Battle Beast Files – Series 2, Part 2

Who are the Battle Beasts? Let’s get to know each and every one personally!
Series 2, Part II!

Number: 41
Name: Run Amuk Duck
Japanese Name: Smile Duck
Ruler of Country: Emperor of Tel Es Sawan
Position: Amphibious Offensive Combatant
Weapon Name: Smilon (Golden Mace/Axe)
Affiliation: Autobot
Series: 2
Species: Duck (Yellow w/ Light Blue Armor)
Smile Duck or Run Amuk Duck? Both names are pretty keen. Duck isn’t so bad himself, with one hand replaced with a slicing blade that looks like one of the most dangerous weapons in the Beast world. Duck’s ability to fight on land, air, and water is a triple threat, without the snakes. Duck’s ability to smile in the face of danger is an added bonus that improves moral. Duck is usually the joker of the group, providing much needed breaks of hilarity that help crack the monotonous cruelty of war. Smile Duck’s psychoanalysis is troubling, and leading Beast Psychologists think that Smile Duck will one day have a mental collapse and be brought down by extreme depression. At that time, he has the name Sad Duck waiting for him. Duck’s weapon is a crazed combination of a mace and an axe, with plenty of extra parts to confuse the enemy. No one knows that one of those parts is actually a fife, which Duck plays during his solitary reflection time.
Number: 42
Name: Miner Mole
Japanese Name: Underground
Ruler of Country: King of Loze
Position: Underground Offensive Combatant
Weapon Name: Ungrinder (Golden Blunt Mech-Glaive)
Affiliation: Autobot
Series: 2
Species: Mole (Lavender w/ Purple Armor)
A mole in the hole is worth two in the bush. Wait, that’s not right… Underground is a cool name as well, we’re finally having a run of them. This Mole is available in two armor colors, thanks to an obvious paint change. In addition to this purple form, there is a form with black armor. The Black Armor is supposed to be the rare version, but it’s the version I had for the longest time until I located a Purple Mole. We can assume that these two are brothers. Twins, even. The Mole family celebrated their birth with great celebration, as mole twins are a rare occurrence. Because of their rarity, they were targeted for theft by Decepticon-allied Beasts. Both Miner Moles had to fight for their lives when but children, after their underground tunnel was raided by the evil Gopher Clan. Soon the twins turned the Gophers into Greasy, Grimy Gopher Guts. They’ve since moved on to defending Planet Beast from it’s enemies. Purple Mole is noted for his love of soap carving.
Number: 42
Name: The Other Miner Mole
Japanese Name: The Other Underground
Ruler of Country: The Other King of Loze
Position: Underground Offensive Combatant
Weapon Name: Ungrinder (Golden Blunt Mech-Glaive)
Affiliation: Autobot
Series: 2
Species: Mole (Lavender w/ Black Armor)
The second mole in the bush, The Other Miner Mole is Underground wearing his new black costume. Thanks to a paint variation, we now need two copies of Mole to be completists. Black Underground isn’t a goth version of Mole, though that would have been odd. He’s need some more mascara and paler skin, maybe more leather straps. The twin of Purple Mole, Black Mole is like his brother, an enemy of the Gopher Clan and staunch defenders of Planet Beast. Mole’s clamp arm is handy in doing plumbing work back in the Castle Loze. Fast Fact: Castle Loze is located underground, because it’s all Moles! Neither of these two paint variations look like the one on the poster, which is very very odd. Black Mole is noted for his love of wood carving.
Number: 43
Name: Cutthroat Cuttlefish
Japanese Name: Cuttledeep
Ruler of Country: Emperor of North Yutoranta
Position: Deep-Sea Demolition Soldier
Weapon Name: Dream Spear (Golden Two-Headed Short Spear)
Affiliation: Decepticon
Series: 2
Species: Cuttlefish (White w/ Gray Armor)
One of the baddies in the Blackthorne Comic Series, and one of my favorite Beasts! Described in the comics as “a wishy-washy whiner. His strong suit is switching sides in the middle of a fight, and changing loyalties at the drop of a hat.” This plays out when he joins Ruhin after he appears, and Ruhin then turns him into a stone statue. I guess that’s the end of Cutthroat Cuttlefish in the comics. Since Ruhin can turn Beasts to stone, why didn’t he just turn his enemies to stone? Maybe he could only turn his followers. Anyway, Cutthroat was called “Squid” growing up, because that’s what he was to us. Cutthroat also had a problem with his arms breaking, both copies I have of him have limb casualties. One of those casualties was painted green, had a shell glued to his back, and went by the name “Nautilus” until the glue wore off and the shell vanished. Still, Cutthroat was just a neat looking guy. His arm that is replaced by a spear (or an explosive tipped one if you buy the Blackthorne Bio) was also a nice touch. Cutthroat rules the country of North Yutoranta, the Yutoranta known for it’s great cuisine and tree-sized mushrooms. These mushrooms cause you to hallucinate, and tripping on the ‘shrooms is why Cutthroat cut off his own arm, as it had grown a mouth and was attempting to eat him, or so he thought.
