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Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders

Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders


2011
Written by Steve Goldenberg
Directed by Jim Wynorski (as Sam Pepperman)

Busty Coeds vs Lusty Cheerleaders
With a Double-D for an extra dose of killing you Deadd!

The tagline for Aliens vs. Predators was “Whoever wins, we lose!” One could argue that the tagline for Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders could be “Whoever wins, we win!” Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders is another of the late night Cinemax classics that gave the network the nickname Skinimax. It’s also another feature from fab B-movie director Jim Wynorski (here directed as Sam Pepperman!) Wynorski never shines so bright as when he’s directing smut, and Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders is filled with camera tricks and creative narrative editing that you rarely see in cheaply made farce. It also makes a lot of his SyFy fare look bland by comparison.

Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders is a fun tale that’s about as realistic as those before-mentioned SyFy flicks. The Scholastic Hottie of the Year Contest is set up as some sort of reality show-styled event – but without cameras capturing all the action. Don’t worry, the film makes up for it with Angie’s narration, explaining everything as we go and even commenting upon action happening onscreen. The light-hearted tone help make BCxLC merry entertainment. I admit I don’t watch as much of Wynorski’s flicks as others, but his softcore films are often lively and witty. And believe me, we’ve seen some boring stinkers!

Busty Coeds vs Lusty Cheerleaders
Check out my levitation powers!

From the B-movie Vs. title, we know that things will be treated with a sense of humor. BCxLC lampoons the cutthroat world of reality tv shows and pageant contests by displaying all the bribing, back stabbing, and general bitterness that goes on. But because we know it’s all a fantasy, it’s okay to end things on a high note. While being a mirror, it isn’t a broken mirror, and luckily BCxLC keeps itself separated from heading into dark territory.

Visual candy includes character pages, biographies, repeated breaking of the fourth wall, picture within picture for commentary, a laugh track, flashbacks and flashsideways, and answers to what happens to our heroes after the big event. The underwater camera usage is rare itself for these low budget flicks (though I think a few older, higher budgeted productions have used it before), and it increases the quality tenfold. While many of these films can begin to blur together (both due to repeated use of actresses, sets, and even tone), anything that helps distinguish is good. If BCxLC shows up on your late night cable TV schedule and you aren’t completely tired yet, it’s worth checking out.

Busty Coeds vs Lusty Cheerleaders
Directly ripped off from Aliens vs. Predators

Angie (Angie Savage) – Our narrator and hostess for our journey into the battle between Busty Coeds and Lusty Cheerleaders. A battle that is often fought with lashed tongues, torn clothing, and panting bodies. Angie weaves a tale of deception and lies as the contestants battle it out to reign supreme…and also to get it on many many many times!
Marla Mounds (Jamie Michelle Hunter as Jaime Hunter) – Angie’s biggest competition, though she often just plays the sweet innocent girl who doesn’t seem like she’d backstab anyone…and doesn’t, unless it’s playing backstab defense against more notorious backstabbing!
Tiffany Nightsprings (Kylee Nash) – Tiffany’s dad is super rich and bribed everyone to get her where she is, but bribes only go so far…or do they???
Candice Connors (Charlie Laine) – Not the brightest of bulbs, but has a good heart. Like Marla, she often fades to the background, though her character doesn’t hang out with Angie as much as Marla does.
Miss Abby Meyers (Melessia Hayden) – Miss Meyes runs the competition and makes sure everything is above board. Which means daily bust measurements and pole dancing competitions. Like all scholastic competitions, especially the ACT!
Chet (Frankie Cullen) – One of handymen Miss Meyes hired to help out around the camp, because the gigantic camp with hardly any people in it would really have so many problems that it requires two full-time handymen… Is a killer piano player.
Bull (T.J. Cummings) – The other handyman hired. He likes Candice, at least he tells her as much.
Janet (Heather Vandeven) – Girl hired by Angie to get dirt to blackmail Dean Martin. Does an excellent job.
Tiffany’s Dad (G. Gordon Baer) – Rich father who attempts to bribe an manipulate the contest more towards his daughter’s favor.
Dean Martin (“Billy Chappell”) – Oh…that guy.
Girl in car (Glori-Anne Gilbert) – One of the two replacement judges sent by Tiffany’s father. Is amused at life, getting lost, the forest, and the very young stud she’s driving around with. Good attitude!
Guy in car (???) – This guy looks straight out of high school, but he’s a replacement judge and just ends up getting it one with Glori-Ann Gilbert in the forest instead. I have no clue who played him.
Busty Coeds vs Lusty Cheerleaders
SHHH! Don’t tell anyone the shocking ending of Busty Coeds vs. Lusty Cheerleaders!

