Haiti, disasters, and people worse than monsters…

[adrotate banner=”1″]The recent Haitian earthquake is a disaster of epic proportions. It is simply awful. But, some people just say completely horrible things. I don’t understand these people. They must be mentally ill. Or just fucking crazy. In any event, even in the worst of times, you will always have a right wing jackoff saying horrible things on the internet. Welcome to reality! So after you’ve donated to the Red Cross, read up on some things that will make you lose faith in humanity. REMEMBER TO DONATE FIRST, because some of you might not have the stomach to afterwards. You have been warned.

I will start this out with something I have never been able to truthfully say: The crazy posts you will see here are in the minority, and actually had a few people calling them out for being so damn awful. Not many, and not all, but some.

Haiti is literally hell on Earth!
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CBS faked Katrina for the epic ratings!
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cripplecreek shows up enough on the Wingnut Web we should offer him a salary…
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Hispaniola, home of the Sith!
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George Obama doesn’t care about non-black people!
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HA! Five people died, it’s hilarious!
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Why doesn’t God Earthquake the hell out of the Middle East? Does God worship Islam?
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See, this is why I told you to donate to the Red Cross first. Because now you know all that money went to Obama’s pockets! MuHAHAHAHAHAHA!! We got your money!
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God is really sort of a jerk…
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Haitians are the Original Welfare Queens!
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Haiti should just write a check to itself…
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This conspiracy of…something…totally proves Obama was born in Kenya!
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Haiti needs to bootstraps itself out of this earthquake.
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What the fuck?
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You can’t handle the secret horrors of Haitian Voodoo! I saw it on an episode of Heroes…
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I spit out my coffee in shock at your assertions that Haiti is a tragedy!
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Did hundreds of thousands of people die in that?
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As much fun as a few FR idiots are, you have to remember their inspiration has been screaming pretty much the same thing. First he bashes the island of Haiti:

After earthquake, Rush says Haiti produces “zilch, zero, nada,” asks when Obama will call for Aristide to be returned

Then he goes all racist on us!

Limbaugh: Obama will use Haiti to boost credibility with “light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country”

Granted, Pat Robertson probably has said the dumbest public comment when he said that the earthquake was because Haitians swore a pact to the devil.

But don’t worry, FreeRepublic, the worst comment I found about Haiti comes from our old favorite, ResistNet.com, where a guy actually wrote Haitian Earthquake fan-fiction to try to tickle your funny bone. leon lunsford is our Douchebag of the Day!
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Wingnut Web – Homo, homo sapien…wise, wise man Edition

[adrotate banner=”1″]It’s time to go down Resistnet Lane and see what those crazy kids are resisting to this week! Is is sandpaper? Bandaids? Toilet paper? Nope, they are resisting the president again! Just like all the patriots are doing. How easy it must be to be a Patriot, you just yell and scream and don’t think, and then get bitter and wonder why your kids don’t want to come home for Christmas any more and your wife ran off with the cable guy. Your only friends are a gun and the guy on the radio. He knows your pain. He loves you like your wife couldn’t, because she always wanted to be loved back. Ha! And now those stinking libs are coming for your guns! Quick, blow them away! What, it was just the meter reader? Uh, oh. You’re screwed now, Holmes. It must be a liberal plot. Obummer really was out to get you, better luck next time!

