Mutant Girls Squad (Review)

Mutant Girls Squad

aka Sento shojo: Chi no tekkamen densetsu

Directed by Noboru Iguchi, Yoshihiro Nishimura, and Tak Sakaguchi

Is that all you got, movie?

So I’ll just copy the background of this pretty much directly from the ad material: Tak Sakaguichi (star of Versus), Noboru Iguchi (director of The Machine Girl and Robogeisha), and Yoshihiro Nishimura (tons of effects work and director on Vampire Girl vs. Frankenstein Girl and Tokyo Gore Police) got together in 2009’s New York Asian Film Festival, got drunk, and vowed to combine their efforts Voltron-style into one super movie. And here is the fruits of their blood-splattered loins. As those three are masters of the hip new subgenre of Japanese Ultragore, one expects this X-Men-ish flick to be the reddest thing under the sun. Imagine the worst oil spills known to man, only the black crude is instead red goo, and you know what to expect. And Mutant Girls Squad delivers on that effect.

But besides the blood spurting out like the lawn sprinklers at the local driving range, does Mutant Girls Squad deliver on the one thing I want, which is an entertaining film. And I declare that yes, Mutant Girls Squad is entertaining! I actually like it the most of all the gore flicks I have seen so far save The Machine Girl. The characters are more developed than usual, the storyline is a bit more detailed, and it looks like the three directors decided to try to outdo each other with fancier, technical shots.

Trumpy, you can do magic!

At this point having seen movies with girls with machine gun arms, girls with machine gun butts, swords coming out from butts, missing limbs being used as boomerangs, characters turning into mechanical monstrosities, every adult male being insanely perverted, and side characters being simply yelling people in wacky costumes, it takes a little more to make me take notice. Sure, you have a chainsaw coming out of your butt, but as you aren’t fighting a woman with flamethrower breasts I am not jumping for joy. Some of the characters are imaginative, including the girl with a weird mutant head best friend (which is sadly barely touched on) and the not-so secret final form of the Astro-Mutant.

There will be spoilers below, but we’ll not reveal every little detail, though probably enough that if you care you should hold off. We’re not going to point out every cameo and reused actor and actress from previous outings by these directors, as not only would that double the length of this review, it would be embarrassing when I missed like 4 or 5 of them. So we’ll only point out the highlights and let you know now there is plenty of interesting things to see if you pay attention.

Yeah, yeah, we’ve all gone through that phase of life where we have a giant cannon arm and was turned into a robot.

Rin (Yumi Sugimoto) – Our heroine is just a girl who a mutant arm who slaughters dozens of people because normal humans hate and despise her. Then she gets involved with the Mutant Underground and has to fight them as well. Yumi Sugimoto is a model, singer, and actress in such work as the tokusatsu series Engine Sentai Go-onger
Rei (Yuko Takayama) – Rei was sold to a freakshow as a child, and a boy loved her, but he was killed. She can grow a bird carapace and is a good fighter and tough girl. Yuko Takayama is a model and actress who also has a part in the tokusatsu movie Masked Rider Den-o Trilogy The Movie Episode Blue
Yoshie (Suzuka Morita) – The sweet member of the Mutant Girls Squad who breaks out the tentacles when duty calls. Usually dressed as a nurse. Why? Why not! Suzuka Morita has also gone tokusatsu in the series Samurai Sentai Shinkenger. It must be a requirement to be on a tokusatsu show if you’re a model.
Kisaragi (Tak Sakaguchi) – Kisaragi is the Hiruko (mutant) leader who cross-dresses (or is supposed to be a girl, I am not sure) and worships almighty Izanami. Mr. Director! How do all you Versus fanboys like this? I’m not sure this character could get any creepier. Actually, he could if he was a member of Fred Phelps’ church…
Astro-Mutant (Maki Mizui) – Maki Mizui is an AV star and has been Noboru Iguchi’s assistant since at lease The Machine Girl. Fanatical member of the Hiruko group who supports her leader. Miki Mizui’s AV films are some sort of disturbing genre that I don’t know the name of, but since it’s Japanese you can be assured it is both incredibly gross and a result of deep cultural repression.
Okay, movie, you have redeemed yourself!

