Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 206 – To The Stars

2001 Official Site
Directed by Rob Caves and Jennifer Cole

This episode is special because it is filled with clips from the older series Voyages of the USS Angeles. Thus, I have to make a whole new second Roll Call, for the second time this season. This season of Hidden Frontier hates me. The next time we have a Very Special Episode of Star Trek: Hidden Frontier, can it please be about someone fighting space anorexia or high school space bullies instead of just having an entire new cast? Or how about an episode where someone is an alcoholic, you could call it To The Bars!

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Counselor Myra Elbrey (Barbara Clifford) – Betazoid, used to teach at the Academy. Survivor of the Grey attack on the USS Rutledge. Has a dog named Mr. Scott. Occasionally blonde. Ensign Artim Ibanya (Beau Christian Williams) – Because YOU demanded it, the kid from Star Trek: Insurrection with the CGI mouse is now a grown up main character! Wait, who demanded this? Someone did. And now we got it. His character is not as terrible as you might imagine, which is a shock to me.

OMG FLASHBACK Roll Call!

Fleet Captain Cole (Jennifer Cole) – Commodore Cole once was just a lowly Fleet Captain who no one listened to. Thus, they promoted her! Lt. Jason Munoz (Jason Munoz) – Munoz is back despite not being really back and just being stock footage! Hooray! Counselor Katie Moss (Katie Moss) – Kate Moss? It took her until the 24th Century to defeat her anorexia. Manages to get kidnapped as well, making her the supermodel counselor version of Harry Kim. Artim (Beau Christian Williams) – I guess if I was part of the LA Star Trek fan club and had made these flicks for years, I would have seen Beau Christian Williams grow up before my eyes. Now I just see it on the internet. Lt Tenenbaum (Jake Tenenbaum) – I don’t know anything about him, so let’s just as some lyrics from O Tannenbaum: O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your branches green delight us. They’re green when summer days are bright;— They’re green when winter snow is white. O, Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your branches green delight us! Ensign James Darwin (Cliff Gardner) – Before he was Lt. Cmdr. James Darwin, he was Ensign James Darwin. Thus, here he is. Amazing, I know. Dr. Henglaar (John Whiting) – Medical Doctor, Tellarite, and an actual interesting character. Ignore the fact he is wearing a pig nose and Muppet gloves…again! Because it’s a flashback, you see. John Whiting ruled even then. He can cure his own swine flu.

If they make me set up a THIRD brand new Roll Call this season I’m gonna…

Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 205 – Encke

2001 Official Site
Directed by Risha Denney

We got a potential love interest, a random ship blowing up, Greys being jerks, and secret space pyramids. Just another day in the Briar Patch! The USS Excelsior is in the thick of it all, because otherwise this episode would be pretty boring with Captain Angry just reading a mission report of the people who actually discovered all this, then getting angry it wasn’t him and then he punches the wall and kills his fish and eats a lot of toasted ravioli and then throws up the toasted ravioli in Ensign Ro’s bed and tries to pretend it wasn’t him. Poor Ensign Ro… I’m hungry for toasted ravioli!

