Author Archives: skiplogic

Meet your future occupiers

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When the Wingnuts begin firing off their high-powered assault rifles and declare the beginning of Civil War II these nice folks will be there to greet you with either a bullet (if you don’t look like them) or a cheery gift-basket full of MRE rations, Confederate flags, and Bibles (maybe some tea bags too).

Yup, if you can’t read their banner this is a photo of those brave souls in the Texas branch of The Well Regulated Militia (http://militias.ning.com), or atleast the members that were brave enough to meet other internet militia folks in middle-of-nowhere Texas. The Regulator (Oath Keeper), who keeps popping up on Resistnet and Militia.Ning, posted this proud photo so I assume that’s him standing in the middle with the .44 that would make Charles Bronson run in the other direction. Let’s see who else we got here…

This pictures almost reads like the High School A/V Club’s yearbook photo (except with a lot more guns and illegitimate children). Looks like all the members of The Texas Well Regulated Militia made it out for this photo op though. We’ve got:

The young kid who got dragged to this boring dumb thing by his lame dad

The shotgun wedding couple who decided to bring their 2 year old along so he could play with all the pretty firearms

Some pudgy porker guy whose weapon of choice appears to be a baseball bat or plank of wood

A creepy Sam Elliott look alike who prefers to bludgeon people with guns rather than shoot them

One of the GEICO cavemen (or what I assume is Sam Elliott’s wife)

The token Vietnam vet who prefers historic rifles

The fat goony looking fellow with an AK-47 (Jorts do not provide good camouflage buddy!)

What I can only assume is fat goony guy’s hot sister

Butchy McButcherson (the token closet lesbian of the group)

and some poor old guy who they found sleeping at the bus station (and who continues to sleep while his picture is taken, at least they propped a rifle up against him).

Not pictured: the crystal meth lab

This cheery fellow is apparently part of the group too but I guess he didn’t fit into the photo with his huge gun and all. The following text was included along with the pictures:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)
Do YOU recognize any of these people?

These Texas boys & ladies will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken fried steak.
4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Snopes.com is run by Communist Liberals!

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7

Snopes.com is a great website. I’d estimate that at least 1.7 million people (a figure I just pulled out of my ass like so many Tea Party organizers) visit Snopes.com every day to settle silly little arguments over some dumb “fact” that someone heard off the Internet that sounds just too ridiculous to be true. Beyond debunking things like Old Wives Tales and rumors about Coca-Cola, Snopes has also turned their attention in recent years to cataloging and analyzing rumors, myths, stories, pictures, and all the rest of it from events like 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina.

And wouldn’t you know it, things have gotten so ridiculously stupid with the Birther/Tea Party movement that Snopes has even dedicated their valuable time to debunking pretty much everything that has come out of the mouth of Orly Taitz, Steve Elliott (the guy in charge of Grassfire.org and Resistnet.com), Rush Limbaugh, various chain e-mails, racist photochops, and everything else those illustrious “Patriots” have come up with. Before getting started I’d just like to point out the sheer number of Snopes posts about President Obama rumors and how 98% of those rumors are marked with a red “this-is-utterly-bullshit” dot (yes it is true that the winning number for the Pick-3 in Illinois lottery was 6-6-6 the day Obama was sworn in as President, why has Glenn Beck not made light of this scandal yet?). But further more, and even more importantly, you can’t trust ANYTHING Snopes has to say about ANY matter WHATSOEVER PERIOD END OF STORY because it’s run by Communist Fascists according to the same Birthers who Snopes likes to debunk.

For whatever reason this “Associated Press article” that asserts that Orly’s Obama eligibility court case is being heard by the Supreme Court just won’t die. For smart people like us at TarsTarkas.net and you the reader it means more eye-rolling and sighing, but for the echo-chamber loving Birther movement it means continually getting outraged by the same fake news article every two months and having to be talked down to by another Birther who found out it was fake the last time the article surfaced. For your enjoyment here is the text of this fake AP article (notice the language in it and how a high school graduate could have written something more convincing):

VERY QUIETLY OBAMA’S CITIZENSHIP CASE REACHES THE SUPREME COURT

AP- WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move certain to fuel the debate over Obama’s qualifications for the presidency,the group “Americans for Freedom of Information” has Released copies of President Obama’s college transcripts from Occidental College . Released today, the transcript from the school indicates that Obama, under the name Barry Soetoro, received financial aid as a foreign student from Indonesia as an undergraduate.

The transcript was released by Occidental College in compliance with a court order in a suit brought by the group in the Superior Court of California. The transcript shows that Obama (Soetoro) applied for financial aid and was awarded a fellowship for foreign students from the Fulbright Foundation Scholarship program. To qualify, for the scholarship, a student must claim foreign citizenship.

