Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 209 – Worst Fears Part I

2001 Official Site
Directed by Risha Denney

Not a cliffhanger! I don’t think I can wait another year to… Oh, wait, I don’t have to since the entire show is finished. That’s the power of procrastination! Laziness wins again. You can’t fight the lazy, because it won’t bother to show up to the boxing ring.

This is the end of Season 2, and what a magical ride it’s been. We had characters leave, die, and disappear. We’ve had new characters show up. We have the Grey invading multiple times. We got people with big ears. We got improved makeup effects. We got alternate universes and flashbacks. We even have Chimp Guy! Thus, it is the best season yet. But let’s get this episode out of the way!

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Commander Elizabeth Shelby (Risha Denney) – Stop standing in Shelby’s way or I’ll kick your butt! Shelby’s back and being Shelby and stuff. Dr. Henglaar (John Whiting) – Medical Doctor, Tellarite, and an actual interesting character. No longer wearing a pig nose and Muppet gloves thanks to John Whiting learning the magic of makeup effects. John Whiting rules. He’s really kosher. Lt. Cmd. James Darwin (Cliff Gardner) – Darwin replaces Joseph Johns in doing whatever the hell it was Joseph Johns did. He’s sort of like an extra first officer for Captain Angry. Darwin was on the old USS Angeles show, so he is another holdover. Admiral Nechayev (Renee Huberstock) – The best admiral ever is now a semi-main character, appearing in pretty much every episode and yelling at everyone. Renee Huberstock was a day player in several episodes in Season 1, now she has a permanent role, so they’ll need another person to play random background women. Will Captain Angry and Admiral Angry yell at each other? Heck yeah!

Guest Star Roll Call

Princess Illiana (Katie Moss) – Princess Illiana flees her homeworld which is under attack by the Grey, like they are every day for a million years or something. Then they want the Federation to send thousands of ships to defend their big ear culture in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, that will work! Illiana is a Tren’La, which is like a Cobra’La, except not at all. But she does have big ears, so big Spock gets all jealous. But Spock would never admit it, because he’s a Vulcan. Aris (John Reynolds) – Illiana’s son who becomes friends with Artim and they pal around and become tactical geniuses who save the day. He’s got extra brains in those big ears. Or extra ear wax. That he uses to throw at people. The Ferengi regularly mock his tiny ears. Commodore Cole (Jennifer Cole)- Oh, crap, I forgot to write up a bio of Commodore Cole! Oh, crap, I still didn’t write one and now this is published. Maybe next time!

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Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 208 – Cowards Death

2001 Official Site
Directed by Jennifer Cole

How dare you call me a coward??? I’ll kick your butt all the way to imploded Vulcan!

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Commander Elizabeth Shelby (Risha Denney) – Stop standing in Shelby’s way or I’ll kick your butt! Shelby’s back and being Shelby and stuff. Dr. Henglaar (John Whiting) – Medical Doctor, Tellarite, and an actual interesting character. Now with new and improved nose. He went to Space Dr. 90210. John Whiting rules. Miss Piggy has a poster of him on her wall. Counselor Myra Elbrey (Barbara Clifford) – Betazoid, used to teach at the Academy. Survivor of the Grey attack on the USS Rutledge. Has a dog named Mr. Scott. Occasionally blonde. Ensign Jenna McFarland (Adrianne Lange) – Half-Trill, Half-Human, all Navigation. I still don’t know if she has a worm in her belly. Is always there if you need the ship steered. Has amusing stories that she never gets to finish due to the plots developing. Her uncle’s name is Rufus. Ensign Andrew Barrett (Tyler Bosserman) – Communications officer and brand new member of the third grade! Wooo!! A whole season later and he still has no character development. So let’s make something up. He is deathly afraid of oreoes, because an oreo killed his father. This is now canon. Lt. Luko (Terence Schoshinski) – Who is this dude? – Luko is the replacement for Lt. John Martinez who is off doing…something…maybe they’ll explain it when he returns later in the series. Luko was on Voyager, so we know he’s used to being on ships run by morons. But he was also in the Maquis, so never trust him. As for a security officer, he gets shot and contributes to the death of a main character in his first appearance. Nowhere to go but up. Luko is a Bre’elian, which is funny because it rhymes with alien.

Guest Star Roll Call

Crewman Thalek (Beau Christian Williams)- An Andorian who is feeling blue. Because of crippling depression! He just needs to meet a nice Na’vi chick and settle down.

