Barack Obama – former CIA agent

[adrotate banner=”1″]It’s true if you are crazy.

Hello, crazy!

Deanna Spingola is a writer at RenewAmerica, a collection of dunderheads unable to get gigs writing at, a website that lets Ben Shapiro write for them, so you know these dudes must be classy! When Deanna Spingola isn’t designing quilts, she’s putting the crazy in crazy quilt with her Obama conspiracy articles!

I recently had the pleasure of talking with Dr. James David Manning

That’s Pastor Manning of We are too stupid to figure out how to use Google so have declared Obama didn’t go to Columbia University fame.

According to Dr. Manning, Obama (born in 1961) enrolled at the very pricey Occidental College in Los Angeles, California in 1979 and was recruited there in 1980 by the CIA which has made it a practice since its inception to recruit college students.

Ah, yes. You might be surprised to learn that there isn’t a link to any evidence for this.

Obama allegedly transferred from Occidental to Columbia University. It is atypical for a student to begin their education in one four-year school and then transfer to another school.

I know many people who would be surprised to learn that they are atypical.

The CIA needed Muslims or others who were fluent in Farsi and who could easily blend into the Muslim environment in the Middle East. The CIA persuaded Columbia University to extend their foreign student program to Obama, now a Columbia student, so that he might travel to Pakistan and enroll in the universities around Karachi in addition to the Patrice Lumumba School in Moscow

All evidence for this is a YouTube video from Pastor Manning

Obama, as an undercover agent, was the lead agent in the arms and money supply for the CIA-trained Taliban Army against the Soviet Army war machine. His actions were integral to the Taliban’s success in their opposition to the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan.

Obama trained Osama now?

When Obama completed his CIA operations in the mid 1980s and returned to the U.S. he persuaded the State Department to maneuver his entrance into Harvard Law School; since the CIA, the U.S. president’s personal agency for black operations throughout the world, also has connections to federal and state politicians, they managed to arrange Obama’s entrance to yet another elite school in 1988.

So Obama’s admittance wasn’t affirmative action because he was black, it was covert action because he was black ops. Got it. The fact that Obama was a stellar student had nothing to do with it.

Despite a five-year absence from the rigors of college activity he was accepted at Harvard

Just wait until she finds out it was six years between when I was in school and when I went to grad school! Soon she’ll be claiming I was in the CIA. Sorry, NSA all the way!!

Most of the rest of a column is a rehash of the Obama Columbia University conspiracy that we made fun of before when it was first announced. But then she closes with an amazing piece of wingnut hysteria!

Henry Kissinger said, “Conflicts across the globe and an international respect for Barack Obama have created the perfect setting for establishment of ‘a New World Order.” Allegedly, the upper echelon of Freemasonry were infiltrated long ago the Satanic Illuminati whose objective is world dominance through one-world governance. There are claims that Barack Obama is a 32nd degree Prince Hall Freemason. Certainly, Prince Hall Freemasons, Jesse Jackson and Charles Rangel, supported his presidency. Whether he is a Freemason or not, he might indeed be the chosen vessel of the New World Order proponents unless the citizens call a halt to the scheme. However, there is no doubt that he is a Zionist asset and, that despite his campaign promises, intends to pursue the same Neo-Con policies in the Middle East as the previous administration, as evidenced by his speech before the 2008 AIPAC Policy Conference where he was introduced by his friend, Lee Rosenberg, a fellow Chicago resident.

Freemasons, NWO, Zionist control, Neo-con conspiracies, it’s a grab bag of goofy fun!

Wingnut Web – update!

[adrotate banner=”1″] never fails to disgust. It is their special skill. The echo chamber grows louder and louder, the voices more shrill, and the sane are purged. Only the craziest of the crazy survive. It’s rapid evolution to create the most insane conservatives known to man, whose sheer ignorance will create a singularity and engulf the planet. Welcome to the ride to hell! Let’s check out what has been up to recently!

The first few posts are talking about when Lt. Gov Andre Bauer said “My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that.”

Freepers are unsurprisingly happy

WAIT! I’m poor and on government assistance, but I’M DIFFERENT!!

Tell us how you really feel

How dare you not insult my wife! PC Thug!

More on our friend sergeantdave

sergeantdave ready to lynch everyone who is left than him, which would be 99.44% of the country…

privatedave needs to take his meds

Racist picture captions? In MY

And now a short play: Yehuda freaks out. A play in two acts.