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Commander Elizabeth Shelby (Risha Denney) – Stop standing in Shelby’s way or I’ll kick your butt! Shelby’s back and being Shelby and stuff. Dr. Henglaar (John Whiting) – Medical Doctor, Tellarite, and an actual interesting character. He’s a changed man! John Whiting rules. The nose knows! Counselor Myra Elbrey (Barbara Clifford) – Betazoid, used to teach at the Academy. Survivor of the Grey attack on the USS Rutledge. Has a dog named Mr. Scott. Occasionally blonde. Lt. Cmd. Robin Lefler (Joanne Busch) – Chief Engineer, and still dating Wesley Crusher despite the fact he ran off after last season. You may remember Lefler when she was Ashley Judd on the actual The Next Generation show. Has a bunch of laws that she will recite until you pull out a gun and kill yourself. Lefler’s Law Number 244 is “Recite laws until everyone dies!” Ensign Ro Nevin (Arthur Bosserman) – Science officer and Ro Laren’s brother. His hair is now more frosted than tiger-endorsed flakes! Ensign Brad T. Rawling (Tristan Clark) – Ensign Ro’s best friend and lover of alien poontang. Communications officer. Makes bad jokes. Spends a lot of his time hanging out in his quarters with Ensign Ro and getting hammered. Ensign Jenna McFarland (Adrianne Lange) – Half-Trill, Half-Human, all Navigation. I still don’t know if she has a worm in her belly. Is always there if you need the ship steered. Has amusing stories that she never gets to finish due to the plots developing. Her uncle’s name is Rufus. Lt. Toby Witczak (Matt Kruer) – Still dead! Lt. Luko (Terence Schoshinski) – Who is this dude? – Luko is the replacement for Lt. John Martinez who is off doing…something…maybe they’ll explain it when he returns later in the series. Luko was on Voyager, so we know he’s used to being on ships run by morons. But he was also in the Maquis, so never trust him. As for a security officer, he gets shot and contributes to the death of a main character in his first appearance. Nowhere to go but up. Luko is a Bre’elian, which is funny because it rhymes with alien. Chief Teb (Angela Hahn) – Transporter Chief Chick in a few episodes, so we might as well introduce her and stuff. I don’t know if she goes on to bigger and better things or if she’s playing “Beam Me Up!” until she retires.

Guest Star Roll Call

Ensign Corey Aster (J.T. Tepnapa) – Corey Aster is from the USS Olympus and has come to specialize your mission. Or something. He’s that guy you never remember from college who suddenly shows up one day and wants to date you.

Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 204 – The Great Starship Robbery

2001 Official Site
Directed by Jennifer Cole

So this episode results in some cast changes, including someone getting blown away, and someone leaving while not saying goodbye. We also get a new guy, who we will make fun of because he is the new guy and that is how we haze here at TarsTarkas.NET.

A fan series where you can’t pay the actors and with a long production schedule will have to accommodate the leaving of actors, and that is a major problem with the first few seasons of Hidden Frontier. So this is them dealing with some of those problems. These make more sense than some real films.

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Commander Elizabeth Shelby (Risha Denney) – Stop standing in Shelby’s way or I’ll kick your butt! Shelby’s back and being Shelby and stuff. Lt. Cmd. Robin Lefler (Joanne Busch) – Chief Engineer, and still dating Wesley Crusher despite the fact he ran off after last season. You may remember Lefler when she was Ashley Judd on the actual The Next Generation show. Has a bunch of laws that she will recite until you pull out a gun and kill yourself. Lefler’s Law Number 244 is “Recite laws until everyone dies!” Ensign Ro Nevin (Arthur Bosserman) – Science officer and Ro Laren’s brother. His hair is now more frosted than tiger-endorsed flakes! Ensign Brad T. Rawling (Tristan Clark) – Ensign Ro’s best friend and lover of alien poontang. Communications officer. Makes bad jokes. Spends a lot of his time hanging out in his quarters with Ensign Ro and getting hammered. Ensign Jenna McFarland (Adrianne Lange) – Half-Trill, Half-Human, all Navigation. I still don’t know if she has a worm in her belly. Is always there if you need the ship steered. Has amusing stories that she never gets to finish due to the plots developing. Her uncle’s name is Rufus. Lt. Toby Witczak (Matt Kruer) – Assistant chief engineer, was on the USS Devonshire during the Grey attack. Still putting it on a pedestal. Witczak enjoys reading The Hobbit and getting shot down for dates by his boss. And getting shot in the chest. Whoops! Lt. Luko (Terence Schoshinski) – Who is this dude? – Luko is the replacement for Lt. John Martinez who is off doing…something…maybe they’ll explain it when he returns later in the series. Luko was on Voyager, so we know he’s used to being on ships run by morons. But he was also in the Maquis, so never trust him. As for a security officer, he gets shot and contributes to the death of a main character in his first appearance. Nowhere to go but up. Luko is a Bre’elian, which is funny because it rhymes with alien. Chief Teb (Angela Hahn) – Transporter Chief Chick in a few episodes, so we might as well introduce her and stuff. I don’t know if she goes on to bigger and better things or if she’s playing “Beam Me Up!” until she retires.

