TarsTarkas.NET and the Lawsuit of Doom!

[adrotate banner=”1″]Just waking up in the morning gotta thank God
I don’t know but today seems kinda odd
No barking from the dog, no smog
And momma cooked a breakfast with no hog
I got my grub on, but didn’t pig out
Finally got an email–

Wait, an email??? Uh-oh!

TarsTarkas.NET: Slander in your blog

This is an enquiry e-mail via http://tarstarkas.net from:
Michael Beckham


I’m going to give you guys 1 week to dissolve this thread which specifically targets me, and slanders me as well. I have made screen shots of this blog to present to my attorney. This will be interesting to say the least. Please remove the thread, or I will file suit against you guys for posting FALSE accusations against me. I will also contact the attorney general in regards to this being on the internet. Bringing it across state lines via the internet makes this a federal issue. I’m asking nicely. Thank you

No, not slander!

Okay, fine, I’ll check it out. A quick look at the post in question shows that it is impossible for anyone to not realize statements made were jokes about Michael Beckham. Considering Michael Beckham was the one who went public and posted tons of information linking his name to child molestation charges, even if they aren’t true, then Michael Beckham shouldn’t be upset when people start Googling “Michael Beckham” and “child molester”. If I started to claim that I was made of maple syrup, people are going to google “Tars Tarkas maple syrup” and joke about it, and then I can’t sue them for “slander” because they’re believing it.

But maybe Beckham has a problem with some of the comments, in which case he should get a life. Several of them point out what kind of character Beckham is, others are posts of emails from the militia dudes Beckham is feuding with that seem to collaborate parts of what the others are saying. The rest is just the comments of the popcorn eaters enjoying the show.

Now, Micheal Beckham is a member of the Well Regulated Militias board (aka the WRAM guys) who were briefly our targets as they were involved in a bunch of infighting and filling up our inboxes with various conspiracy theories about how the government was infiltrating them and their infighting that caused the group to splinter into pieces. That’s what I get for joining random Ning sites advertised on Resistnet.com. Eventually, we got bored as more hilarious targets presented themselves, and left the WRAM guys to go play armyman in the woods with their toy guns.

Our mistake. We should have never stopped reporting on the goings on of the WRAM guys, because they are still hilarious! So expect more WRAM stuff soon.

So I guess TarsTarkas.NET will now be shut down by US Attorney General Eric Holder, and we’re all gonna get sued for slander. Which is awesome because even if we made actual charges designed to hurt Micheal Beckham’s reputation and not sarcastic jokes in response to his own broadcasting of his junior high school drama, it would be libel. Luckily, EFF.org has got our back, and as we are all brainwashed Obots Eric Holder is well aware of us and we are on his payroll. But now TarsTarkas.net has finally arrived and gotten a lawsuit threat, just as we’re about to announce the politics-only spinoff site Monday.

I have received no reply from Mr. Beckham when I told him no, but any updates will be reported. Until then, remember the knights templar. If anyone wants Eric Holder’s autograph when he comes to arrest me, let me know in the comments!

Dr Teeth

Crazy Racist Wingnut Republican Tea Party Power Hour – Part III

[adrotate banner=”1″]Or something. I have lost count. It seems those darn teabaggers and Republicans are always causing trouble. This is some recent events that keep happening when I am trying to work or find high resolution pictures of bees so I can photoshop them so they are eating ice cream:

1 – Confederate History Month x2 – Both Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell and Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour have declared Treason In Defense Of Slavery History Months. I mean, Confederate History Month. So all those Patriotic Americans are flocking to support this celebration of treason. I am sure this is doing wonders for the Republicans trying to look not-racist. And neither governor bothered to mention slavery at all, which is odd, since it was the whole point of the war. The backpedaling then began…

To me it’s a sort of feeling that it’s just a nit. That it is not significant. It’s trying to make a big deal out of something that doesn’t matter for diddly.

Let’s celebrate Sherman’s March by reenacting it each year! You see, our cultural heritage is important and your feelings don’t matter for diddly….

2- Report about tea party shows that many of them seem to think that blacks and latinos are lazy. And the richer you are, the more you think blacks and latinos are lazy!

