Snakes on a Plane (Review)

Snakes on a Plane

Samuel L. Jackson as Nelville Flynn
Julianna Margulies as Claire Miller
Nathan Phillips as Sean Jones (Red Bull Boy)
Rachel Blanchard as Mercedes
Flex Alexander as Three G’s
Kenan Thompson as Troy
Directed by David R. Ellis

“I’m tired of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

And with that, Snakes on a Plane became one of the greatest movies of all time. Cementing itself into cult status before it even finished filming. The above line was added in during reshoots, inspired by the fan buzz generated on the internet solely from the title of the movie. The producers wisely switched from a PG-13 to an R rating, giving the fans the line they wished for and some nudity and more gore to boot. Riding the Internet buzz even further, the producers went so far as to have a song writing contest where the winner would have his song played during the closing credits. This was an unprecedented example of audience participation in the making of a film. Samuel L. Jackson was one of the first to recognize the brilliance of the title, signing up for the movie after hearing it, and threatening to leave the project if they renamed it the proposed Pacific Air 122. The main question as the release date approached was would the movie live up to the Internet hype? The opening weekend where it barely edged into first place (thanks to some Thursday night pre-screenings) was called disappointing, but it should be noted that it is probably far more than the movie would have achieved under other circumstances. The hype inflated it’s box office numbers from dismal to “meh”.

The main good feature of the hype was the reshoots to R, which helped increase the cheesy factor and made the movie more fun. The gore comedy was hyped up, as PG-13 would have just looked horrible. Running a recap while the movie is still in the theater can be dangerous, as I might just overlook some important detail due to faulty memory and lack of notes. But we are going to soldier on regardless, and hopefully every major point and minor cheese is dually reported. That’s what Sam Jackson would do, and that’s what we’re gonna do! (Yeah, like Sam Jackson would be writing movie reviews on the Internet…) No promises will be made as the the amount of snake jokes, as this is a snake movie and puns are easy to write and will slither all over this recap like….snakes….on a plane! Continue reading

Species III (Review)

Species III

Robin Dunne as Dean
Robert Knepper as Dr. Abbot
Sunny Mabrey as Sara
Amelia Cooke as Amelia
J.P. Pitoc as Hastings
Natasha Henstridge as Eve

Direct to Sci-Fi Channel? How could I lose? Natasha Henstridge made it big by being the alien desperately looking for Mr. Goodbar who just happened to be naked for 78.342193% of the movie. That was followed up by a movie where an Astronaut who went to Mars became an Alien Deuce Bigalow implanting women with exploding babies that reach birthing stage after a few seconds. Due to the quick work of Bubba Blue from Forrest Gump and the remade Natasha Henstridge Astronaut Jones became Astro-not Jones. However, just to show it wasn’t the end of the line, Species II made certain to leave an out. Actually, it left Three! We had one of the Village of the Damned-looking children survive, inside the army truck with dead Natasha, who’s stomach was growing because she was pregnant after death, and out number three involved a random cat that jumped on her stomach, punched around, and quickly ran off. So whatever writers tackled this legacy would have no problem coming up with some sort of plot device. Astoundingly, the writers still had to stretch to get the story rolling, despite it being set up perfectly and easily.
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