Insert your own “splitting headache” joke here

Basically, Rin is your normal teenage girl with normal teenage problems like her arm hurting all the time, school bullies, the school nurse reporting her to the authorities for being a dangerous mutant Hiruko and attempting to drug her. Normal, everyday stuff like that. But Rin’s arm fights back and slices off the nurse’s ear via guitar wire. Rin makes it home, only to learn from her dad that he is also a Hiruko mutant, having weird growths on his chest and crotch. This family secret reveal doesn’t last long, as soon the anti-mutant squad shows up, complete with football uniforms and nose machine guns. Yes, nose machine guns. they also have samurai swords, and soon Rin’s parents are dead and her arm has gone all Power Glove on her. I love the Power Glove, it’s so bad! Rin slices up these cop fools, and the disembodied head of her father implores her to run.

Girls angry their white uniforms never get those blood stains out. Clorox HQ, you’re next!

She does, but only fear, horror, and death awaits Rin as she bumbles into one deadly situation after another, soon she’s single-handedly fighting off a whole neighborhood out for her blood. Luckily, she still has time to pose for epic shots right after she slaughters various people who seem to want her body to stuff and put in a store display. Basically she Freddy Kruegers the whole lot of them set to fast-paced music.

This new version of Doom was pretty trippy…
I’ve got to hand it to you…

There is a nice long tracking shot after she slaughters the trollish store owner, following Rin from the front as various people come on camera and gets sliced and diced. Basically, Sakaguchi is showing off with how he can create a long sequence with multiple gore effects as the camera continues to roll. It is a technical feat not matched by the other two directors. So when you see this girl with a claw arm who has killed like 50 people, why are you attacking her like you think you will be the one person who takes her down and not just body number 51.

Bigfoot! More Bigfoot! Everyone is Bigfoot! Shoot everyone!

Rin is eventually saved by a mysterious schoolgirl named Rei she saw briefly earlier in the film and a cross-dressing samurai.

Iguchi takes over as we join our X-Men-ish team already in progress learning the secret history of the Hiruko, who lived in peace until mankind came to kill them. Stupid mankind, ruining everything! Rin is forced to wear an iron mask until her powers develop, and all the girls mess with her a bit. Basically all you need to know is the cheerleader is named Lemme and has a Butt-Saw.

The guy is horrified of all the OSHA paperwork he has to fill out now…
The Powerglove is so bad…heads explode!

Okay, more specifically:

  • Lemme the cheerleader has a Butt-Saw
  • Sachie the maid waitress has sword breasts
  • Sumire has Katana-hands
  • Miki has a red spot on head
  • Mari has tiny arms for ears???
  • Nonoko has an Uncle Fester head as her best friend
  • Cyako has a creepy old guy monster face for a belly
  • Rei is the tough schoolgirl with a birdlike carapace
  • Yoshie is the unbeatable sister dressed as a nurse
  • Astro-Mutant is currently hooked up to a machine like the Cylon hybrids on Battlestar Galactica
  • Kisaragi is the cross-dressing master who I am not sure is supposed to be male or female
I think I saw this painted on the side of a WWII bomber

Train train train, practice practice practice, train train train, train of fools… All the while Kisaragi sacrifices humans to the “Almighty Izanami”.