This document would seem to provide the smoking gun that many of Obama’s detractors have been seeking. Along with the evidence that he was first born in Kenya and there is no record of him ever applying for US citizenship, this is looking pretty grim. The news has created a firestorm at the White House as the release casts increasing doubt about Obama’s legitimacy and qualification to serve as President article titled, “Obama Eligibility Questioned,” leading some to speculate that the story may overshadow economic issues on Obama’s first official visit to the U.K.

In a related matter, under growing pressure from several groups, Justice Antonin Scalia announced that the Supreme Court agreed on Tuesday to hear arguments concerning Obama’s legal eligibility to serve as President in a case brought by Leo Donofrio of New Jersey . This lawsuit claims Obama’s dual citizenship disqualified him from serving as president. Donofrio’s case is just one of 18 suits brought by citizens demanding proof of Obama’s citizenship or qualification to serve as president.

Gary Kreep of the United States Justice Foundation has released the results of their investigation of Obama’s campaign spending. This study estimates that Obama has spent upwards of $950,000 in campaign funds in the past year with eleven law firms in 12 states for legal resources to block disclosure of any of his personal records. Mr. Kreep indicated that the investigation is still ongoing but that the final report will be provided to the U.S. attorney general, Eric Holder.

Mr. Holder has refused to comment on the matter.

Here is the Snopes page that deals with most of the information concerning the Orly Taitz lawsuit. Despite the fact that this fake story was posted on Resistnet TWO MONTHS AGO (and another two months before that) and received generally the same reaction (you know a story is bullshit when Birthers come out of the woodwork to speak against something another Birther posted) you still get these geniuses inquiring about where they should channel their outrage.

Birther elligibility

First post, even the dumb ones are inquiring as to where they can find a link to the story. Not because they want to verify where it’s coming from but because they want to chain email it to everyone they’ve ever met.

AZ is concerned about Snopes

Wow when AZ-concerned talks something down you KNOW it must be bullshit. I also don’t have to point out how ridiculous Suzanne Fort makes herself sound. Oh I can’t trust these Snopes people because they might be Democrats, I’ll have to confer with my fact-checker Andrew Breitbart before I can accept this information as unbiased.

Fake Hawaiian Birth Cert

The only reason I’ve ever gone to Hawaii was to get some fake documents made up so I assume this too. I mean Obama hasn’t come out against this and said he’s NOT forging his birth certificate while on vacation. I got a funny feeling about all this…

The boy who cried bullshit

Ah now the truth starts to come out. Unfortunately The Regulator (Oath Keeper) can’t continue with this trend because we all know all he does every waking minute of every waking day is read up on what Resistnet and HotAir and FOXNation have to say.

Snopes is funded by ACORN!

Thank you Jim! Not only do you point out that this kind of thing is STUPID but you also bring to light the fact that this kind of BULLSHIT isn’t being properly moderated. But wait I thought Resistnet was moderating themselves super extra hard now because of this kind of thing. Also Snopes is run by ACORN, no surprise there. I wonder what Youtube video The Regulator (Oath Keeper) learned that from.

Jim is a smart guy (kinda)

I agree with everything Jim says (except the part at the end about shredding this conversation, we here at TarsTarkas.net believe we should archive such a discussion for the good of all man kind and in the name of internet humor!).

And there you have it. All these responses for something that’s circulated SIX TIMES ALREADY on Resistnet and has been debunked by these same amnesiacs over and over again. But don’t worry, everything else you read on the Internet must be true.

Just because you can't poke them doesn't mean they're not out to get you!

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4

Social networking! Web 2.0! Backwater militias! You think all three would go hand in hand with each other. I mean honestly in a world where Twilight fans can openly battle it out on Facebook over a werewolf or a vampire being the cuter one (Team Jacob all the way!!1) you think it’d be easy for an older generation to pick up this technology and run with it to organize something a little more productive. Enter the American militia movement!

Besides our favorite web socializers on Resistnet.com there exist a bunch of other and equally as crazy Ning.com social networks dedicated to organizing and mobilizing the MILITA MOVEMENT across various states. Members use these sites such as Conservative States of America and The Regulators Anti-Socialism Vigilance Committee to bring members together, divide them into groups by state, get them to meet up and practice survival techniques together, shoot off guns, spout off about Nancy Piglosi, and do other kinds of activities that militias tend to engage in. Besides the fact that the militia Nings have some of the most radical “we need to start a war in the United States and overthrow/kidnap/kill President Obama RIGHT NOW” type talk on them they also, keeping true to the militia stereotype, are full of members who are as PARANOID AS SHIT!