Let the Bullets Fly (Review)

Let the Bullets Fly

aka 讓子彈飛 aka Rang zidan fei

2010
Written by Jiang Wen, Jue So-Chun, Shu Ping, Guo Jun-Li, and Wei Xiao
Directed by Jiang Wen

Let the Bullets Fly
An Eastern Western set during the 1920s warring states period of China, where greed, exploitation, and violence were all too common. But it is dark times as those where heroes emerge, heroes that don’t fit the spandex-wearing definition of the word, but heroes that are real people who come in to solve big problems. Let the Bullets Fly sets the hero loose, with his own set of morals and convictions, and he pushes back against those who would stand in the way of his freedom.
Let the Bullets Fly
Based on a book by Ma Shitu, Let the Bullets Fly features action, adventure, and revolutionary language. It is a minor power struggle against the backdrop of larger power struggles. We see how the struggles of life affect all levels, from important businessmen to government officials to the criminal underclass to the village peasants.
Let the Bullets Fly
After a train robbery, Pocky Zhang’s band of “noble” bandits con their way into an unsuspecting town posing as the new appointed governor. But the town is controlled by a ruthless businessman who is used to running things his way as the townspeople suffer. Zhang isn’t about to take crap from anyone, setting into motion a war between to different types of criminals with two radically different philosophies.
Let the Bullets Fly

“Pocky” Zhang Muzhi (Jiang Wen) – An outlaw gang leader with his own code of ethics. Pocky Zhang and his men rob only from the rich, and one such robbery sets in motion his impersonation of an appointed town governor. His gang consists of numbered members for easy signalling. Pocky’s image is of a pox-marked monster, but he’s really a handsome dude.
Boss Huang Silang (Chow Yun-Fat) – Arrogant Godfather of Goose Town who is too clever for his own good. Usually makes short work of the appointed governors, but Pocky Zhang proves to be unlike anyone he’s met before.
Governor Ma Bangde (Ge You) – The real appointed governor of Goose town, who bought the position using all the money he had. A sneaky fink who is out thought on both sides, his opponents more capable than his acts of deception.

Let the Bullets Fly

The Brainiac

The Brainiac – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 15

The Brainiac

The Infernal Brains are back in Black and White…Okay, the movie they watched is! Tars and Todd take on the Mexican horror classic The Brainiac (El Baron del Terror)! It’s the Mexican horror film with the best costume ever created in the history of cinema. And also a monster! An evil baron returns after 300 years for revenge against the descendants of the people who burned him as a heretic. Luckily for him, everyone has just one decedent who also looks exactly like their ancestor! And he kills a bunch of random people for no reason and eats brains, but revenge! The cast is a virtual mother load of Mexican cinema talent. The Brainiac is an awesome flick and we talk about it awesomely with awesomeness.

As usual, we got so many listening choices that even someone who has been trapped in a comet for 300 years can find a way: downloadable mp3, embedded flash with slideshow, embedded audio player, and iTunes feed link. So many choices, you’re head will inflate and deflate randomly!

Download the mp3 (right click, save as)

Watch in slideshow form:

Subscribe to the Infernal Brains on YouTube!

