Zone Fighter Episode 22 – Gyakushuu! Suupaajikiro-wo Taose

May 2, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Zone Fighter Episode 22 – Gyakushuu! Suupaajikiro-wo Taose

aka 逆襲! スーパージキロを倒せ aka Counterstrike! Strike Down Super-Jikiro! aka Counterattack! Defeat Super Jiriko

1973
Written by Masaru Takesue
Directed by Masao Minowa

Jikiro hate bathtime!!

It’s time for another episode of Zone Fighter with Counterstrike! Strike Down Super-Jikiro!AKA Hikaru Gets a Girlfriend! Yes, the producers have noticed that Hikaru is a red-blooded Japanese male, but somehow doesn’t even look at the ladies, so they have one run into him this episode…literally! But don’t get too attached, she’s a one and done, and Hikaru even has a completely different “girlfriend” a few episodes later.

This episode takes place over the longest stretch of time that a single episode does, the exact amount I couldn’t determine, but Hikaru goes through two surgeries and recovery periods. Even with Zone Family super healing, at least two weeks goes by where a terror-beast is free to cause havoc and destruction.

Why you shouldn’t buy cheap gloves

That terror-beast is stupid Jikiro, now back in Super Jikiro form. Someone must have really loved that monster concept, as this is the second of three appearances of Jikiro, though technically he’s Super Jikiro (and thus a different monster according to the official stats.) Weirdly, when he pops up again, he’ll just be plain old Jikiro. That episodes opens its own can of worms about terror-beast identities that will be discussed when the time comes. What is important is we got a new version of Jikiro with a new red paint job and new magnetic powers that prove to be more than a match for Zone Fighter. At least until he has radical surgery. Super Jikiro destroys a huge boat in the beginning of the episode and is implied to be rampaging in Tokyo Harbor, possibly killing untold numbers and disrupting the Japanese economy.

Painting new colors on old toys seems to be the new trick of the Garoga Scientist, because there is also a debut of a Garoga Submarine, which looks exactly like a Garoga Fighter, except it has yellow trim instead of red trim. Big difference there! It doesn’t have immunity from being shot up by Zone Fighter’s flying underwater car, which is an oversight they should have saw the need for before the prototype was even assembled!

Don’t Zone and drive!

If you watch Zone Fighter just for the random appearances of toy store owner Takeru Jou, then this is a sad episode for you, because it’s the last appearance of the random character who took time away from characterization time for actual members of the Zone Family. We can only assume that he was murdered by the Garoga, and his head now tops Baron Garoga’s cane.

If you like shows with lots of surgery, people getting scalpels to the eye, and innocent people killed, then you’ll totally enjoy this episode! Don’t forget to drop by the Zone Fighter Splash Page for everything Zone Fighter.

Scene stolen by Pacific Rim!

InTelevision Reviews

Zone Fighter Episode 21 – Muteki! Gojira Ooabare

April 28, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Zone Fighter Episode 21 – Muteki! Gojira Ooabare

aka 無敵! ゴジラ大暴れ aka Invincible! Godzilla’s Violent Charge! aka Invincible! Godzilla Rages

1973
Written by Shinichi Kanzawa
Directed by Kohei Oguri

This is how we do!

Godzilla! Godzilla’s back! Hooray! Godzilla will save us from tedious Zone Fighter, at least he should, because he’s the whole freaking reason I’m watching this show! In fact, this episode isn’t that bad. It’s significantly creepy, featuring the Garoga doing some pretty horrible things. It also introduces a whole new perspective on the Garoga that presents a universe of trouble and possibilities.

We find out this episode Godzilla lives in a cave. Not just any cave, it’s a cave with an automatic split-open door, and it’s in the middle of an abandoned rocky terrained area just minutes from downtown Tokyo. Geographic craziness aside, the main question is, who built Godzilla’s home? Because I doubt it was Godzilla stomping around with carpenter’s tools. Maybe Godzilla got all his sons together and had them construct a house. But then we don’t see those sons, so maybe not. Godzilla is a minimalist, because it’s not decorated, and Godzilla just sits in the center of the cavern. Probably meditating, maybe composing music in his head, or reviewing and analyzing past battle victories in his mind. You know, kaiju thoughts. Godzilla keeps in practice by sparring with Zone Fighter, probably because he misses his friend, Jet Jaguar. Come visit, Jet!