Guest Star Roll Call

Sha’kev (Dan Crout) – Another fabulous Andorian who is overacting and chewing the scenery into little bits o’ chewed green carpet. And he’s AWESOME! We need completely loopy bad guys out of the blue (Andorian blue pun intended!) Just imagine how angry Captain Angry would be if he had to listen to this guy talk! Totally kills Toby, because he can. Vorina (Suzy Kaplan) – Sha’kev’s equally crazy accomplice/girlfriend/green woman. It’s not easy being green, especially when your kids will turn out aquamarine! That’s just the kind of thing to drive a girl into the life of the criminal. She even kills her own men when she wants to. Sadly, she doesn’t kill Luko.

Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 203 – Old Wound

2001 Official Site
Directed by Risha Denney

Captain Angry must face the fact that he is angry in this Very Special Episode of Star Trek: Hidden Frontier!

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Commander Elizabeth Shelby (Risha Denney) – Stop standing in Shelby’s way or I’ll kick your butt! Shelby’s back and being Shelby and stuff. This time, she’s prosecuting Captain Angry. That will learn him to stand in her way! Counselor Myra Elbrey (Barbara Clifford) – Betazoid, used to teach at the Academy. Survivor of the Grey attack on the USS Rutledge. Has a dog named Mr. Scott. Occasionally blonde. Lt. Cmd. Robin Lefler (Joanne Busch) – Chief Engineer, and still dating Wesley Crusher despite the fact he ran off after last season. You may remember Lefler when she was Ashley Judd on the actual The Next Generation show. Has a bunch of laws that she will recite until you pull out a gun and kill yourself. Lefler’s Law Number 244 is “Recite laws until everyone dies!” Ensign Jenna McFarland (Adrianne Lange) – Half-Trill, Half-Human, all Navigation. I still don’t know if she has a worm in her belly. Is always there if you need the ship steered. Has amusing stories that she never gets to finish due to the plots developing. Her uncle’s name is Rufus. Lt. John Martinez (Anthony Diaz) – Chief of Security who looks like a Chief of Security. Thus he is the Chief of Security. I know he does so on the USS Excelsior, but I don’t know if he does so on Deep Space 12 as well. Will eventually wander off in the middle of the season. Admiral Nechayev (Renee Huberstock) – The best admiral ever is now a semi-main character, appearing in pretty much every episode and yelling at everyone. Renee Huberstock was a day player in several episodes in Season 1, now she has a permanent role, so they’ll need another person to play random background women. Will Captain Angry and Admiral Angry yell at each other? Heck yeah! Lt. Toby Witczak (Matt Kruer) – Assistant chief engineer, was on the USS Devonshire during the Grey attack. Still putting it on a pedestal. Witczak enjoys reading The Hobbit and getting shot down for dates by his boss. And getting shot in the chest. Whoops!

Guest Star Roll Call

Commodore Cole (Jennifer Cole) – Commodore Cole is still hanging around, because Jennifer Cole is still around. Thus, she’s on the show from time to time, this time being a judge. Commander Cole pronounces you guilty. Andorian Admiral (Phillip Brickey) – This Andorian Admiral totally rocks the antennas! He presides over Captain Angry’s trial, because we need Andorian admirals to preside over angry dudes. Of course, now we got like a whole bunch of Admirals and Commodores in this section of space, which probably makes it very annoying if you are a renegade Starfleet Captain. Dominion Founder (Larry La Verne) – Odo’s brother here is another nameless Founder who is all gooey and stuff. He’s working with the Federation to help fight the Grey, except for fact he was secretly negotiating with the Grey to try to take over the Federation! And he get blown away by Captain Angry…or does he? You’ll have to read the synopsis or download the episode to find out!

Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 202 – Yesterday’s Excelsior

2001 Official Site
Directed by Jennifer Cole

So we all love alternate timelines, and we all love Yesterday’s Enterprise, one of the best episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation ever. So Hidden Frontier took that and now we got their own version, complete with their spin on it. A lot of effort went into this episode, changing things while still having them somewhat the same. My only major complaint is I think they did it too early in the life of the show, and it would have had more of an impact in like Season 5 or something. The minor quibble is that the episode follows Yesterday’s Enterprise almost to the letter. But besides that, it is pretty fun and you get to see characters get blown away, so that is always fun. Bring on my alternate timelines!

Part 1 of this episode is only a .pdf file because it used imaged from actual Paramount shows. So here is a synopsis: During Star Trek 6, the NCC-2000 USS Excelsior is trapped in time as Kronos explodes. Thus Kirk is killed by Chang, the president is assassinated, and the Federation goes to war with the Klingons, and wins. Then the Feds don’t have allies they need to defeat the Borg, who swoop in when they did in our time, except they win and the Enterprise is destroyed. I guess because Worf wasn’t there to be useless? Just go with it. Now, the USS Excelsior from this series leads a group of other ships as they flee the Borg and imitate Battlestar Galactica years before the reboot happened! Battlestar Excelsior!

Oh, new opening credits also!

Captain John Edward Knapp (David W. Dial) – Angry’s dead twin brother! In this universe, he is the non-dead one. Instead of being Captain Angry, he is Captain Drunk and Corrupted With Power. Wow, who knew Ian Quincy Knapp was the more level-headed of the Knapp twins? We can’t call him Captain Happy, how about Captain Knappy? Captain James Darwin (Cliff Gardner) – is the first officer in this alternate universe instead of a guy who just shows up in Season Two. That’s evolution for you! Not really, that’s more like Intelligent Design…SHOCKING! Admiral Nechayev (Renee Huberstock) – Commands what is left of the free people of the Alpha and Beta Quadrants. Except the So’na, who have their own planet still. She is just as angry in this universe and the real one, though she at least doesn’t resort to the bottle. Ensign Jenna McFarland (Adrianne Lange) – Half-Trill, Half-Human, all Navigation. This alternate reality caused her to wear different clothes! That bastard alternate reality! And she is going to be an Ambassador, at least she was until she probably died. Ensign Brad T. Rawling (Tristan Clark) – Ensign Rawling has frosted hair in this alternate timeline as well! The more things change… Rawling doesn’t do much but die. Dammit, Rawling, winners don’t die, they multiply. Lt. John Martinez (Anthony Diaz) – Chief of Security who is still Chief of Security in the alternate reality. Has more loyalty to Captain Darwin than Captain Knapp. That’s what you get, non-angry Knapp. Chief Melik (Larry Laverne) – Bajoran chief engineer who is a genius AND the best actor on the show. Of course he is a guy we have never seen before, and he goes on a ride back in time. Remember when suddenly there was a Bajoran guy in Star Trek 6? Ensign Ro Nevin (Arthur Bosserman) – Science officer and Ro Laren’s brother. He is in the command division despite hanging around in engineering most of the time, and conspiring against his Captain.

Guest Star Roll Call

Captain Sulu (Randall Mark) – Captain Sulu has arrive to Sulu the heck out of the future! Hikaru Sulu shows up a lot in fan films, George Takei even appeared as Old Sulu in a Star Trek: New Voyages episode. This Sulu is all enthused to go home and save the future. Borg Drones (Barbara Clifford and Anthony Diaz) – We are Borg. You will be assimila—* Urk!

Star Trek: Hidden Frontier – 201 – Refugees

2001 Official Site
Directed by Rob Caves

It’s Season 2! So don’t be blue. Because this ain’t Avatar. Welcome to season 2. This is the season where Hidden Frontier irons out a few of the kinks, cut down on the ginormous cast, and start streamlining the show into a better product. Just remember the differences of who you were freshman year of college vs. your sophomore year.

