Wedding Planner Mystery takes a vow on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries!

Wedding Planner Mystery Hallmark Movies and Mysteries

Anyone messes with my wedding plans and they get a glue gun between the eyes!

Everyone look out! Weddings are the new source of mysterious mysteries! And not lame themed wedding designed for Facebook likes, there is a murder and kidnapping in Hallmark Movies and Mysteries’ Wedding Planner Mystery! Luckily, no one ever can outwit a wedding planner, thus Carnegie Kincaid is on the case.

Hey, is she named after Andrew Carnegie, who funded the Carnegie libraries, thus allowing this mystery book to have the obligatory references to libraries and librarians that just happen to be in 97% of mystery books I read? Obviously. Of course, I’d have to read Deborah Donnelly’s book to be certain, but I’m pretty confident in my guess. In fact, I hope the continued adaptation of mystery series means we’ll start getting all those series with talking animals and magical animals that help solve mysteries. I want a weekend that is all talking magic cats solving human murders and demanding more tuna!

Back to Wedding Planner Mystery:

Based on Deborah Donnelly’s novel “Veiled Threats,” Carnegie Kincaid (Erica Durance) is a wedding planner and a perfectionist in both work and romance. When a murder occurs and a bride (Chelan Simmons) is kidnapped surrounding the wedding of a prominent family embroiled in a high profile fraud scandal, Carnegie becomes a suspect. She is questioned by police and pursued by shady news reporter Aaron Gold (Andrew W. Walker). To make matters more terrifying, Carnegie is pretty certain whoever is responsible for the crime is out to get rid of her. As she struggles to clear her name, Carnegie is hounded by a hard-boiled detective (Rick Ravanello) and wooed by a handsome lawyer (Brandon Beemer). With her life exploding into a whirlwind mix of danger, mystery, and romance, Carnegie begins to realize that love does not always arrive in a pretty package and that the perfect “Prince Charming” she’s been waiting for may not have her best interests in mind.

Wedding Planner Mystery is directed by Ron Oliver (Perfect on Paper, Beethoven’s Treasure Tail), with a screenplay by Darcy Meyers (a writer for JAG and Silk Stalkings) based on the book by Deborah Donnelly.

Wedding Planner Mystery premieres Sunday, October 19 on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries!

via Hallmark Movies & Mysteries

SciFi Channel upcoming crap

Before SciFi Channel becomes SyFy, they must make us watch garbage. And after they become SyFy, they STILL must make us watch garbage!

Sand Serpents sounds like someone liked Dune a little too much and decided to turn that into a SciFi Channel creature feature. So they did. Directed by Jeff Renfroe and starring Jason Gedrick, we have US soldiers chasing the Taliban, who find out they are now the ones being chased by the Sand Serpents! Watch it July 11th.

Hellhounds is directed by Silver Spoons himself, Rick Schroder. It involves hounds that are in Hell, because some dude in ancient Greece has wandered into there to go get his girlfriend. I guess he brings other people with him, otherwise the Hellhounds won’t have any doggy snacks. Will Cerberus show up? Find out July 19th.

Malibu Shark Attack is next on July 25, it used to be Goblin Shark Attack and is about a Goblin Shark that attacks. In Malibu. Peta Wilson will defend people from goblin sharks that are released after an earthquake opens an underground lake. Chelan Simmons also costars, she has fought giant bugs, ogres, chupacabras, and snakehead fish before on SciFi Channel, so freaky sharks should be no biggie.

Infestation will premiere August 8th. The official site has stuff for you to check out.

Fast and Ferocious shows up August 11th. No one knows anything about this film yet, so it is probably something else renamed. Hopefully it involves Vin Diesel racing cars against mutant cheetahs.

High Plains Invader then arrives August 30th. It used to be called Alien Western and stars James Marsters vs a bunch of giant bugs in the old west.

SciFi Channel will also be showing a bunch of stuff from The Asylum, with Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus airing August 29th, Transmorphers 2: Fall of Man airing August 1st, and The Terminators airing August 15th.