Can’t a Godzilla watch the National Cheerleading Championships in peace without Zone Fighter begging for help?

This episode rules for several reasons. One is that Godzilla is in it. Another is that the Garoga totally gun down a whole lot of people in this episode. They kidnap Akira, and the hostage trade with the Zone Family actually feels dangerous. This is the episode where the Garoga most feel like an actual threat and not a bunch of goofy idiots in masks and costumes. There are only a few random points in other episodes where the Garoga are threatening, here they are mean for almost the entire run. It ads to the enjoyment of the series immensely to see the villains being so destructively evil. Something they should have done more of.

The monster in this episode is Jellar, who is a space blob found on a distant planet. The monster is also Kastom-Jellar, who grows from a part of Jellar that’s ripped off by Godzilla. Yes, this means there are two monsters. Double your pleasure, double your fun. Jellar and Kastom-Jellar are different enough to tell apart despite their origin as from the same being. Neither of which have what it takes to defeat Godzilla and Zone Fighter working together, despite Zone Fighter’s best efforts to fail.

Guest director: Teruo Ishii

Jellar is brought to the Garoga at Earth by other Garoga. Specifically, it’s presented to Baron Garoga, who up until this point seemed to be the leader of all Garoga, by White Garoga, who appears to be equal in rank to him. This means that there is a whole hierarchy of a Garoga Empire beyond the group that is garrisoned at Earth. The Garoga are more than just a bunch of thugs in a space station, they are a galactic empire with far reaching grasp, and the defeat of the group at Earth would just lead to more showing up. The entire series is only a tiny drop in the bucket, whatever victories Zone Fighter achieves are minor, and at some point the Garoga might just declare not worth the budget sinkhole and blow it up. They’ve sent comets to crash into Earth before, they might already be mad at the costs of a fruitless invasion. Heck, the Garoga might have other planets with other heroes that are stopping their advances. The point is we don’t know, because their is so much mystery about what is happening. And the worst thing is the series ends before the Garoga are defeated, so whatever gains are done, the evil is still out there, until it’s eventually retconned when the series is rebooted at some point in the future. If that ever happens…

But enough about futures and things, it’s all about the here and now, and we must go watch Godzilla and Zone Fighter battle some alien space goo, Garoga kidnap Akira, innocent people get gunned down, and subtextual soccer fantasies. If you need a Zone Fighter refresher, check out the Zone Fighter Splash Page!

The monster is convinced Zone Fighter is a schoolgirl!

InTelevision Reviews

Zone Fighter Episode 20 – Gekitou! Faitaa-no Uta-ga Kikoeru

April 21, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Zone Fighter Episode 20 – Gekitou! Faitaa-no Uta-ga Kikoeru

aka 激闘! ファイターの歌が聞える aka Desperate Struggle! Can You Hear Fighter’s Song? aka Fierce Fight! Can You Hear Fighter’s Song?

1973
Written by Shiro Ishimori
Directed by Masao Minowa

I’m going to watch this loop all day!

Zone Fighter goes Creepytown with this sorted tale of child abduction, creepy child abductors, creepy children, and children in mortal danger thanks to creepy aliens. Takeru Jou gets kidnapped once again (this seems to be his full-time job on the show), and there are more little boys wearing Japanese short shorts thank you can shake a To Catch a Predator DVD at!

But besides that, Zone Fighter finally has the Garoga do something evil (aside from the random gunning innocent people down) that affects Zone Fighter, and almost makes him change his fighting strategy. Until he remembers being violent will solve the problem regardless.

Great, a stick-shift monster!

Goram is one of the cooler-looking Zone Fighter terror-beast monsters, and I say that just because I like monsters with two heads. But he gets a bum break as Zone Fighter continues his murder spree. Poor Goram.

If you need a refresher on who this ultra-violent Toho tokusatsu is and why we should care and why he’s in these March of Godzilla series, drop on by the Zone Fighter Splash Page! And never fear, Godzilla will actually be in the next episode. But first….

