Michael Bay steals the Back to the Future Part 2 plot for found footage flick Almanac!

Biff Tannen Pleasure paradise

Or maybe it’s an “homage”…. By homage I mean outright theft and this is ridiculous! But probably not sue-worthy, it’s just inviting everyone ever who watches it to talk about how it stole the plot and not judge the movie on it’s own merits. Basically he’s sacrificed any potential future for the film for the sake of publicity. Almanac doesn’t rest on an established franchise, so perhaps they are nervous that they can recoup their investment. Though it is a found footage flick and they don’t cost much to make, so perhaps not. In any event, I don’t like it, but I’m talking about it, which makes me part of the problem! Damn me!

Michael Bay is only producing Almanac, the director is Dean Israelite, who is totally not making his directorial debut because he’s the cousin of Battle: LA and TMNT director Jonathan Liebesman. It’s totally on merit. Now where is my giant winking sign…

Andrew Stark and Jason Pagan wrote the script, and let’s just see how many things inadvertently show up in Almanac that are also in Back to the Future 2 when it comes out in 2013…

The lead character, David, is a smart kid in high school but he’s finding dating hard. He’s drawn to Jessie, the typical popular girl, and decides that he’ll try to attract her by winning the science fair, and the college scholarship that will net him. Bless.

David’s late father was a scientist and so he looks through his Dad’s stuff for ideas – and he finds two things of note. One gives him the ability to time travel… and the other is a sports almanac. Anybody who has seen Back to the Future 2 can guess where this is headed.

Two more of David’s friends travel back through time with him to abuse the almanac. Timelines get messed with, we learn more about David’s Dad’s research and there’s apparently a couple of pretty big twists… one of which I was able to guess, in fact.

BleedingCool has more if you must hurt yourself that way…

Ouija movie can't be killed, stop trying to contact it via Ouija…

Did you see what I did with that dumb article title? Hasbro’s Ouija movie is back from the dead. Previously, Universal Pictures dumped all their upcoming Hasbro films, but has now agreed to go forward with Ouija thanks to it transforming into a low-budget horror film! McG was to direct a $100 million version (how in the freaking frak??) Don’t worry, another expensive director, Michael Bay, is still sort of attached as his Platinum Dunes company is co-producing. Besides Hasbro, the third co-production company is Blumhouse Productions/Jason Blum, the guy who brought us Paranormal Activity. Which had a Ouija board in it. Spooky. So spooky, it’s time to break out the Ouija board and ask the great Al-Shabbathazzar how badly the Ouija movie will be spelled on theater marquis! We need to sacrifice 13 worms before we make contact, so I’ll be right back…

via Deadline
pic via Crazy-cartoon-nut

Demon Cat

I demand blood sacrifices or the Ouija movie will be terrible!

Transformers (Review)


Directed by Michael Bay

Transformers were the pinnacle of 1980’s toys. They had classic characters and endure to this day. Transformers are among the first toys I remember getting for Christmas (of 1984, where I got toys including Megatron) and are toys I still have stored away in the attic. Even my favorite toy line (Battle Beasts) are just a spin-off of Transformers. I saw the original movie in the theaters and cried when Optimus Prime died. So to say I was interested when it was announced there would be a live action film is an understatement to say the least.

However, the interest soon waned when I found out Michael Bay was to be the director. Problems also arose when preview art of the Transformers showed them to be very ugly-looking. I realize this is not the Generation 1 line but a new universe. I don’t expect tape-recorder robots. I do expect writing that matched Beast Wars at the least, not writing that pales in comparison to the original cartoon. A cartoon where and entire episode revolved around a girl falling in love with Powerglide (who subsequently beat her around a bit). How hard can it be to write something that doesn’t suck? All you had to do was just be average and let the robots do the rest. Instead, we have 2 ½ hours (way too long) where robots don’t do much of anything until the last 25 minutes. And also the robots pee. Seriously. It’s a disgrace. Not to Transformers, but to audiences everywhere. The movie thinks the audience is stupid. The army regularly endangers civilians for no reason. There is a plot about hackers. Every piece of modern technology came from a frozen robot. The sun seems to be stuck at the edge of the horizon (or setting every five minutes) giving every shot an orange glow. More Transformers are killed by humans than Transformers. The robot fight sequences are cool, but were needed earlier. The movie is more than meets the eye, more terrible than the eye could ever meet.

Continue reading