Approximately 45% of Whites either strongly or somewhat approve of the movement. Of those, only 35% believe Blacks to be hardworking, only 45 % believe Blacks are intelligent, and only 41% think that Blacks are trustworthy. Perceptions of Latinos aren’t much different. While 54% of White Tea Party supporters believe Latinos to be hardworking, only 44% think them intelligent, and even fewer, 42% of Tea Party supporters believe Latinos to be trustworthy. When it comes to gays and lesbians, White Tea Party supporters also hold negative attitudes. Only 36% think gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to adopt children, and just 17% are in favor of same-sex marriage.

For some happy news, the Tea Party is rating less popular than the IRS! (pdf link) – Suck it, teabaggers!

3- New York Teabagger backed Governor candidate Carl Paladino sent racist emails for months before someone bothered to alert anyone. Meaning all his teabagger buddies were perfectly fine with the constant stream of racist crap. And the bestiality! But it is all the Democrats’ fault!
Overview of the email forwards at WNYmedia, with more here and here

Don’t the the Teabaggers tell you that Carl Paladino (who has also fathered a child out of wedlock) isn’t a tea party endorsed candidate, as he was speaking at their rallies as little as April 8th and getting good press on FR!

Wah! Those nasty Dems made me send the Horse Porn!

4- Speaking of racist teabaggers, controversial tweets on the Twitter page of the local Springboro Tea Party have “triggered cancellations by several local and statewide candidates and elected officials”

This tweet:

Sent by a guy with a half-Latino son! The guy is Sonny Thomas, and his ex says: “Basically, it’s like he’s saying he hates his son,” said the mother of Thomas’ son, Alana Turner. Sonny Thomas is a classy guy who just got visitation rights back for said son after losing them for domestic violence shenanigans. Sonny Thomas is also blaming his racism on the Bee Gees! Yes, seriously! –

“As I am a lifetime music lover of all genres, I always have some sort of song that can fit almost any occasion or situation. Coincidently the song “Spicks and Specks” by the Bee Gees had been on my player. I made the reference to the song not stopping to think of the era that it was produced and taken out of context could be offensive to some people.“

Notice the pattern of blame here? It is never their own fault. Party of personal responsibility my butt!

5- Ohio teabaggers have been given their marching orders – don’t be racist! Also, don’t be drunk and don’t throw money at sick people.

6- Oklahoma lawmakers want to set up a Teabagger Militia! I am sure that won’t result in another federal building in Oklahoma with a big smoking hole in it.

7- Victoria Jackson is still crazy

8- In non-racism but just stupid news, the OnlineTaxRevolt is sending out emails begging for money so they can pay to get their April 15th march on TV.

Oh, and remember, all these many, many, many, many incidents are just a few bad apples!

This just in…

[adrotate banner=”1″]Muppet Newsflash

Special Report!

Someone is impersonating someone in the United Conservative States of America Militia!

But who is being impersonated? The email sender didn’t bother to even say! It is a complete mystery. But if you are getting emails, WATCH OUT! They are all impersonated! Even that email from your mom asking you what shoes you want for your birthday? All fake. Your Mom is really a Government Agent sewing chaos. Beware!

Don’t worry, we got a guy on the case:
So soon we shall find out the mystery of the impersonations of no one!

Until then, we leave you with the rest of TarsTarkas.NET, already in progress!

Wingnut Web – The Civilians Military, rappin cause the Muslims keepin us down


The truth in Hip-Hop. TCM is raw reality. Brothers Yeshua and Paranoid are some of Colorado’s greatest underground emcee’s. The two have been rapping since ’99 and have written songs about everything from growing up poor as fucc to songs about revolution against the New World Order. Checc out our website.

Checc us out on MYSPACE. yo!

Cop our album too homie (but only if you love America and aren’t black or mexican)!

The rap duo of T.C.M. consist of brothers, Yeshua and Paranoid, who have been rapping together for years. Raised both in Colorado and on the West Coast, they have developed a very original sound. Yeshua handles most of the production with a hardcore, symphony driven sound that fuels the energy that comes through in their lyrics. Established in the late nineties, T.C.M. has consistently done one thing above all else, that’s pushed the limit on political correctness. In 2007 they released their first full length album “Tactical Combat Maneuvers” which is a fan favorite and currently available for sale.

