane) – A journalist for a local paper whose interview with Max Berens opens a new chapter in her life that involves an affair with said Max Berens.
Max Berens (Jason Sarcinelli) – A famous billionaire who is very obsessive and gets interested in girls who stand up to him. Which seems to have happened only once ever with Sophie. Jason Sarcinelli is also in Sex Tapes and Sexy Assassins.
Jake (Rocco Reed) – Jake is on year 6 of college and doesn’t want to grow up. Which really annoys his girlfriend Sophie. He doesn’t get her hints that she’s unhappy, until she dumps him for a mysterious billionaire. Rocco Reed is also in Dark Fantasies.
Lia (Michelle Lay) – Max’s secretary who has a thing for Max. Thus she hates Sophie. Michelle Lay is also in Cougar School, Bikini Girls from the Lost Planet, and Ghost in a Teeny Bikini
Monique (Tasha Reign) – A random woman trying to impress Max with her selling techniques. If she sells jets like she was selling herself to Max, then expect Max to be arrested soon for being a pimp.

Obsession Mainline Releasing softcore cinemax

Well, more pizza for me then!


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Hidden Treasures (Review)

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Hidden Treasures

Hidden Treasures
2013
Written by Tina Hawthorne
Directed by David Ashton

Hidden Treasures

Call me Poison Ivy because I basically am Poison Ivy.


Hidden Treasures is an interesting film, because the lead woman Elizabeth is manipulative over her former roommates/lovers, who eagerly go along with whatever weird junk she’s selling. They then drag their girlfriends into the mess, and commit a million sins that would end any relationship immediately. You have to take some of the scenes with a huge iceberg-sized grain of salt that anyone would go along with the shenanigans.

Initial premise aside, Hidden Treasures is an interesting “erotic thriller”, I use thriller because it’s not really any other category. We know Elizabeth is manipulative, but we don’t know how much, or if she’s even the most guilty party.

Hidden Treasures

I’m just gonna dig some shallow graves, nothing suspicious or anything!


Someone does know something about plants (I haven’t determined if Tina Hawthorne is the real name of the writer of the bulk of Mainline Releasing’s films), because in addition to some of the lingo straight out of wikipedia is some actual plant knowledge. Maybe it’s just watching this film while in the middle of reading a book that also has a character who mentions plants by their scientific names all the time (the book is Caliban’s War by James S.A. Corey), but I don’t really do that. But again, I can barely remember the common names for the different heirloom plants I have growing in my garden without saving the seed packets. It’s probably easier when you have someone you can talk plant shop with, but my wife and I are the only people we know who garden.

Sadie Katz’s character Cat is the plant enthusiast here, while Elizabeth Pierce’s father made his fortune in alternative medicine herbal plants and has a lush garden (tended by hunky gardener Jackson, who also knows a lot about plants.) Plants play into the plot with the characters continually talking about them. But there is also a bunch of missing jewels that Elizabeth’s late father somewhere on the property, which is the excuse she uses to bring in her old sex pals Mason and Chris. Judging by what happens next, its as if the characters are convinced the jewels are hidden on one of their bodies, because they keep getting naked and exploring around each other.

Hidden Treasures

Look, buddy, the title is a metaphor about relationships in addition to referring to the stashed away jewels!


It’s hard to break down Hidden Treasures because you have to believe that Cat and Rachel would put up with their idiot boyfriends dropping everything to go help out an old hot friend who they probably had lots of sex with. And neither girl is too pleased, Rachel is openly hostile, while Cat attempts to be positive but runs into interference from everyone, including her boyfriend Mason, but not Jackson. Hmmm…. But basically the lesson is don’t be a manipulative horror and don’t be manipulated by said horror.

Elizabeth Pierce (Michelle Maylene) – Elizabeth’s rich father just died and she gets two of her old lovers to come help her find missing secret jewels. She’s also sleeping with both of them and the gardener Jackson and her dad’s death is very very mysterious. See Michelle Maylene in Sexy Assassins, Cougar School, The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad, and Twilight Vamps Lust At First Bite
Cat (Sadie Katz) – Mason’s girlfriend who is dragged along to Elizabeth’s house, but is soon enthralled by all the rare and medicinal plants in the yard. Is not enthralled by Mason banging Elizabeth. Sadie Katz can also be seen in Birthday Sex. Credited here as Buffy Green.
Jackson (Chad White) – The gardener who has grown most of the rare plants at the house. Is also good at sewing his oats with two of the female cast members.
Mason (Seth Gamble) – Architect who is dating Cat, but is “friends” with Elizabeth from back when they were roomies. He is unfamiliar with common plant names and cares not to learn. Not a faithful man. What do you expect from someone named after a jar? Seth Gamble is also in Booty Hunter.
Chris (Ryan McLane) – Another of Elizabeth’s “friends” who spends his free time cheating on his girlfriend Rachel with Elizabeth. Yet he’s somehow the least worst of the two guys Elizabeth brings in. Ryan McLane is also in Naughty Reunion
Rachel (Alyssa Branch) – Chris’ girlfriend who is not happy with the weird scenario of bringing him and her to his old flame’s house, nor at her getting kicked out of rooms constantly by Elizabeth.
Cop (David Page) – He’s a cop!
Other Cop (???) – He’s also a cop!