Number: 44
Name: Eager Beaver
Japanese Name: Bebop (or Beavup)
Ruler of Country: Emperor of Aluchian
Position: Amphibious Reconnaissance Unit
Weapon Name: Saw Beat (Golden Sawtooth Sword)
Affiliation: Autobot
Series: 2
Species: Beaver (Yellow w/ Brown Armor)
Eager Beaver is one of the good ones. He’s cool looking, has a cool looking weapon, and from his Japanese names it looks like they were trying to make him into the Jazz or Blaster of the Battle Beasts. He spends all his time listening to cool tunes and breakdancing, when he’s not building dams, spying on the enemy, or splashing his tail on the water to warn of danger. Eager Beaver will not wait to fight the enemy, he makes the enemy fight him, whether they are ready or not. The first thing the enemy usually says is “A yellow beaver?” right before they get some buck teeth in their behind. Beaver then does some dance-flip moves against his opponents, including the ultra-powerful “Electric Beavaloo.” Eager Beaver is the Beast you send when you want to send a message to the enemy, that message being “You Got Served!”
Number: 45
Name: Slasher Seahorse
Japanese Name: Junior Dragon
Ruler of Country: Emperor of Agos
Position: Underwater Demolition Soldier
Weapon Name: Screw Spinner (Golden Short Bent Trident)
Affiliation: Decepticon
Series: 2
Species: Seahorse (Brown w/ Light Blue Armor)
Seahorse, or Junior Dragon, lives under the sea. There’ll be no accusations, just friendly crustaceans under the sea! Well, from the list so far, most of these crustaceans aren’t that friendly. In fact, they all seem evil. Is anyone in the water a good guy? Have you noticed that the Decepticon Beasts have a Sea Mine “Explosives” Soldier, a Deep-Sea Demolition Soldier, and an Underwater Demolition Soldier? That’s a lot of underwater blowing up. Planet Beast must be full of lakes and oceans that explode constantly due to the large amount of explosive devices inside. It’s probably a rare day when bodies of water aren’t exploding. Junior Dragon is the son of Senior Dragon, a Legendary Beast who once killed 19 Beasts before breakfast. Junior Dragon has only killed three Beasts before breakfast, and it was more like brunch, and they were quite old Beasts who may have died from old age, and they might not really be dead. But he’s trying!
Number: 46
Name: Knight Owl
Japanese Name: Nightowl
Ruler of Country: King of Agos
Position: Night Warfare Commander
Weapon Name: Night Saber (Golden Fleur-de-lis Shortsword)
Affiliation: Decepticon
Series: 2
Species: Owl (Brown w/ Blue Armor)
Knight Owl is famous for being one of the Good Guys in the Blackthrone comic. He’s a wild and crazy guy, as they wanted to go total opposite from the “wise old owl” stereotype. It looks like Japan was feeling that as well, but they made him a villain who lead night assaults upon the forces of good. Using his cybernetic eye, Owl sweeps over the battle field and strikes where he can. Knight Owl got his eye in a fight with the Borg, both him and Blitzkrieg Bat we captured and there was assimilation attempts, Borg components attached, some battling, and escape, and lasting cybernetic eyes. Both Owl and Bat were taken because they were the only ones up that night flying in the air. Knight Owl forged his sword out of the melted down Borg components he took off of his body as he was healing. Renamed the Night Saber, it adapts to his opponents’ attacks and has become one of the deadliest weapons on Planet Beast. Knight Owl is now a hero, but his dark Borg past still haunts him, unlike Bat who has wiped his mind from the memories. Knight Owl thinks that he might one day turn back to the path of evil, and has prepared plans for a suicide attack to go down in a blaze of glory were that to happen. Let’s hope the sun always shines on Nightowl.
Number: 47
Name: Hunchback Camel
Japanese Name: Yellow Camelus
Ruler of Country: King of Tel Es Sawan
Position: Transportation Staff Officer
Weapon Name: Airnizer (Golden Cactus-Leaf-Shaped Club)
Affiliation: Autobot
Series: 2
Species: Camel (Tan w/ Orange Armor)
Let’s hear it for Camel! Camel! He’s Yellow! He’s a camel! Give him a hand! Someone? Anyone? No one likes Camel. So sad. Camel didn’t do anything wrong, except be a camel. That’s not really a crime, but compared to the many awesome Beasts out there, being a camel isn’t the cream of the crop. It isn’t even close to cream. There is no cream. Camels spit, so maybe Hunchback should have spitting powers. Sadly, his job is Transportation Staff Officer, which means that people ride on his back. How demeaning is that? Camel gets no respect. I say, Camel should be respected! Look at his weapon! It’s a cactus leaf on a stick! How cool is that? Very cool. Camel also has the best defense against the horde of evil water Beast, he can live in the desert!
Number: 48
Name: Pillaging Polar Bear
Japanese Name: Polar Battle Bear
Ruler of Country: King of North Yutoranta
Position: Ice Field Combat Unit
Weapon Name: Polar Freezer (Golden Crescent Axe)
Affiliation: Autobot
Series: 2
Species: Bear (White Polar w/ Baby Blue Armor)
