Coming soon to Lifetime!
[adrotate banner=”1″]Jesus isn’t just for The History Channel and movie theaters any more, now he’s coming to Lifetime, television for women, because….
uh….
Because ratings!
Darn, I was hoping Jesus would be a woman. Because that would be awesome! Or maybe Jesus is killing all his wives, like every other man on Lifetime. I’m on to you, Jesus! Just as long as you don’t meet Jesus on the internet, you should be safe. For now!
Called The One, this new feature will be from the producers of History Channel’s Hatfields & McCoys miniseries and Gene Simmons: Family Jewels, Leslie Grief. The One will document Jesus’s early life, between ages 13 and 30. If you know about Jesus, you know there isn’t much written about that time in his life. So how much is made up and how much is drawn from apocryphal sources will remain to be seen. The One is written by Frank DeJohn and David Alton Hedges, and claims to “stay true to the spirit of Jesus’ image as chronicled in The Bible.” Whatever that means.
But kudos to Leslie Grief for trying to make a prequel to the story of Jesus. Will Jesus be played by a white guy? Probably. Will I make Matrix jokes when I review The One? Probably. Will I make Jet Li jokes when I review The One? Probably.