Hidden Treasures

How could you take me to a house with a warped funhouse mirror??? Mom was right about you!


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Sex Tapes

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Sex Tapes

Sex Tapes
2012
Written by Tina Hawthorne
Directed by Eric Lacey

Sex Tapes

Videos of me? Having sex? On the internet???


Open relationship couples boning left and right while documenting every frame get into trouble when the tapes go missing and the accusations fly. Mainline Releasing drops another Cinemax softcore flick with Sex Tapes, a provocative title while the actual plot is far more dramatic than sensational.

Sex Tapes is another Tina Hawthorne script (who has by far become my favorite softcore script writer, even her wide misses are interesting!), you can expect a lot of talking and relationship issues to come to the surface. As characters stress over the missing sex tapes and their own relationship issues, the arguments get personal and circular, so a lot of the recap portion is just summarizing the arguments. But much of the talking feels real, like you would overhear at a coffeeshop while couples are arguing. Unfortunately, it sometimes feels a bit too real, while other sections are a bit too staged. This all combines with a lack of resolution that makes Sex Tapes disappointing, but an interesting disappointing.

Sex Tapes

My Sex Tape themed microbrew will bring the beer blogging community to its knees!


Sam and Lisa seem to have the perfect open relationship, they love each other and have gobs of money and are ringleaders and hosts to the other swinging couples. But things aren’t what they seem. Sam is in a secret affair with Alexis, a violation of the trust rules. Lisa suspects something is going on, but doesn’t have proof. Sam is very controlling, his video documentation of all the sex action is part of his need to be in charge of everything, including recording and editing things to perfection. It’s also why he feels he can cheat on Lisa, because Sam can do whatever he wants to do.

Carrie and Tyler argue constantly and have clear trust issues, which is odd because they’re also in open relationship which requires trust. But their fights never last long and always end in them making up. There is also a hint of Carrie having poor self image, which might explain some of the problems. Tyler is more sedentary, spending long portions of the film just sitting on the couch. His passiveness seems like it would cause Tyler to get upset about his lack of action, but that isn’t even discussed.

Alexis and Brent have the most damaged relationship in that their goals are completely opposite. Brent is becoming more important in his law firm and realizes the days of having sex on camera needs to stop. Alexis has no intentions of stopping, nor of stopping her affair with Sam. Brent is unaware of the affair, and seemingly unaware that Alexis has even had sex with anyone else, describing their participation as just watching others have sex while they as a couple have sex. Brent is no saint, he does cheat on Alexis before he has confirmation that she is cheating on him. But the fact his wife disappears for long periods with Sam should be a tip off even the blindest man would get.

With these three couples, the damage is already there, and when tapes go missing and all the secrets and lies get exposed in the open, it is not a pretty sight. Good thing there are Sex Tapes that recorded everything!

Sex Tapes

These sex tapes are BETA!


Sam (Jason Sarcinelli) – Intercourse recording aficionado, control freak, and ringleader of a group sex club. Sam and his girl Lisa have an open relationship, but Sam’s arrogance and need to control leads to trouble. Jason Sarcinelli is also in Sexy Assassins and Species III
Lisa (Angela Nicholas as Angela Davies) – Sam’s loving partner who becomes increasingly suspicious that Sam is having an affair, bolstered by Alexis constantly sniping at her. Angela Davies also appears in Emmanuelle the Private Collection: Sex Talk
Carrie (Chanel Preston) – Tyler’s partner who switches from arguing with Tyler to making up with him. Suffers from self-estem issues. Chanel Preston has starred in many films such as Rezervoir Doggs
Tyler (Sean Juergens) – Carrie’s partner and couch devotee. Looks like Jon Favreau and says “dude” a lot. Sean Juergens also appears in Insatiable Obsession and Emmanuelle 2000: Emmanuelle in Paradise
Alexis (Charmane Star) – Brent’s wife and Sam’s lover. Really hates Lisa because she has Sam, and doesn’t seem to like her own husband at all. Charmane Star also appears in Sexual Quest
Brent (Dennis Harkins) – Lawyer who is getting increasingly nervous about all the sex tape things going on while his career is set to take off. Also unaware his wife is cheating on him. Dennis Harkins has either not acted in anything ever, or he’s using an alias.
David (Mitchell Steinberg) – Local security guard of the gated community Sam and Carrie live in. Of course he’s the guy who ends up with all the tapes…