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Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 206 – To The Stars

2001 Official Site
Directed by Rob Caves and Jennifer Cole

This episode is special because it is filled with clips from the older series Voyages of the USS Angeles. Thus, I have to make a whole new second Roll Call, for the second time this season. This season of Hidden Frontier hates me. The next time we have a Very Special Episode of Star Trek: Hidden Frontier, can it please be about someone fighting space anorexia or high school space bullies instead of just having an entire new cast? Or how about an episode where someone is an alcoholic, you could call it To The Bars!

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Counselor Myra Elbrey (Barbara Clifford) – Betazoid, used to teach at the Academy. Survivor of the Grey attack on the USS Rutledge. Has a dog named Mr. Scott. Occasionally blonde. Ensign Artim Ibanya (Beau Christian Williams) – Because YOU demanded it, the kid from Star Trek: Insurrection with the CGI mouse is now a grown up main character! Wait, who demanded this? Someone did. And now we got it. His character is not as terrible as you might imagine, which is a shock to me.

OMG FLASHBACK Roll Call!

Fleet Captain Cole (Jennifer Cole) – Commodore Cole once was just a lowly Fleet Captain who no one listened to. Thus, they promoted her! Lt. Jason Munoz (Jason Munoz) – Munoz is back despite not being really back and just being stock footage! Hooray! Counselor Katie Moss (Katie Moss) – Kate Moss? It took her until the 24th Century to defeat her anorexia. Manages to get kidnapped as well, making her the supermodel counselor version of Harry Kim. Artim (Beau Christian Williams) – I guess if I was part of the LA Star Trek fan club and had made these flicks for years, I would have seen Beau Christian Williams grow up before my eyes. Now I just see it on the internet. Lt Tenenbaum (Jake Tenenbaum) – I don’t know anything about him, so let’s just as some lyrics from O Tannenbaum: O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your branches green delight us. They’re green when summer days are bright;— They’re green when winter snow is white. O, Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your branches green delight us! Ensign James Darwin (Cliff Gardner) – Before he was Lt. Cmdr. James Darwin, he was Ensign James Darwin. Thus, here he is. Amazing, I know. Dr. Henglaar (John Whiting) – Medical Doctor, Tellarite, and an actual interesting character. Ignore the fact he is wearing a pig nose and Muppet gloves…again! Because it’s a flashback, you see. John Whiting ruled even then. He can cure his own swine flu.

If they make me set up a THIRD brand new Roll Call this season I’m gonna…

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Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 205 – Encke

2001 Official Site
Directed by Risha Denney

We got a potential love interest, a random ship blowing up, Greys being jerks, and secret space pyramids. Just another day in the Briar Patch! The USS Excelsior is in the thick of it all, because otherwise this episode would be pretty boring with Captain Angry just reading a mission report of the people who actually discovered all this, then getting angry it wasn’t him and then he punches the wall and kills his fish and eats a lot of toasted ravioli and then throws up the toasted ravioli in Ensign Ro’s bed and tries to pretend it wasn’t him. Poor Ensign Ro… I’m hungry for toasted ravioli!

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Commander Elizabeth Shelby (Risha Denney) – Stop standing in Shelby’s way or I’ll kick your butt! Shelby’s back and being Shelby and stuff. Dr. Henglaar (John Whiting) – Medical Doctor, Tellarite, and an actual interesting character. He’s a changed man! John Whiting rules. The nose knows! Counselor Myra Elbrey (Barbara Clifford) – Betazoid, used to teach at the Academy. Survivor of the Grey attack on the USS Rutledge. Has a dog named Mr. Scott. Occasionally blonde. Lt. Cmd. Robin Lefler (Joanne Busch) – Chief Engineer, and still dating Wesley Crusher despite the fact he ran off after last season. You may remember Lefler when she was Ashley Judd on the actual The Next Generation show. Has a bunch of laws that she will recite until you pull out a gun and kill yourself. Lefler’s Law Number 244 is “Recite laws until everyone dies!” Ensign Ro Nevin (Arthur Bosserman) – Science officer and Ro Laren’s brother. His hair is now more frosted than tiger-endorsed flakes! Ensign Brad T. Rawling (Tristan Clark) – Ensign Ro’s best friend and lover of alien poontang. Communications officer. Makes bad jokes. Spends a lot of his time hanging out in his quarters with Ensign Ro and getting hammered. Ensign Jenna McFarland (Adrianne Lange) – Half-Trill, Half-Human, all Navigation. I still don’t know if she has a worm in her belly. Is always there if you need the ship steered. Has amusing stories that she never gets to finish due to the plots developing. Her uncle’s name is Rufus. Lt. Toby Witczak (Matt Kruer) – Still dead! Lt. Luko (Terence Schoshinski) – Who is this dude? – Luko is the replacement for Lt. John Martinez who is off doing…something…maybe they’ll explain it when he returns later in the series. Luko was on Voyager, so we know he’s used to being on ships run by morons. But he was also in the Maquis, so never trust him. As for a security officer, he gets shot and contributes to the death of a main character in his first appearance. Nowhere to go but up. Luko is a Bre’elian, which is funny because it rhymes with alien. Chief Teb (Angela Hahn) – Transporter Chief Chick in a few episodes, so we might as well introduce her and stuff. I don’t know if she goes on to bigger and better things or if she’s playing “Beam Me Up!” until she retires.