Rush is “my””heroe” and a Founding Father, because he hangs with the little man (from his giant compound)
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Lyn Valentine never apologizes for anything. She once accidentally pushed her child down the stairs, and then beat that child for crying.
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Ginny Zalnoski is Q*Bert!
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Lyn Valentine returns after she took some drug that made her repeat every punctuation mark three times for some reason…
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All Illegal Aliens are Welfare Queens. Those Illegals working in sweatshops and in the fields? Welfare Queens. Bonus call for government overthrow.
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bumbleshorts is still trying to get Arizona to secede from the union, because of…uh…stuff!
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Gee, we got two welfare queens right here! Hey, geniuses, if you overthrew the government that is currently putting food on your table, you’d starve!!
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A bankrupt state is like Dick Grayson being a ward of Bruce Wayne.
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Maybe you should look for work instead of reading conspiracy theories on the internet, good sir!
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Thank Sheriff Joe for abusing the law to punish his enemies and racial profiling anyone with dark skin!
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Let’s fire everyone in charge of government programs! Then they can all run around like chickens with their heads cut off, MuHAHAHAHAHA!
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President Buttface. That’s what we are up against.
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I bet this guy said the same thing about the Shoe Bomber…yeah, right!
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What kind of grade should you give the Bush Administration for letting them go?
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I wrote this letter about letting Mexicans die in ditches instead of having hospital care because I like steak.
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Obama told me he was going to kill 50% of the world’s population, during his speech on TV. He always talks to me, last week he told me to go buy a dog, and kill it and throw it on the neighbor’s porch. My neighbor was totally mad. What a jerk!
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Hey, look, more crazy mofos!
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And let us close on our new favorite Resistnet.com post, a post so crazy and insane that we’re just going to wait until the next Wingnut Web to dish out more Resistnet goodies as this one will still be stealing the thunder.
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Until next time, remember the Knights Templar!

TeaParty.org and Resistnet.com meet the N-word

[adrotate banner=”1″]TeaParty.org owner Dale Robertson is one of those patriotic guys who wanders around teabagging people while carrying signs with racial slurs on them. And he is being promoted by Resistnet.com! Or they were, everything related to Dale Robertson seems to have been scrubbed from Resistnet.com, though I still have the email I got from them promoting the TeaParty.org concerts.

So the story goes, Resistnet.com sent out an email promoting “Liberty Concerts” set up by TeaParty.org and the owner of the site, Dale Robertson. But then bloggers were told about this photo of Dale Robertson at a Teabagger Rally on Feb 28th:
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Note that he was kicked out of the rally for the sign, but just look at his sign. Expecially look at how the misspelled racial slur seems to be taped over that part of the sign, making me wonder what he possibly could be covering up. But I’m just weird like that.

Later Resistnet quickly sent out this follow up email message:

This is in response to the blast mail you received regarding the Liberty Concert being promoted by the National Tea Party group. The purpose of the email was to share an opportunity for you to experience the fellowship and company of
other conservatives, as we kick off the election season and strive to
take back America, restoring it to the Constitutional Republic it is
meant to be. While they are a separate group from us, we share many of
the same goals, a free, conservative America, and fiscal responsibility
within our government. We are not necessarily promoting their complete ideology.

And all information about the “Liberty Concerts” seems to have been completely scrubbed from the site (or their search is acting dumber than usual)

In any event, this is probably very embarrassing, thus, we’re reporting on it, even if we are late a bit. Darn us having lives and contributing to the economy!

Source and our own emails

Here is the full text of the email, for posterity’s sake.

Teaparty.org is inviting all of you to take part in their Liberty Concerts:

Tea Party Taking The Next Step

“We are setting the tone for taking back America with Liberty Concerts. We are not waiting until the first quarter of the year, we have already begun.” Dale Robertson, President and Founder of the Tea Party – TeaParty.org

‘Liberty Concerts’ is a venue designed to be the key to create a model for our Nation to Take Back America. The Tea Party does not intend to waste their time simply rallying. The Plan is to optimize the events, they will be fun and Citizens will be asked to run for office, with the focus of Restoring America, and thus, putting it on the Conservative track.

The goal is to shift attendees from being merely a presence at a rally, into involved Patriots recognizing the need to be engaged in the process of Self-Governance.
The Tea Party is gearing up for action. Robertson has a developing strategy to bring the Republic back under the control of ‘We The People.’ He is asking for thousands of Patriots across America, to run for office.

Robertson stated: “Even though the likelihood of their success is diminished by the lack of experience or financial support; the knowledge will be invaluable for the next election cycle and a point of pride for the American People.”

The Tea Party’s number one imperative, is to have candidates on the ballot. The second priority is to get out the vote, especially in Texas where Robertson lives and the home of over 800,000 members of the Tea Party……….