Films Discussed:
El Baron Del Terror / The Brainiac

The BrainiacThe Brainiac>

Click the graphic for Podcast Feed:

Click here for iTunes Feed

Prior Infernal Brains:
Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 1
Taiwanese Giant Monster Films Part 2
Polly Shang Kuan
Turkish Pop Cinema Part 1
Turkish Pop Cinema Part 2
Dara Singh
Infernal Brains Podcast – 07 – Insee Daeng
Infernal Brains Podcast – 08 – Worst Podcast Ever
The Mummies of Guanajuato – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 09
Jane Bond – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 10
Daigoro vs Goliath – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 11
Down the Rabbit Hole with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 12
Through the Looking Glass with Pearl Cheung Ling – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 13
Starman – Infernal Brains Podcast Episode 14

Infernal Brains Podcast

Shaolin Traitorous

Shaolin Traitorous

aka 大太監 aka Traitorous

1976
Written by Cheung San-Yee
Directed by Sung Ting-Mei

Shaolin Traitorous
In the 1970s, the most dangerous occupation in Taiwan was being Polly Shang Kuan’s father in a movie. And once again, Shaolin Traitorous involves Polly playing a character that is avenging the deaths of her parents. But, shockingly enough, Polly isn’t the focus of the flick, it’s Carter Wong as Shang Yung, who survives the massacre of his family as a child and then trains at Shaolin Temple and eventually go get revenge.

Story wise, Shaolin Traitorous is a by-the-numbers revenge flick. But the choreography makes it rise a bit above the crowd. There is an obsession with array attacks, and there are multiple scenes with many guards stacked on top of each other in a huge human fence formation. Though fun to look at, I’ve never really understood how these attacks do anything except present a bigger target. But maybe that’s the trick…
Shaolin Traitorous
Aside from the many guards stacking, if you’ve seen one of these films, you know the score. If they’re your thing, then you will enjoy the crap out of Shaolin Traitorous. If you’re just seeking some kung fu thrills, it will do the trick. But it’s not going to be a film you rave to everyone about on Twitter.
Shaolin Traitorous

Shang Yung (Carter Wong Ka-Tat) – His parents were killed when he was but a lad, and after intense Shaolin training he’s back for revenge. Luckily the guy is so evil he wasn’t killed and didn’t die of natural causes in the meanwhile. Because that would be anti-climatic! Wears his slain mother’s bracelet as a necklace.
Hsiao Yun Erh/Tso Yun Lan (Polly Shang Kuan ) – Another victom of Tin Erh Keng wiping out her entire family, whe was even adopted by him (though randomly everyone thinks she’s a dude for a while, despite no disguise at all!) Now she wants revenge for her slain family.
Tin Erh Keng (Chang Yi) – Evil jerk whose favorite hobby is slaughtering all the members of a family except a young child who will then hunt him down for revenge. Eventually that hobby comes back to have consequences. Who knew???
First Head (Sammo Hung Kam-Bo) – Guard of East Gate who has a ridiculous name and he’s evil. EVIL!!!

Shaolin Traitorous

Dragon Fury (1995)

Dragon Fury


Written and Directed by David Heavener

“Welcome to Motel 6. Do you have a reservation… TO DIE?”

So the Apocalypse happened back in 1999. I know, you probably missed it; I know I did. But it happened, and Los Angeles split from the continent by the fault line and was hit by a plague. By some strange voodoo, this resulted in the remnants of the city becoming entrenched in a mix of medieval pageantry and ninja violence.

Well, if any post-apocalyptic city is going to devolve into a bad action movie, they’re right, L.A. would be the place.

Mason (Robert Chapin) – Also known as ‘Dragon’, he saw his wife and child get brutally murdered by the evil Fullock. Cult leader Vestor also tried to control him, but Dragon was too strong! He’s normally on the run in the Post-Apocalypse until he’s tasked with traveling back in time to grab the vaccine that will stop the plague two days before the quake. Got all that?