I’d argue that they’re not even rationally paranoid, but that wouldn’t quite make sense to begin with. It remains though that these folks are so paranoid, especially CSA, that their own fevered delusions of government agents infiltrating their “super secure” Ning.com site are contagious enough to send the movements leaders into a mass panic, possibly deteriorating and destroying their own communities in the process. These emails were sent out over the course of a week or so. I guess with Christmas and all being last week these folks had a lot of extra free time to spend on the computer. I offer these militia communiques in the order they were sent and with as little explanation as possible since the story more or less tells itself:

A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

Warning from the highest Command
When we realize a traitor has been in our midst it gives us all a sick feeling in the depths of our souls. Especially when that person has a lot of secret information.
One such person is Col JacktheFAC.
This member has received a court martial for treason.
After a very long investigation it was found beyond a shadow of a doubt that Col jacktheFAC was a traitor.
For your Security do not email this person or give him any information.
If you are discovered to be giving him any information you will be banned for life.

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

If there’s one thing the militia movement loves it’s making people out to be scapegoats and calling them traitors. Their “investigation” must have been pretty rigorous and exposed a lot of shit though because this was sent out the same day:

Dear CSA Member:

Please read carefully and completely:

We will be closing our ning site soon, as we’ve discovered that the ning site was set up by DHS to get all patriots groups in one place for easier monitoring.

We now have a secure site which we are now moving people over to. We will not be able to be monitored on this site as it is highly encrypted, and hidden within several other programs. There is no direct way to get to this site, or join this site, and there are several layers of security to assure this, as our system checks everyone who even attempts to join.

Your background has been checked and you have been cleared to move to the new secure site for the CSA. You will need to sign on using your current user name and password. The first thing you need to do once you’ve signed in, is fill out your profile. Make sure there are no questions with blanks, N/A, Opt Out or nonsense answers as our system will not approve you in until all information is properly completed.

You will be asked for your phone number. This is so we will have it in order to contact you should the internet go down. Do not be concerned that the number will be seen on the internet as everything you put on your profile, all posts and all comments from this point forward are in a highly encrypted format and cannot be seen by anyone outside the CSA, or any other unapproved member; not even other members of the CSA that are not cleared for this data.

Once you’ve finish the profile, hit the submit button and submit it. You will receive an ERROR 404 message or a message saying that your application is pending.  This is suppose to happen.

DO NOT SUBMIT MORE THAN ONE PROFILE. DOING SO WILL CAUSE DUPLICATES AND BOTH DUPLICATES AND THE ORIGINAL PROFILES WILL BE BOOTED FROM THE SITE.

You will not be able to enter the secure site to view, post or message anyone, until the system checks your profile to make sure that it’s completed and right, and that you’re on the probationary approved list. If completed completely and correctly you will receive a second message saying that you may now enter the secure site. The first thing you should do once inside is change your password, as this has probably been compromised by the snoopy Federal monitors on the ning site. Please use a very difficult password of numbers and letters, that do not mean anything to you or to others. It should be so difficult that you may need to write it down to remember it. The system is set up to retain your new password so that it does not need to be reentered over and over.

There are certain groups on ning, that if you belong to them, you will be considered a security risk and not allowed in. Groups associated with the The United American Militia, US Militias, Minute Man sites, or any of The Regulator’s sites, will be denied entry into this forum. If you belong to one of these you must quit these groups to be approved.

Our number one concern is security of our information, communications and the safety of our patriots. As a result, these actions will get you banned from the secured site:

1) Returning to and rejoining a banned ning group.

2) Recruiting people from this site to join a ning site.

3) The re-posting of any data on this site on the ning site.

4) Attacking or belittling another member. If one does this please do not respond to them but send me the name of the person and we will deal with them ourselves and their posts will be removed.

5) Any contacts with a government agency by internet or phone.

In the future you should invite your friends to join us at the our new secured site directly, as the ning site will be closed by the first week of January, 2010, at the latest.

The new site is very similar to the ning site, except it’s secure and encrypted for a second layer of protection. Former subjects that were not permitted on the other site should still be refrained from discussion on the new secure site. Since the secure site is not the final layer of security and we may have undesirables join as a result of your invitations.

Everyone at this level of security will be thoroughly checked for any ties to any opposition sites. Those who have no such connections will be moved to an even higher level of security within our system, the other will not, and inviting them to the highest secured level will do no good since our system will double check against an approved list to determine that the person is authorized. Any attempt to access the higher level of secured site without authorization, will also get you banned.

The link to move to ASAP:
http://froggal.forumotion.net/You-Must-Fill-out-this-Profile-Form-h1.htm

Then a day passed. Nothing. Silence. Things must have resolved themselves! Well, not quite:

A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

First just to make this clear so that you will understand that what i
am about to tell you is the truth and i have nothing to gain or want to
gain by it, I believe in Truth Justice and Freedom for this Republic
and I will die defending it and its citizens.We are THE State of GA
Units.We do not care wether or not we have a General or even a part of
CSA we are and always will be the Resistance for our state. In fact If
you relay this information to General Lee he will make me an outcast
like he made me do to jacktheFAC My frien Anthony. But i do not really
care about that i care about the whole Resistance structure being
undermined by this Man who ever he really is.
I want to keep the whole Resistance in place as it is minus the bad
people.If i find i am baned then i will Go back to Comamanding the GA
Resistance just like I had done before minus the rest of the nations
units.
Now having got all of that out of the way.