Robertson is molding the Tea Party events to empower Citizens so they will make a difference in the November 2010 elections. The ongoing tactics are to prioritize States, creating a durable model for ballot access, voter eligibility, precinct chair/county chairs, and candidate awareness. The Tea Party is actively seeking candidates that represent Conservative Constitutional Values. It appears the Major Parties can’t get in step with such a complex idea as Conservative Constitutional Values; therefore, the Tea Party will make it easy for the Independent Parties to break the glass ceiling and get on the ballot.

The ‘Liberty Concerts’ event taking place in Stafford, Texas is a developing prototype, which when successful, will allow the Tea Party to create a thriving event not in months but days. We will be quick on the draw, sure fired and ready to rock in a matter of only a few days. This Tea Party formula will work against incredible odds and will be nothing short of a miracle, but Robertson believes with all his heart all the pieces will fall into place.

Does the Tea Party really believe it can make a difference in November? “Some say, “talk is cheap” but 2 years ago when I started the modern day Tea Party no one believed it could work now 7 million strong, the world is listening and America is hoping, we will not fail.” Dale Robertson – TeaParty.org

Meet your future occupiers

[adrotate banner=”1″]When the Wingnuts begin firing off their high-powered assault rifles and declare the beginning of Civil War II these nice folks will be there to greet you with either a bullet (if you don’t look like them) or a cheery gift-basket full of MRE rations, Confederate flags, and Bibles (maybe some tea bags too).

Yup, if you can’t read their banner this is a photo of those brave souls in the Texas branch of The Well Regulated Militia (http://militias.ning.com), or atleast the members that were brave enough to meet other internet militia folks in middle-of-nowhere Texas. The Regulator (Oath Keeper), who keeps popping up on Resistnet and Militia.Ning, posted this proud photo so I assume that’s him standing in the middle with the .44 that would make Charles Bronson run in the other direction. Let’s see who else we got here…

This pictures almost reads like the High School A/V Club’s yearbook photo (except with a lot more guns and illegitimate children). Looks like all the members of The Texas Well Regulated Militia made it out for this photo op though. We’ve got:

The young kid who got dragged to this boring dumb thing by his lame dad

The shotgun wedding couple who decided to bring their 2 year old along so he could play with all the pretty firearms

Some pudgy porker guy whose weapon of choice appears to be a baseball bat or plank of wood

A creepy Sam Elliott look alike who prefers to bludgeon people with guns rather than shoot them

One of the GEICO cavemen (or what I assume is Sam Elliott’s wife)

The token Vietnam vet who prefers historic rifles

The fat goony looking fellow with an AK-47 (Jorts do not provide good camouflage buddy!)

What I can only assume is fat goony guy’s hot sister

Butchy McButcherson (the token closet lesbian of the group)

and some poor old guy who they found sleeping at the bus station (and who continues to sleep while his picture is taken, at least they propped a rifle up against him).

Not pictured: the crystal meth lab

This cheery fellow is apparently part of the group too but I guess he didn’t fit into the photo with his huge gun and all. The following text was included along with the pictures:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)
Do YOU recognize any of these people?

These Texas boys & ladies will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken fried steak.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Snopes.com is run by Communist Liberals!

[adrotate banner=”3″]Snopes.com is a great website. I’d estimate that at least 1.7 million people (a figure I just pulled out of my ass like so many Tea Party organizers) visit Snopes.com every day to settle silly little arguments over some dumb “fact” that someone heard off the Internet that sounds just too ridiculous to be true. Beyond debunking things like Old Wives Tales and rumors about Coca-Cola, Snopes has also turned their attention in recent years to cataloging and analyzing rumors, myths, stories, pictures, and all the rest of it from events like 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina.

And wouldn’t you know it, things have gotten so ridiculously stupid with the Birther/Tea Party movement that Snopes has even dedicated their valuable time to debunking pretty much everything that has come out of the mouth of Orly Taitz, Steve Elliott (the guy in charge of Grassfire.org and Resistnet.com), Rush Limbaugh, various chain e-mails, racist photochops, and everything else those illustrious “Patriots” have come up with. Before getting started I’d just like to point out the sheer number of Snopes posts about President Obama rumors and how 98% of those rumors are marked with a red “this-is-utterly-bullshit” dot (yes it is true that the winning number for the Pick-3 in Illinois lottery was 6-6-6 the day Obama was sworn in as President, why has Glenn Beck not made light of this scandal yet?). But further more, and even more importantly, you can’t trust ANYTHING Snopes has to say about ANY matter WHATSOEVER PERIOD END OF STORY because it’s run by Communist Fascists according to the same Birthers who Snopes likes to debunk.