Sand Serpents

Caved In: Prehistoric Terror (Review)

Caved In: Prehistoric Terror

Christopher Atkins as John Palmer
Colm Meaney as Vincent
Angela Featherstone as Samantha Palmer
Monica Birladeanu as Sophie
David Palffy as Marcel
Chelan Simmons as Emily Palmer
Stevie Mitchell as Miles Palmer
Directed by Richard Pepin

On the next Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: Chief Miles O’Brien fights giant rhinoceros beetles! Well, that would still be better than that stupid baseball episode. Instead, we get another average SciFi Channel movie. Unlike some of their other movies, this one is not so terrible you want to gouge out your eyes and ears to become blind and deaf to the world. Now, that doesn’t make this movie any good. It is just as far from good as it is from bad in many places. In fact, at some points it’s laughable, and several of the characters are never in any danger at all, as the movie is incapable of doing anything inventive like kill off a member of the main family. The problem with the predictability is the film becomes uninteresting. While not committing the ultimate SciFi Channel sin of being boring, it is not anything you’d sit around and catch the second running of. Watch, rinse, forget. Not many films are brave enough to specialize an obscure beetle, but I bet the writer saw a special on the Discovery Channel that mentioned that rhinoceros beetles are proportionally the strongest animals on the planet. Some gears started to crank, electricity began to flow, the light bulb started to flicker…Bingo: make them huge! That also somehow makes them prehistoric, and meat eaters. Since real rhinoceros beetles only eat fruit and rotting wood, they are only dangerous to Jack Pumpkinhead from The Marvelous Land of Oz. He is nowhere to be found, though it would have made the film that much cooler. Instead of that weird fun, we have to put up with the Palmers. Not the Palmers from 24, but these are some professional outdoors adventure guides who show rich people around in the outside while overcoming the troubles of modern families like homework and teenage girls hogging the bathroom.

Caved In: Prehistoric Terror follows the Type B SciFi Channel monster movie formula: Large Swarms of similar creatures with a Giant Queen terrorize a group (similar films: Pterodactyl and Snakehead Terror.) Type A SciFi Channel monster movie formula: A singular or small group (4 or less) of monsters terrorize a group(similar films: Frankenfish and Manticore.) Type C SciFi Channel monster movie formula: A swarm of monsters with no queen terrorize a group (similar films: Komodo vs. Cobra and Curse of the Komodo.) Now that we’ve outlined the basic three plots, we can jump into the film itself, starting with the characters.
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Snakehead Terror (Review)

Snakehead Terror

Snakehead Terror
Bruce Boxleitner as Sheriff Patrick James
Carol Alt as Lori Dale
William B. Davis as Doc Jenkins
Chelan Simmons as Amber
Juliana Wimbles as Jagger
Ryan McDonell as Luke
Snakehead Terror

In 2002, Northern Snakeheads were found in the wild in the Washington, DC area, in a pond near Crofton, Maryland. The Snakeheads are a non-native species with no known predators in the area, and are considered an ecological menace because they are pervasive carnivores and would decimate fish populations. Snakehead fish are not only predators that eat almost anything, but they can survive outside of water for up to a few days. The original hysteria died down after the lake was poisoned and drain, but the snakeheads have been popping up again more recently. This film plays off of the fears of the original, and turns it into the classic “Monsters Attack!” plotline familiar to Sci-Fi channel movies, as well as Science Fiction movies for the past 80 years. In fact, there are two(!) Snakehead movies running around on Sci-Fi channel, Snakehead Terror is joined by Frankenfish, which we’ll be going over next. (This film was the first part of the double feature) As can be imagined, there are many similarities between these two films. They both share properties with the tried and true formulas of the monster attacks movies, which most, if not all, of the movies produced cheaply by Sci-Fi channel give us again and again.
Snakehead Terror
In an actual neat-looking opening, news stories and newspaper clippings of the snakehead in the lake are glossed over, giving us a crash course background of information, or a refresher for those of us familiar. Then we cut to TWO YEARS LATER. A hunter and his dog (who I think is named Hunter) are in the Maryland forest, when Hunter comes across a mutilated bear. The dog Hunter sees the tail of a fish flopping away, and gives chase into the nearby lake. Old Hunter Guy (later named Ray Wilkins) follows, but he’s too old to keep up. Hunter the dog enters the lake, and is quickly chomped by something in the water. “BOOOO!!!” for the dog death! Hunter Ray Wilkins catches up to what’s left of his dog, and he’s soon chowed down upon as well.

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