All the problems on both ning and the Forum that i created for a safe
place for all Units and members was done by General Edward lee.
He sent us email stating we will have to engage the enemy now not wait
would you say that/? Would any right minded General Mary and major ric
are witnesses to this email he sent to us.
Here is what he did and how he did it. Why i can not tell.

Using admin he used other members accounts to attack other members and spread general mayhem to what purpose I can not tell.
In this process he ended up Framing Col JacktheFAC. Who though might be a little different was a good man.

The General Himself told me he deleted jack off of the new Forum But
when i gained admin access i discovered that was a lie. I deleted
jacktheFAC myself before delving into my forum records. I should have
waited.

After much investigation and after gaining admin access to both CSA on
ning and the Admin at the forum I began to discover a lot of things.
What I Discovered was evidence beyond question that not only is General
Lee Computer literate he is actually Very Smart in the field. The one
who was doing everything was in fact General Edward Lee. It was his IP
address every time. his Admin login. and his IP on the users account at
the time that a lot of damaging posts were made as other members. It
was always Him  both on the forum and on ning.
He ordered that i mass email an informative message stating Col jacktheFAC was a traitor.
But when i traced it all it came back to General LEE.
IP
24.196.2.42
State Alabama
City Birmingham
Host 24-196-2-42.cl.hcp.leds.al.charter.com

If this is to be our General we would rather have Obama.
This is the second time i have mentioned this {We want to choose our own General to Represent our State.
The Sovereign State of Georgia. Not the CSA State of Georgia. Not the Nation of CSA. The Free Republic of America.

If not we wont have a General with or without a General We still remain
the same Resistance we were before CSA Thank you for your time and
understanding
Commander Georgia State Resistance 1st infantry SOS

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Not only are these guys trained in the militia arts but they also have super internet detective skills! Also sent the same day:

A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

Request for the future security of our Mission
A 4 General Panel elected by the members of the national resistance.
Voting should be done by polll with viewible email so it can be counted correctly.
If we are a free republic we should be able to elect representatives for our ststes. We do not wish to be asigned General.
Any one who proposes this should send email to the generals requesting an election.

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Yeah, didn’t make much sense to me either. That message was probably sent by a GOVERNMENT PLANT anyway. You can tell this next one is probably verbatim from CSA head:

R.L. Smith has sent you a message on Patriotic Resistance

http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/

============= TIME FOR TALKING IS OVER!! ==============

== NOW STARTS THE TIME OF PREPARATION FOR ACTION!==

If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace.
Thomas Paine
December 19, 1776

1) OUR PRIMARY GOAL IS TO RESTORE GOD TO HIS RIGHTFUL PLACE IN AMERICA; THE CENTER OF ALL THAT IS DONE.

2) OUR 2ND GOAL IS TO RESTORE THE MORAL VALUES, HONOR AND RESPECT FOR OUR FELLOW MAN THAT WE’VE HELD IN THE PAST. WE WANT TO RESTORE RESPECT FOR AMERICA AND AMERICANS EVERYWHERE. YOU MESS WITH ONE OF US, YOU MESS WITH ALL OF US.

3) OUR 3RD GOAL IS TO PUT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT BACK WHERE IT SHOULD BE ACCORDING TO THE CONSTITUTION. WE SEEK TO REMOVE ALL JUDGES WHO THINK THEY HAVE CONSTITUTIONAL AUTHORITY TO LEGISLATE FROM THE BENCH. WE ALSO SEEK THE RIGHT OF THE PEOPLE TO REMOVE SUPREME COURT JUSTICES AND FEDERAL JUDGES THAT WON’T APPLY CURRENT U.S. LAW TO DECIDE CASES THAT ARE BEFORE THEM, INSTEAD OF USING FOREIGN LAW AND PERSONAL FEELINGS TO DETERMINE THEIR DECISION.

4) OUR 4TH GOAL IS TO PREVENT ALL POLITICIANS FROM EVER BEING ABLE TO DRAG AMERICA DOWN AGAIN, BY PLACING 4 YEAR TERM LIMITS ON ALL OF THEM. WE ALSO WANT TO TAKE THE DECISION OF PRESIDENTIAL IMPEACHMENT OUT OF POLITICIAN’S HANDS AND PUT IT IN THE HANDS OF THE PEOPLE. WE SEEK TO ADD A PROVISION FOR THE PEOPLE TO IMPEACH ANY POLITICIAN THAT DOES NOT VOTE IN A MANNER THAT REFLECTS THE VALUES & POSITION OF HIS or HER CONSTITUENCY’S VOICE.

