Posts tagged "Princess of Mars"

New Review – Princess of Mars

The Asylum’s D2DVD mockbuster Princess of Mars comes home to TarsTarkas.NET. We got Traci Lords, rubber masks, bad acting, cgi spiders, Tars Tarkas, high-hopping, flying cars, and a white guy swordfighting an arab dude over a blonde woman. Complete with loads of pics and video clips, read it today!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 3, 2010 at 6:12 pm

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Princess of Mars trailer

UPDATE – Read the TarsTarkas.NET review of Asylum’s Princess of Mars!
The trailer for The Asylum’s Princess of Mars hit the web yesterday, the one day in the past month I DIDN’T check The Asylum’s website for news on the trailer. So once again, The Asylum finds a way to screw me over, this time not even involving making me watch a horrible film! Damn crafty, those Asylum blokes. And they know I’ll be watching Princess of Mars, so they win again. Asylum! Gah!!!

So, anyway, the trailer is here. You need Quicktime, or Quicktime Alternative, which is better. Or just watch this YouTube version of it!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - November 24, 2009 at 6:23 pm

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Traci Lords IS Dejah Thoris, Princess of Helium

UPDATE – Read the TarsTarkas.NET review of Asylum’s Princess of Mars!
God help us all…

I am sure Jabba the Hutt wants his slave babe Leia costume back!
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More Asylum Princess of Mars

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 16, 2009 at 8:05 pm

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Asylum's Princess of Mars poster!

UPDATE – Read the TarsTarkas.NET review of Asylum’s Princess of Mars!
The poster for the DVD of Asylum’s Princess of Mars is up. It’s got giant spiders (Woola?) and the first glimpses of Traci Lords as Dejah Thoris. And notice the Avatar namedrop on the cover.
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - October 5, 2009 at 11:27 am

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Asylum's Princess of Mars gets stills!

UPDATE: READ OUR REVIEW OF PRINCESS OF MARS NOW!

See John Carter of Mars! And the first Tars Tarkas that will make it to a completed film. Barsoom makes it to movie form! Take that, Pixar! You couldn’t deal with the small fact of public domain! That even means TarsTarkas.NET could make a Princess of Mars film, even though it couldn’t be shown in the UK because it is still under copyright there, IIRC. But, whatever. Asylum is no stranger to doing ERB works, having done The Land That Time Forgot earlier this year (and coincidentally enough, I forgot to bother to review it!)

Production stills uploaded to the Asylum page show us what we can expect from Princess of Mars…

John Carter and Tars Tarkas:
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It is beefcake Antonio Sabato, Jr. as John Carter, Doctor of ER! Or something…
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That’s a pretty Earthy Barsoom…

Sure, Tars Tarkas has only two arms, but Matt Lasky, who plays Tars Tarkas, has posted comments on TarsTarkas.NET. Let’s see Willem DaFoe do that!
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No images of Traci Lords as Dejah Thoris, or any knowledge if she will be red, or if she will be naked. The mind wonders, because Traci Lords is totally not associated with nudity….

Thanks to Undead Backbrain and Avery

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - September 24, 2009 at 2:34 pm

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Princess of Mars – Mockbuster from The Asylum!

UPDATE – Read the TarsTarkas.NET review of Asylum’s Princess of Mars!
What in the ever-lovin’ blue eyed Thing crap is this? Someone at The Asylum either loves Edgar Rice Burroughs or really really hates Edgar Rice Burroughs (or at least figured out much of his work is public domain in the US) as besides the badly reviewed Land that Time Forgot adaptation, we’re getting a mockbuster of the upcoming John Carter of Mars movie with Princess of Mars. Now, we have a love-hate relationship with The Asylum here at TarsTarkas.NET. Transmorphers was awesome, Invasion of the Pod People was pretty good (and if I ever find my copy to make video clips off of I’ll up the review), but most of their good fare was directed by Leigh Scott, thus we get a uninspired entry with The Terminators and the Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus movie that needed more Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus. But at least they are trying for some higher-concept films. Now with Princess of Mars, they have the potential to make an okay version of the classic ERB stories, but I doubt that will happen as the movie stars Antonio Sabato, Jr. and Traci Lords. Traci Lords is going to be Dejah Thoris. I think my brain exploded. No word on who Tars Tarkas will be or if they will even try to have giant green four-armed monsters, or just some regular dudes in green makeup. Also no word on if everyone will be naked. All we got is this tiny plot description:

Based on the novel by Edgar Rice Burroughs,’ US soldier John Carter finds himself inexplicably transported to Mars in the midst of a war between two alien races.

So I guess he won’t be a former confederate officer. He’ll probably be a modern day guy because they should have one of those uniforms lying around. I shall be watching over this one, because, what the heck? See you on December 29th.

Princess of Mars

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - August 22, 2009 at 11:34 am

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