1973 Directed by Cavit Yürüklü
Written by Volkan Kayhan
Turkey produced some of the weirdest super hero films that ever existed, in their unique brand of mish-mash, zero budgets, and macho manliness. Of those super hero films, 3 Supermen and a Mad Girl is among the cream of the crop for crazy awesomeness. It’s a sort of riff on the Italian 3 Supermen movies, but going much further into the realm of costumed heroes, masked villains, secret plots, catsuited vamps, cardboard robots, and fistfight mania. 3 Supermen and a Mad Girl feels like a live-action comic book, or even a cartoon.
The three stars of 3SAAMG wear orange and black Superman suits complete with goofy masks. Following the premise of the Italian 3 Supermen films (one of which, 3 Supermen At The Olympic Games, would eventually incorporate footage from this film), the suit renders the wearers invulnerable and grants them super powers. The costume capers don’t end there, the Supermen fight a criminal organization staffed with goons wearing essentially green KKK outfits with purple domino masks, supported by a man named Sheytan, who wears a rubber devil mask, red cloak, and black gloves. There is a gaggle of babe dressed in red bikinis/miniskirts and masks, and the whole outfit is lead by a woman wearing a red Vampira uniform with a blonde wig and mask. Writer Volkan Kayhan deserves a million Oscars for creating something this wacky.
Worst Naked Gun opening credits ever!
This being a Turkish film, you can be assured the print looks like it was ran over by a bus filled with puking gophers, violated by amorous porcupines, and then nuked from orbit. Sections of the film appear to be missing, giving it a running time just over an hour. The 3 Supermen At The Olympic Games film that uses footage from 3SAAMG has longer snippets of some of the scenes, and in much better condition, but what exactly is missing besides a few shots of people walking in hallways I don’t know at this time as I haven’t watched the Olympic Games film. As usual, there are no subtitles on our copy. But when has that ever stopped us? At TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles!!!
Playboy Superman (Levent Çakır) – This Süper Adam is a rich playboy spy who men want to be and women want to be with. He’s so suave, he’s already had sex with you. He even woos Brown-Haired Girl (Yeşim Yükselen), who becomes at the center of the grand conspiracy. Actor Levent Çakır is a familiar site to genre fans, having appeared in Bedmen and the Zagor pictures.
Big Superman (Altan Bozkurt) – It’s the big Süper Adam who crushes the puny humans beneath his feet. Okay, maybe he’s not that big, but he’s still huge and beats up bad guys.
Small Superman (Hüseyin Sayar) – Süper Adam – small – besides being smaller than the others, he is also more childish, playing with puppets and whatnot. Hüseyin Sayar was Robin in Bedmen, thus we got a Superman film where Batman and Robin both star as Supermen. Suck on that, DC!
Mad Girl (Emel Özden) – Mad Girl is the Vampira-ish lady who is totally evil and filled with evilness. Her real identity is a mystery, but it definitely isn’t Brown-Haired Girl’s stepmom Çılgın Kız. GUess who else was in Bedmen?
Sheytan (Nubar Terziyan) – the guy behind it all Who is Sheytan? is totally not Brown-Haired Girl’s dad Alpanu. He’s so evil, he even kills his henchmen such as the mad scientist Dr. Zalkon.
The Robot (???) – A robot which is a guy in a cardboard box with silver paint, holding a gun also made out of boxes with silver paint. He’s awesome.
Greenies (various) – The villains’ goons are dressed in green with purple domino masks and KKK hoods. They show up to fight the 3 Supermen at various times, and are about as effective as blind stormtroopers with both hands tied before their backs.
Turkish Batman! Turkish Pop Cinema is one of the treasures of the modern world. There are so many gems just waiting to be discovered, and so many lost pearls that you never know what you will run into. Turkish Star Wars? Turkish Star Trek? Turkish Ninjas? Turkish Wizard of Oz? Turkish Super Heroes? These are only some examples of the radical output of bizarre and amazing films from the 1960s to the early 1980s that came out of Turkey. At times, you hear rumor of films, but are unable to establish their existence. This Turkish Batman film, Bedmen Yarasa Adam was known to still survive, but actually getting a copy was a different matter. Batman also appeared in the Turkish film Fantoma Istanbul’da Bulusalim, mentioned in Pete Tombs’s Mondo Macabro but seemingly existing nowhere on the planet. There is also a Turkish Batgirl film called Ucan Kiz, of which I have only seen the poster for. Maybe one day they will show up. This deterioration of Turkish film history is a terrible tragedy.
Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods!
Did you know that Batman drives around Turkey as a hired detective, investigating the murder of girls, and nailing every chick in the Ottoman Empire? Because that’s the real Batman. Turkish films are big on masculinity, the men are all manly men, there are big manly mustaches, the women are all supermodel hot and melt like butter on an oven when they get a load of these manly Turkish studs.
Bedmen (Levent Çakir) – Bedmen strikes fear into the hearts of evil-doers in Turkey. He also strikes the fires of passion in the loins of all women who see them, because Bedmen gets more play than a Tonka truck! Women lines up to lie down for the classy caped crusader, that’s when he isn’t beating the snot out of criminals, or standing around while they commit suicide. The best Batman ever. Actor Levent Çakir played in dozens of Turkish genre films. Check out his resume here.
Robin (Hüseyin Sayar) – AKA Bedrobin, but we will just call him Robin. The Boy Wonder here likes to flip around. His entire fighting technique is to flip and flip and flip. Imagine the female gymnastics team after downing some cocaine-spiked lattes. Robin can’t get laid, because he’s Robin. I am only 75% sure that this is Hüseyin Sayar.
Bruce Wayne (Levent Çakir) – Bruce Wayne here might really be named Gordon, but we’ll still call him Bruce Wayne because it is confusing otherwise. He’s a sexy man who the ladies can’t resist, because, he’s freaking Turkish Batman! Everyone knows it, so it is less of a secret identity and more of an alternate identity. By the time you have finished reading this bio, Turkish Bruce Wayne has seduced three women.
Dick Grayson (Hüseyin Sayar) – Very excited to see naked women. Very excited. Very very excited. Is not see doing much without Bruce Wayne, because I imagine he’s busy with something involving a special sock, lotion, and well-worn magazines.
Bald Guy (Altan Günbay) – An official guy of some importance. Killed early on, only to return as the evil villain. Spoilers.
Main Girl (Emel Özden) – The only girl not gunned down or naked, so of course she is the love interest. Despite the fact Bedmen has several love interests prior and during his courtship of her. Better head to the free clinic after a night of passion with Bedmen!
Cat (???) – A cat. All evil villains need a cat, and this one does. The cat spends all of his time looking off camera at his owner, who the cat is itching to jump over too. This cat knows who feeds him his tuna, and isn’t about to sit in some actor’s lap. All hail the cat!