Horny House of Horror (Review)

Horny House of Horror

aka Fasshon heru aka Fashion Hell

Directed and written by Jun Tsugita

How many different ways are there to film girls chomping off a guy’s johnson while keeping thing interesting? Well, Horny House of Horror has an answer to that, and the answer is “not enough.” As we’ve seen time and time again the past few years, Japan has become a great exporter of films that fit a genre of ridiculous gore – The Machine Girl, RoboGeisha, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl, Mutant Girls Squad, Gothic & Lolita Psycho – are all examples that TarsTarkas.NET has taken the time to view. And I admit that I think some of those films are rather good, in a WTF fashion, and I’m even shocked that the genre has lasted as long as it has without getting on my nerves. But when you get enough of something, parts of it will be crappy, and with Horny House of Horror is that part.

Up until the last third of the movie, the majority of the blood on display is arterial spray gushing out of the crotches of three unfortunate men. The rest is talking. And talking. And anticipating. At this point in the genre’s life, it is too late to try to do a slow buildup to the crazy, we’ve gotten to the point where we need a constant stream of crazy violence, much like the sprays of blood desired.

With a pedigree including writer/director Jun Tsugita (Mutant Girls Squad), and gore effects by Yoshihiro Nishimura (Tokyo Gore Police, Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl, and many more), this seemed like it would be a treat. Even some of the familiar cast members from Sushi Typhoon films pop up. But things just don’t go together right. And though the film gets around the banishment of full frontal nudity in Japan by using black circles over the severed and non-severed dongs, the limited freedom isn’t incorporated in a way that takes full advantage of the effect. It’s simply an afterthought, not part of the film itself. Though a small point, it is indicative of how much of the film doesn’t go together well.

The opening 16mm slideshow strip of a guy going to a sex massage club on the way home from work was rather nice – it is probably my favrite part of the film as a whole, and made me expect that things would be good throughout. But shadows of the strip remind me of my reading of Tokyo Vice by Jake Adelstein, which will sour you on the sex industry in Japan like nothing else will. We jump into our first victim, whose gets is wang rolled into a sushi roll that is promptly chomped by his working girl as he screams helplessly and blood reddens the world.

So let’s meet the cast!

Nagisa (Saori Hara) – This sushi-loving masseuse is the newest filly in the herd. She’s also the most reluctant. Saori Hara is an AV star who also does a good deal of softcore flicks. Oddly enough, she’s also in Deep Sea Monster Reigo, as well as 3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy. Back when she was Mai Nanami, I commented that she hadn’t done much of anything. Now she’s done much of everyone!
Nonoko (Asami Sugiura) – The most experienced working girl and the most jaded. Truly enjoys her job, even if it is apparent she hates herself and everyone else. Lesbionic with Kaori Asami is also an AV star, but her biggest fame is appearing in all the Noboru Iguchi and friends ridiculous gore films such as The Machine Girl, RoboGeisha, Mutant Girls Squad, Gothic & Lolita Psycho.
Kaori (Mint Suzuki) – Kaori is the new girl in the club, forced into a life of selling her body after her parents died to care for her younger siblings. But not is all as it seems with her. Mint Suzuki is an AV star whose films you can probably find with a quick Google search.
Nakazu (Yuya Ishikawa) – Nakazu is going to get married to his lovely girl Misa, thus his friends drag him out to have sex with some random chicks! He’s not that into it. Then things get interesting… Yuya Ishikawa is a familiar site in these ridiculous gore films, popping up inThe Machine Girl (plus the short sequel), RoboGeisha, and Gothic & Lolita Psycho.
Uno (Toushi Yanagi) – Uno is no slouch in picking women to have sex with in sex clubs. He’s also a karate master out of nowhere!
Toshida (Wani Kansai) – The bald member of the crew, fancies himself and expert in the ways of sex parlors. Too bad he isn’t an expert in not getting a boner!

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Deep Sea Monster Reigo (Review)

Deep Sea Monster Reigo

aka Shinkaijû Reigô

Directed by Shinpei Hayashiya
Written by Shinpei Hayashiya and Keita Toriumi

Thanks to the wonders of Chinese DVDs we get a copy of Deep Sea Monster Reigo, which information has been leaking about this film for five years! Much of the initial filming was done around 2004-2005, and since then it has been mostly effects work done in spare time by director/writer/effects man Shinpei Hayashiya, who is a major effects guy in Japanese cinema and enjoys working on giant monster films so much he has been making his own for that past few years. He has been known to have made Gamera 4: Truth (Gamera 4: Shinjitsu) which features a white Gyaos; and also the Godzilla fan film Godzilla x Desugirasu (which is probably Godzilla VS Seadora.) So this guy lives for this stuff. In fact, we are already getting a sequel, Deep Sea Monster Raiga!

