Posts tagged "Lifetime"

Lifetime breaks out the Girl in the Bunker!

Girl in the bunker Lifetime
As long as creeps keep kidnapping women and hiding them in weird locations, Lifetime will be there to have movie event nights with both a new Original Movie plus a documentary based on the true events! It’s a double rating bonanza and this time our creep is the guy who kidnapped Elizabeth Shoaf in 2006. Girl in the Bunker is her story and will be followed by Elizabeth Shoaf: The Girl in a Bunker, where Elizabeth herself details her account! Julia Lalonde plays Elizabeth Shoaf, with ET star Henry Thomas as the kidnapper Vinson Filyaw, and Moira Kelly as Elizabeth’s mother. Girl in the Bunker is written and directed by Stephen Kemp (Who did the prior Lifetime film event Girl in the Box)

Based on the true story of Elizabeth Shoaf, who was abducted in 2006 and held captive in a hidden underground bunker. The film will be followed at 10 PM by the docu-special Elizabeth Shoaf: The Girl in a Bunker, which recounts the terrifying true story in Shoaf’s own words) While walking home from the school bus stop, a man dressed as sheriff’s deputy handcuffs Elizabeth (Lalonde) for marijuana possession and marches her deep into the woods against her protests and places her in an underground bunker. Elizabeth’s sudden disappearance sparks a massive police search with hundreds of volunteers and officers fanning through miles of dense woodland while helicopters circled overhead. At the mercy of a dangerous and psychologically unhinged captor, Vinson Filyaw (Thomas), a fugitive sexual predator, Elizabeth realizes that in order to survive, she must take matters into her own hands and gradually begins to win his trust as she plots her escape. Kelly portrays Elizabeth’s mother Madeline.

Girl in the Bunker premieres Monday, May 28th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 26, 2018 at 7:23 pm

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Mistress Hunter (Review)

Mistress Hunter

Mistress Hunter
2018
Written by Bryan Dick
Directed by Penelope Buitenhuis

Mistress Hunter
If you ever wondered what we would get if Pulp Fiction‘s Winston Wolfe was lending his skills to the Lifetime Movies-verse, then Mistress Hunter is for you! It might also be seen as Taken by way of Lifetime movies, as the Mistress Hunter has a special set of skills, namely getting revenge on cheating husbands, in that she helps gather evidence for a divorce and breaks up the cheating couple in the process. She also has a secret office, uses a fake name, and communicates with the wronged wife via randomly encountering her on the street while dressed in different costumes. That’s just the premise for the normal story before all the inevitable betrayals, twists, and murders happen! This is the kind of bonkers Lifetime stuff I love, it’s the standard betrayed by a man story on steroids with a great hook that it doesn’t lean so heavily on that the story is compromised.

Jackie (Lauralee Bell) is your typical housewife in the fancy burbs with a young daughter and a bankster husband, Karl (Martin Copping), who has an eye that has wandered all over a side chick named Beth (Chloe Brooks). Jackie gets suspicious due to Karl being very bad at covering his tracks (the ol’ “Busy at work” but not actually at work thing!) and becomes a wreck. Her friend Valerie (Lauren Plaxco) recommends to her a woman she heard of called the Mistress Hunter, who handles these situations. And then the film gets sensational!
Mistress Hunter
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - March 27, 2018 at 3:25 pm

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Drink Slay Love (Review)

Drink Slay Love

Drink Slay Love
2017
Screenplay by Eirene Donohue
Based on the novel by Sarah Beth Durst
Directed by Vanessa Parise

Drink Slay Love
A vampire novel about a vampire girl in high school that falls in love with a human, it’s Twilight in reverse! With a bunch of extra stuff thrown in to make the perfect YA fantasy novel. Combine that with a director that obviously knew the material needed to get some campy elements thanks to airing on Lifetime, and some actors delivering some neat performances (and a few skeletonizing the scenery every second they are on screen!), we get a surprisingly entertaining but incredibly cheesy flick with Drink Slay Love!

Vampire teen Pearl (Cierra Ramirez) is confident, way confident, so confident that life is but a bore as she’s so confident she’s already done it all. The invincibility of youth mixed with the actual invincibility of vampires. That all gets shattered like the mirrors that she can only vaguely see her reflection in (it’s complicated!) when she discovers she can survive in the sunshine! Sure, this happened right after a mysterious attack where she almost died but woke up fully healed at home. Suddenly a whole new world is open to her, but only her, the rest of her clan is still killable by the sun.

This coincides with the King of the Vampires deciding the family will host the 100 year huge party where everyone feeds the King their blood and then drinks his blood, which means everyone serves the King. Which isn’t all sorts of screwed up at all. To feed all the vampires coming for the party, Pearl is sent to school to recruit a whole host of victims, as vampires must be invited into houses and high school means she’ll be invited to slumber parties. Or would be if she wasn’t a goth girl. We all know she’s going to soon fall in love and the script gets flipped.
Drink Slay Love
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Posted by Tars Tarkas - November 22, 2017 at 8:09 pm

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The Bride He Bought Online (Review)

The Bride He Bought Online

aka Flirting with Madness
The Bride He Bought Online Lifetime
2015
Written and directed by Christine Conradt

The Bride He Bought Online Lifetime

Good thing he never turned around to notice he was obviously being filmed


PRANKED!!! You got so pranked!