Sex Tapes

Virgin Vaginas lives!


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Dark Secrets

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Dark Secrets

Dark Secrets
2013
Written by Tina Hawthorne
Directed by David Barber

Dark Secrets

That’s not how you tell secrets!


Relationships relationships relationships. And also hot sex. Mainline Releasing drops another cool script from Tina Hawthorne that takes another softcore film on a deep introspective journey to look at the relationships of the people who are its subjects. The dissection is so complete that a major character is a group couples therapist, who helps the various pairings with their issues. Some things can be dealt with, and some relationships aren’t worth saving.

Be warned, audience, Dark Secrets might actually make you think for a bit! Sure, it’s got naked people being nude with each other, but also people talk and learn give and takes of relationships. Thus becoming stronger as they learn to work with each other. Sure, a few of the compromises get simplified to just boning each other, but there is a quota of sex scenes we need to fill here, people!

Two relationships have problems in that both members each have their own little things that need to get ironed out. So the therapy session helps because they have a chance to discuss it, instead of just getting angry and exploding at each other. The group couples therapy would seem to be advantageous because you can see similarities to facets of your own relationship when you hear others talk about theirs. But you might also learn things you don’t really want to know about your friends, so I don’t suggest jumping right into group couples therapy with all your friends. And every group has that one friend’s significant other that everyone hates. Yes, he’s in this film as well.

Dark Secrets

I hate this painting. HATE!!


David doesn’t quite fit in with the rest of the group because he’s said to be older and doesn’t really care for Marisa’s going to school or doing much of anything except living off of him. David always seems to have the right line to compliment all the other girls, but rarely bothers to connect with Marisa. It is apparent to everyone that Marisa is on her last legs in that relationship, fed up with David’s crap and attempts to control things. David ticks off the other guys at therapy with his empty platitudes, coming out at a disadvantage while Marisa becomes more empowered by the sessions. It’s clear that being around other people helps give Marisa confidence, something David isn’t too keen on, as confidence means she won’t be doing what he says. David’s personality is more complicated at first, but by the end of the film he becomes cartoonishly evil. A switch goes off once Marisa becomes free, and David can’t handle it, can’t handle the being out of control. The Dark Secret of David is he’s a violent sociopath!

Marisa (Jayden Cole) – Young student dating the much older David, who seems like he knows all the answers, but really doesn’t know much, especially about Marisa. But he does know how to be disturbingly violent if Marisa brakes up with him… Jayden Cole is also in Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros, Bikini Frankenstein, and Naughty Reunion.
David (Billy Chappell) – Oh. That guy.
Felicia (Heather Vahn) – Marisa and Bree’s friend, her boyfriend Max spends all his time working on his laptop and being passive aggressive when she tries to drag him to group couples therapy. Felicia is worried about the time Max spends not paying attention to her and her needs. As this is pre-boob job Heather Vahn, it also helps date how long ago this was filmed vs. being released. Heather Vahn also stars in the political thriller Grab and Bind: Heather Vahn, Political Prisoner
Max (Michael Vegas) – Felicia’s boyfriend who is probably very busy with work right now, though if you are a naked Felicia he can pause a bit to have sex with you. Does not like David. At all. Michael Vegas sweeps the leg in The Karate Kid XXX: A DreamZone Parody.
Bree (Victoria White) – Marisa and Felicia’s friend who helps convince Marisa to bring David to therapy. Defends some of David’s statements (because they compliment her) though eventually makes up with her boyfriend. This relationship only seems to need therapy because Brian is angry 24/7. Victoria White also appears in Sexual Quest.
Brian (Richard Lounello) – Bree’s boyfriend. Is constantly angry. About everything. Has HUGE ears. Does not like David. At all. Richard Lounello also appears in Battledogs.
Dr. Serena Daniels (Kelli McCarty) – Therapist who hosts group couples therapy sessions, which are as exciting as you think they would be to be in. Despite being a trained psychologist, she’s not above having sex with her patients. Let’s hope the California Board of Psychology doesn’t watch this movie! Kelli McCarty is also in The Teenie Weenie Bikini Squad

Dark Secrets

How dare you criticize my Naruto/Pokemon slash fic!