Act I:

Act II:

InspectorSmith is a guy who lied about going to Kenya and produced a fake Obama Birth Certificate that he put on eBay and has been denounced by many other Birthers. Now he is back with more “evidence” (aka trolling for more donations because rent is due)

My lies are so confusing you need spreadsheets…

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Birthers

two witnesses is the key!

crazy racist mojitojoe is a Birther???

Obama is an American pretending to be a foreigner to con the world! Forget 11 dimensional chess, this is 111 dimensional chess!

The senate hacked my hard drives!

SatinDoll is still convinced of things that don’t exist beings scrubbed from the internet. Nothing can be scrubbed from the internet

The FBI doesn’t investigate because you are frakking crazy

InspectorSmith acts rational and calm, enforcing his argument with a well-reasoned response and with evidence.

An “ethical hacker”. Right….

ALERT! ALERT! Bell Curve thread!


You are a slave to your genes.

Haitians – not human.

Just what is this guy saying…

I am sad that I am racist

I can’t call blacks stupid because of liberals, who are the real racists because they won’t let me be racist!

Wait, am I going to have to defend a Gun Avatar guy?

Dumb, racist, and whatever you do, don’t tell him Egyptians invented beer and Egyptians are black!
f35.jpg….don’t ever change!

Wingnut Web – Resistnet Birther Crazytown!

[adrotate banner=”1″]So, at TarsTarkas.NET, we’ve been following the saga of the Birthers with much interest. As Birther Queen Professor Orly Taitz MD writes the UN and demands protection, Birthers online have become more persecuted, largely due to several sites wising up and kicking their crazy butts off. But that just makes the Birthers whine even more loudly. Birthers are worse than Furries, with their cries of persecution. If Birthers weren’t also the same people who would deny all federal funding for treatment of those with mental illnesses, I would feel sorry for them. Instead, I just enjoy the show, my never-ending supply of popcorn being buttered by the constant river of Brither crazy posts. And now is becoming a Birther mecca. But don’t take our word for it, take many, many of their words!

The Birthers throw down the gauntlet and demand that Glenn Beck kiss their ring (said ring made from a birth certificate origamied the frak up!)

Anita D. Phillips starts us strong with random accusations of Muslims, Manchurian candidates, and the expressed desire to shame that negro for daring to be president!

Obama owns Snopes, Fact Check (whatever that is, and the Associated Press (maybe he should tell the AP to stop being so insulting to him…) But we now know Sky King is an expert in packing butts.

Chris is so far ahead of the game he thinks Hillary will run for president again in 2012 after Obama is shamed away in 2011. Boy will he be sad.

Let’s save the country by not being Birthers!

Let’s make up things that Obama admitted! It’s as good as real proof! (WTF is “the fish does rot from the top”?)

Nancy Simmons now hates America

If Glenn Beck doesn’t apologize to me personally, then I’ll just have to keep making meaningless posts on the internet!

jcdaley will go insane when Obama is reelected. INSANE.

Chris is ready to wage ultimate war!

NOOOO!!! They got to J.D. Hayworth! He’s been replaced by pod people also!

Truthers are CRAZY, unlike us, with all this evidence that we don’t have…

No, wait, Truthers and Birthers are like peas in a pod. Pod People!

I am perfectly comfortable being crazy. It is perfectly comfortable sitting in this giant kiddie pool filled with chocolate pudding naked and I love doing it at the mall. Only mindless Obots want me to cover up.

WAHHH!!! Beck no love us!

victoria barard sure hates Glenn Beck despite watching him every day and him being her hero until he insulted one (1!!) of her beliefs.

Beck and O’Reilly are double-teaming the Birthers! It’s a steel-cage match!

FoxNews is in on the Birth Certificate Conspiracy, because…..uh….IT JUST IS!!!

This woman writes entire novels dedicated to demanding various entertainers apologize to her. Her novel about how Sting needs to apologize because Tantric Sex is against God was 978 pages long.

They can’t stop us! Our crazy is our gasoline!

Okay, this is the ultimate post. So the Right Wing and Obama are in cahoots to have Obama be president despite not having a birth certificate, and when the birthers close in, Obama will pretend that the Right is attacking him so the birthers get drowned out in all the noise. And this giant conspiracy that everyone on the planet is in on except for a few posters on has only been exposed by the few posters on and Prof. HM Orly Taitz TE with NO ONE ELSE coming forward about this gigantic plot. And we aren’t birthers, we are Article2ists!

