Posts tagged "Zooey Deschanel"

RiffTrax Trip Report – The Happening

So the RiffTrax for The Happening is out, and thus gave me a reason to finally see the M. Night Shyamalan movie about killer plants and Mark Wahlberg.

The Happening has the distinction of being a movie about plants who leak an airborne toxin to kill people, because people are a bunch of douchebags who pollute the planet, kill bees, and spend lots of the film staring vacantly into space. This film is unbelievably bad, and the longer it goes, the worse the movie gets. The only likeable characters all die, and instead we have to follow the complete bore Mark Wahlberg is playing as he wusses his way around the East Coast. Mark is joined by Zooey Deschanel, who cannot act at all and spends most of the film staring with wide eyes. Rather disturbing. The third person in the main group is the daughter of John Leguizamo’s character, played by Ashlyn Sanchez, who is a small girl and thus Shyamalan gives her odd camera angles to emphasize how this is extra traumatic to her, even though the movie is boring. The likable characters such as John Leguizamo, the Hot Dog guy, the Army guy, and the two kids who get shotgunned all manage to die quickly. Everyone who lives does the dumbest things over and over again, to the point where you want them to die, but the movie hates you and keeps them alive. Up yours, The Happening. The film is filled with incorrect science on evolution and plant communication, plus just says “we’ll never know because it was nature” as an answer to almost everything. Even though the film already answered the question like twenty times in the film. Look for Dante from Clerks showing up as a jeep driver who has a need for speed and not wearing seatbelts.

A film like that would be quite painful by itself, but luckily we have Mike, Kevin, and Bill to keep us company. Thank goodness for that! From opening references about What’s Happening and stretching Deschanel, to constant breaking into songs and riffing on the terrible camera angles, fun times for all. Go to hell, plants!

Remember to run from the wind, because the wind is evil. And plants are evil, but it is the wind you run from. The movie tries to have jumpscares with wind! This movie is terrible. But the RiffTrax is golden. Stop by and pick it up, you’ll be glad you did, once you get over the fact you have to watch The Happening.

The Happening
Happening wind

Seriously, this movie is TERRIBLE!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - November 14, 2008 at 1:23 pm

Categories: RiffTrax   Tags: , , , , ,

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Review)

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Martin Freeman as Arthur Dent
Mos Def as Ford Prefect
Zooey Deschanel as Trillian
Sam Rockwell as Zaphod Beeblebrox
Alan Rickman as Marvin (voice)
Warwick Davis as Marvin (body)

The classic work by Douglas Adams finally comes to the silver screen. Twenty years or so it took, with pitfalls all the way. It was originally a radio play, then a book, then sequels, miniseries, video games, and towels followed. Finally, after years of stalling, the movie has been realized. Douglas Adams died, but the film continued onward. He did manage to contribute a lot toward the script before he left us. I myself read the books in high school years ago, but had not read them recently, so they were not fresh on my mind. I did not want to constantly compare the film to the books, so I stayed away from them until after the show. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, or HG2G as the slang goes (Or even H2G2, which is being used as well as typos rapidly expand their stranglehold upon the English language) the movie has some big shoes to fill and big expectations to meet.
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 4, 2005 at 4:14 am

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , , ,