The Karate Dog (Review)

The Karate Dog

Jon Voight as Hamilton Cage
Simon Rex as Det. Peter Fowler
Pat Morita as Chin Li
Chevy Chase as Cho-Cho (voice)
Jaime Pressly as Ashley Wilkens
Nicollette Sheridan as White Cat (voice)
Directed by Bob Clark

Premiering on ABC Family of all places, the movie Karate Dog suffers from many flaws, but is altogether not a complete failure. There are a few moments of glory that shine like specks of gold in the sewer system stream that is the rest of this film. Right off the bat, in a movie called The Karate Dog, flaw number one is the Karate Dog, or Cho-Cho as he is called in the film. Cho-Cho is voiced by Chevy Chase, who seemed to phone in a majority of the readings, but in certain places it sounds like he got away with ad libbing and putting some effort into improving the script. The times that it sounds like Chevy is going off script are usually used during movement scenes so Cho-Cho isn’t even bothered to be animated, and those quips are generally more funny than the standard tired jokes that get passed around in this film. This was probably allowed because Cho-Cho constantly making quips while walking away from the camera not only helps in the ad libbing, but allows for cheap additions, as the dog doesn’t need more animation for his waggling jaw. Director Bob Clark is known for such wonderful films such as A Christmas Story and Porky’s, but more recently has been helming the Baby Geniuses franchise. The roller-coaster ride that is Bob Clark’s life seems to be jammed at the bottom of the hill. Karate Dog also features Pat Morita as basically his Mr. Miyagi character, as well as former gay porn star Simon Rex and his then-girlfriend Jaime Pressly as police officers who date in film. Finally, the villain is played by Angelina Jolie’s dad, Jon Voight, who continues to make bizarre career choices, but is a highlight of this film toward the end as he goes crazy. If all of this doesn’t make you salivate with desire, then you’re just like most people. Luckily, some days simply nothing else is on TV, and as far as new TV movies go, this would beat The Cheetah Girls Movie or Lifetime’s latest movie where a woman is mistreated by her husband.

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King Cobra (Review)

King Cobra

Pat Morita as Nick Hashimoto
Scott Hillenbrand as Dr. Brad Kagen
Casey Fallo as Jo Biddle
Hoyt Axton as Mayor Ed Biddle
Joseph Ruskin as Dr. Irwin Burns

Hey, it’s another movie that imitates Jaws, except this time they have a giant cobra instead of a giant shark! Great, the world needs more movies that are carbon copies of Jaws. The novelty of this film is the giant snake, he’s not a bad CGI giant snake, he’s a bad animatronic giant snake! So instead of characters looking three feet to the right of a badly drawn snake, now they are looking directly at a stationary snake. Joining the mechanical snake is Pat Morita, who is the headliner. He is the mystic snake handler/herpetologist Nick Hashimoto, who is the leading expert in venomous snakes. Wax on, wax off, wax cobra. No snake running around loose movie would be complete without some redneck hunters, authority figures who don’t believe the heroes, and heroes who save the day in the face of all danger. Throw in Hoyt Axton, Erik Estrada, and even Efren Ramirez and we’re good to go.

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