Now, as you saw with the crazy crazy crazy up above, the birthers destroy anything they come in contact with, because they hijack everything into the birth certificate discussion. Thus, a few places such as have cleaned house and banned all the birthers. More mainstream Republican candidates are trying to back off of the crazy claims despite the popularity with the birtherism with the teabagger crowd. Thus, we get this article talking about it:


First up is Dee, who is quick to declare there is no leader in the Tea Party, except those of us with Admin in our names! He logic also makes TarsTarkas.NET a leader in the Teabagger movement because we are part of everyone…


John Kerry locked up Obama’s records!

patriot proves he is a patriot for the country of Moronica. Their flag is a table.

Only LIBERALS would be evil enough to convince the GOP that Birthers are crazy!

Apparently I am scared to death of Chris. Who knew?

I also support the right making Birthers as loud and bright as possible, but probably not for the same reasons as victoria barard

Wait, am I terrorized or am I scared to death? Also, if I am terrorized, does that make Birthers terrorists?

Debbie Laurie is so hard up for heroes she thinks victoria barard is a well-spoken leader

victoria reveals that her secret is to not hit them with the crazy stuff right away, because she secretly knows it is crazy.

J.D. Hayworth just isn’t crazy enough! Who wants a crawfish when you can have a lobster of crazy?

Let’s take J.D. Hayworth to see the Wizard of Oz to get some courage!

A Tom Tancredo defender? In my Teabag?

Birthers have destroyed Beck. And now they will destroy America! MuHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Mel Frost is ice cold. He’s a chill fellow.

Wait, what the crap? Suddenly I want a Slim Jim…

Third Parties are the Democrats secret weapon. Just ask Ralph Nader…

Want to have more than two parties? That makes you a commie!

R.L. Smith goes to throw his vote away…

victoria barard goes off…

And continues…and continues…

We end with bonus Monsanto hate, from the people who don’t get that the Republicans they are voting in are the reason for most of this capitalism deregulation! And aren’t you for the free market? This must mean… is full of communists!!!!!! NOOOOooOOOOooOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bang that hammer and sickle, Resistnet, and maybe you will find the birth certificate!

Wingnut Web – Barack Obama is Malcolm X's son Edition

[adrotate banner=”1″]Yes, Barack Obama being Malcolm X’s secret lovechild is a real conspiracy. As are many other crazy things from the Brithers. Besides being infested with that, Resistnet has a lot of other crazy nuts. So here is a pack of crazy posts I’ve been sitting on because of illness, laziness, and sheer volume of posts pulled and not wanting to overwhelm. We have a few repeating offenders, a lot of new guys, and some one-shots. I, personally, would laugh my butt off if Barack Obama was really Malcolm X’s son (and HOW would that make him not a US citizen? It would blow the Birthers out of the water!)

Robert Founder has the cure for those AMINOs…Acid!

Never trust anyone. Demand you mom’s birth certificate!

His plan is to destroy America in order to save it.

Lynn Bryant DeSpain joins in with some more made up facts!

We got a rogue #8 about to invade your list!

james reynolds thinks he will stop war contractors making money by voting in Republicans! Next he will stop murder by voting for Charles Manson

Oil comes from the core of the Earth! I saw it in the scientifically accurate movie The Core!

Sarah Palin should cook me dinner.

We we kill government employees it isn’t terrorism!

Andy Martin account found!

I’m sure Christian was this upset when Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh were also vacationing in Hawaii

Hey, another member calling for an armed coup in America! The “Peaceful” Resistance…

CMW’s racism is so strong all lowercase t’s on my computer have burst into flames…

Let’s drive him Bugs Bunny! Or Mickey Mouse!

Stop loosening things, Obama! We need it tight in here

Please support my OBOGO petition! Please? Pretty please? Why does no one love me?

Someone upset her crazy post was ignored…

RAR! Support my crazy!

FoxNews is in on the Birth Certificate Conspiracy!

They threaten all the talk show hosts! Why have none of us been threatened? Uh…..

CSA Avatar guy is surprisingly crazy. Who knew?

Hello, crazy, my old friend. I’ve come to listen to you again…

FoxNews is the Muslims! And the Muslims are calling from inside the house!

