Crying Fiddle (Review)
Directed by Jarin Parnsain
Time once again for some Thai shot on video horror! It’s when the guessing game is the horror in the film…or the film itself??? Usually it’s the film. Will it be the case this time? Duh!
This time we have the story of a girl who dies and comes back as a vengeful ghost who also happens to be green. Why green? Why the heck not? It’s not like we’re treading new ground with green ghosts, remember Slimer? But there will be no Ghostbusting…oh, there IS Ghostbusting, by a few Thai Buddhist priests, but they are the ones who get busted instead! Bustin’ doesn’t make them feel good, I tell you what.
For 73 minutes of generic ghost gunk, the film is okay. But it is the type of film you finish, go “Oooooookay…”, and then immediately start another film and never think about it again. Unless you write reviews on the internet, in which case you spend 30 minutes writing up a review and then never think about it again. You see what I go through for TarsTarkas.NET?
Thai is teaching Pring how to play the fiddle when her fat dad barges in and freaks out because they’re sitting close together, and in Thailand that makes you a whore. Pring doesn’t eat any food for three days, then hangs herself. That’ll show dad!
Local pretty guy Sorn starts tripping balls at the memorial service and seeing lots of jumpscares that show Pring is now a creepy ghost, and there are even flashes of nasty weather! Not nasty weather! Sorn then is freaked by a now green Pring harassing him randomly, but no one else can see her and thus everyone thinks Sorn has lost it.
The film gets all frakked up when one of Sorn’s servants runs to take a crap in the river and suddenly the water turns into the face of Pring! Instead of scaring the crap out of him, it thankfully scares the crap back inside him and we don’t have an awful scene of an actor pooping on the reflection of a ghost.
Pring continues to harass Sorn and his servants, while her dad just up and dies of sorrow. Oddly enough, he doesn’t come back in green form to harass people.
Being spooked doesn’t stop Sorn from banging another random girl named Nong!
The film tries to give us a spooky cat jumpscare, but the cat they have is like an 8-week old kitten and the old screeching cat sound effect doesn’t fit at all. It’s cat fail!
The secret of Crying Fiddle is revealed when we see that Sorn tried to rape Pring, but she fought back so he killed her then faked her suicide. In what I guess is Crying Fiddle‘s version of ironic poetic death, Sorn is hung in a tree via fiddle bow as Pring laughs the same laugh over and over like 50 times.
Pring won’t go away and keeps harassing people, so Sorn’s family hires a witch doctor, but Pring kills him and the rest of Sorn’s family and servants.
Finally, Pring goes to visit Thai, who just now learns of Pring’s death. Where have you been, buddy? His friends force away Pring’s ghost with the image of Buddha, so she vows revenge.
So she makes the village windy at night! The horror!
The village traps Pring inside a house with a magic amulet then sets the house on fire. Somehow this actually hurts Pring, but then someone let’s her out of the house and she declares she will kill everyone unless Thai dies and goes with her. So he runs into the burning house and dies, and they live happily ever after. Okay, not really live happily every after, because their dead. So they are dead happily ever after. At least as long as a relationship built on learning the fiddle and forcing your partner to immolate themselves can be. So probably three weeks.
Rated 3/10 (Extra girl, suicide is painless, bad daddy)