Godzilla is the cheese!

Now Big G is in trouble! The three invading space monsters are now super-charged and ready to kill Godzilla. Ally Red Ronin has gotten his head chopped clean off, and 12-year-old pilot Robert lies unconscious and in danger. Luckily SHIELD people have finally shown up to give us smart remarks on the impending action.

If you need a refresher on who’s-who, check out the Godzilla Marvel Splash Page, and feel free to check out the rest of March of Godzilla 2013!

Note: Never suck Godzilla’s belly

Thanks to the Mega-Monsters having received the super-charging Energex-ray, Godzilla is outnumbered and outgunned, and starts to get stomped. The three super-powered Mega-Monsters pound him like a red-headed dinosaur step-child.

Dum Dum and Gabe grab SHIELD ships to fly in and help the battle. Their distractions allows Godzilla to be able to kill Krollar! Take that, Krollar, you were the worst of these monsters! Godzilla sets his sights on Triax, who soon is killed dead as well. Triax was totally arrogant, so au revoir to that guy.

Rhiahn chomps on Dum Dum’s ship, but doesn’t swallow, and Dum Dum gets knocked out of his mouth…into Godzilla’s hand! Godzilla just puts Dum Dum on the ground and then fights Rhiahn. Rhiahn tries to chop off Godzilla’s head, but Godzilla moves Rhiahn’s blades so the Mega-Monster beheads himself!

On the Moon, the Betas all die from no air. Meanwhile, the Megans decide that since they can’t conquer Earth, they are too tired to war with the Betans any more. It’s peace through exhaustion! Or just being poor. Well, let’s take our victories however we can get them. Luckily, the Betans and the Megans were never seen again in Marvel comics, so we can assume that they broke both their economies so much they can’t even afford space travel to make background cameos!

Next time — Godzilla goes somewhere you will never expect! No, not there, I said somewhere you don’t expect! Stop guessing, just find out next time.

The best part of these tales is Dum Dum’s names for the weird monsters

Triax stole the rocket boots idea from Spock in Star Trek 5!

When last we left Godzilla, he was kidnapped by aliens and told that he’s about to get used as an intergalactic Pokemon! Godzilla wasn’t too pleased, but he was less pleased with the jerkoff evil monster Triax, who showed up to beat him up. Triax will soon be joined by his two buddies and we’ll be off at the races. If you need catching up on the who what and wheres, check out the Godzilla Marvel Splash Page, and yes, March of Godzilla 2013 is marching into June!

Triax looks like a rhino that forgot his horn and instead put his eyes on stalks. Luckily for us, he also has rocket thrusters on the bottom of his feet, allowing him to fly around like he’s Iron Man or something. Triax is also arrogant and leaves psychic taunts, except for when the taunts are coming from the Megan controllers, at which point I just assume the writer wasn’t paying attention. Fellow Mega-monster Krollar looks like a giant red Leech toy from Master of the Universe, with a horn on his head and the ability to burrow underground (Hello, Baragon!) Krollar does one better by eating dirt and crap and spitting it back out as a weapon. Krollar is a giant flying green monster with dinner plates for jaws and a tail that turns into a helicopter blade. He was altered by the Megans and is a “Biomech”, something the Megans have to remind Krollar of, because he’s too stupid to realize he’s now a freak of nature. Alien nature. Krollar has only one eye, because the last thing you want a flying monster to have is depth perception.

Triax in the mood for slaughter (and refers to himself as the “first” of the monsters…) He has hover jets on the bottom of his feet, and can transform into a sleeker flying attack mode to battle both Godzilla and Red Ronin.

The Megans spend their time taunting Robby with psychic babbling. Robert gets over his reluctance to kill because this monster is intelligent and evil. Very convenient!

Triax tries to trash Salt Lake City! How often do monsters attack Salt Lake City? Not very…

The Megans send the other two Mega-Monsters to help, Rhiahn and Krollar. The Megas declare their monsters are more powerful thanks to their biomech genetic alterations. Triax’s jet feet, Rhiahn’s helicopter tail, and Krollar’s burrowing and super-spitting ability.

The truth about the Housing Bubble!

“Snurf” — Triax
“Grooo” — Krollar
Actual quotes!

The Betans damage the Megan crash but get destroyed (and crash into the air dome of their base, rupturing it and dooming everyone inside!)

Riahn uses his Anterior Bio-Blade to decapitate Red Ronin! You might say, Red Ronin has lost his head over all this excitement!

The Megan ship fires its Energex-ray! (and then explodes!)

Oh noes, the monsters are Energexed! What will Godzilla do now that these monsters have gone all Super Mario and ate mushrooms? Find out in the next exciting issue! Be there, or catch it eventually, I know life can get busy at times…

Not the Energex-Ray! Explain the Energex-Ray! Not the Energex-Ray!

Continue reading →