Whiskey Business (Review)

Whiskey Business

Whiskey Business
Written by Jed Elinoff, Scott Thomas
Directed by Robert Iscove

Whiskey Business
Pauly Shore making moonshine on a CMT made for tv movie? How can you say no? The best part is how I taped this and then forgot about it, yet as soon as I found the recording on my hard drive I instantly watched it, because you just have to watch it, even if it is years too late. Yes, Country Music Television makes tv movies now and again, and not only is Pauly Shore being all Jersey Shore in hillbilly land, but there is Tanya Tucker running around, and Dukes of Hazzard alum John playing a corrupt sheriff who is anti-moonshine. That’s some inspired casting, right there.

The movie is dumb as heck and seems to let Pauly Shore improvise half of his dialogue while the scenes play out. But it’s also dumb fun, because Shore’s character begins to grow on you. I am of the often controversial opinion that Pauly Shore is entertaining at times, so your mileage may vary. Some may be shocked because this review of a Pauly Shore movie will be positive, but please try to keep it all in stride…
Whiskey Business
Nicky Ferelli (Pauly Shore) is a mob boss scion who spends his days working out and spraytanning, and his nights partying it up and making flavored drinks. The only thing keeping him from being a reality show cast member is the lack of a stupid nickname. He has no intentions of taking over the family business, but his dad has other plans, sending him out with enforcer Dino (Ari Cohen). Dino feels that he is the rightful heir to the family, and plans to kill off Nicky, which goes awry as Nicky escapes by hiding inside a truck. But he’s now framed for murder and alone in Tennesse, where he’s promptly robbed of his shoes and left to run through the woods. Avoiding potshots from an angry moonshiner with a gun, Parnell (Brad Borbridge), Nicky is helped by bar owner Jess (Cynthia Preston) and sort of adopted by Trina (Tanya Tucker), giving him a place to stay and food. He ends up helping Parnell (who is Trina’s stepson) and his moonshine, coming up with a scheme to flavor it with fruit so it doesn’t taste terrible.
Whiskey Business
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September Morn is the 9-11 Truther film your tin foil hat asked for!

September Morn

From the Loose Change Dept.

If you are one of those people who questions how steel could possibly melt because it’s mad of metal and see massive conspiracies in the marshmallows of Lucky Charms, then September Morn is the film for you! As the official press says:

We the people demand that the government revisit and initiates a thorough and independent investigation to the tragic events of 911. In the vein of “Twelve Angry Men” this dramatic piece is set with a stellar and award winning cast.

I’ve never seen a drama that made demands before it was even made, but here you go.

The attached stars to September Morn so far are Woody Harrelson, Martin Sheen, Judd Nelson, Esai Morales, Daniel Sunjata, Ed Asner, John Heard, Valerie Harper, Michelle Phillips, Nick Mancuso, and Dick Gregory. Which one of them is going to uncover the conspiracy, I don’t know. I’m putting my money on Valerie Harper. BJ Davis directs and Howard Cohen is writing the script. If BJ Davis sounds familiar, perhaps you remember a little movie called Laser Mission???

September Morn missed out on naming itself 9-11 Angry Men. It also missed out on getting Matt Damon and becoming September Bourne. At least they can still do a Star Trek crossover. Remember, Sisko did 9-11.

via Guardian

Morn DS9

I did 9-11. I did ALLLLL the 9-11s!

Judgment (Review)


aka Apocalypse IV: Judgment

Directed by André van Heerden

Apocalypse IV Judgment
God’s calling. He wants to know if our fridge is running…

Judgment is not a film I would normally watch, because my recent film watching days have been filled with more obscure stuff from around the globe, and the time I’ve spent on direct to video fun has been limited at best. But thanks to my affiliation as a member of the Mysterious Order of the Skeleton Suit (aka M.O.S.S.), we did a Secret Santa where I was gifted this awesome DVD from Carol at The Cultural Gutter. And if you don’t read The Cultural Gutter, you are missing out. You should probably read it almost as much as you read this site! Other M.O.S.S. Secret Santa adventures can be found at this link. Go there to read and listen as M.O.S.S. members get sent things they wouldn’t normally review.

Christian rapture cinema has a not very long history, but has left behind a collection of films of various quality. I have watched a fair number of these from around a decade ago, when they were all over the local video stores. I can say that Megiddo: The Omega Code 2 is awesome. It’s everything you want your Rapture Cinema to be. Even the big guns like the Left Behind series of films (starring Kirk Cameron and from the same production company as the Apocalypse series) pale in comparison. Judgment is the fourth film in the Apocalypse series, and I have not seen the others. With the advent of digital cameras, the amount of Christian films have exploded in recent years, as have the amount of Rapture films. But beyond the few that make interesting trailers on YouTube, the films are largely ignored by the general movie going public, though a few breakout recent Christian films include C Me Dance, Three, and Suing the Devil.

Apocalypse IV Judgment
We may be poor, but we got lots of lightbulbs on strings!

The continuity of the Apocalypse series is suspect at best. By the end of the previous film, former journalist Helen Hannah was executed but also released tapes of the Antichrist saying all his followers are idiots who will burn in Hell, and they begin to protest against him. All that protest stuff is forgotten, the people still love Franco Macalousso with only the few Christian rebels left to offer any resistance. Helen Hannah is saved from death for the trial plot.

I know it is not this movie’s purpose to be a deep philosophical source of arguments for or against the existence of God, but the trial format and the actual arguments introduced on both sides force a comparison of the arguments. To be fair, the arguments presented by both sides are largely shallow, targeting strawmen or misquotes, and some arguments aren’t even addressed or just dismissed without reason. The popcorn philosophy does have to be mentioned, even if it’s in a popcorn website response, because we got better things to do than to turn this site into a scholarly religious website. So microwave some popcorn before you read on. We’ll wait. Doo-do-do-do-dooo-do-dooo…. Got your snack food? Let’s begin!

Apocalypse IV Judgment
The People’s Court: The Next Generation

Mitch Kendrick (Corbin Bernsen) – Embittered lawyer who looks out for Number One, and I don’t mean Will Riker. Blackmailed into defending Helen Hannah at the Trial of the Century. Doesn’t buy into that Jesus stuff, and also doesn’t buy into that Anti-Christ stuff. I like to think this is Corbin Bernsen’s character from L.A. Law, because that would be cool.
Victoria Thorne (Jessica Steen) – The prosecuting attorney on the case Humankind vs. Hannah and Jesus. The kind of prosecutor that would let OJ Simpson walk.
Helen Hannah (Leigh Lewis) – Former reporter and Christian resistance member who has been captured by Franco Macalousso and will be used in his latest scheme, a goofy show trial!
J.T. Quincy (Mr. T) – A Christian trying to live under the tyrannical rule of Franco Macalousso, and a man of action. Violent action! Mr. T is freaking awesome, and I pity the fools who don’t like Mr. T. Because they are stupid.
Franco Macalousso (Nick Mancuso) – OMG it’s Lucifer! The most evil world leader ever. How this guy is so charismatic he controls the world, I’ll never know. But then, a lot of evil politicians have massive support in real life, so maybe it’s like that.
Apocalypse IV Judgment
Could God make a creek so full of crap even he couldn’t be up it without a paddle? We’ve just prove God is fake, hail Satan!

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