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TarsTarkas.NET is 9 Years Old!

Pink Cake

Yes this cake has pink icing. Because that rules.


Hey-hey! During our brief break where I got writer’s blocked the fuck up, TarsTarkas.NET crossed the magic milestone into 9 years online! So better late than never, especially when I have an excuse to buy a cake. A cake that was ON SALE! With PINK ICING! And mistakenly labeled marble cake when it was just vanilla (actually, BOO! to that point!)

Nine years is a long time, but we’ve only just begun. Plans are afoot to add some new features, and to bring back a few older ones that have fallen by the wayside. But I don’t want to jinx anything by giving away too much. So until then, it’s time to eat some cake!!!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - June 24, 2013 at 12:10 pm

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Is Rise of the Dinosaurs SyFy's last Saturday Creature Flick for a long time?

Haters gonna hate Decepticons

Because SyFy’s moving their movies to Thursday premieres for the summer! If you haven’t noticed, SyFy has gone loco and suddenly started to produce a bunch of actual science fiction shows and is attempting to become an actual network that follows its name and not just a place for edited movie reruns and wrestling. I, for one, support this endeavor, and whole-heartedly approve of SyFy’s attempt to bring a bunch of science fiction dramas to television. But, as fallout from this, one of the nights SyFy is setting up programming blocks will be Saturday. Thus, the movie premieres are getting moved to Thursdays! Long time watchers of SyFy (back when it was SciFi Channel!) might remember that Thursday was once the day these new movies premiered (and even became a day they would randomly premiere one anyway after the move to Saturday!) so this isn’t so out of line. It’s just been a good long while.

But before that happens, there will be a few more films popping up. First up is Stonados on April 27. It features tornadoes with rocks in them. May 11th features the premiere of Rise of the Dinosaurs, and there are no more movie premieres scheduled for the rest of May. The real mystery is Rise of the Dinosaurs. Because I can’t find a thing about it. Which means it’s probably something else renamed. But what? Asylum’s Age of the Dinosaurs? That doesn’t seem finished enough to be it. Jurassic Attack? It’s out in Europe, so maybe. A bootleg Ice Age sequel? Or it could be something else entirely. No one who knows is saying nothing! Those jerks!

EDIT: Just got confirmation from the TuningIntoSciFiTV guys that Rise of the Dinosaurs IS Jurassic Attack! Also Stonados has been delayed due to the events in Boston (it is set in Boston)

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 16, 2013 at 8:54 pm

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Gatchaman teaser and images

Gatchaman

Gatchaman (ガッチャマン) is a live-action film based on the long-running anime series (the US version were known as Battle of the Planets, G-Force, and Eagle Riders) that will be released August 24, 2013. A teaser trailer was just dropped, along with an image containing character bio information for the main five team members. Basically, Gatchaman is like a Power Rangers Captain Planet.

Set in the near future in Tokyo, Japan. The evil terrorist organization Galactor has declared war on the world. The group possesses more advanced technology than governments and occupies over half of the planet. Dr. Kozaburo Nambu of the International Science Organization gathers together 5 superhero ninja agents, known collectively as Gatchaman, to stop Galactor.

Starring:
Tori Matsuzaka as Eagle Ken
Go Ayano as Condor Joe
Ayame Gouriki as Swan Jun
Tatsuomi Hamada as Swallow Jinpei
Ryohei Suzuki as Owl Ryu


Gatchaman

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 10, 2013 at 11:07 pm

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Stonados storm SyFy, leave title pun wreckage in their wake…

If you can’t wait for Sharknado, don’t fret, there is another tornado combo-pun title film popping up on SyFy April 27th with Stonados! Stonados is a disaster flick about a giant tornado that throws stones at everything in its path. Finally the true story of the tornadoes that haven’t sinned and thus can begin the stone-throwing armageddon Jesus talked about in the Bible! Experienced disaster film helmer Jason Bourque directs (Seattle Superstorm, Wildfire 7: The Inferno, The Two Coreys) and SyFy movie writer superstar Rafael Jordan wrote the script. You know his work: Dragon Wasps, Frost Giant, Star Runners, Hammer of the Gods, and the upcoming masterpieces Poseidon Rex, Jurassic Attack, and the new classic I just heard about, Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators!

TimesColonist has some of the filming details:

It stars Paul Johansson (One Tree Hill) as Joe, a widowed ex-storm chaser; Sebastian Spence (First Wave) as his former partner; Thea Gill (Queer as Folk) as a tough bureaucrat; and William B. Davis (The X-Files), as a lighthouse keeper.

Also featured are rising local stars Jessica McLeod (The Christmas Consultant) as Megan, Joe’s rebellious teenage daughter; Dylan Schmid (Once Upon a Time) as Jackson, her younger brother; and Grace Vukovic (Mulligans) as their friend Julie.

Coultish Management has some set photos from the filming:

Everyone had a great time on set and many got to experience movie magic with huge wind machines simulating the storm and big chunks of Styrofoam “stones” flying around set! Here are a few snapshots of some of our members on set!

Stonados sign

How powerful can the Stonado be if it can’t shut down Dave’s Java Hut?

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - March 7, 2013 at 1:27 pm

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New voices on TarsTarkas.NET

Starting Saturday, posts from people who aren’t me are going to start appearing on TarsTarkas.NET. We’ve brought on some additional writers to help keep the site updates more regular, allowing me to still be productive while I also focus on more time-consuming projects like the podcasts and videos. It also means there will be actual good writing here and not just me blathering on about whatever dog I saw while out walking. Soooo many wiener dogs… Join me in welcoming Ian Maddison and Sheldrake to TarsTarkas.NET! Their posts will appear on the main site and will make TarsTarkas.NET a better place. Having previewed their work, I am excited, and you will be too.

If you or someone you know is interesting in writing for TarsTarkas.NET, details are in this post.

Cookie Monster For President

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 12, 2012 at 10:38 pm

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Hungry Hungry Hippos….will be a REAL FILM????!!

Hungry Hungry Hippos Brian Cook

What in the flying monkey crap is happening to Earth, planet of humans, that makes jokes reality? Are we being zapped with Ironic Reality Rays from the Evil Skeletor and his gang of baddies? Because suddenly, everyone’s favorite joke board game movie will actually be a real movie! Hasbro has signed deals to bring more of their properties to the big screen. In addition to reviving the long-in-production Monopoly flick and optioning Action Man for some reason, Hungry Hungry Hippos is the third property in the deal with Emmett/Furla Films giving Hasbro the dump trucks full of cash it needs to get these films in production through their Universal subsidiary. Don’t worry, each film will cost less than $100 million, that way they will only lose lots of money instead of a ton of money.

Monopoly will be the first of the three films, probably because a lot of the ground work has already been done over the years. Ridley Scott is still listed as a producer, but I do not know if they will continue with the “guy wakes up in a Monopoly world” plot that was rumored years ago. All the films are being marketed as family films.

Emmett/Furla is also bankrolling The Tomb, Two Guns, and Broken City, so they’re posed to become very very rich. Which they will need when no one watches these Hasbro films. I mean, I can’t wait for Hungry Hungry Hippos!

I actually seriously can’t wait.

Via LATimes
Image created by Brian Cook

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 4, 2012 at 11:22 am

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