Okay, the conspiracy theories are more complicated than a Glenn Beck chalkboard now…

It’s almost as if saying Barack Obama is Malcolm X’s son is crazy or something…

Poor Doris Hickey, somehow thinking the Tea Party will give her Health Care reform. How does this happen????

This plan is great until you need a kidney. Go to for more crazy!

FACT: The Republicans were a third party, and since 1964 they’ve been an unmitigated and total disaster!

We’ll stick to losing elections we should win easily!

Yeah, good luck with that…

So if you think this is bad, kicked off all of the Birthers, and they suddenly exploded in number on All this happened while I was sick, so this weekend I pulled dozens and dozens of crazy Brither posts, which will be upped….next time! – Obama never attended Columbia University

[adrotate banner=”1″]Chinese stooges and their new best bud convicted felon Pastor David Manning have just spend an exhaustive investigation of looking at pixellated Japanese porn and have concluded that Barack Obama never attended Columbia University. declares:
1) Columbia University will not divulge whether the “alleged” diploma issued was in the name of Barry Soetoro or Barack Hussein Obama. No public record exists regarding the diploma.

2) Obama alleges he attended Columbia in 1982, 1983. But, the investigators have been UNABLE to turn up a single shred of written documentation for the years 1981, 1982, 1983, 1984 that show where Obama appeared on a school roster, register, faculty memo, bulletin board, school awards, dean’s list; where Obama’s name appeared in a yearbook, club record, fraternity record, extra curricular activity member roster, student newspaper, student radio or tv activity; where Obama appeared in any records as a worker, employee, laborer in or about Columbia University; where Obama enrolled in any sports activity or program.

3) As a graduating senior in 1983 he does not appear in any Political Science (his major) or Granduating Class yearbook or invitation records.

4) There is absolutely no documentation of any kind to show Obama attended, lived, worked or played at Columbia University during the investigated 4 years.

5) Interviewed professors, college employees, students (who were at Columbia during the years in question) have failed to turn up a single person that can remember Obama. This is irrefutable evidence. Think about your own situation if Obama had attended your college? A “now-famous” person went to your school? Many would be able to say, “of course I remember.” At Columbia, not a single person has been able to say he or she remembers Obama.

One small problem, there is all this evidence that he did attend Columbia University. All easily found on Google in a matter of seconds. But no problem!

The commentors on the blog were ecstatic over the discovery…

If I declare everything about Barry Soetoro lies then I can claim anything!

It is a good day when people die, just like Jesus said in the Bible. Oh, wait, I meant Worf on Star Trek…

Barack Obama doesn’t keep his Columbia diploma in his back pocket to show to people, thus it doesn’t exist!

One guy=entire black community.

How dumb to you have to be to get banned from

Rev. Manning is part of the conspiracy of disinformation! He’s the real long-legged mackdaddy!

This guy can’t even spell birth certificate, much less know what one looks like

Go back to writing science fiction novels, Kevin Anderson!

The news hit like a ton of bricks, and soon bricks were crapped in every direction as the crazies fought to be the most crazies while voices of reason were ignored like the RINOs they are. Only REAL PATRIOTS know that Barack Hussein Obama was born of a pod and had no real parents, only the genetic donations of Karl Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, Mao, Malcolm X, an actual black panther, and Dolemite.

We are seekers. Seekers of poo!

A black zombie, of course…

Galtoid is willfully ignoring the links I posted above, many of which are in that Freeper thread.

Speaking of which….But wait, that means Barack Obama roomed with Al Qaeda! I got you now, Barry S.!

Everyone is covering everything up. They even blew up the shuttle Columbia to help cover Obama’s Columbia records!

ETL is freaking crazy, but at least he doesn’t believe Obama is the Anti-Christ. And bonus “revenge against the libs” guy who will probably try to burn down your house if Palin is elected in 2012.

Barack Obama – armed truck robber! I think someone needs to stop watching Armed and Dangerous! No, wait, that movie rules. Everyone needs to watch Armed and Dangerous!

Sorry, I didn’t read this post, I was thinking about that scene in Armed and Dangerous where John Candy gets in the Semi and that cool dude starts driving through traffic….

“Everything will fall down like a house of cards” and similar phrases are in about 50% of these posts, so if you ever want to pretend to be a Birther you have to use that phrase every other post.

In 18 months, Missouri gal is going to be very disappointed.

What the frak is this crap?

Freeper poetry.

Only can get to the bottom of this mess! To the Freepmobile! Wait, the Freepmobile is a rascal scooter…

mojitojoe, racist extraordinaire, I have saved your post to laugh at in 2012.