And we got muttafuccin merch all up in dis bitch (and it’s cool if you’re mexican for this one)!

Man these guys sure were late to the game. If memory serves, the whole gun totin’ gat strapped gangsta revolutionary thing was big from 1993-1996 when guys like NWA and Ice Cube were writing songs about growing up on the streets. You can’t fault these guys for putting in the effort though! Since 1999 ‘The Civilians Military’ has been bustin flows about the New World Order and FEMA concentration camps and most recently about killing presidents and bringing violent revolution to the corrupt Communist Fascist regime in the United States government.

Spreadin their street knowledge through songs like ‘Enemy of the State’, ‘Masked Militant’, ‘Paybacc Time’, and ‘C-Section’ The Civilian’s Military has been a hit with the Patriot movement and the backwoods militias for years now. So popular in fact, that TCM has spawned multiple side projects for the group. You can find all this at the band’s homepage RapSheetz.com.

Riot Gear Clothing has got some great counter-revolutionary threads for the American whose “awakened” to the situation in the country today (that the US is run by Muslims), as well as shirts for that one militia type in our family whose always impossible to shop for. Dog City Chronicles is the band’s comic book for those “literate” fans who want to get some class and substance from The Civilians Military sonic machine.

Dog City Chronicles is the story of Denver, Colorado in the year 2045 A.D. Basically, it’s about the future. Denver is the new capital of the new government of North America, Canada, Mexico, and America have all merged like the E.U. and we have givin up the bill of rights and the constitution. Micro chips are starting to be forced on the people. The middle class has been completely destroyed leaving only the extremely rich, the ruling 3%, and the extremely poor, the rest of us. Most people live in rampant poverty, treated like slaves in a literal police state, all thanks to the on-going war on terrorism. This is half the story, tales of crime and survival from the grimy streets of Old Denver also known as Dog City. The flipside is Neo-D, or M.I.L.E. Two, a luscious, self-contained city within a building. A sky-scraper a mile high, thus earning it’s ambitious name. Built just east of the run down metropolis, it stands as the first of it’s kind. Here is where all the politicos, the bankers, corporate heads and various other well-to-dos make their home. This series is really a tale of two cities, two ways of life, and the revolution that is seemingly inevitable. It will explore the many lives of the people caught in a war of polarized cultures.

Now I’ve never been to Denver before, but are you guys harboring aliens and people with spraycans as heads? If so, that shit is really wack yo and ya’ll should just stop lettin the government tell you what to do, like seriously right now. I’d post some of TCMs hilarious music videos but the video embedding doesn’t seem to want to work. For further reading on The Civilians Militia you might want to check out the links section of RapSheetz.com which includes lots of useful and truthful information about the 9/11 conspiracy, Prison Planet and Alex Jones, sites where you can become a member of your state’s militia, and a bunch of online radio shows that will tell you the TRUTH about how the government is using mind control to manipulate you into turning Communist. Tight shit yo.

UPDATE: Our crack investigative team went through Myspace and recovered a picture of MC Yeshua and his sister. He looks pretty carefree for someone who believes a violent political revolution is right around the corner:

TCM Yeshua

Oath Keepers, child rape, and stolen grenade launchers

[adrotate banner=”1″]Speaking of militia crazies and child molestation, a leader in the Oath Keepers movement has been arrested for child rape, and then the police found a stolen grenade launcher in his house. Obviously to hunt deer with.

First, some background on the Oath Keepers, for those of you who are thankfully unaware of this certain clique of right wing crazy. The Oath Keepers are military and former military “patriots” who are

Launched in March 2009 by Las Vegas resident and former paratrooper Stewart Rhodes, Oath Keepers claims to be a nonpartisan group of current and retired law enforcement and military personnel who vow to fulfill their oaths to the Constitution.

More specifically, the group’s members, which number in the thousands, pledge to disobey orders they deem unlawful, including directives to disarm the American people and to blockade American cities. By refusing the latter order, the Oath Keepers hope to prevent cities from becoming “giant concentration camps,” a scenario the 44-year-old Rhodes says he can envision happening in the coming years.

