Double Mommy quadruples down on Lifetime!

Double Mommy lifetime

I searched #18rapist on Twitter and it had no hits as of time of this posting, but…

A small while ago, Lifetime hit us with the hilariously titled Double Daddy, about a guy who knocked up two girls, one of which was troubled but also the character you started cheering for even when she became a murderer. In that spirit they are back with Double Mommy, but, no, it’s not about a girl who knocks up two other girls, it’s about a girl who is pregnant with twins, except they each have a different dad. Also one of the dads raped her! Wait, what??? Also the clear his name of being a rapist, he’s going to kill the pregnant girl? This is ridiculous, this is crazy, this is Lifetime!

After taking a break for the summer before their senior year, Ryan and Jess rekindle their relationship, and find out that Jess is pregnant with twins. When Ryan’s mother demands a paternity test, they find out that Ryan is only the father of one baby… The other father is Ryan’s best friend Bryce, who Ryan discovers date raped Jess at a party over the summer. With college recruiters and an overbearing father looming over Bryce’s head, he will stop at nothing to make sure that he clears his name–even if it means getting rid of Jess and her babies!

Double Mommy stars Morgan Obenreder (Mormon for a Month), Mark Grossman (Break-Up Nightmare), Griffin Freeman (Sugar Daddies), David Starzyk (Bring It On: Fight to the Finish), Bruce Boxleitner (Snakehead Terror) It’s written by veteran double drama writer Barbara Kymlicka (Double Daddy!) and directed by Doug Campbell (Stalked by My Doctor)

Double Mommy premieres Saturday, March 18th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

So You Said Yes gets passive aggressive on Hallmark Channel!

It's true, she said "Yes" to a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

It’s true, she said “Yes” to a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

I can imagine the title So You Said Yes being said like 30 different ways. Shocked, disappointed, angry, sad, surprised, bored. It could go in any direction. But as the plot involves someone defending her relationship against a future mother-in-law who is a bit nutty, it’s probably said in disappointment with an undercurrent of revenge. Revenge is a dish best served cold, and it is very cold in a bridal shop. Wait, is it cold in a bridal shop? I’ve never been in one. Pretend it is, so the metaphor fits, I’m not going to back to edit this paragraph. We’ve come to far to stop, full steam ahead!

So You Said Yes is part of Hallmark Channel going romance crazy for Valentine’s Day and pumping out a ton of original movies, so enjoy all these romance flicks!

When Annabelle, the owner of a specialty bridal shop, falls for Sam, the son of her fierce bridal shop competition, she must fend off Sam’s mother’s attempts at sabotage to be with the man she loves.

So You Said Yes stars Kellie Martin (ER) as Annabelle Blanche, Chad Willett (Category 6: Day of Destruction) as Sam Taylor, Jennifer Dale (Aladdin: The Magical Family Musical) as Claire Taylor, Rhonda Dent (Insecticidal) as Hilary, Danyella Angel (The Interview) as Rachel, Patricia Isaac (Baby Sellers) as Maya, and Bruce Boxleitner (Snakehead Terror) as Nick Blanche.

Directed by Christie Will (A Cookie Cutter Christmas) and written by Robin Palmer (Geek Charming is her only other credited film). As I liked A Cookie Cutter Christmas despite its flaws, I’m a bit more interested in So You Said Yes than I would be otherwise. At the very least, Christie Will knows how to portray women feuding. Hmmmm, maybe there’s something there!

So You Said Yes premieres Saturday, February 7th, on Hallmark Channel! Now if you excuse me, I’m off to get some Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

via Hallmark/Bettina Strauss

Area 51

Area 51

aka 51

Written by Lucy Mukerjee
Story by Kenny Yakkel
Directed by Jason Connery

Area 51
Aliens just can’t make Jello correctly…

Area 51 is a more unique SyFy offering. Instead of the usual CGI effects chasing our heroes around, instead we have monsters made of largely practical effects and makeup mixed with CGI. It actually rules, because it’s so unexpected. The effects work is pretty good, the various monster costumes are full costume props, some of them being large wearable puppet constructs. The only alien costume I didn’t like was the one for Patient Zero, because it looked too much like a guy in a full body suit. This reminds me of the Don Dohler films, which was some nice nostalgia. And Area 51 is better than many of those!

Area 51
You think this is crazy, guess what they got in Area 52!

By far not the first flick to feature Area 51 or aliens fighting people in Area 51, Area 51 does give us a variety of creatures causing a variety of problems. The different stories sort of weave together, but have a bit of trouble trying to find a narrative whole. The different creatures with their own different agendas gives them more characterization than usual in a SyFy style flick. The fact that not all of the monsters are mindless killing machines was a great touch that needs to be used more in other creature features.

