Poseidon Rex Trailer

A year ago, Poseidon Rex was just a poster, now it’s completed enough they dropped a trailer! Thrill as a T-Rex with some fins harasses treasure divers, and then tries go the American Godzilla route and pop out a bunch of babies. Featuring a bunch of black guys with guns who keep demanding gold from the heroes.


Don’t worry, there’s a black guy on the good guy team. Who wants to take bets on if he’ll live to the end of the film?

Mark L. Lester (Pterodactyl) directs, Rafael Jordan (Star Runners) writes, and Brian Krause and Anne McDaniels star

Poseidon Rex hits DVD in December 2013. Will it make it to SyFy? Or will we be forced to actually get the DVD? Only time (and the programming schedule) will tell!

Poseidon Rex

Poseidon Rex

Poseidon Rex

Poseidon Rex

Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators

Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators

aka Alligator Alley
Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators
Story by Rafael Jordan Pujals
Screenplay by Delondra Williams and Keith Allan
Directed by Griff Furst (as Louis Myman)

I love it when they wiggle on the way down!

Cajun dudes, bayou creole accents, fancy blue moonshine, family rivalries, even a banjo player who can’t talk. Ragin’ Cajun Redneck Gators serves up the full buffet of bayou stereotypes. It also serves up a heaping load of killer mutant gators and some horrible body modification mess.

Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators differs in tone from a lot of SyFy’s pictures because it’s a lot more darker. The origin of the monsters turns into a tragedy, and the heroine Avery must reluctantly deal with the consequences and ending the terror. It’s actually horrifying what transpires, basically her entire family is transformed into mutant killer gators after eating the flesh of a slain mutant killer gator. Thus, to save the rest of the town and the planet from the threat of her relatives, who are now mindless killing machines, she has to destroy them. Worse yet, there are clues that the gators have at least some memories of their human lives.

Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators

I ate the blueberry Kool-Aid!

I give credit to the script for delivering the unexpected twist of being forced to slaughter your own family. Rafael Jordan came up with the story and Keith Allan and Delondra Williams turned it into the final film. Griff Furst helps breath life to it, directing under his pseudonym. I especially love how they turn the resident gator expert on it’s ear, you’re expecting a Steve Irwin clone, but instead you get a riff on The Dog Whisperer!

The Gator Whisperer being a complete wackjob is a humorous element needed as the film turns darker. His whole schtick of being an expert who can talk alligators into being docile creatures ends in the bloody way you imagine it will for him and his entire crew. I guess some time slots just opened up on his station!

Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators suffers from an obviously suffering budget, the mutant alligators are barely distinguishable from the standard crocodile models used in these SyFy films. After the Doucettes are all turned into alligators, there only seems to be like five people left in town. The urgency to save the rest of the town sort of goes away if there isn’t people in the town.

Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators

They will live happily ever after like Romeo and Juliet. Wait a minute…

Despite some innovations and some neat tricks, Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators fails to rise above the crop, instead languishing with the average SyFy creature features. While that is good enough for those who enjoy them, it’s not going to impress the viewers who are looking for the next gimmick creature feature to turn into a viral hashtag. That’s okay, because SyFy shouldn’t be making films just for viral hits, they should be making films that turn into good films. Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators just fills the status quo, a type of film that you’ll know before you watch whether you’ll find it interesting. I shall always push for films to be greater, no matter which network they originate from.

Avery Doucette (Jordan Hinson) – City girl who returns to the bayou community where she grew up to visit her family, ends up dealing with family feuds, mutant gators, and terrible tragedies.
Dathan Robichaud (John Chriss) – Robichaud heir who was childhood secret lovers with Avery, one of the few responsible people in town, though he’s still a jerk at times. Appointed to the police after they’re left shorthanded, but also bit by one of the gators that turns you into a gator. That spells trouble…
Lucien “Lou” Doucette (Ritchie Montgomery) – Avery’s dad and swamping expert. Lucien Doucette has a “boom stick” to help him hunt gators as gator season begins. His barbeque of the mutant gator ends up destroying his entire family as they’re all turned into mutant gators. Really hates the Robichauds.
Wade Robichaud (Thomas Francis Murphy) – Robichaud patriarch who also makes illegal moonshine, now with added mystery chemicals from the internet. Chemicals that are mutating gators. Whoops! Really hates the Doucettes.
Sheriff Landry (???) – Sheriff of this small town that has to deal with mutant gators and two rival families battling it out.
Tristan Sinclair (Victor Webster) – Known as The Gator Whisperer, Tristan Sinclair comes to town to try to solve the mutant gator problem. Instead, he becomes dinner.
The Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators (CGI) – Mutant gators with tail spikes and red necks. They can throw their tail spikes at victims. Bites or eating their flesh will turn you into one. This happens to a majority of the cast.

Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators

Hi! We’re mutant gators that hover 1 inch above the grass. Because we’re mutants.

