Judgment (Review)


aka Apocalypse IV: Judgment

Directed by André van Heerden

Apocalypse IV Judgment
God’s calling. He wants to know if our fridge is running…

Judgment is not a film I would normally watch, because my recent film watching days have been filled with more obscure stuff from around the globe, and the time I’ve spent on direct to video fun has been limited at best. But thanks to my affiliation as a member of the Mysterious Order of the Skeleton Suit (aka M.O.S.S.), we did a Secret Santa where I was gifted this awesome DVD from Carol at The Cultural Gutter. And if you don’t read The Cultural Gutter, you are missing out. You should probably read it almost as much as you read this site! Other M.O.S.S. Secret Santa adventures can be found at this link. Go there to read and listen as M.O.S.S. members get sent things they wouldn’t normally review.

Christian rapture cinema has a not very long history, but has left behind a collection of films of various quality. I have watched a fair number of these from around a decade ago, when they were all over the local video stores. I can say that Megiddo: The Omega Code 2 is awesome. It’s everything you want your Rapture Cinema to be. Even the big guns like the Left Behind series of films (starring Kirk Cameron and from the same production company as the Apocalypse series) pale in comparison. Judgment is the fourth film in the Apocalypse series, and I have not seen the others. With the advent of digital cameras, the amount of Christian films have exploded in recent years, as have the amount of Rapture films. But beyond the few that make interesting trailers on YouTube, the films are largely ignored by the general movie going public, though a few breakout recent Christian films include C Me Dance, Three, and Suing the Devil.

Apocalypse IV Judgment
We may be poor, but we got lots of lightbulbs on strings!

The continuity of the Apocalypse series is suspect at best. By the end of the previous film, former journalist Helen Hannah was executed but also released tapes of the Antichrist saying all his followers are idiots who will burn in Hell, and they begin to protest against him. All that protest stuff is forgotten, the people still love Franco Macalousso with only the few Christian rebels left to offer any resistance. Helen Hannah is saved from death for the trial plot.

I know it is not this movie’s purpose to be a deep philosophical source of arguments for or against the existence of God, but the trial format and the actual arguments introduced on both sides force a comparison of the arguments. To be fair, the arguments presented by both sides are largely shallow, targeting strawmen or misquotes, and some arguments aren’t even addressed or just dismissed without reason. The popcorn philosophy does have to be mentioned, even if it’s in a popcorn website response, because we got better things to do than to turn this site into a scholarly religious website. So microwave some popcorn before you read on. We’ll wait. Doo-do-do-do-dooo-do-dooo…. Got your snack food? Let’s begin!

Apocalypse IV Judgment
The People’s Court: The Next Generation

Mitch Kendrick (Corbin Bernsen) – Embittered lawyer who looks out for Number One, and I don’t mean Will Riker. Blackmailed into defending Helen Hannah at the Trial of the Century. Doesn’t buy into that Jesus stuff, and also doesn’t buy into that Anti-Christ stuff. I like to think this is Corbin Bernsen’s character from L.A. Law, because that would be cool.
Victoria Thorne (Jessica Steen) – The prosecuting attorney on the case Humankind vs. Hannah and Jesus. The kind of prosecutor that would let OJ Simpson walk.
Helen Hannah (Leigh Lewis) – Former reporter and Christian resistance member who has been captured by Franco Macalousso and will be used in his latest scheme, a goofy show trial!
J.T. Quincy (Mr. T) – A Christian trying to live under the tyrannical rule of Franco Macalousso, and a man of action. Violent action! Mr. T is freaking awesome, and I pity the fools who don’t like Mr. T. Because they are stupid.
Franco Macalousso (Nick Mancuso) – OMG it’s Lucifer! The most evil world leader ever. How this guy is so charismatic he controls the world, I’ll never know. But then, a lot of evil politicians have massive support in real life, so maybe it’s like that.
Apocalypse IV Judgment
Could God make a creek so full of crap even he couldn’t be up it without a paddle? We’ve just prove God is fake, hail Satan!

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Left Behind is back to leave you behind again!

You remember those Left Behind movies starring Kirk Cameron based on those Left Behind books that are perpetually on sale at Wal-Mart and show up all the time at thrift stores, but you haven’t bothered to read them or watch the films because they’re awful awful awful? Well, now you have a new Left Behind film to not watch, a big budget version that will be focusing more on the disaster sequences than the actual story about a gay baby who is the Anti-Christ.

Paul Lalonde and John Patus are shopping around the idea to make this, budgeted at $15 million, just low enough that this will turn a profit no matter how horrible it is. Will they go the extra mile and make the Anti-Christ Obama? We shall see…

Left Behind geese

This was the best random result from Google Image Search ever!

via BeyondHollywood

Picture via here