Ninja Academy (Review)

Ninja Academy

Will Egan as Josh
Gerald Okamura as Chiba
Kelly Randall as Gail
Seth Foster as Addleman!!!!!
Jeff Robinson as The Damned Mime
Directed by Nico Mastorakis!

Nico Mastorakis is back, this time with a new horror: Police Academy meets Enter the Ninja. The concept is just as bad as it sounds, in fact it’s even worse, as Nico Mastorakis is at the helm. Our previous encounters with Mr. Mastorakis include Glitch! and .com for Murder, though this is the first film I ever saw of his. This film also has one other aspect that earned Nico my ire for the rest of my days. Seth Foster plays a character named Addleman. As an Addleman, I was at first thrilled to see that there was a character somewhere in a movie with my name and spelled my way for once. That was before I saw the horror that is Seth Foster. Addleman is an overweight, cuss talking, sweaty oaf who backstabs, cheats, murders, and comes off as a second rate Joe Don Baker. Not that this is that inaccurate, but Nico Mastorakis made a fatal error, as I consider this a direct shot at me. This film was the first Mastorakis film I saw, and it laid the groundwork for the skyscraper of hate that has since been constructed against that man, ninety stories tall and climbing.

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Combat Academy (Review)

Combat Academy

aka Combat High

Keith Gordon as Max Mendelsson
Wally Ward as Perry Barnett
George Clooney as Biff Woods

A made for TV movie from 1986 styled after Police Academy, except they forgot the funny. And the Guy who makes noises. Gotta have Michael Winslow. They try to make up for it with lots of guest stars from TV shows at the time. This movie has only seen the light of day on DVD due to George Clooney’s early performance. George Clooney’s past is our misfortune. Read on, you apes, you wanna live forever?

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