Also, his hair is really goofy. I mean, look at that.

Milton (Chuck Loch) – Despite the fact that the notion of light bulbs continues to elude him, this chap invented a time machine! Unfortunately, his time machine is incompatible with shirts for some reason. Look, he invented time travel, he’s allowed some wiggle room.
Regina (Chona Jason) – Mason’s girlfriend. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still upset after his wife died and all, but this movie needs nudity, dammit, and someone has to provide.
Vestor (Richard Lynch) – Self proclaimed “Chief Medical Dictator”, he runs around future L.A. like he owns the place. He also tries to indoctrinate various people into his cults. He’s the bad guy here, and spends most of the film stuck in the post-apocalypse glowering like few other character actors can.
Dr. Ruth (Deborah Stambler) – The doctor who takes care of Mason when he arrives back in the hoary days of 1999. She thinks his story of traveling through time is amusing, until the shirtless assassins show up and start karate chopping shit.
Fullock (T.J. Storm) – Look, I’m not saying he’s technically playing the Terminator, but he wanders around shirtless, is practically unstoppable, doesn’t say anything, and by the end has a shotgun that he runs amuck with.

But he also knows karate. So he’s got that going for him.

Teddy Girls

Teddy Girls

aka 飛女正傳 aka Fei nu zheng zhuan

1969
Written by Patrick Lung Kong and Lam Nin-Tung
Directed by Patrick Lung Kong

Teddy Girls
Patrick Lung Kong’s work is not mainstream pop cinema. It is instead cinema touching on social and economic problems not touched by most films, and the few times the topics are, it’s clearly in the realm of exploitation cinema. The approach to the subject matter is more mature than much of the Hong Kong cinema of the time. While there were plenty of dramas involving family issues, the issues tackled in Teddy Girls trend more serious, and show more of societies effects on the problems, both on how they’re caused and by what they do to the people trapped in them. These are common themes in Patrick Lung Kong’s work.
Teddy Girls
What makes Patrick Lung Kong’s films stand out from other dramas is the strength to tackle difficult and controversial issues in a mature manner and still tell a good and entertaining story. Both as a writer and a director, Lung worked to better Hong Kong film at the same time Hong Kong cinema was suffering from a decline. Mandarin-language Shaw Brothers flicks outperformed and outclassed local Hong Kong productions, and the highly respected Union Film had shuttered its doors.

His directorial debut was in 1966 with Prince of Broadcasters, which foresaw the influence of radio in Hong Kong and became a hit at the box office. He followed that up with what is arguably his most famous and influential film, The Story of a Discharged Prisoner (1967), a tale about a former prisoner desperately trying to not get sucked back into a life of crime. It had a direct influence on John Woo’s A Better Tomorrow. Woo also must have seen (and borrowed from) Lung’s next film Window (1968), which features a blind woman and a criminal who fall in love. Next up was a look at youth culture with Teddy Girls, the film we will discuss at length below. Yesterday Today Tomorrow (1970), about a plague affecting Hong Kong, caused controversy, the heavily censored version failed at the box office. He continued on with My Beloved (1971) and the domestic drama Pei Shih (1972).
Teddy Girls
Lung dealt with social issues at large with Hong Kong Nite Life (1973) and then The Call Girls (1973), which featured the stories of five prostitutes. Lung Kong tackled the issue of nuclear disarmament before it was even on people’s radar with Hiroshima 28 (1974), and followed up with the quickly made Mitra (1976), filmed in Iran while he was showing Hiroshima 28 at a film festival. 1976 also saw the release of the sci-fi influenced Laugh In (1976) and Lina (1976). His final film was 1979’s The Fairy, the Ghost and Ah Chung, though he continued to be active in the Hong Kong cinema world through the turn of the century. His films went on to inspire the Hong Kong New Wave directors as they helped reshape Hong Kong cinema.