Bambi Meets Godzilla prequel?

AKira and his gang of short shorted little Japanese boys are running around town talking with toy store owners and having that good wholesome fun boys in short shorts have. They’re being followed by another kid in short shorts, who is soon harassed by a creepy old guy with gloves. We all know gloves = Garoga, and soon the creepy old guy is grabbing the kid and Takeru Jou bikes by just in time to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and get kidnapped AGAIN!!!

Seriously, Takeru Jou! Kidnapped again? WTF??

Please note that this Garoga is a Red Garoga that has red stripes on his antenna that make him look like he has candy cane antennas.

It’s getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes!

InTelevision Reviews

Zone Fighter Episode 19 – Meirei “K Suisei-de Chikyuu-wo Kowase”

April 20, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Zone Fighter Episode 19 – Meirei “K Suisei-de Chikyuu-wo Kowase”

aka 命令『Kスイ星で地球をこわせ』 aka Order: Crush the Earth With Comet K! aka Order: “Destroy the Earth with Comet K”

1973
Written by Yuji Amamiya
Directed by Ishiro Honda

Zone Fighter – an eye-popping good time!

People and webcrawler bots, we have a situation! Zone Fighter is not the mild-mannered defender of Earth we were led to believe. He is in fact a stone cold butcher murderer who surgically severs opponents body parts and then uses their corpse for his own devious means. I know it may come to a shock, that Zone Fighter, who kills almost every opponent he faces, is some sort of monster, but unfortunately the facts bear that conclusion out. Zone Fighter slices and dices poor Gundarguirus, then tosses his dismembered torso at an approaching comet. This unfortunate corpse desecration is a war crime, and Zone Fighter needs to be dragged in front of an international tribunal immediately for his crimes.

As in last time, this is an episode directed by the master Ishiro Honda, but this episode actually feels like an Ishiro Honda episode and not just kiddy fluff. But there is some goofy stuff still, and then things go insane for that violent stuff I mentioned. Basically, Ishiro Honda helped direct Zone into a period of murderous destruction. So, yay? I guess.

Christopher Nolan’s Interstellar!

Make sure to drop on by the Zone Fighter Splash Page if you need a refresher of who is who.

When last we left Zone Fighter, he was losing a fight to the very lame Gundarguirus. Zone Fighter is out of energy and collapses like a scrub. Gundarguirus then wanders off instead of killing him, perhaps obeying orders from the Red Garoga, perhaps just being a moron. Who knows? What is important is Gundarguirus did not kill Zone Fighter when he had the chance.

Ring toss games are always rigged. You got to play the game where you race horses by squirting water into clown mouths!

Akira and Hotaru take Hikaru to relax a pool side as they splash around in a hotel swimming pool. I guess that’s how you wind down when you’ve just been almost murdered in a monster fight. Hikaru isn’t about relaxing and needs to call his dad for help, while the audience wonders what the whole point of this brief pool section was, unless it was to get Hotaru in a black bikini again. Hopefully it wasn’t to get Akira back into swimming trunks.

Zone Dad and Takeru are concerned about the comet, and Hikaru races off, realizing he still has to go save the world and stuff. Akira and Hotaru take a ride in Smokey to search from the air for Gundarguirus.

We’re not wearing pants, over.

InTelevision Reviews

Zone Fighter Episode 18 – Shirei “Nihon Rettou Bakuhase-yo”

April 16, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Zone Fighter Episode 18 – Shirei “Nihon Rettou Bakuhase-yo”

aka 指令『日本列島爆破せよ』 aka Directive: Destroy the Japanese Laboratory! aka Command: “Destroy the Japanese Islands”

1973
Written by Yuji Amamiya
Directed by Ishiro Honda

If you order this toaster oven now, we’ll throw in a free pair of oven mitts! Call 1-800-GAROGA! Operators are standing by!

Zone Fighter punches his way into a new episode, which is among the most ridiculous episodes in Zone Fighter history. It’s also pretty dumb, and is somehow a two-parter. Which is a shame, because both parts are directed by Ishiro Honda! The problem is with the story, which is really only a bare thread of a story and padded with a lot of pointless scenes and not very good monster action.