Lifetime brings us an amazing tale of pranking gone wrong, internet danger, guy who goes nuts, and teen girls stuffed in trunks! The Bride He Bought Online is pure, concentrated Lifetime amazement that raises the bar for their original movies. It’s not really that much of a surprise, for not only is this a Lifetime movies superstar writer Christine Conradt script, she also directs it! Conradt clearly knew she had to up her game, and blasted past that goal and then some! We can only hope this is the beginning of a new level of awesome flicks!

The Bride He Bought Online Lifetime

How dare you have a basic sense of human decency, what’s wrong with you???


It’s high school, and our trio of main girls are concerned with what everyone in high school is concerned with, views on their secret pranking website! Wait, huh? We’ve entered the world of internet prank videos, a genre that has flourished on YouTube despite the fact most of them are terrible and/or totally fake. But, sure, whatever you want to watch is your business, TarsTarkas.NET can’t really judge based on some of the films we’ve reviewed!

Avery Lindstrom (Anne Winters) is the nice girl who is so done with pranking and is thinking about her future, she also serves as a bookend narrator. Mandy Kim (Lauren Gaw) once was overweight and unpopular, but is now part of the cool squad and desperately wants to stay there. She is starting to have some moral objections to the non-stop pranks, but let’s Kaley push her around. Kaley Mack (Annalisa Cochrane) is attractive, popular, and is the driving force behind the secret prank website. She’s the reason the other two are popular at school, and schemes up the latest and greatest pranks in her quest for social media love.

“We need content. Content equals followers.” – Mandy
“And followers equals?” -Avery
“Everything!” – Kaley

The Bride He Bought Online Lifetime

Look, I’m beyond pranks now that I’m wearing a beanie


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Posted by Tars Tarkas - March 20, 2017 at 7:58 am

Categories: Movie Reviews, Ugly   Tags: , , , , , , ,

Double Mommy quadruples down on Lifetime!

Double Mommy lifetime

I searched #18rapist on Twitter and it had no hits as of time of this posting, but…


A small while ago, Lifetime hit us with the hilariously titled Double Daddy, about a guy who knocked up two girls, one of which was troubled but also the character you started cheering for even when she became a murderer. In that spirit they are back with Double Mommy, but, no, it’s not about a girl who knocks up two other girls, it’s about a girl who is pregnant with twins, except they each have a different dad. Also one of the dads raped her! Wait, what??? Also the clear his name of being a rapist, he’s going to kill the pregnant girl? This is ridiculous, this is crazy, this is Lifetime!

After taking a break for the summer before their senior year, Ryan and Jess rekindle their relationship, and find out that Jess is pregnant with twins. When Ryan’s mother demands a paternity test, they find out that Ryan is only the father of one baby… The other father is Ryan’s best friend Bryce, who Ryan discovers date raped Jess at a party over the summer. With college recruiters and an overbearing father looming over Bryce’s head, he will stop at nothing to make sure that he clears his name–even if it means getting rid of Jess and her babies!

Double Mommy stars Morgan Obenreder (Mormon for a Month), Mark Grossman (Break-Up Nightmare), Griffin Freeman (Sugar Daddies), David Starzyk (Bring It On: Fight to the Finish), Bruce Boxleitner (Snakehead Terror) It’s written by veteran double drama writer Barbara Kymlicka (Double Daddy!) and directed by Doug Campbell (Stalked by My Doctor)

Double Mommy premieres Saturday, March 18th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - March 16, 2017 at 11:36 pm

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Mommy’s Little Boy takes more child drama to Lifetime!

Mommy's Little Boy Lifetime

I just wanted to love snow and talk about snow, and now I’m trapped in a Lifetime movie!


It’s Mommy Madness Marathon for Lifetime, with two movies with “Mommy” in the title for lots of Lifetime fun. Besides Mommy’s Little Boy, we also have Double Mommy (hence why they’re not calling it a Double Mommy Weekend!), and both of these films are sequels in spirit to prior Lifetime movies with similar titles and creative teams! Mommy’s Little Boy gets our interest because it’s written by Christine Conradt, who writes so many awesome Lifetime flicks that I can’t even begin to list them all! She’s the person we write about the most when it comes to Lifetime movies, and for good reason, because she’s awesome! This means Mommy’s Little Boy will be packed with all sorts of twists and turns and crazy craziness that makes Lifetime original movies so amazing and unique!

When ten-year-old Eric’s older brother Max drowns, Eric’s mother Briana takes the death of her favorite son especially hard and spirals into a dark depression. Eric, already haunted guilt over not saving Max and desperate for attention, begins spending time with the family of his baseball coach Michael. When, in a drunken rage, Briana commits a fatal crime, she decides to take Eric and hit the road. Discovering he’s about to be ripped away from his surrogate family, Eric takes a stand against his mother and enlists the help of the person he trusts most–Michael.

Mommy’s Little Boy stars Bree Williamson (Sins of the Preacher ), Peter DaCunha (Home Alone: The Holiday Heist), Paul Popowic (Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return), Sebastian Pigott (Roxy Hunter and the Mystery of the Moody Ghost), Natalie Lisinska (Sorority Surrogate), and Allison Graham (A Nanny’s Secret) It’s directed by Curtis Crawford (all the Lifetime _____ they Met Online movies)

Mommy’s Little Boy premieres Saturday, March 18th on Lifetime!

via Lifetime

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Posted by Tars Tarkas -  at 9:40 pm

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