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Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators will rockodile!

Gator butterflies

Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators is a real title for a real movie destined to become a SyFy classic. Fantastic director Griff Furst (Arachnoquake) is helming Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators and it took three people to write it – SyFy veteran Rafael Jordan, and Rise of the Zombies co-writers Delondra Williams and Keith Allan. This is a surprisingly strong combination of solid talent that promises an entertaining flick beyond the fact the title is ridiculous!

Jordan Hinson (Eureka) and Victor Webster (Continuum) star. I’ve never seen them in anything so I can’t give any lame snarky jokes here. So far all the info we got is from the IMDB page. When it does get an airdate on SyFy, we shall stop out gator wrasslin’ and let you know!

Stonados storm SyFy, leave title pun wreckage in their wake…

If you can’t wait for Sharknado, don’t fret, there is another tornado combo-pun title film popping up on SyFy April 27th with Stonados! Stonados is a disaster flick about a giant tornado that throws stones at everything in its path. Finally the true story of the tornadoes that haven’t sinned and thus can begin the stone-throwing armageddon Jesus talked about in the Bible! Experienced disaster film helmer Jason Bourque directs (Seattle Superstorm, Wildfire 7: The Inferno, The Two Coreys) and SyFy movie writer superstar Rafael Jordan wrote the script. You know his work: Dragon Wasps, Frost Giant, Star Runners, Hammer of the Gods, and the upcoming masterpieces Poseidon Rex, Jurassic Attack, and the new classic I just heard about, Ragin Cajun Redneck Gators!

TimesColonist has some of the filming details:

It stars Paul Johansson (One Tree Hill) as Joe, a widowed ex-storm chaser; Sebastian Spence (First Wave) as his former partner; Thea Gill (Queer as Folk) as a tough bureaucrat; and William B. Davis (The X-Files), as a lighthouse keeper.

Also featured are rising local stars Jessica McLeod (The Christmas Consultant) as Megan, Joe’s rebellious teenage daughter; Dylan Schmid (Once Upon a Time) as Jackson, her younger brother; and Grace Vukovic (Mulligans) as their friend Julie.

Coultish Management has some set photos from the filming:

Everyone had a great time on set and many got to experience movie magic with huge wind machines simulating the storm and big chunks of Styrofoam “stones” flying around set! Here are a few snapshots of some of our members on set!

Stonados sign

How powerful can the Stonado be if it can’t shut down Dave’s Java Hut?

Star Runners (Review)

Star Runners

aka Termination Shock

Directed by Mat King
Written by Rafael Jordan

In space no one can hear you run from stars. Or something. More likely, In space no one can hear you “borrow” from franchises.

Giant bugs in space…holy Starship Troopers, Batman! The special effects guys obviously love Battlestar Galactica, every shot of ships in space is done with the hand held camera zooms that were popularized on the cult remake series. The plot borrows heavily from Firefly and Starship Troopers, and characters are named after characters from Aliens. I give the movie props for trying to be more than just your average creature feature, but it also fails on a few other aspects. This mixed message actually hurts the film more than it should, which is unfortunate and a little unfair. I will always prefer a movie that tries and fails to be something better than a film that doesn’t even bother.

This film used to be known as Termination Shock. People saw it on the SciFi Channel news listings, knew it starred Connor Trinneer and James Kyson Lee, and nothing else. They went crazy trying to find out information. Then suddenly this mysterious film Star Runners was listed on the schedule. No one knew what it was. Finally, people figured out the movies were the same, and there were giant bugs! And then…it aired. Life went back to normal. That is the story of Star Runners.

Tycho ‘Ty’ Johns (Connor Trinneer) – Tycho Johns is a pilot who likes to smuggle and doesn’t like to get caught. But he does and is forced by Bishop to pick up some cargo, which turns out to be more trouble than he thought. And then giant bugs came… Connor Trinneer is best known for playing Trip Tucker on Star Trek: Enterprise and for having a rabid fanbase that was so desperate for information about this film before it aired on SciFi Channel they were asking me questions. Me!
Lei Chen (James Kyson Lee) – Lei Chen is Tycho’s sidekick and copilot in the future. It is nice to see more scifi media acknowledge that there will be a bunch of Asian people running around in space in the future because there are just so many Asian people. James Kyson Lee is famous from playing Ando in Heroes and he was also in a McDonald’s commercial!
Asta (Toni Trucks) – Our naked, mute, magical, amnesiac mystery girl! Poor girl finally gets her memory back, only to find out she was named after Nick and Nora Charles’s dog.
Jenessa (Aja Evans) – A crash survivor with a secret. Only her hairdresser knows for sure. Yes, that ad campaign is older than me, but I know about it thanks to Mad Magazine.
Bishop (Michael Culkin) – Bishop is an evil military dude in charge of blowing up stuff and taking possession of Asta. Thus, he is constantly chasing after Tycho, who he sent to get Asta. Besides Bishop, there is also a Hudson and a Hicks running around. How many Culkin kids are there?
Rebel Leader (???) – I don’t think he gets a name on screen, so I don’t know which actor played him or even his character name. He leads the local Rebellion against the UP, who are evil because the plot demands them to be.
Bugs (CGI) – Besides the normal bugs, there are bigger bugs and even huge bugs. You might ask how this desert planet supports a giant bug ecosystem, to which I would answer “Shut the hell up!”