Over the years, the project has gone through several names, including A-140F6: Shinkaijû Reigô sakusen (A-140F6: Operation Deep Sea Monster Reigo), Reigô tai Yamato (Reigo, the Deep-Sea Monster vs. the Battleship Yamato) and finally Shinkaijû Reigô (Deep Sea Monster Reigo.) In 2004 Shinpei Hayashiya was negotiating two other cast members, former pro-wrestler turned politician Hiroshi Hase and former Japanese Prime Minister Yoshiro Mori. Neither of them signed on, but it would have been cool. We wrote an article about Deep Sea Monster Reigo a while back, so it has some more tidbits.

Reigo requires some background information so we don’t just jump in with no clue what is going on. The Yamato was a Japanese warship that served in World War 2, at the time it was the heaviest warship ever built displacing 72,800 tonnes at full load, and armed with nine 46 cm (18.1 inch) main guns. The Yamato was sunk in April 1945 during Operation Ten-Go. None of the historical officers mentioned in the Wikipedia article show up in the film (at least as far as I could tell) so everyone seems to be purely fictitious. But, then, subtitles… The film takes place in the days just after US involvement in World War 2 and the Yamato faces its first powerful opponent, a sea monster named Reigo. Reigo is a little ticked that the Yamato killed its baby, so she sets out to starts smashing up the Yamato and its battle group (Battleships sail with several smaller ships for support, mostly destroyers/cruisers.) Battle is joined, people get killed, ships get sunk, the monster roars a lot, lighting flies all over the place, your general kaiju stuff.

This Chinese DVD has no English subtitles, so it is either Japanese language or Chinese subtitles, so we shall just wing it. At TarsTarkas.NET, we don’t need no stinking subtitles! The film is pretty easy to figure out without subtitles, so no worries there.

Ensign Takeshi Kaido (Takayasu “Taiyo” Sugiura) – Our lead character is Ensign Takeshi Kaido, a newly graduated cadet out to sea on his first mission right when the US declares war on Japan. He has a girlfriend and will be around during a lot of the action, but doesn’t really do a lot. Taiyo Suguira starred in Ultraman Cosmos and several other productions.
Officer Noboru Osako (Yukijiro Hotaru) – is the father of detective Osako from the Heisei Gamera trilogy, so this is a neat little surprise. Osako runs one of the gun crews on the main battery. Yukijiro Hotaru also starred in Shinpei Hayashiya’s fan film Gamera 4: Truth (aka Gamera 4: Shinjitsu)
Chie Kojima (Mai Nanami) – Takeshi Kaido’s love interest. Not a big role. Besides having a photobook Mai Nanami hasn’t really done much of anything.
Captain Yamagami (Susumu Kurobe) – Ultraman?!?!?! Yes, it is Susumu Kurobe as Captain Yamagami, the captain of the Yamato who can’t handle losing so many men, then mysteriously disappears. Susumu Kurobe was Hayata, Ultraman’s human alter-ego in the original Ultraman series. Susumu Kurobe starred in numerous other Ultraman productions, and was also seen here in Ghidrah and Godzilla vs. Megaguirus.
Crewman Kanai (Yoji Tanaka) – Another Yamato crew member. Yoji Tanaka was in a lot of cult films including Cutie Honey.
Benkei (Ukon Ichikawa) – aka Saito Musashibo Benkei (1155 – 1189), a legendary warrior monk who is in a bunch of kabuki and Noh plays, so maybe you should learn some culture and go see one. Or just watch him dance around on the deck of the Yamato as the entire crew is slaughtered. Ukon Ichikawa is a renowned kabuki actor.
Reigo – Reigo is a mama mad about her dead baby and attacks the ship foolish enough to make her childless, the Yamato. Reigo has electricity powers, lightning strikes her all the time and she can conjure up little electric Reigos to tear people up. Not immune to battleship weapons. Reigo was designed by Amemiya Keita (the director of Zeiramu) and then developed by Haraguchi Tomoo, who worked on the Heisei Gamera trilogy.

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