Posts tagged "Remakes are stupid"

More Babysitter Adventures on Disney Channel!

Adventures in Babysitting Thor Vincent D'Onofrio

Does this mean I’ll be in Avengers 3?


Disney is dropping some of the stars of Girl Meets World into their own Disney Channel Original Movies. Now, this is totally standard Disney procedure to showcase their own stars in their own movies. What is interesting is instead of the soft remakes they’ve had for some of their recent films that suspiciously mirrored the plots of more famous films, one of these new original movies is a straight up remake!

Further Adventures in Babysitting is “inspired” by the original Adventures in Babysitting, in that it features almost the exact same plot. Except now there are two competing babysitters, played by Sabrina Carpenter and Sofia Carson, who chase after a missing child through the city. John Schultz directs. No word on if Thor will be a plot point again, though I don’t see why he couldn’t be, because Disney owns Marvel outright. Heck, they might even get Chris Hemsworth to pop up! Or even Vincent D’Onofrio to reprise his role as the guy who looks like Thor. Or maybe even as Kingpin, since that’s who his Marvel character is. Imagine a kid who idolized the Kingpin. Now that’s a kid who would escape from babysitters!

Rowan Blanchard will start in Invisible Sister, based on the book My Invisible Sister by Beatrice Colin and Sara Pinto. Paris Berelc costars. The plot centers on a girl (Blanchard) who accidentally turns her popular big sister invisible, and then hijinks ensue. Invisible hijinks! Paul Hoen directs, and Jessica O’Toole & Amy Rardin and Matt Eddy & Billy Eddy wrote the script.

There are no premiere dates set yet, but I would expect Invisible Sister in late 2015 and Further Adventures in Babysitting in early 2016.

via Deadline

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - January 11, 2015 at 7:09 pm

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DTV Sequel Madness! – Jarhead, Sniper, Company of Heroes, Tremors

Jarhead 2 banner
Open your faceholes to prepare for the arrival of a whole batch of direct to video sequels that will fill all your senses with wonderment on how all this DTV stuff is getting greenlighted in 2014, long after video store closures have eliminated one of the paths for these films to get profitable. But greenlit they are, so good for them, and let’s just go over the latest group of films.

Not only is there a fifth Sniper film coming out, but also a second Jarhead film, a second Company of Heroes movie, and even a Tremors reboot! All from the same director, Don Michael Paul! You might remember Don Michael Paul as the director of Who’s Your Caddy? or Taken: The Search for Sophie Parker, and now he’s doing a whole host of films!

Jarhead 2: Field Of Firecomes out August 19th on DVD. Check the trailer here.

Battle-scarred and disillusioned by the war, Corporal Chris Merriman is put in charge of a unit whose next mission is to resupply a remote outpost on the edge of Taliban-controlled territory. While driving through the hostile Helmand province, a Navy SEAL flags down their convoy and enlists the unit on an operation of international importance: they must help an Afghan woman famous for her defiance of the Taliban escape the country. Without tanks or air support, Merriman and his team will need all the courage and firepower they can muster to fight their way across the war-torn country and shepherd the woman to safety.

Sniper: Legacy has Tom Berenger and Dennis Haysbert both appear. Berenger starred in the first three Sniper films, and in the fourth, his character’s son was the lead. They team up for this installment. It comes out September 30th

A rogue gunman is assassinating high-ranking military officers one by one. When Gunnery Sgt. Brandon Beckett is informed his father, legendary shooter Thomas Beckett has been killed, Brandon springs into action to take out the perpetrator. But when his father rescues him from an ambush, Brandon realizes he’s a pawn being played by his superiors to draw out the killer. It’s up to the two men, bound by blood, to bring an end to the carnage.

Company Of Heroes: The Fourth Reich is currently shooting in Bulgaria, it’s the sequel to 2013’s Company of Heroes, based on the video game series. In that they have the same title, and that’s about it. No solid information on this one yet, only that it is filming.

Finally, Don Michael Paul is headed to South Africa to begin filming another Tremors film, which he calls a reboot. Whether it is a reboot or just a sequel with a whole new cast, no one knows.
UPDATE: Moviehole has learned that the Tremors film is in fact another sequel, with Michael Gross returning as Burt Gummer! This is great news, as Gummer is awesome and is the heart of the Tremors franchise!