For whatever reason this “Associated Press article” that asserts that Orly’s Obama eligibility court case is being heard by the Supreme Court just won’t die. For smart people like us at TarsTarkas.net and you the reader it means more eye-rolling and sighing, but for the echo-chamber loving Birther movement it means continually getting outraged by the same fake news article every two months and having to be talked down to by another Birther who found out it was fake the last time the article surfaced. For your enjoyment here is the text of this fake AP article (notice the language in it and how a high school graduate could have written something more convincing):

VERY QUIETLY OBAMA’S CITIZENSHIP CASE REACHES THE SUPREME COURT

AP- WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move certain to fuel the debate over Obama’s qualifications for the presidency,the group “Americans for Freedom of Information” has Released copies of President Obama’s college transcripts from Occidental College . Released today, the transcript from the school indicates that Obama, under the name Barry Soetoro, received financial aid as a foreign student from Indonesia as an undergraduate.

The transcript was released by Occidental College in compliance with a court order in a suit brought by the group in the Superior Court of California. The transcript shows that Obama (Soetoro) applied for financial aid and was awarded a fellowship for foreign students from the Fulbright Foundation Scholarship program. To qualify, for the scholarship, a student must claim foreign citizenship.

This document would seem to provide the smoking gun that many of Obama’s detractors have been seeking. Along with the evidence that he was first born in Kenya and there is no record of him ever applying for US citizenship, this is looking pretty grim. The news has created a firestorm at the White House as the release casts increasing doubt about Obama’s legitimacy and qualification to serve as President article titled, “Obama Eligibility Questioned,” leading some to speculate that the story may overshadow economic issues on Obama’s first official visit to the U.K.

In a related matter, under growing pressure from several groups, Justice Antonin Scalia announced that the Supreme Court agreed on Tuesday to hear arguments concerning Obama’s legal eligibility to serve as President in a case brought by Leo Donofrio of New Jersey . This lawsuit claims Obama’s dual citizenship disqualified him from serving as president. Donofrio’s case is just one of 18 suits brought by citizens demanding proof of Obama’s citizenship or qualification to serve as president.

Gary Kreep of the United States Justice Foundation has released the results of their investigation of Obama’s campaign spending. This study estimates that Obama has spent upwards of $950,000 in campaign funds in the past year with eleven law firms in 12 states for legal resources to block disclosure of any of his personal records. Mr. Kreep indicated that the investigation is still ongoing but that the final report will be provided to the U.S. attorney general, Eric Holder.

Mr. Holder has refused to comment on the matter.

Here is the Snopes page that deals with most of the information concerning the Orly Taitz lawsuit. Despite the fact that this fake story was posted on Resistnet TWO MONTHS AGO (and another two months before that) and received generally the same reaction (you know a story is bullshit when Birthers come out of the woodwork to speak against something another Birther posted) you still get these geniuses inquiring about where they should channel their outrage.

Birther elligibility

First post, even the dumb ones are inquiring as to where they can find a link to the story. Not because they want to verify where it’s coming from but because they want to chain email it to everyone they’ve ever met.

AZ is concerned about Snopes

Wow when AZ-concerned talks something down you KNOW it must be bullshit. I also don’t have to point out how ridiculous Suzanne Fort makes herself sound. Oh I can’t trust these Snopes people because they might be Democrats, I’ll have to confer with my fact-checker Andrew Breitbart before I can accept this information as unbiased.