Of course, no man would have a mustache like that…

The most retarded photoshop conspiracy on Freep of the day belongs to…

Hey, you, guy with actual facts! Get out of here!

You see, the negroes are all such slores that they are all related due to childhood sex.

Just think of Kent Brockman screaming “It’s in Revelations, people!”

Luckily, we’ll be saved when John Candy shoots his 50 caliber handgun at the car with Palin in it and it crashes into the tanker truck filled with rocket fuel…

Yes, it is a mystery indeed!

Now With bonus Dr. Orly Taitz Birth craziness!

Rev. Dr. Mr. HM Orly Hussein Taitz Jr. Esq TE has uploaded this secret document sent to her of Barack Hussein Obama’s mother’s forged Social Security card. As you can see, this proves beyond a shadow of a doubt Barack Obama had no mother!


Thanks to User-Friendly and Seventyfour for the tips!

Predictions for Massachusetts

[adrotate banner=”3″]Here at we’ve all been busy wearily counting down the few remaining days till January 19th, 2010. It’s not a countdown we’ve been anxious to keep track of, but on January 19th, 2010 Massachusetts (which hereforth will be referred to as Mass. because the former is too hard to spell) will hold the first general election of the year. Fortunately for us though, this vote is only a special emergency election to pick who will fill the seat Ted Kennedy left behind when he died last year (and was buried with Obamacare). The real 2010 election cycle won’t really heat up until March, but the passing of January 19th marks the day when the media will never start shutting the fuck up about election news (bringing loads of 30-second campaign ads between the news programming with it) and also resembles an Armageddon-like coming of time for us who pay attention to such things.

However, this race is also kind of a Waterloo moment for the Tea Party/Birther crowd since they, for the first tangible time, will have the opportunity to put an R-MA into the Senate thus very discretely slightly tipping the scales in favor of the minority party. Now, I could sit here and give you my opinion about the state of Mass. and all the people who live there and the ways it’s divided politically and how things are pretty close in the race to begin with and who I think might win, but that’s not what is important to me with 9 days to go before people start casting ballots (some of them possibly the undead as registered by ACORN so watch out).

Given the way most Tea Birthers usually react to bits and pieces of seemingly important news (oh boy they were not happy when Orly got her lawsuit thrown out of court) I am instead going to focus my efforts more towards making some Nostradamus shit happen here and predict just how people will react to the results of the election. As I gaze into my magic crystal ball I see two possible outcomes of the 2010 Mass. election:

I. Republican candidate Scott Brown will win one of the longest held Senate seats by a Democrat (and a Kennedy, in Mass. the dynasty’s home court!) in the United States and will be lauded as the savior to the Conservative cause and there will be much rejoycing. Most people will probably go on with their lives after that, but Tea Partiers will hale this as a God-sent victory to their movement and use it as a motivation to push candidates from other states elections on their family and friends, and most importantly people on online message boards! This isn’t so hard to imagine since Brown has a 48% of the vote according to an article on Talking Points Memo and there has been a lot of enthusiasm put behind this guy by the Tea Party crowd who are probably going to turn out to vote for him. You can probably imagine what the positive reaction will be like.

II. Democratic candidate Martha Coakley wins the heated race and is hailed as a real leader we can believe in and there is much rejoicing. Mass. continues to be the same haven of liberal ideals it has always been and people more or less go on with their lives. Stunned and disappointed by their candidate’s close but shocking loss Birthers/Tea Partiers immediately go on the offensive accusing the nebulous “Democrats” of coordinating with ACORN to rig the election and demand a run-off election or a vote recount be considered in light of the heinous robbery of freedoms that has just taken place. With the amount of enthusiasm on the Right for these elections I would not be surprised if the results of every important race this year are contested by these people, but just like with every other cause Birthers have taken up, they are laughed in the public and in the media due to their claims. Dr. Orly Taitz possibly files a civil lawsuit against every branch of the Mass. state government.

One thing we can be sure of in advance is that the reaction from the Birther/Tea Party community will be mixed in opinion and will most certainly be an angry and bitter one. There will definitely be some complaining to do in their camp. As our countdown to Mass. election day continues here, we at toast to you, our readers, and urge you to take advantage of your radio and television news before the 19th comes around and election season coverage and constant campaign commercials render it unwatchable by human standards until the summer. Cheers!