The main source for the Tremors information isa mysteriously deleted post quoted below:

Hey all you “Company Of Heroes” fans, I’m back in Sofia, Bulgaria getting ready to do another in the series. This one’s called “The Fourth Reich” and it promises to have more of the same only better. For all you out there that hated on the first movie, I’m sorry. But I took all your comments to heart and will try to improve on some of the things you were unhappy with. I am always fighting budgetary issues, but I promise to try and give you what you like and minemalize what you did not. Casting is underway, no news on that front, but I hope to deliver some great actors and maybe even a cool name or two. It’s good to be back and working!!! Keep an eye out for “Jarhead 2: Field Of Fire.” Universal is sending it your way on August 19, 2014, and then comes “Sniper: Legacy” from Sony on September 30. My friend Tom Berenger and Dennis Haysbert showed up for Sniper and made the movie a great experience. Great actors and good people, too. After I finish up “Company Of Heroes: The Fourth Reich” I will be headed to Johannesburg, South Africa to reboot the “Tremors” franchise for Universal. Big year ahead and I’m excited to keep it going with the support of all you genre movie lovers out there. Keep sending me your thoughts. They are always welcome, even the critical ones. I’ll shout out to you all soon. Stay tuned!!!!!

If anything else surfaces, we’ll let you know!

Tremors news originally found by JoBlo
image via

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 30, 2014 at 11:56 am

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Manimal lives again…again!

Manimal Dr. Jonathan Chase

A future where apes have evolved from Manimals???


Looks like that long-rumored Manimal movie has become a reality thanks to Will Ferrell and Adam McKay adopting it as their own! As a long-time Manimal fan (I have vivid memories of watching it as a small child and then being saddened when it vanished forever), I look forward to this news with great joy in my heart. You might say I am an Manimaniac!

If you need some quick Manimal facts, read on: Professor Jonathan Chase has learned the secret technique of transforming into any animal he wants, and uses this power to fight crime. He most often transforms from man to a hawk or a panther (as those were the two makeup effects they did full transformation work with), but would often become other animals. I remember one episode he became a bull just so he could knock a door open. Manimal lasted 8 whole episodes and then vanished into the night, never to be seen again except via jokes on MST3K. Oh, and also the episode of Night Man that Manimal guest starred on. Which was awesome! Because: Manimal!

Another fact about Night Man – the show had a tie-in Marvel comic, which resulted in Night Man wandering around in the Marvel Universe. Which since he met Manimal means Manimal is part of the Marvel Universe! Maybe Manimal can join the Avengers! Even more awesome, Manimal and Automan take place in the same universe, because Manimal and Automan each had an identical scene take place in one of their episodes, and both were Glen A. Larson productions! Could Night Man and Automan show up in Manimal? What about other Glen A. Larson productions, like Knight Rider or B. J. and the Bear? Manimal could even become the Bear (who is a chimp!)

Needless to say, there is a whole world of potential here, and it will be hilarious, so I give this the Manimaniac Seal of Approval, which means I turn into an actual seal.

via Deadline

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - July 24, 2014 at 3:07 pm

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Spring Breakers 2 and Maniac Cop remake announced

Spring Breakers was the best film of 2013, so of course it’s going to get a terrible-sounding sequel minus Harmony Korine’s involvement. That’s just life’s way of destroying everything you love. Wild Bunch is the production company that made the announcement of Spring Breakers 2 along with a whole slate of films, part of which will have production details released during Cannes. As a testament to this being internet movie news, no one cares about Abdellatif Kechiche’s The Real Wound, Arnaud Desplechin’s Three Memories of Childhood, or Abel Ferrara’s Welcome to New York, because none of those films will allow sites to post pictures of bikini-clad Disney stars for that extra pageviews juice. I also fully admit that’s what I’m doing, because I’m not only ripping open the curtain the man is hiding behind, but also the man behind the curtain!

Spring Breakers: The Second Coming will feature the Spring Breakers battling an extreme militant Christian sect that attempts to convert them. Yes, this sounds like some sort of Lifetime movie, but stay with me here. Irvine Welsh wrote the script and Jonus Akerlund (Spun) is directing. Spun didn’t suck, but it wasn’t insanely brilliant like Korine’s films, so expect something interesting but just a hollow imitation. No word on returning cast members beyond declaring it not a direct sequel, but this is the kind of concept you don’t need them to return, you can easily get a whole new pack of Disney stars fresh off sitcoms and looking to foster a more mature image in an attempt to get more serious adult roles.