Fake Hawaiian Birth Cert

The only reason I’ve ever gone to Hawaii was to get some fake documents made up so I assume this too. I mean Obama hasn’t come out against this and said he’s NOT forging his birth certificate while on vacation. I got a funny feeling about all this…

The boy who cried bullshit

Ah now the truth starts to come out. Unfortunately The Regulator (Oath Keeper) can’t continue with this trend because we all know all he does every waking minute of every waking day is read up on what Resistnet and HotAir and FOXNation have to say.

Snopes is funded by ACORN!

Thank you Jim! Not only do you point out that this kind of thing is STUPID but you also bring to light the fact that this kind of BULLSHIT isn’t being properly moderated. But wait I thought Resistnet was moderating themselves super extra hard now because of this kind of thing. Also Snopes is run by ACORN, no surprise there. I wonder what Youtube video The Regulator (Oath Keeper) learned that from.

Jim is a smart guy (kinda)

I agree with everything Jim says (except the part at the end about shredding this conversation, we here at TarsTarkas.net believe we should archive such a discussion for the good of all man kind and in the name of internet humor!).

And there you have it. All these responses for something that’s circulated SIX TIMES ALREADY on Resistnet and has been debunked by these same amnesiacs over and over again. But don’t worry, everything else you read on the Internet must be true.

Wingnut Web – O’Hitler + Are Laughing (All The Way To Hell !!) Edition

[adrotate banner=”1″]Now that I have returned from a successful War on Christmas (we nuked the North Pole) it is back to usual for the Wingnut Webs! Resistnet.com, FreeRepublic.com, theFoxNation.com, and our favorite Ning sites will be constant targets this new year. As will Facebook, thanks to their new privacy settings and people who comment on conservative site pages using their real names. You would think they would not call for the murder of Barack Obama on their Facebook wall, but you would be wrong. Oh, well, the FBI is on speed dial! But that’s later in the game, the here and now is Resistnet.com and what has been going on there. The answer? Nasty stuff, as usual.

It looks like Resistnet.com’s masters at Grassfire.org are getting upset over the constant exposure thanks to Wingnut Web! Will this measure make Resistnet.com a leader of the Teabagger movement like they so much want to be? No.
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Let’s see what kind of topics get approved by the Moderators and Admins at Resistnet.com…
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Hey, look, a lone voice figuring out this probably isn’t a good idea. Too bad for her the Admins disagree, but kudos to Sunshiney Day for finally saying something not horrible!
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But enough fun, now let’s learn about how Al Gore IS Farmville! Time to block that App!
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Damn that John Smith! First Pocahontas, now this!
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What if….your CAPS LOCK key was broken!
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So I am a proud member of that 5th-col-trc.ning.com site, and this was among the questions asked when I joined:
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I am now “General of Ohio” or something. I suggest all of you join as well and help plan the revolution!
(See also here)

Did Bush mess up Tora Bora?
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Never! Facts don’t matter when Kerry shot himself three times so he could run for president!
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The Associated Press is a Whig
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This had nothing to do with the topic…
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If Al Gore can destroy America with a PowerPoint slideshow, is America really that great?
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Guy Who Has No Problem With Spending Billions To Bomb Muslims is outraged!
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Obama is the Irish Hitler
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Which rules again?
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This post is awesome.
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Amanda is proud of people running up to Congresspeople while screaming, all while imagining Nancy Pelosi freaking out.
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Okay, John P. HAS to be a deep-cover troll. He just HAS TO BE!
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Kill Whitey!
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Gee, Carol, it looks like your brothers surround YOU!
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Let’s see, he misspelled the post title, his user name, calls for armed revolution, and switches from Ed II to Ed III when he signs his sig. A sure-fire revolutionary general if I ever saw one!
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I want politics to be like the WWE!
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No, you are sitting down, at your computer, doing nothing. WHEEEEEEEE!!!!
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carol , mouse warrior of RUSH is 10000x more Jesusy than you ever will be!
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A fat guy with a drug addiction, avid smoker, and older age has chest pains? Must be Obama’s thugs!
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That’s the Wingnut Web for this week, and the last of the year. 2010 brings us more Wingnut hilarity as they attempt to flip the House and drive the Kenyan Usurper into the sea thanks to their wide array of teabagging candidates. It will be a fun year, so hold onto your butts and remember the Knights Templar!