So this entry will require a bit of background, because Japan is weird. As you are probably aware of as you are an avid reader of TarsTarkas.NET and similar site that regularly go over the massive volume of cinema to be released from Japan. The vast majority of these films are low-budget direct to video affairs produced for a very limited audience. Thus, the videos usually cost close to $50 when first dropped, though they’ll soon end up as bargain basement packages as the parade of young actresses featured in the films rotates onwards. Many of the films are targeted at those who love low-budget action/crime/blood/gore films, and some of the select audiences are those who subscribe to specific fetishes. These range from harmless affairs like costumed chicks or fighting chicks, to more screwed up stuff that requires liberal use of the censor mosaic. As we like to pretend that we have a PG-13 rating here on TarsTarkas.NET, Sukeban Fighter Misaki falls strictly into the Fighting Schoolgirl genre. These affairs are basically involving tough schoolgirl fighters, secret agency people, evil masterminds, at least one evil schoolgirl, and a bunch of dudes in masks who will harass and capture the schoolgirl fighters.
Sukeban Fighter Misaki looks like it is one of a set of four films that were all made at the same time. Without having seen the other three, I am not sure what order they are intended to be watched in. The other three films are Sukeban Fighter Ayaka, Sukeban Fighter 2nd Intrigue, and Sukeban Fighter 2nd Struggle. I think it is produced by Zen Pictures, which is a production company that specializes in costume fighting women films. Their company website has literally hundreds of Power Rangers-ish films. They also have a sister company that does lots of horror stuff called Babel (the films are oddly called “New challenge movies”) You can also get a job doing voiceover work in the films for English dubs.
Misaki (Megumi Yamanaka) – Megumi Yamanaka was a gravure model that seemed to be in a lot of stuff circa 2006. Looks like she’s also in 2004’s New Zero Woman.
Ayaka (Kazuma Kawabata) – The student council president who works with some teachers to try to control the gang problem. The solution is to get Misaki to beat up all the gang. There is no info about Kazuma Kawabata anywhere and she seems to dropped off the face of the internet after these films.
Evil Girl (Eriko Matsumura) – Evil Girl is evil, hence her name. Also I didn’t catch her name, hence her name. She works for the evil boss and is evil. That’s all you need to know. Eriko Matsumura also dropped off the face of the internet after these films. I imagine she and Kazuma Kawabata are living in a shack somewhere in the desert, lifelong lovers, raising camels. Because…why not?
Japan’s output of film is remarkable. They have taken to direct to video like it is crack cocaine, allowing for hundreds of cheaply produced films to flood the market, many of which are adult in nature. Their softcore industry is a monster of its own, complete with dozens of subgenres and long-running film series such as the Ninja Vixens movies (ten at last count) and erotic versions of many mainstream films. I hesitate to call Sukepan deka: Bâjin nêmu = Moromie Saki, aka Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop an erotic parody, because the films seemed to have forgotten the parody part and is instead just a slightly sexed up version of the big budget film done for 1/100th the price. It is hard to believe I spent so long looking for this film, thinking it would be a good companion piece to the Yo-Yo Girl Cop review. Instead, it is disappointing to say the least. There are some moments of charm, but all in all the film is slow and boring, slightly disturbing, and will never be watched again.
Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop (Sukepan deka: Bâjin nêmu = Moromie Saki) is not the only erotic version of Yo-Yo Girl Cop (Sukeban Deka: kôdo nêmu = Asamiya Saki) to come out in that film’s wake, the hardcore porn Sukepan deka: kôdo nêmu = Maramiya Saki was another example. Where as Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop merely stars an AV actress and has simulated sex, Sukepan deka: kôdo nêmu = Maramiya Saki is filled with hardcore sex. In addition, Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop is not even the first softcore knock-off of the Sukeban Deka franchise, Mototsugu Watanabe’s Sexy Battle Girls (Nerawareta gakuen: seifuku o osou) – aka Sukepan deka: kawaii meiki preceded this film by many years. Having not seen that film, which starred Kyôko Hashimoto, I can’t accurately compare the two. More info on the two other Sukeban Deka erotic versions mentioned in this paragraph are at the end of the review, along with poster art.
So now we can jump right into Yo-Yo Sexy Girl Cop (Sukepan deka: Bâjin nêmu = Moromie Saki), written and directed by Daigo Udagawa. The film stars Mihiro Taniguchi as Saki Moromie, and follows much of the basic storyline from its inspiration, though it ditches the boring website cult storyline and just runs with a prostitution ring, government corruption, and the schoolgirl forced to investigate by a secret agency in order to save her jailed mother. The film copies the poster art, the uniform style, and some smaller details, but is limited by the small budget as to what they could do on film.
Let’s meet the cast!
Saki Moromie (Mihiro Taniguchi) – Saki Moromie is your normal teenage Japanese girl whose mom is a crack fiend. To free her, Saki must work for the secret government agency that arms girls with yo-yos and sends them after criminal syndicates. Just like that other movie that came out recently. The yo-yo is kept in a special holster set into the crotch of crystal panties. Just imagine all the goofy sexual innuendo possibilities, especially with a pervy country like Japan making this film. Mihiro Taniguchi started out as a nude model and eventually became an AV star. She has recently starred in a few more mainstream movies, including the film you are now reading about.