Guest Star Roll Call

Ensign Corey Aster (J.T. Tepnapa) – Corey Aster is from the USS Olympus and has come to specialize your mission. Or something. He’s that guy you never remember from college who suddenly shows up one day and wants to date you.

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Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 204 – The Great Starship Robbery

2001 Official Site
Directed by Jennifer Cole

So this episode results in some cast changes, including someone getting blown away, and someone leaving while not saying goodbye. We also get a new guy, who we will make fun of because he is the new guy and that is how we haze here at TarsTarkas.NET.

A fan series where you can’t pay the actors and with a long production schedule will have to accommodate the leaving of actors, and that is a major problem with the first few seasons of Hidden Frontier. So this is them dealing with some of those problems. These make more sense than some real films.

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Commander Elizabeth Shelby (Risha Denney) – Stop standing in Shelby’s way or I’ll kick your butt! Shelby’s back and being Shelby and stuff. Lt. Cmd. Robin Lefler (Joanne Busch) – Chief Engineer, and still dating Wesley Crusher despite the fact he ran off after last season. You may remember Lefler when she was Ashley Judd on the actual The Next Generation show. Has a bunch of laws that she will recite until you pull out a gun and kill yourself. Lefler’s Law Number 244 is “Recite laws until everyone dies!” Ensign Ro Nevin (Arthur Bosserman) – Science officer and Ro Laren’s brother. His hair is now more frosted than tiger-endorsed flakes! Ensign Brad T. Rawling (Tristan Clark) – Ensign Ro’s best friend and lover of alien poontang. Communications officer. Makes bad jokes. Spends a lot of his time hanging out in his quarters with Ensign Ro and getting hammered. Ensign Jenna McFarland (Adrianne Lange) – Half-Trill, Half-Human, all Navigation. I still don’t know if she has a worm in her belly. Is always there if you need the ship steered. Has amusing stories that she never gets to finish due to the plots developing. Her uncle’s name is Rufus. Lt. Toby Witczak (Matt Kruer) – Assistant chief engineer, was on the USS Devonshire during the Grey attack. Still putting it on a pedestal. Witczak enjoys reading The Hobbit and getting shot down for dates by his boss. And getting shot in the chest. Whoops! Lt. Luko (Terence Schoshinski) – Who is this dude? – Luko is the replacement for Lt. John Martinez who is off doing…something…maybe they’ll explain it when he returns later in the series. Luko was on Voyager, so we know he’s used to being on ships run by morons. But he was also in the Maquis, so never trust him. As for a security officer, he gets shot and contributes to the death of a main character in his first appearance. Nowhere to go but up. Luko is a Bre’elian, which is funny because it rhymes with alien. Chief Teb (Angela Hahn) – Transporter Chief Chick in a few episodes, so we might as well introduce her and stuff. I don’t know if she goes on to bigger and better things or if she’s playing “Beam Me Up!” until she retires.

Guest Star Roll Call

Sha’kev (Dan Crout) – Another fabulous Andorian who is overacting and chewing the scenery into little bits o’ chewed green carpet. And he’s AWESOME! We need completely loopy bad guys out of the blue (Andorian blue pun intended!) Just imagine how angry Captain Angry would be if he had to listen to this guy talk! Totally kills Toby, because he can. Vorina (Suzy Kaplan) – Sha’kev’s equally crazy accomplice/girlfriend/green woman. It’s not easy being green, especially when your kids will turn out aquamarine! That’s just the kind of thing to drive a girl into the life of the criminal. She even kills her own men when she wants to. Sadly, she doesn’t kill Luko.

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