As for the Maniac Cop remake, it’s got a script finished by Ed Brubaker (Captain America 2) and is being produced by Nicolas Winding Refn (along with original director William Lustig), which makes me waaaaaay more excited than the Spring Breakers 2 news. The director will be announced at Cannes.

Wild Bunch also announced a new untitled Paul Verhoeven film, an adaptation of the book Oh! by Philippe Djian, a rape and revenge story. Verhoeven returning I am excited about, rape and revenge I’m not, almost everything possible with that scenario was done by all those direct to video films in the 80s and 90s.

Other films announced include Gaspar Noé’s Love and Isao Takahata’s The Tale Of The Princess.

Spring break forever!

via ScreenDaily

Spring Breakers

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - May 6, 2014 at 9:42 am

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Cat-it-tude Links!

Cat it tude forever 21
Above is a shirt I tried unsuccessfully to get my wife to buy. And below are a bunch of links I’ll successfully get you to click on, along with some random movie news that didn’t warrant their own updates.

**Fist of B-List meets Angelfist!

**Derek Yee Tung-Sing (爾冬陞) has begun work on his next director’s gig, a 3D film called The Sword Master (三少爺的劍), which is written by Tsui Hark! The Sword Master is about a retired master swordsman who returns to the martial world to try to settle a dispute with his longtime nemesis. It will star Lin Gengxin (林更新), Peter Ho (何卓榮) Jiang Yiyan (江一燕) and Jiang Mengjie (蔣夢婕). The lack of big name stars was apparently controversial, which caused Derek Yee to say “If a collaboration between Tsui Hark and I still need big stars to get you to waste your time and spend your money on a ticket, then we might as well pack up, go home, drink whiskey and shoot the breeze.”

**Pre-Code.com meets The Man From Monterey!

**The teaser trailer is out for High Heels (하이힐). The film stars Cha Seung-Won (차승원) as Detective Ji-Wook, who solves violent crimes and also desires to become a woman. The film will costar Esom (이솜) as mysterious woman Jang-Mi, and Oh Jung-Se (오정세) as Heo-Gon, who didn’t get a character description in English. High Heels is directed by Jang Jin (장진), who did the classic Guns and Talks and the more recent The Quiz Show Scandal .

**beyondasiaphilia finds That Demon Within!

**Have a nice list of the 100 best Mainland Chinese films to argue about!

**The Film Fiend is drafted into Frankenstein’s Army!

**Five cool Bengali directors

**Teleport City meets the 13 ghosts of Golgo-13!

**An Evening With Jim Henson and Frank Oz – July 1989 at the Puppeteers of America

**Jeremy Blitz feels that Black Torment!

**Newsreel archive British Pathé just released 85,000 films onto YouTube! Holy crap!

**The Vern watches Shorts!

**Reminder that Kate Mulgrew was tricked into narrating a documentary where it’s alleged that the Earth doesn’t revolve around the sun.

**FilmiGeek declares OMG – Oh My God!

**A cool essay about African American women in the silent film industry

**At Monster Island Resort the TCM Classic Film Festival Hosts TCM Party!

**RIP Pervert Dave

**The Horror!? makes bets with Daredevils of the Red Circle!

**Hey, Ju-On (The Grudge) is getting another Japanese installment!

**Hey, The Grudge (Ju-On) is getting another American reboot!

**Will there be a Gamera reboot? Probably if the Godzilla remake doesn’t bomb.

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 23, 2014 at 8:12 am

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Episode Links – The New Hope!

Star Wars Escalator
It’s time once again to toss out a whole bunch of links, because that’s what makes the world wide web a web, all them link linking everything together like a web. Which means you have to leave your comfort sites like Facebook and Twitter from time to time to go to other sites, even if it is just briefly. Just make sure to avoid the giant spiders who live on the web and devour unwary travelers, discarding their dessicated husks in the dredges of reddit. Be sure to stop by TarsTarkas.NET occasionally on your journey because it’s just polite. And you don’t want to be rude, do you?

As usual, there is a mix of movie news and reviews and articles from our friends and neighbors. Don’t forget to drop on by our partners in MOSS for more eclectic fun!

The escalator above is in the Tel Aviv City Hall (or at least was as of 2011!) It could also be a fun project for an enterprising local artist who has a lot of time on their hands at a location where there aren’t security cameras at the escalators.

Until the next big long list, news article, or review of something weird and/or wonderful!

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Posted by Tars Tarkas - April 10, 2014 at 2:21 pm

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