“The whole point of Oath Keepers is to stop a dictatorship from ever happening here,” Rhodes, a former Army paratrooper and Yale-trained lawyer, said in an interview with the Review-Journal. “My focus is on the guys with the guns, because they can’t do it without them.

”We say if the American people decide it’s time for a revolution, we’ll fight with you.“

More random stuff including their pledge on the official site.

But back to the story here:

Marine Sgt. Charles Dyer, aka “July4Patriot,” has been accused of raping a 7-year-old girl. He has spoken at at least one teabagger protest (July 4th) and is also a bigwig in connecting the Oath Keepers movement and the Tea Parties. But the Oath Keepers are disavowing him thanks to these charges:

An ex-military man has been arrested on charges of rape of a child and forcible sodomy.

Charles Alan Dyer, 29, of Marlow, was arrested Tuesday afternoon by Stephens County Sheriff’s deputies, said Sheriff Wayne McKinney. Dyer served in the United States Marines in Iraq.

The second amendment of the Constitution is the only amendment:

During the search the sheriff’s deputies noted several firearms and a device believed to be a Colt M-203, 40-millimeter grenade launcher, a complaint filed in the United States District Court of Western Oklahoma by Alcohol, Firearms and Tobacco Special Agent Brett Williams said.

(also some of the Oath Keepers show up in the comments on CrooksandLiars and get mocked to shreds, for those of you who like that stuff check it out!)

CrooksandLiars also adds:

Meanwhile, unsurprisingly, the folks at American Resistance Movement — a group Dyer was also prominently involved in — are claiming that Dyer was set up, and the girl who accused him was “programmed” to do so. Accordingly, they’ve set up a “Free July4Patriot” fund, with a little button on their front page so you can donate.



http://www.americanresistancemovement.com/ (hey, a message board!)

Look at all them July4Patriot defense threads stickied! At least one of them has a bajillion YouTube videos of various Patriots defending their boy from the evil programmed 7 year old girl.

The PayPal donate button.

Let’s see what these American Resistance Movementers are all about

I see…

We need a crazy leader to lead us in killing government dudes!

Obama is chemtrailing the frak out of these guys!

Fun Fact: All traffic jams are caused by police cars just frakking with traffic!

UPDATE: CrooksandLiars posted more info on the Oath Keepers running for their lives away from July4Patriot

Wingnut Web – TarsTarkas.NET is Infiltrated Edition

[adrotate banner=”1″]Oh Noes! TarsTarkas.NET is in trouble! In case you haven’t noticed, TarsTarkas.NET has been infiltrated by militia types who are destroying this site. Or so that was the plan, but no one could be bothered to do anything (as usual from these keyboard militias) and thus TarsTarkas.NET was saved. TarsTarkas.NET victory! Of course, doing what we do, we have people talking about us all the time. And the best part is, we know about it. Yep, that’s right. We know. And sometimes, we share. Because sharing is caring. So let’s go all Care Bear Stare and check out what The Well Regulated Militia (http://militias.ning.com) thinks of TarsTarkas.NET (we’ve met them before here and here and many members are also Resistnet.com members):

It begins…

It’s gonna go down, son, and TarsTarkas.NET will pay

fedup! got fedup with figuring out how to comment or join the forums or send an email

We are so brainwashed that only the communistiest communists can give us orders.

fedup! is TarsTarkas.NET’s biggest fan. Just wait until they find out we have multiple accounts as members of their militia. And we have blog commentors who are also undercover in their militia. With the recent infighting in their militia and people dumped, it is probably there is hardly any members of that militia at all.

GodsModernDayMartyr (a name that totally doesn’t mean they want to get gunned down by the Feds) falls for another ruse.

TarsTarkas.NET: buncha dumbasses, utterly brainwashed, just plain evil, and self-destructing boobs.

Well, there you go. If you want to see this thread, too bad, it got deleted weeks ago during one of the many militia.ning.com infighting spats where threads were deleted left and right and many emails were sent out with various people pointing fingers. The FBI doesn’t need to follow these guys, they’re too busy destroying themselves. This is why children shouldn’t have guns.