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Secret Lives

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Secret Lives

Secret Lives
2010
Written by ???
Directed by Austin Brooks

Secret Lives

Grey Poupon jokes forever!


As we’ve seen time and time again, one of the major story types of softcore films are murder mysteries. These plots help gives softcore some pulp street cred (erotica is a long-standing pulp tradition) as well as adding danger elements to help make the films more exciting. Many of the films are essentially episodes of detective shows, modified for the personality of the lead and given sequences that would make NYPD Blue blush. Mainline Releasing/ MRG Entertainment has a slew of them, so Secret Lives will become an example case.

Secret Lives goes along at a leisurely pace, a type of realistic storytelling that shows us characters walking the whole way through buildings, having long conversations and monologues, and seems more of a play expanded to film and then stuffed with padding to justify the sets and stock footage. But weirdly enough, that sort of makes it feel more real, that these characters who are part of this fantasy sex world have to deal with some of the same problems that everyone faces. And our heroes are no angels, they endanger their case and their jobs and even their lives, saved by the fact the killer seems to have left her mind far behind

Secret Lives

Agave??? Give me the rat poison!


Also there’s lots of wang in this movie. Which is good for softcore, even if it’s not my thing, because there are couples that watch these film, even if it isn’t the target audience. And it’s cool to toss the ladies or gay men a few “bones” now an then, even if it is only soft bones. People who have a problem with that probably have their own

We’re led to believe that Kenzie is the main character from the beginning, but we actually follow Detective Mick Ferguson around for most of the film. The “secret lives” hinted by the title only makes sense if you view the relationship of the main characters – which they try to keep hidden to protect their career and cases – as a sort of secret life. But it’s not really that secret, and by the end they just realize hiding things will just leave to problems. The big flaw is there is no real resolution. Kenzie and Mick commit to staying together, but even though we know who the murderer is, things are left to offscreen characters to find the evidence and save the day.

Secret Lives features stylized flashbacks, including several long sex sequences. An effort is made to keep the viewer from being confused while still running through the checklist of things required for softcore cinema. The pacing is something that may put people off, but it lends Secret Lives a bit of distinction in my eyes. Secret Lives throws some expected ideas out the window while still delivering other common tropes, a creative mix that is welcome in an environment that can grow stagnant.

Detective Mick Ferguson (Brendan Connor) – Police detective who is trying to balance his love life with his job, a special problem now that his one night stand turned possible girlfriend turns out to be the new Assistant District Attorney, Kenzie. Detective Ferguson must also solve the murder of model Ashley Taylor. Brendan Conner also stars in Alien Sex Files 3: Aliens Gone Wild
Kenzie (Beverly Lynne) – The new Assistant District Attorney, who gets off to a bad start possibly compromising cases and having inappropriate relationships. Then she goes and interviews suspects without saying what she’s doing. Kenzie used to be a model – which paid for law school – and lived in the house Ashley was murdered in with Diana Marks. Beverly Lynne has been in a ton of films featued on TarsTarkas.NET.
Diana Marks (Krissy Lynn) – The roommate of murder victim Ashley and constantly arguing with her. Has been a model for a long long time. Is only mostly crazy. Krissy Lynn also stars in She’s So Anal
Ashley Taylor (Angelica Saige as Angelica Sage) – The murdered girl, she appears in various flashbacks, usually yelling at people or having sex. The mix of passions spells her doom. Angelica Saige starred in Go Hostagettes!
Jason Tillman (Chris Johnson) – Ashley’s boyfriend, he left the apartment before she was murdered, but as she was killed by poison, can’t be ruled out because he may have poisoned her before he left. Was constantly dealing with Ashley’s jealousy. Chris Johnson also starred in Grand Theft Auto: XXX Parody
Lady Cop (Mell Flynn) – Cop on the scene at the murder that gives Ferguson the rundown. Mell Flynn was also in an episode of I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant
Dean Foss (George McFadden) – Weird art photographer and Diana’s boyfriend. Is creepy, but that’s just a red herring (like communism!) According to IMDB, he’s been in nothing else, which means this is probably not the name he’s usually credited under.

Secret Lives

Completely hidden by her camouflage!


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