Oh, come on! The Heck this guy looks like a freaking Polar Bear! He’s a Llama, and you know it! No one thinks this goon is a Polar Bear! Polar Bears aren’t that streamlined! Where’s the black parts that make him look like an actual bear? This is a lie. A dirty, dirty Battle Beast LIE! Not only that, “Polar Bear” doesn’t even have a number on his body, only his weapon is numbered. “Polar Bear” is the only Beast without a number on his body. Because he’s not a real polar bear! He’s a Llama who got lost, then lied to the military recruiters when they came by so he could get into the army. Was life under the Aztecs that cruel? I guess it was. He’s rather live in the arctic than be ritually sacrificed. well, me too. Good thing I don’t suck as much as “Polar Bear” does. You are a Llama. Llama llama llama.
Number: 49
Name: Flying Attacker
Japanese Name: Squire Squirrel
Ruler of Country: Emperor of Hariso
Position: Land and Air Offensive Unit
Weapon Name: Musasa Beamer (Golden Scimitar)
Affiliation: Autobot
Series: 2
Species: Flying Squirrel (Yellow w/ Blue Armor)
Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a Plane! It’s…a squirrel? Oh, that’s right, some squirrels fly. Like this one, Squire Squirrel. Suire Squirrel likes to fly around and drop bombs on the enemy, which doesn’t mean what you think it does, you dirty minded pervert! Get out of the gutter and get into Battle Beasts! Flying Attacker is not a name, but a description. What a lame name. That would be like if my name was “Internet Writer”. Totally lame. At least he has the Musasa Beamer, which has the cool “Musasa” name. Musasa is like Mufasa, so it’s cool. Mufasa! I mean, Musasa! Take that, Hyenas! This is all well and good, until Squire Squirrel was killed by his brother Scar Squirrel, who took over the Squirrel Pride. Luckily, Swiny Boar, Marauding MeerKat, and Simba Squirrel returned to defeat him. Disney made a movie out of it, but changed a few details. Namely, Swiny Boar doesn’t eat bugs, he eats mud.
Number: 50
Name: Saber Sword Tiger
Japanese Name: Platinum Tiger
Ruler of Country: King of Hariso
Position: Honor Combatant
Weapon Name: Saber Sword (Golden Fencing Sword)
Affiliation: Autobot
Series: 2
Species: Saber-toothed Tiger (Yellow w/ Light Blue Armor)
Saber Sword Tiger is the first of a kind, the Beast who is an extinct animal. In Battle Beast Lore, the Saber Sword Tigers were the Royal Guards for the Lion Royal Family, and Platinum Tiger was imprisoned in a Holography Mirror as he tried to call for help from the Autobots. He even has a special holographic card, that came packaged with Triple Threat Snake (in Japan only.) Armed with a fencing sword, he looks like a danger. You can see why he was a guard in the Royal Family. After finally being freed, Saber Sword Tiger joined the Autobot Beasts and helped save Planet Beast. Currently, Saber Sword Tiger is leading an expedition into the jungles of Hogland to search for the legendary Stoned Pig. He likes strawberries.
Number: 51
Name: Bludgeoning Bulldog
Japanese Name: Bullorn
Ruler of Country: King of Madora
Position: Sergeant
Weapon Name: Bullstick (Golden Cane)
Affiliation: Autobot
Series: 2
Species: Bulldog (Brown w/ Black Armor)
Bulldog has a cane, so he got a lot of “Old Bulldog” jokes and took on a persona like Ironhide from the Transformers, and eventually Kup. According to his position, he’s a Sergeant, which means he whips the troops into shape. Imagine him like R. Lee Ermey, yelling at his troops “We keep Beast Heaven packed with fresh souls!” and “I’m going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world.” On captured Beasts “What is your major malfunction, numbnuts?” That’s what any good Battle Beast cartoon needs.
Number: 52
Name: Pew-trid Skunk
Japanese Name: Ultragas
Ruler of Country: Emperor of Loze
Position: Construction Soldier
Weapon Name: Air-Changer (Golden Curved Scimitar)
Affiliation: Decepticon
Series: 2
Species: Skunk (Purple w/ Black Armor)
The Battle Beasts answer to Stinkor, Skunk is unfortunately not made with special smelly plastic, so he doesn’t have a bad smell. Skunk himself is armed with a gasmask and some weird tubs sticking out of the tops of his arms. He looks like some sort of psychotic Goth all clubbed up. His Japanese name is the terrible Ultragas, which makes you think of things besides Skunk shooting poison gas from his rear. Wait, yes it does, just not in that way. Skunk is a messed up individual, living a solitary life as he mixes poison gases together to dispense on his enemies. His enemies despise him. His allies avoid him. He has no family, no friends, no nothing, except his gas. Precious, precious gas. What the heck is a “Construction Soldier” anyway? Does he attack buildings under construction? Does he build stuff on the battlefield, an odd job for a poison gas specialist? This is heading to a disturbing area, so let’s move on to Series Three…
Series 2, Part ISeries 3, Part I

Special Thanks:
White Leo’s Site
Master List (Aratak’s Plastic Warriors)

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Written by Tars Tarkas

Tars Tarkas

Runs this joint!