Why is the monster action not very good? Because Zone Fighter and the Terror-Beast of the Week Gundarguiras play rock paper scissors! Who needs monster fights? The excuse is because Gundarguiras ate some explosive chemical, and if he’s thrown around too violently, it will explode. Which should be find, because it’s inside a giant monster to absorb most of the blast, but whatever. Zone Fighter knows the explosive is in the belly of the beast thanks to Gundarguiras’ transparent stomach. Zone has to use his intelligence to try to trick the dumb monster into leaving Earth. Problems: 1- Zone Fighter isn’t very smart, either. 2- Gundarguiras is so stupid that even dumb tricks won’t work. 3- When a trick does work, Gundarguiras just refuses to leave, so there is no point to this strategy. 4- This scene keeps going on and on, and will continue next episode.

Sometimes people wrap Twizzlers all around their body and leap in the air. We call these people “morons”!

Thanks to the trick, Zone Fighter finally has some more new random powers, but they prove as useless as Zone Fighter normally is. I’m eager to watch the next episode just to watch Zone brutally murder Gundarguiras, because there is no way that dumb monster is getting out of this alive. The only question is if he’ll get blown up via the PS73 explosive, or by Zone Fighter shooting him a lot.

But before the murder, we have to get through the horror. So let’s get started with . If you need a Zone Fighter refresher course, drop on by the Zone Fighter Splash Page.

Should have picked rock!

Scientists including Professor Tanzawa blow up some random areas of the countryside. This is a test of Tanzawa’s new explosive element PS73. The test is a success and a bunch of dudes in business suits (scientists, officials, random businessmen who hang out at explosives testing sites) are happy. Now the next step is to transport the PS73 to another lab, which they must do with care.

I’ll never pitch again! Looks like the Cubs will lose another season, thanks kid!

InTelevision Reviews

Zone Fighter Episode 17 – GO! Faitaa Kinkyuuhasshin

April 14, 2014ByTars Tarkas

Zone Fighter Episode 17 – GO! Faitaa Kinkyuuhasshin

aka GO! ファイター緊急発進 aka Go! Fighter Emergency Take off! aka Go! Fighter, Scramble

1973
Written by Satoshi Kurumi
Directed by Jun Fukuda

Dancing with the Stars under the stars

Today we have a very special episode of Zone Fighter, because the star of our show isn’t the Zone Family, but their crap. Yes, the focus is on Smokey the spaceship and Mighty Liner the flying car. I guess the Garoga forgot about the other Zone Family spaceship, the Pandora Capsule. But you know about it because you read the Zone Fighter Splash Page, where all that stuff is listed!

Garoga laugh because they’re in space in a Garoga Spaceship that is now sucking up the Zone Family spaceship Smokey into their own larger ship and flying away. That’s actually a cool power, but instead of dismantling Smokey or lacing it with lots of bombs that will explode whenever a Zone person gets in it, they just move the ship to somewhere else.

Each week a different monster barfs on Zone Fighter. Because Zone Fighter’s a freak!

Hotaru is awake at night looking out the window and Akira talks to her…

Wait a minute, Akira and Hotaru share the same room, and even have bunk beds????? WTF???? In a prior episode Akira was sleeping in the room where the phone was, which is near the living room. AKira is like a hot potato they move from room to room I guess. No one likes Akira.

Anyway, they both had the same dream about Smokey, which just goes to show how lame you are when you dream about your spaceship, in a world where you use your spaceship every day, making it not unique, so it’s like dreaming about your mom’s minivan.

The hell kind of ending was that, How I Met Your Mother?

They fly up to where Smokey is parked…and it’s gone! But an outline of Smokey remains, which is weird. At first I thought it was one of their other craft cloaked, but it doesn’t match either one, only Smokey. Maybe it is a decoy put in place to not trip alarms. It’s too hard to figure out without subtitles, I guess this will always be a mystery until someone comments below 8 years later after subtitled DVDs have been out for years like I’m some sort of idiot for not knowing.

Hotaru and Akira know the Garoga are behind it, and go home to activate the tracking beacon of Smokey and find where the Garoga hid it, which turns out to be near the Tanzawa woods.

Madballs’ dark reboot!

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