5) WE ARE NOT A MILITANT MILITIA GROUP; WE ARE A CITIZEN RESISTANCE! WE STRIVE TO PROTECT OUR COMMUNITY, OUR STATE AND OUR COUNTRY FROM THOSE WHO WOULD DESTROY OUR FREEDOMS & OUR AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE!

6) IF WE CANNOT RESTORE STATE SOVEREIGNTY, THEN WE SEEK TO SECEDE FROM THE CONTROL OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND BECOME A SEPARATE AND FREE NATION IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE OUR GOALS.

7) WE ARE NOT A WHITE SUPREMACIST GROUP & ALL RACES ARE WELCOME! WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN, OR WANT TO RESTORE SLAVERY OR ALLOW DISCRIMINATION AGAINST ANYONE.

8) WE ARE PRO ISRAEL AND RESPECT JEWS FOR THEIR BELIEFS.

9) WE DO NOT ADVOCATE THE OVERTHROW OF OUR GOVERNMENT, AS LONG AS IT’S OUR GOVERNMENT ABIDING BY THE TENANTS OF THE U.S. CONSTITUTION
.
10) WE STRIVE TO STAY WITHIN THE LAW. AND WELCOME LAW ENFORCEMENT TO JOIN WITH US IN GUARDING OUR NATION FROM TYRANNY, BURDENSOME LAWS, HIGH TAXATION AND THE ELITIST ATTITUDES OF THOSE IN DC.

11) WE ALSO SEEK TO ABOLISH THE IRS AND REPLACE IT A NATIONAL SALES TAX THAT WILL NEVER INCREASE TO MORE THAN 10%, or, IMPLEMENT A FLAT 10% TAX RATE WHICH ALSO CAN NEVER BE RAISED OVER 10%. THE SAME WILL APPLY TO A COMBINATION OF STATE AND LOCAL SALES TAX; COMBINED THEY SHOULD NOT EXCEED 10%. IF 10% IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOD FOR THE LAST 6,000 years, THEN IT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR GOVERNMENT, FOR THE NEXT 6,000 YEARS.

12) WE DO NOT SEEK A CONFRONTATION WITH THE GOVERNMENT, BUT LIKE OUR FOUNDING FATHERS WE’LL NOT BACK DOWN IF WE ARE THREATENED BY OUR GOVERNMENT. WE WILL NOT FIRE THE FIRST SHOT AGAINST ANY ONE, OR CAUSE THEM TO FIRE THE FIRST SHOT AT US BY OUR ACTIONS. WE ONLY WANT TO LIVE FREE & SUCCEED OR FAIL ON OUR OWN WITHOUT ANY GOVERNMENT INTERFERENCE. WE WANT TO MAINTAIN OUR GOD-GIVEN CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS. THEREFORE, WE WILL ONLY RESPOND IF WE FEEL A CITIZEN’S RIGHTS ARE JEOPARDIZED BY GOVERNMENT, OR IF THE GOVERNMENT (or one of its agencies, including the UN) MAKES UNCONSTITUTIONAL MOVES TO INVALIDATE OUR CONSTITUTION, OR ATTEMPTS TO SURRENDER OUR NATIONAL SOVEREIGNTY TO ANOTHER ENTITY’S CONTROL.

http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/

http://www.resistnet.com/profiles/message/listInbox?xg_source=msg_mes_private

—
To control which emails you receive on Patriotic Resistance, go to:
http://www.resistnet.com/?xgo=1/ixCdNfz5-aZewczHeftFnG5hwGMaYJRLqaUFSxFEZgdcm3SrXesg

So finally we see what these militia types really care about (like it’s a surprise to everyone, right?). But just when you think all is said and done, all of the drama would be out of the way, I get these the next day:

THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)
5th COLUMN PATRIOTS AGAINST BIG GOVERNMENT, SOCIALISM AND THE NWO
A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

all the innocent people framed by general lee:

American me
hired-gun
cj
kiki
col jacktheFAC

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Framed I tell ya!

THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)
SEEKING TO REGAIN THE VALUES & HERITAGE WE’VE LOST
A message to all members of THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA)

I have been told by a trusted friend that messages were sent out to some of you this morning containing a number of lies and distortions. I am not sure who sent out these messages, but the person who did had only one intention in mind, and that was to harm, and plant a seed of distrust to be put into the minds of our members in order to destroy our unity as we stand as guardians of freedom and Constitutional rights for all American citizens.

You know what I’ve stood for since the inception of this group … just compare what you know about me to what was said in those emails. Then ask yourself why would I start a group like this on a Federally monitored site, put myself and my family in jeopardy, just to sabotage the site or cause problems for our members.

We are at war, even if no one is firing a shot. We can expect infiltrators and the enemies of a free America to be among us trying to trap us, trying to undermine our purpose, and trying to keep us from achieving our goals. Do not allow them to suceed.