Those arms are real handy for talking on the cell phone while driving

Rei pushes Rin to unleash her power, which because she is a Hiruko/Human hybrid her power is Super-sized. Her and Yoshie are sent on their first mission, to kill Hioaki Koshimizu, general of the department of defense who is a leading proponent of the human/Hiruko war. He is also a katsudon fanatic. Katsudon is okay, but it’s not what I want to be eating for my dying breath like this guy does. During the battle, Yoshie morphs into a pseudo-Trumpy from Pod People! She also has tentacle arms and takes great pleasure in impaling the various dudes through their body orifices. Hey, we got tentacle rape in this film after all, but not the kind that the people Googling “tentacle rape” are looking for when they’ll stumble across this review in a few weeks.

That even includes wearing too much lipstick!

Japanese gore movie favorite Asami shows up as a one-eye samurai lady, as does another returning favorite Kentaro Shimazu as a robotic rebuilt guy who I think was going by the name Predatory Crickets. Whatever is happening, it is weird and awesome at the same time. Not enough movies have mutant girls fighting robot dudes. Rin can’t kill the last few survivors in cold blood, but Rei can.

Back at camp, Rin and Yoshie fight over whether to obey orders to kill innocent people. It is clear that people fear Kisaragi’s extremism, but no one is willing to stand up to her fanaticism.

Okay, I’ll give Texas another chance…

Chapter 3 – Insurrection
That was a bad Star Trek film and…oh, wait, that’s the title of part 3! I guess I should have mentioned the titles of the other two Chapters. It would be so easy to go back and edit…but…still too much work. We’ve gone too far now! Nishimura takes over the directorial duties for the explosive finale. Explosive because various Mutant Girl Squad members are blowing themselves up for the cause! The cause of…killing people? Other MGSs attack humans in public only to meet violent demises, basically suicide attacks. This sequence is set to music adding to the surrealism of a woman with a giant floating mutant head blowing herself to pieces. Pay attention to which squad members don’t go a Jihad Jane, as they’ll be along in a little bit.


Rin and Yoshie try to stop Rei from killing the entire squad, so Rei sicks butt-chainsaw Lemme and sword-boobs Sachie on them. Fight fight fight! Meanwhile, Kisaragi has captured the Japan PM who started the war and he is to be sacrificed to the Hiruko god Izanami

No comment.

Rin and Rei battle while Yoshie fights the other two girls, who don’t live to the end of the battle, and get exploded as an added bonus. Army guys arrive to face Kisaragi who is in a super-sized carapace that has to be seen to be believed. We can’t really post photos of it due to the prominent naked breasts, so rent the flick or something.

JAPAN! Does your mother know you make movies like this?

The Hiruko girl that was lying naked and hooked up to machines dubbed Astro-Mutant awakens and fights Yoshie. Astro-Mutant has fire in her veins, literally, because when she cuts them open she shoots flames out. Rin manages to get to Rei’s goodness, and the two girls both attack Kisaragi, who is blasting them with acid breastmilk out of those breasts we can’t show you pictures of.

Her mutant power is to wear a goofy mask!

Astro-Mutant chops off her hands and feet and looks…with the hair…Holy Astroboy! Now you know why we call her Astro-Mutant. But things come to a head in a kabooming manner, with evil getting defeated by good. Take that, evil! Let’s all go Astro-Mutant surfing after the movie! It will be sooo extreme!

This is the only safe for work angle.

Mutant Girls Squad is good fun. In fact, it is some of the best fun in one of these gore-fests I’ve had, even if the genre is starting to get repetitive and running our of room to go for shock value. Mutant Girl Squad showed there was room to grow for technological achievements, characterization, and even unexpected parody. It showed that by working together you can be better than the sums of your parts. And it kept me interested in this genre when I thought I would be losing interest. So let’s bring on Gothic Lolita Psycho!

Music to my eyes!

The one thing the film doesn’t deal with is what happens to Mari’s head after she blows up her body?? I demand answers!

Without you our fugitive mutant powered life was so boring!

Rated 8/10 (Mutant dad, school bully, they never say what the red spot does, normal mom, mask of no power, got Jesus on my necklace-lace-lace, what happens to your brain if you take this serious, Totally not Noboru Iguchi!)

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