Most of Lung Kong’s films are hard to find in general, and with English subtitles they are exceedingly rare. Despite a HKFA retrospective his material still remains hard to find for the true Hong Kong cinema connoisseur.

Lung was not afraid to create serious films that tackled social issues in a non-exploitative manner. Patrick Lung Kong became one of the most influential directors in Hong Kong cinema due to how he helmed films like Teddy Girls. His attempts to escape the boundaries and touch on subjects usually avoided stand out sharper now, especially with the ease of availability of the other older films, you can see just how fluff a lot of them were.
Teddy Girls
What other director of the time could do a teenage girls in prison film and not make it feel dirty in the slightest, but still fill it with believable and sympathetic characters, humor and tragedy? Characters who suffer all types of bad influences while growing up, rebelling for their own reasons, reaching further tragedy due to the consequences of their original actions. These aren’t bad girls who are bad, these are girls who had the entire deck stacked against them. It’s no wonder some of them just fold and give up. Teddy Girls is never so cruel as when is is making you think things just might be all right for once.

Josephine’s character is running, running from an unhappy home life and disintegration of everything she knew. Her father’s decay and death while her mother found comfort in a new man, a man who is obviously a sleazy parasite.
Teddy Girls
Of the stories of the girls, Josephine’s is the most avoidable, she seems to be acting out more of simple teenage rebellion. But she becomes part of a system that is bigger than her, and life is a cruel thing at times. Josephine’s downfall is the biggest as she has the longest way to fall. Her character seems to have it all, but she lacks the one thing she craves, and she cannot stand it. Her life becomes destroyed, and her rage focused on a single target, the man she blames for ruining everything. And he’s not innocent, his motivations are scuzzy and he leaves Josephine’s mom in ruin.

Josephine is swept up in revenge, but she becomes her own victim, by acting out rashly and destructively. Not only does she destroy her life, she brings downfall on others. Misery is spread, the only lesson is how many ways this could have been avoided, by many people.

The only real drawback is the moral message at the end literally given by Kenneth Tsang Kong as the mouthpiece to one of the young ladies, bringing to mind flicks like Reefer Madness where a character will suddenly address the audience from behind a desk.
Teddy Girls

Josephine Hsu Yu-ching (Josephine Siao Fong-Fong) – Troubled young lady furious at her mother disrespecting her dying father by hooking up with a scumbag and then ignoring her. Causes trouble and volunteers to go to lockup, but things don’t get better.
Hsu Mei (Teresa Ha Ping) – Josephine’s mother who falls for a scumbag and then things go from bad to worse as she neglects everything including her daughter and her business’s finances.
Li Chang (Patrick Lung Kong) – Hey, it’s that scumbag I mentioned in the last two entries! Li Chang is dating Hsu Mei because she has all this sweet sweet money he can use to live the high life and drop her when she’s all used up. Josephine is not too happy about that…
Ma Pi-shan (Nancy Sit Ka-Yin) – Troubled reform school girl from a broken home life, she’s doomed from the start and things just get worse and worse.
Do Shu-yan/Mr. Rector (Kenneth Tsang Kong) – Do Shu-yan is the head of the reform school and is called Mr. Rector by the students. Cares for the girls but is forced to accept reality that many of them come from desperate situations and things can easily spiral out of control.
Li Shu-chun (Yip Ching) – Girl in detention who comes from a poor family with too many children and no money to take care of her siblings. Escapes to try to help her family.
Yang Shiao-chiao (Lydia Shum Tin-Ha) – Girl in juvie who’s a funny thief, uses her personality to befriend all of the girls but doesn’t cross the line into dangerous behavior.
Chen Li-fan (Mang Lee) – Lockup girl who talks obsessively about her boyfriend, but everyone notices that her boyfriend doesn’t come around any more. Breaks out to find out what the heck. The results are…killer! Listed as “Sussie Huang” on HKMDB though that’s not her name in these subtitles.

Teddy Girls