If you have questions please contact me, General Warrior Priest, or Captain Summer Dawn, or Major Felix McDaniels (who lives near me and knows me personally).

General Lee

Visit THE UNITED CONSERVATIVE STATES OF AMERICA (CSA) at: http://5th-col-trc.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Just in case you were unclear about what they stood for, here’s what they really stand for! Yeah (and don’t believe anyone else)! But let’s put all this craziness behind us and gloss over it with a nice cheery Happy Holidays message:

THE WELL REGULATED AMERICAN MILITIAS!!
We dedicate our hearts,minds and bodies to protecting our great Republic!
A message to all members of THE WELL REGULATED AMERICAN MILITIAS!!

Hello everyone!! Wanted To wish you all a very merry christmas and a very happy New Year!! We have a lot of work to do this coming year!! The battle for the soul of our lives, liberty and freedom are at stake more than ever!! We wont let the enemies of our country have our joy!!We will have our joy and happiness despite their attempts to steal it!! We are Americans and we are strong like that and thats why we will win this battle!! We will get organized and defeat all of our foe!! Lets make this the most Merriest christmas and New year ever!! AMERICA FIRST FREEDOM FOREVER!! MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!! GOD BLESS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU!!

Minuteman and our management!!

Visit THE WELL REGULATED AMERICAN MILITIAS!! at: http://militias.ning.com/?xg_source=msg_mes_network

Well, there you have it. http://militias.ning.com and http://5th-col-trc.ning.com are still up and operating, their members aren’t moving to the new site as indicated in the messages, and I guess for what it’s worth their “plan” is still being carried out. That is, if the fear doesn’t consume them first. Spelling, formatting, and grammer of the messages has been altered in no way shape or form. To post these messages I departed from the typical hard evidence screenshots we usually provide but I hope that doesn’t diminish the impact of what’s being said.

Wingnut Web – Birther's self-fufilling prophecy

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1

Ever had a boss you didn’t exactly like? Maybe he’s a little arrogant or asks you to work on Saturdays sometimes, but the guy still pays you for your work at the end of the day (this is what’s called a contract). Despite your differences, however, you learn to coexist in the same work environment and will end up working together to further the business at your office. It’s called “getting along” and it ensures, for the most part, that you’ll remain employed by the company and will continue to prosper with your salary and won’t get fired for refusing to do your work or something silly like that.

Now imagine you’re a crazed rabid fringe member and you doubt the eligibility of your boss to be your boss because you’re so sure that he’s not actually a United States citizen but instead some refugee Kenyan from Africa. Your obviously Kenyan boss (he’s black, right?) has made life at the office difficult for you for many reasons, one of which is he’s backed the passing of a few rules at the office which don’t directly affect you, but you’re still very upset with them for one crazy reason or another. As an employee who feels let down by the company, jaded by the status and personality of your boss (let’s call him Barack), you take some rational steps to remedy the situation. The first obvious step, as any birther fringe person will tell you, is to just stop showing up for work!

Wait, what?

Will not comply

So, you’re a wacko fringer whose deathly afraid of imaginary conspiracies that entail rounding up Americans into internment camps, having their guns taken away, poisoning them with flu vaccines, and doing other unspeakable horrors all in the name of our first non-white president. At the least, you’re concerned about government agents coming out to question you and maybe even the possibility of getting arrested for your actions, so why in God’s name would you choose to put yourself in a position where both these things are VERY REAL POSSIBILITIES?

Obviously these Wingnut fringe idiots lost all notion of what a “law” is when President Obama was sworn into office. Just as if you stop showing up to work because you don’t like your boss, if you decide to stop following basic laws there will be severe repercussions. You can’t object to getting arrested because you believe the President of the United States is a devil usurper of the Oval Office, the police hear enough of that kind of dumbass ranting and raving when they arrest mentally unstable people. And of course, when the police come to arrest you it was most certainly President Obama who personally saw to it and dispatched the police officers or FBI to your door. It didn’t have anything to do with you acting like a damn idiot.

Is this really a self-fulfilling prophecy in the lunatic birther fringe community? They bitch and moan about how the government could foreseeably enact all of these un-Constitutional policies, policies that would never pass the House let alone the Senate, and then when they turn around and realize that the government still isn’t persecuting them they get riled up and announce they’re just going to stop following established laws. The last time I checked it is STILL against the law to break the law, and regardless of your position, you’re STILL going to be treated like a criminal if you break the law.

It’s just some of the most common sense I can muster, how the laws and getting arrested works and all, but as it turns out you still can’t explain common sense to some gun-humping, president-hating,  extra-chromosome having morons.

