Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah (Review)
Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah
aka Gojira vs. Kingu Gidora
1991
Directed and written by Kazuki Omori
Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah is the third of the Heisei series of films, and the first to include a classic Toho kaiju in a new form (other classic monsters such as Mothra and Rodan would soon arrive as well.) The big story with Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah is not the plot or the monsters or any of that jazz, but the controversy surrounding the release of the film. Back in 1991, the US was still having rough relations with Japan economically, following a period where Japan seemed to be buying up much of America at wholesale prices. Japan’s edge had started to slip at this point, and they would soon be in the middle of a decade-long recession, but fear of Japan soon controlling the world war rampant in the dimmest of bulbs, who coincidentally just happen to have radio and TV shows. They were upset over the sequence where the precursor to Godzilla, the Godzillasaurus, slaughters a bunch of US troops during World War 2. The fact that men from the future who were white also went back in time to ruin Japan economically in retaliation of Japan’s dominance was also touchy. Accusations of anti-Americanism flew wild, and Japan had to say “What the frak?” No one seemed upset over the thousands of dead Japanese people in the film, the fact a Japanese woman was one of the time travelers, a white guy was a good robot, or the fact that everyone in the future where Japan dominated hated the country and thought of them as corrupt and deserving death for their arrogance.
But talking heads are morons, so who gives a crap what they thought in 1991? All I am concerned about is if that had any decision in the delaying of release of the post-Biollante films in America. Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah did not hit the US market until at least 1996, because I bought the VHS of it while I was in college. A few bootlegs circled at conventions, but outside of the grey market you could not get a glimpse of new Godzilla for five years. Of all of the Heisei era films, I think I enjoy this one the most, largely due to the human characters not being that annoying. It was very much better than its predecessor, Godzilla vs. Biollante, which was terrible (when Godzilla wasn’t fighting the army) and featured a stupid monster that I hate. Biollante’s poor showing at the box office basically forced Toho to tell the director he is bringing back a named monster, something that happened again when GMK: Tokyo SOS director Masaaki Tezuka was forced to put Ghidorah and Mothra in a film neither had any business being in. Toho could easily avoid this by not having lame monsters like Biollante or Megaguirus, but I guess that is just too difficult. Rumors swirl that this was originally going to star King Kong in a rematch against Godzilla, but negotiations went sour.
Enough rambling, let’s get to this production! We will have the cast breakdown, and then jump into the feature
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The best special effects money can buy!
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Godzilla vs. Megalon (Review)
Godzilla vs. Megalon
aka Gojira tai Megaro
1973
Starring
Katsuhiko Sasaki as Inventor Goro Ibuki
Hiroyuki Kawase as Rokuro ‘Roku-chan’ Ibuki (Rock Salt)
Yutaka Hayashi as Hiroshi Jinkawa (Rex Dart- Eskimo Spy)
Robert Dunham as Emperor Antonio of Seatopia
Kotaro Tomita as Lead Seatopian Agent (Oscar Wilde)
Wolf Otsuki as Seatopian Agent (Rasputin)
From the magic land of Japan we get the epic story of a robot and his giant lizard friend as they defend the world from a giant cockroach and a big beetle. Yes, Godzilla is back, and this time, he’s teamed up with his greatest companion, Jet Jaguar. Now this is generally considered one of the worst of the series (in fact, of all the different series) and there is a strong argument for that honor. The lack of budget is apparent throughout the film, from the lack of extras, to the reuse of stock shots from many prior films, to the shoddy costumes for the monsters and Seatopians. The worst offender is the character of Rokuro, aka Roku-chan, or what we’ll be calling him in this review, Rock Salt. Every time his name is called, it sounds like they’re just saying “Rock Salt!” so there we go. (MST3K referred to him as “Roxanne” in their airing.) Rock Salt is the worst instance of a “Kenny” in a Godzilla film. Kennies are named after the many different Kennies from the Gamera series of films, in which each movie had a different annoying kid named Kenny who seemed to have higher security clearance than the highest generals in Japan. Kennies are also known to wear shorts so tiny they’d cover more skin if they didn’t wear pants at all. Kenny’s main job is to give kids a movie representation of themselves to bring them into the film. Unfortunately for us, anyone over 9 realizes Kennies are annoying. Rock Salt is one of the most annoying Kennies to emerge from Japan. He’s dubbed by a woman who does male child voices by just whining in a baby’s voice. The screeching heard every time Rock Salt opens his filthy mouth is enough to grate your ears so you’ll rip them off. Rock Salt lives with two men, one of who is called his “brother,” named Goro. The fact that Goro is over twenty years older than Rock Salt, yet no other parents are around, is oddly suspicious, especially since the only other parental figure is fellow male Hiroshi Jinkawa. No one calls him Hiroshi Jinkawa at any point in the film, and MST3K dubbed him Rex Dart, Eskimo Spy; and so he shall be called here as well.
Enough of the human characters, we’ll go into them in more detail later, let’s get to the whole reason we watch these films, the monsters. The Daikaiju. The Big Boys. We know the headliner, Big G himself, Godzilla. We got us a brand new Godzilla suit for this film, which makes him look like a frog. As the current kid-friendly trend made Godzilla’s eyes get bigger and bigger, we see the extreme right here. If you’re nostalgic for some of the older suits and face designs, you’re in luck, and the liberal use of older footage gives us the Godzilla vs. Gigan suit, as well as the suits from Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster and Destroy All Monsters. Teaming up with Godzilla is the reason this film was made, Jet Jaguar. Jet Jaguar, in addition to having an awesome name, is a robot with special powers. He has the ability to think for himself, evasion sensors so he’ll always get out of your way (props to dumb dialogue), punch-card powered programming, and the ability to program himself to change his height. Not by any build in means, he just magically grows big or shrinks depending on what the script calls for. More on that as it happens, let’s look at the villains. The evil headliner is Megalon, making his movie debut. This was the first in a series of one movies Megalon is featured in in his quest to destroy Godzilla. That puts him on equal footing with Jet Jaguar, as they’re both one-hit wonders. Megalon is a giant cockroach. He has the magical power of shooting lightning from his star shaped antenna on his head (a singular antenna) and can spit red bricks that explode upon impact. Megalon’s most far out feature is what cements him in the dredges of G-History: Drill Hands. Yes, each hand of Megalon is half a drill. No thumbs, no claws, no use of any kind, but drills. Maybe Japan had an irrational fear of the Chrysler Building during the early seventies. He’s joined by Gigan, who’s returning from the previous film, both because the costume was still in good condition, and because that allows to use a good chunk of the previous film’s fight between Godzilla and Gigan. After this, Gigan won’t be seen again until Godzilla Final Wars (and his second form in that movie makes him look even more silly.) Gigan is a beetle-looking freak with a single red glowing eye, like old school cylons from Battlestar Galactica, minus the ping pong action. Gigan has hooks for hands, making his only slightly less useless than Megalon’s.
So we know our characters, we know our monsters, we know our potential pitfalls, let’s get this party started!
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Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly Tags: Anguirus, Gigan, Godzilla, Hiroyuki Kawase, Japan, Jet Jaguar, Katsuhiko Sasaki, Kenny, Kotaro Tomita, Megalon, Robert Dunham, Rodan, Wolf Otsuki, Yutaka Hayashi