Area 51
Suddenly the alien thinks he’s Neo!

The basic story is the press are being let into Area 51 for the first time as part of a media transparency thing, except they are only going to get to see a tiny part of the base and nothing cool. Until things go wrong… Alien killing spree wrong!

Colonel Ronald Martin (Bruce Boxleitner) – The guy in charge of Area 51 who leads the tour and the eventual attempt to clean up the monster massacre.
Claire Fallon (Vanessa Branch) – A rabble-rousing muckeraker blogger who is famous all over the world. Takes up the fine tradition of Lois Lane-style female journalists (a trope that predates Lois Lane back to at least the Torchy Blane films) in that she fights the system and doesn’t put up with bullies. Even alien bullies
Sam Whittaker (John Shea) – A famous news reporter who is inside the system, sort of like Ted Kopple. He is also on the Area 51 tour along with his camerawoman.
Sgt. Hannah (Rachel Miner) – One of the guards on the base, a decorated war hero who is uncomfortable with the recognition because she doesn’t feel she earned it. Becomes the de facto commander of the guards tasked with not letting any of the aliens escape from the underground compound after everyone of higher rank is slaughtered.
Aaron “Shoes” Schumacher (Jason London) – Shoes is one of the guards who believes in the alien conspiracies. Can’t handle combat and shot himself in the foot to avoid it. But when aliens are attacking he managed to find courage to be under fire. Helps his friend Sgt. Hannah contain the situation.

The aliens at Area 51:

Patient Zero (Jed Maheu) – A morpher, meaning this alien can change his form into whoever he touches due to replicating DNA, and can repeat any words said by the target. This subject crashed 25 years ago and occasionally is let out to impersonate President Reagan. Is usually no trouble, except for the murderous killing spree Patient Zero goes on today. Suddenly impersonating Reagan makes sense…
J-Rod (VyVy Nguyen and Rob Steinberg – voice) – Alien Grey who lives on the base and helps his friends the humans communicate with the aliens and type up reports. Has telekenetic powers and the power to code computers while being afk. His entire belief system might turn out to be a lie… But at least he can probably get a high-paying coding job in Silicon Valley!
Lady Death and Little Devil (Ivan Djurovic and VyVy Nguyen) – alien monsters that are simply wild hyperpredators. Little Devil is Lady Death’s spawn. This creatures can’t be reasoned with and just blindly kill anyone they see.
Area 51
Time to die, Smurf!

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Snakehead Terror (Review)

Snakehead Terror

Snakehead Terror
Bruce Boxleitner as Sheriff Patrick James
Carol Alt as Lori Dale
William B. Davis as Doc Jenkins
Chelan Simmons as Amber
Juliana Wimbles as Jagger
Ryan McDonell as Luke
Snakehead Terror

In 2002, Northern Snakeheads were found in the wild in the Washington, DC area, in a pond near Crofton, Maryland. The Snakeheads are a non-native species with no known predators in the area, and are considered an ecological menace because they are pervasive carnivores and would decimate fish populations. Snakehead fish are not only predators that eat almost anything, but they can survive outside of water for up to a few days. The original hysteria died down after the lake was poisoned and drain, but the snakeheads have been popping up again more recently. This film plays off of the fears of the original, and turns it into the classic “Monsters Attack!” plotline familiar to Sci-Fi channel movies, as well as Science Fiction movies for the past 80 years. In fact, there are two(!) Snakehead movies running around on Sci-Fi channel, Snakehead Terror is joined by Frankenfish, which we’ll be going over next. (This film was the first part of the double feature) As can be imagined, there are many similarities between these two films. They both share properties with the tried and true formulas of the monster attacks movies, which most, if not all, of the movies produced cheaply by Sci-Fi channel give us again and again.
Snakehead Terror
In an actual neat-looking opening, news stories and newspaper clippings of the snakehead in the lake are glossed over, giving us a crash course background of information, or a refresher for those of us familiar. Then we cut to TWO YEARS LATER. A hunter and his dog (who I think is named Hunter) are in the Maryland forest, when Hunter comes across a mutilated bear. The dog Hunter sees the tail of a fish flopping away, and gives chase into the nearby lake. Old Hunter Guy (later named Ray Wilkins) follows, but he’s too old to keep up. Hunter the dog enters the lake, and is quickly chomped by something in the water. “BOOOO!!!” for the dog death! Hunter Ray Wilkins catches up to what’s left of his dog, and he’s soon chowed down upon as well.

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