Wingnut Web – Novelty American Flag edition

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I believe it was on Resistnet that I first spotted this:

The headline of the post read: NOT A PHOTOSHOP OBAMA ON THE AMERICAN FLAG. What a travesty, right? Our sacred American flag, a banner that represents the United States of America and has been forever tarnished by that Obama Marxist in the White House screwin up our country. Not that the American flag has EVER been appropriated for something other than a high-flying symbol of our nation (forget all the coffee mugs, denim jackets, lapel pins, tee-shirts, bumper stickers, campaign signs, PAC websites, and Presidents Day sale TV commercials). No, our country is too upstanding to let a great symbol like the American Flag be sold as a common commodity.

But I think the best part of this whole flag flap are the conservative news articles about this atrocity and the complete lack of context and information they provide with this so called story. The regurgitated headline repeated through out the Right Wing’s echo chamber of “news” is “Will Media Help Sell the New Obama American Flag?”. First of fucking all, the only place I’ve seen this story has been in the CONSERVATIVE MEDIA OUTLETS.

Put aside the fact that the article failed to mention that the picture of the flag in question is a single custom job that flys proudly (I assume) on the property of a man in Kokomo, IN (I had to browse through six different right wing blogs that linked through each other to find the original story on FreeRepublic). A few of the blogs I came across accused the property owner of being a *gasps* union member and part of the UAW, but no, he is not selling these flags. A few comments from the Freep post turned up a sole eBay member who had a listing up for one such flag, a listing that has since been taken down. But despite the fact that this flag is not a product of the Liberal media, the only people who are talking about it and who fear the media promoting the sale of this flag IS THE CONSERVATIVE MEDIA. It’s enough bile-churning irony to make you want to punch Andrew Breitbart in the face.

But onto another point, this is not the first nor the last time someone is going to take the image of our American flag and put a thing on it. How about you get outraged every time someone comes up with a new design for the stars and bars? How about you get outraged every time you see our sacred American flag get cheapened by being printed on another sweatshirt or shot glass or commemorative spoon? Oh, but no one else has ever hijacked the flag the way Obama supposedly has (this flag by the way Obama was working on personally in his basement, or that’s what the Right would want you to believe). No, no one has ever changed any  part of the American flag before in order to make a quick buck:

Somali pirates are the nefarious people responsible for this version. Or some guy on eBay.

And of course the hippies want their piece of the pie too.

Damn, maybe the hippies have a monopoly on this stuff.

Motorcycle and Eagle America

This one is pretty badass actually. I’ll take 2.

So, dumb-ass Right Wing, atleast be consistent if you’re going to get all whiny when some guy on eBay sells an American Flag novelty. It’s enough to make me want to GET AMERICAN ALL OVER EVERYBODYS ASSES

Wingnut Web – What happened to being Good Christians?

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Us Americans can never be satisfied.

So September 11th happened in 2001 and after an entire day of fear and uncertainty (I went through it, I should know! It was scary!) our country did what it used to do best. Despite any and all of our differences and disregarding any areas of thought where we all might disagree, Americans came together in a unified show of support and love for one another after that attack, support and love for their fellow neighbour, for their friends and family, and finally for the greatest country on the face of this Earth, The United States of America (cue wailing guitars shooting out stars and stripes and then exploding into a flock of Bald Eagles).

Back on September 12th, 2009 Glenn Beck’s 9/12 Project march was held in Washington, D.C with, among other expressed goals, to return the country back to the unstable emotional grounds we all experience after being suddenly attacked by terrorists. The march sure encapsulated the “unstable emotional grounds” part of the metaphor, one could also say like our country’s response to 9/11 the 9/12 march lacked any kind of clearly defined purpose or identifiable strategic outcome, but I also understood this idea of harkening back to the dark days after September 11th to mean that as a people who might not otherwise unite around every issue every day, us Americans can simply come together and we should come together around the fact that we are all citizens of the same country, a large group who can do more good if we work together than if we stay seperate and bicker amongst ourselves.

“United we stand” was the motto of the day, wasn’t it? Maybe times were different back then because we had our 43rd old white male Christian president sitting in the Oval Office of the White House, but the same God-loving Americans who just a few short years ago wanted the whole of the country to come together and celebrate the greatness of the United States and it’s overwhelming ability to confront crises head-on and create working solutions to deal with our toughest problems now would rather see the country cleaved into two very separate unions and have our leaders, especially the President, maimed, deported, killed, raped, impeached, or otherwise have his good name sullied.

I don’t like to play cards necessarily (No Limit Hold’em is fun though), but there is a glaring similarity through-out the different factions of the far-Right Anti-Obama movement, and not only does the theme seem to follow along the lines of religion but more specifically it falls along the lines of a particular sects of Christians. Pointing the finger isn’t the point of this post, though it’s obvious enough to see who we’re talking about from all the coverage they’ve been garnering on TV anyway (hint: it rhymes with Smevengelical), but as a non-Christian who has seen some of the amazing and wonderful things that religion can do to help bring groups of total strangers together in love and unity I would really like to know why and how many of these Born-Again believers can continue to call themselves loving Christians without fear of breaking the Commandment of bearing false witness and incuring the wrath of God upon their hides.