Asuka (Shô Nishino) – Saki gets a friend, the popular and hot Asuka, who shows her the ropes and is the first person ever to be kind to Saki (after beating her up.) So of course she is soon to die. Shô Nishino is also an AV star
Reiko (Rio Nakamura) – Teacher and evil slore who dreams of running the school’s prostitution program herself. Somehow, this involves killing some of the most popular prostitutes. I don’t get it. Whatever. Jealous of Saki’s good looks. Rio Nakamura is another AV star. So many of these Japanese actresses in the softcore films turn out to be AV stars. It is amazing.
Headmaster (???) – The Headmaster runs the school and the giant prostitute ring that it encloses, but he is an idiot and keeps way to many records, plus squeals like a pig in the slightest whiff of him getting caught. He has probably confessed his crimes to a toll booth collector after missing some change. I do not know who played him.
Politician (Seiji Nakamitsu) – All politicians are slime buckets, but this one is nothing but bucketless slime. All horrible goo, no containment. His public face is one of caring, but his private face (hidden behind a mask) is killing schoolgirls after he sexes them up. Japanese politicians are more efficient on their perversions, throwing several in the basket at the same time. A biography of frequent Pinku star Seiji Nakamitsu can be found here.
Saki’s partner (???) – Saki has a partner in her special police squad, but all he does is stand around looking clueless and depressed, like he wants to talk to saki but is too afraid of girls to say anything. He is nothing like his counterpart in the original movie. I do not know who played him.
Nerdy Guy (???) – He may be named something like Sapei, he is the first to befriend Saki in her new school after she defends him from those gross girls and their scary vaginas. But his affection is pathetic and interfering with her bad girl persona, so she treats him like dirt. He keeps coming back for more. I do not know who played him.
Aya Matsuura as Saki Asamiya
Rika Ishikawa as Reika Akiyama
Shunsuke Kubozuka as Jirou Kimura
Yui Okada as Taie Konno
Erika Miyoshi as Kotomi Kanda
Yuki Saito as Saki’s Mother
Riki Takeuchi as Kazutoshi Kira Directed by Kenta Fukasaku
The power of my yo-yos cannot be denied. From their first appearance around 500 BC, the designs have improved and become more deadly. Now, they are the most powerful weapon in the world today, and may treaties limit their use on the battlefield. Wait, all that is a pack of lies, unless you live in the universe that Yo-Yo Girl Cop takes place in! Based on a manga named Sukeban Deka by Shinji Wada that became an 1980’s Japanese TV series, it’s now been updated for the 2006 audience. In fact, the movie is a continuation of the old TV series, as the previous Yo-Yo Girl Cop is the mother of the current titular character. There also has been three previous live action movies, some of which are on Amazon so hopefully I’ll see them at the rental places. Being that this is Japanese fantasy, this film is packed with Pop Idol girls, many of which beat the crap out of each other. This has the only yo-yo chick fight I have seen in a movie to date, so it stands out in that respect. The movie is a turn your brain off type movie, but also deals with the issue of bullying, which has become a controversial topic in Japan recently, as it has lead to a few suicides. Yo-yos are not a prevalent.
Pop Idol Aya Matsuura is Saki Asamiya, the Yo-Yo Girl Cop. Saki Asamiya is the code name for the special agent yo-yo girls, who are not police but a different unofficial agency. Aya Matsuura (nickname Ayaya) has many albums and even hosts a weekly radio show. Following Japanese famous girl tradition she has a bunch of photo books as well. Her personality style of bubbly and happy is a stark contrast to Saki Asamiya, who is a tough street girl. She pulls it off well, I am curious to see in her a happier role now. The evil yo-yo girl Reika Akiyama is played by Rika Ishikawa, another J-Pop star. She’s a former member of Morning Musume (along with 90% of the women in Japan) and currently in the female trio v-u-den when not hosting the TV show Hello! Morning, which is one of the shows of the Hello! Project, the megaconsortium behind Morning Mesume and 9000 other girl acts in Japan. She’s joined by fellow v-u-den member Yui Okada, who plays the bullied girl Taie Kono. Rika Ishikawa must have had lots of fun spending the entire film teasing her coworker Yui Okada, where else can you strap bombs to someone you work with and not get arrested? The last v-u-den member is Erika Miyoshi, who spends most of the film not talking as Kotomi Kanda. I hope it is not because she’s a terrible actress, but you can’t find out from just this film. This is all brought to us by Kenta Fukasaku, son of famous director Kinji Fukasaku, he finished up the abomination that was Battle Royale 2. This film is far less an embarrassment to cinema. The use of yo-yos allows such wonderful terms as yoing, yo-yoing, yoed, yo-yo attack, you got yoed, and yo-yo Joe!