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Thor: Hammer of the Gods (Review)

Thor: Hammer of the Gods

Directed by Todor Chapkanov
Written by Steve Bevilacqua and Rafael Jordan

What could have been a cool concept is instead bogged down into a mediocre entry into the SciFi Channel original movie canon. The premise seems simple: Vikings vs. werewolves, and Thor shows up! The execution is problematic. The main problem is the pacing. There is lots of padding with Viking ceremonies and birthright nonsense. That’s great that the screenwriters are some of those people that know a disturbing amount of Nordic culture, but it doesn’t always make compelling viewing. The Vikings spend a lot of time running back and forth on the island as their comrades get picked off, while the werewolves start out as invincible supermonsters and quickly become incredibly easy to kill. Look, I don’t care if the Vikings are wearing the wrong color clothes, have horns or no horns on their helmets, or even if their sword stances are wrong. I just care if the movie is fun. Because, a movie about Vikings vs. werewolves is supposed to be fun. That’s the whole point!

Thor Hammer of the Gods does have good moments. The battles in the last half are pretty good, and it does pick up the pace some. Everyone speaks with exaggerated Shakespeare accents, which at first I found goofy, but it added to some of the camp value that should have been in the rest of the film. It is obvious the film had a very small budget, and it seemed to do well with what it had, I only wished they had spend more on action and less on the Viking stuff, especially since it seemed to not add much of anything to the characters. We learned little about Thor except he was brave and needed to learn more about leadership. That gave us no real emotional connection.

The actors I found little fault with. The biggest fun was Zachary Ty Brian (who has dropped the Ty) as Thor. When I first head this cast announcement, I laughed. I expected this to be terrible. But Zachary Bryan pulled it off, partially because he wasn’t Thor God of Thunder, but just a guy named Thor. As Zachary Bryan has been spending his post-Home Improvement career playing jerks of various degrees on movies and TV, it was nice seeing him do a different role. He might even have a career doing SciFi Channel films to supplement income from the latest Hollywood movie that needs a jerk. Most of the other cast is unknown, but Daz Crawford was pretty entertaining and makes a good jerk character. George Zlatarev appears near the end of the film and does a good job with what little he was given. He was also in Manticore and Grendel along with dozens of other SciFi Channel films.

Thor (Zachery Ty Bryan) – Thor isn’t the God of Thunder and Son of Odin, he’s just a Viking warrior with a fauxhawk who is the youngest of three brothers (Baldur and Ulfrich are the others.) Thor has much to learn in how to be an effective leader, but gets a quick lesson thanks to some werewolves. Thor is also the reincarnation of Thor, a great warrior who can weld the Hammer of the Gods.
Baldur (Mac Brandt) – The middle brother, but treated as the eldest because he was the first legitimate brother. Leader of the Viking quest to the island, only to be betrayed by his own brother. Sacrifices himself due to too much Indiana Jones. Never reached the gate.
Ulfrich (Daz Crawford) – The bastard older brother of Baldur and Thor, Ulfrich really is a bastard because he goes all werewolf on them over imagined women troubles. That bastard!
Freyja (Melissa Leigh) – Baldur’s wife has “the sight”, which means she has visions and stuff. Her visions don’t help her in combat. Freyja has got to be the most common name for girls in fantasy films. It is the fantasy “Jennifer”!
Sif (Alexis Peters) – Ulfrich’s wife or girlfriend or something. She’s friends with Thor, which makes Ulfrich mad. Besides that, she doesn’t really have much personality, though she is a better fighter than Freyja. Alexis Peters appeared on TarsTarkas.NET before in Grendel.
Evil Werewolf Girl (???) – Evil Werewolf Girl was never given a name, but she does have an accent! She’s evil, and a werewolf, so that’s all you need to know. I don’t know who played her, either.
The Viking Brothers (??? and ???) – I am not sure of their names, but these dudes live to the end where they save the ship from werewolves. One has a bow an arrow, and they seem smarter than your average random guy in a SciFi Channel film.
Werewolves (dudes with CGI heads) – What do you get when you CGI wolves heads on top of some shirtless dudes in loin clothes? Werewolves! Yeah. Teen Wolf, this is not.
Fenrir (CGI) – The evil Wolf God and son of Loki. Talks in that stereotypical demon voice. His CGI is some sort of armored wolf, but it is too dark to get a good view. Not a big fan of MC Hammer.

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