As far as I know, Christianity is a religion based on a couple of primary documents that contain all the tenants that good Christians have to follow in order to be accepted into the Kingdom of Heaven. In short, these tenants more or less direct followers to first accept God/Jesus/Holy Spirit/whoever into their lives, as a guiding force in their decision making and outlook on the world, and then thereafter they are instructed to live good friendly lives where they don’t steal from one another, murder one another, lie to one another, commit adultery with one another, and just generally have a basic human respect for every one of God’s creations whether it be someone who holds different ideals, a stranger from a foreign land, or even an adorable little puppy dog they find on the side of the road. Jesus Christ, according to the stories, was a pretty nice guy at the end of the day, but I doubt he’d be all about the ways in which many of his followers who bear his name are promoting their religion these days.

Pastor Steve Anderson

First off we have Pastor Steven Anderson, a Baptist, from Arizona who prays daily for our first African-American president, who was rightly elected by the American people, to be struck down and killed by the hand of God in his sermons to his congregation:

Now, look, if somebody wants me, it somebody twisted my arm and tells me to pray for Barack Obama, this is what I’m going to pray, because this is the only prayer that applies to him: ‘Break his teeth, O God, in his mouth. You know, as a snail which melteth, let him pass away. Like the untimely birth of a woman, that he thinks — he calls it a woman’s right to choose, you know, he thinks it’s so wonderful. He ought to be aborted. It ought to be, ‘Abort Obama.’

…

Nope. I’m not gonna pray for his good. I’m going to pray that he dies and goes to hell. When I go to bed tonight, that’s what I’m going to pray. And you say, ‘Are you just saying that?’ No. When I go to bed tonight, Steven L. Anderson is going to pray for Barack Obama to die and go to hell.

The good pastor has gotten a lot of attention over his comments the past few months, comments which not only incite congregates to want to murder President Obama but comments which also come from a man of God, who if he really is a man of God would clearly know more about the tenants of his own religion. Even if he is defiant in his beliefs and prays to God for the death of Obama wouldn’t it occur to him that God doesn’t condone murder in the first place? He dictated those 10 Commandments word for word to Moses right? Is this like the Constitution where we have the original words written by the primary framers but insist that God or the Founding Fathers actually meant B when they wrote A? Clearly there is something very wrong with a preacher, not only preaching for the death of someone, but preaching for the death of the highest ranking person in the country! I don’t remember ever hearing about Christians preaching for the death of any of the previous 43 presidents.

Then you have the congregates who echo the these Wingnut preachers’ sentiments. No one ever said it was wrong to disagree with the President or that you’re a bad person if you don’t support Obama, that right there is critical thinking and critical thinking is an important component to any right-thinking person. Then again, those who believe in a strict factual interpretation of The Bible and who are blindly led by those of their faith were never much for critical thinking in the first place. This is why when a fellow Christian or a church pastor invokes rhetoric like “Obama is a Socialism” or  “Obama wants to force you to get abortions” or “Obama is the Anti-Christ” (a charge so widely believed that Snopes.com had to deticate an article to it) these people take those claims seriously and verbatim, repeating them and repeating them until they believe there’s just no way these claims can be false. Stubborn non-wavering belief is a funny thing like that.

Granted, this is a very small portion of the country I believe. We are a country of 304 million, and considering in their HIGHEST estimate the 9/12 protest was almost 2 million strong (more like 29 times less than that number but let’s keep the judgement fair for now) you still can’t really call that a majority in the United States, and let’s face it, everybody who is anybody in the fringe community attended that dang 9/12 protest. But a believer is a believer, and besides being told the message from up on high every Sunday, there is little to nothing rational human beings can do to change these people’s minds. I’ll even put it in terms they like to fashion their arguments with: A group called THE NAZIS also expressed  non-waivering faith to their leaders that defied all logic or bounds too, but they followed through anyway because that’s what they had been instructed to do by the people around them. No, I am not seriously saying that Christians are like the Nazis, I’m merely just talking about the ones who make up this small little fringe community that likes to post on messageboards alot (Hi guys!).

In my mind I really want to believe that it’s one thing to talk about the Westborough Babtist Church in-terms of level of deeply-seeded hatred of fellow human beings and size and talking about the Patriot Teabagging movement, but unfortunately there are a lot of similarities that follow through (namely that there are other generic groups of people living among them that they blame everything on, want to exterminate, and will never come to accept in society ever and their small sizes!). Finally, I don’t want to have to believe that I need to draw this point out any more that I already have in the above. Faith preaches kindness but preachers dictate something entirely different, out of their own interests, and isn’t that like bearing false witness in the end?