Destroy All Monsters
Destroy All Monsters
aka Attack of the Marching Monsters aka Kaiju soshingeki

1968![]()

Directed by Ishiro Honda
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Godzilla before that first morning coffee.
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When I was but a wee lad first learning about the Godzilla experience, catching Super Scary Saturday showings of G-flicks, buying Godzilla films on VHS that weren’t showing up on tv, recording films airing on the local UHF station, I was also reading up on every monster movie related book I could read. My favorites were by a guy named Daniel Cohen*, who wrote such books as Super-Monsters and Science Fiction’s Greatest Monsters, well-read copies of which still lie somewhere in my mom’s attic. There was also another set of books at the library that were neon orange with a book each for Dracula, the Mummy, King Kong, Godzilla, and a few other monsters. The thing was, every library in the area did NOT have the Godzilla book! I was so angry! Imagine 8 year old Tars so mad he purposefully murdered his entire Oregon Trail travel party. Some say I went too far, but they say so only via their gravestone markers…
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Manda and Godzilla set up their slot car racers!
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But is there a point to that rambling first paragraph? Yes! You see, of the Godzilla flicks and lore of Godzilla flicks, knowledge of a movie containing all sorts of Toho monsters was spread. This mythical, magical movie, had like all sorts of monsters, including monsters I had never heard of, beat the tar out of each other and aliens attack. It was Destroy All Monsters. And it never aired on TV anywhere near me. So sad! It also wasn’t at any video store. Destroy All Monsters became a mocking ghost, forever out of reach. Until one day in college suddenly it was on VHS tape. I was like “HELL YEAH!” and bought me some Destroy All Monsters, watched it, loved it, and now don’t know where the tape is because a DVD version was released shortly thereafter. So yeah. And now I have this cool version, which has the AIP dub merged with a widescreen format custom made by some guy on the internet. Because I’m awesome like that.
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Check out this curve, ladies!
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Was Destroy All Monsters worth the 14 years of questing to find? Damn straight it was! Though it isn’t perfect, it is entertaining. It’s got alien invasions, an awesome monster fight finale, Akira Kubo, alien chicks in silver hoodies and capes, 1960s astromen costumes in bright primary colors, attempts to make rocket propulsion scientifically accurate, lasers, and Minya! The only thing missing from this film is Don Frye, but he pops up in another flick years later to make it all right.
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Gah this water’s too cold! Back to the blanket for me!
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I save the whales….for dessert!
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Monster Roll Call!
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Moonbase Mission Control stole it’s color scheme from TarsTarkas.NET!
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Posted by Tars Tarkas -
March 18, 2011 at 2:12 am
Categories: Bad, Movies Tags: Akira Kubo, Anguirus, Baragon, Fire Dragon, Godzilla, Gorosaurus, Japan, Jun Tazaki, kaiju, Kenichiro Maruyama, King Ghidorah, Kumonga, Kyoko Ai, Manda, Minya, Mothra, Rodan, Yoshio Tsuchiya, Yukiko Kobayashi
Son of Godzilla
Son of Godzilla
aka Monster Island’s Decisive Battle: Godzilla’s Son aka Kaiju-shima no Kessen Gojira no Musuko

1967![]()

Directed by Jun Fukuda
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Hey, what the hell are you doing in my shower??
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Son of Godzilla is a damn awesome film, but it is also a film that you pretty much need to see as a kid. Looking back on the film as an adult, there are plenty of things wrong, but there are plenty of things right. And as the waves of nostalgia wash over you, even the few problems you see melt away into the bliss of Minya. I can imagine people viewing this for the first times as adults, and much of the magic will be gone.
I still have the VHS tape of Son of Godzilla I bought with my own money as a small kid. I didn’t want to wait for the film to pop up on TBS’s Super Scary Saturday or the local station KLJB-TV which would sometimes show Godzilla movies during their Sunday “we gotta air SOMETHING!” programming. I watched that tape like crazy, it getting just as much play as Godzilla’s Revenge, Ghidrah, and a few other Godzilla flicks I watched religiously.
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That’s right, baby. Not ten minutes old and chicks are lining up to serve me!
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Minya was designed to appeal to kids, and it worked beautifully. He’s the ultimate lure to get kids even more excited to watch the monster films. It’s the same old gimmick as masked crimefighters having young kid sidekicks. Minya isn’t even the first monster kid, Kong had a son decades before Godzilla was even a reality. But Minya has stood the test of time and even survived a brief attempt to usurp him of his role as Godzilla’s son. Suck it, Godzilla Junior, you’re just a second rate extra from Dinosaurs!
Son of Godzilla features two other new monsters, Kumonga and Kamacuras, aka Speiga and Gimantis. Both are creepy bug monsters, preventing anyone becoming attached to them instead of Minya or Godzilla as the heroes. Sure, there are people who are into spiders and insects, and even Mothra is a hero, but the gut reaction of the bugs vs. the cute kid is obviously what they were going for.
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Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
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Just FYI, I’m calling them Minya, Speiga, and Gimantis through the plot section. None of that Minilla, Kumonga, or Kamacuras crap. That’s because these are the names I grew up with. And this is my review, so I can do what I want! Nyeh nyeh nyeh!
The remote island location with the small science crew allows for some lower budget action. They realize they need a character to have everything explained to, so in airdrops the standard reporter character. Godzilla films need reporter and scientist characters, it is the peanut butter and chocolate on the kaiju bread. Despite many of the characters getting no lines and just wandering around in the background, some of them are pretty heavy hitters.
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LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLadies!
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So I did my best with the cast list, several of the researchers don’t really get names or personalities, so I played mix and match.

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Kaiju Roll Call!
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I’m totally gonna Serve you, Gimantis! I see some haters grillin’ I see some ladies chillin’ I see that girlie I’ve been plottin’ to get She can hop in the whip And we can Pump p p Pump Pump it up
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2 comments - What do you think?
Posted by Tars Tarkas -
March 13, 2011 at 12:14 am
Categories: Bad, Movies Tags: "Little Man" Machan, Akihiko Hirata, Akira Kubo, Bibari Maeda, Godzilla, Haruo Nakajima, Kamacuras, Kenichiro Maruyama, Kenji Sahara, Kumonga, Minya, Seiji Onaka, Seishiro Kuno, Tadao Takashima, Yasuhiko Saijo, Yoshio Tsuchiya





