So after the review of Season 1, we are all set to go. But there are a few mysteries that happen between the transitions between seasons. First is the Mystery of Commander Joseph Johns, who vanishes. Was he killed by the Grey? Trapped on the Titanic? Locked in a stairwell by his aunt and uncle until he gets a letter from Hogwarts? Who knows!! Okay, I peeked at the Hidden Frontier Wiki and he pops back up a few seasons down the line, but that spoils all my jokes so we’re going to ignore that until he pops up again. There is also mystery of Ensign Amanda Hanley, who is no longer in the opening credits despite never appearing on the show. The Grey strike again! Several other cast members depart during Season 2 as well, and new people join.

We are going to proceed as if you are familiar with the show, as you should be by now. You should all be getting my Dr. Henglaar in-jokes. And if you are expecting video clips, forget it! I had a lot of trouble converting the .mov files into a format I could edit clips out of, because everything I tried either had corrupt frames or dropped audio. Just watch the whole freakin’ episodes, they’re pretty short and it is a better way to spend your time than looking up camel porn on the internet. Mmmm…shaved dromedaries…

Episodes of Hidden Frontier are available online at HiddenFrontier.com. You can also see their other series and participate in their forums.

A new season means we have a new opening credits sequence! Huzzah!

Captain Ian Quincy Knapp (David W. Dial) – Still Angry! His brother was killed by the Dominion, and left Captain Knapp angry! Had a mysterious encounter during the Dominion War (The Dominion who killed his brother) with mystery aliens that made him angry, and now that he commands Deep Space 12 and the USS Excelsior he can take out his anger over his brother’s death with flaming kill-lasers. Did I mention his brother was killed? Commander Elizabeth Shelby (Risha Denney) – Stop standing in Shelby’s way or I’ll kick your butt! Shelby’s back and being Shelby and stuff. Dr. Henglaar (John Whiting) – Medical Doctor, Tellarite, and an actual interesting character. Ignore the fact he is wearing a pig nose and Muppet gloves…for now! John Whiting rules. He’s really high on the hog. Counselor Myra Elbrey (Barbara Clifford) – Betazoid, used to teach at the Academy. Survivor of the Grey attack on the USS Rutledge. Has a dog named Mr. Scott. Occasionally blonde. Ensign Brad T. Rawling (Tristan Clark) – Ensign Ro’s best friend and lover of alien poontang. Communications officer. Makes bad jokes. Spends a lot of his time hanging out in his quarters with Ensign Ro and getting hammered. Ensign Jenna McFarland (Adrianne Lange) – Half-Trill, Half-Human, all Navigation. I still don’t know if she has a worm in her belly. Is always there if you need the ship steered. Has amusing stories that she never gets to finish due to the plots developing. Her uncle’s name is Rufus. Lt. John Martinez (Anthony Diaz) – Chief of Security who looks like a Chief of Security. Thus he is the Chief of Security. I know he does so on the USS Excelsior, but I don’t know if he does so on Deep Space 12 as well. Will eventually wander off in the middle of the season. Ensign Andrew Barrett (Tyler Bosserman) – Communications officer and brand new member of the third grade! Wooo!! A whole season later and he still has no character development. Ensign Artim Ibanya (Beau Christian Williams) – Because YOU demanded it, the kid from Star Trek: Insurrection with the CGI mouse is now a grown up main character! Wait, who demanded this? Someone did. And now we got it. His character is not as terrible as you might imagine, which is a shock to me. Lt. Cmd. James Darwin (Cliff Gardner) – Darwin replaces Joseph Johns in doing whatever the hell it was Joseph Johns did. He’s sort of like an extra first officer for Captain Angry. Darwin was on the old USS Angeles show, so he is another holdover. Admiral Nechayev (Renee Huberstock) – The best admiral ever is now a semi-main character, appearing in pretty much every episode and yelling at everyone. Renee Huberstock was a day player in several episodes in Season 1, now she has a permanent role, so they’ll need another person to play random background women. Will Captain Angry and Admiral Angry yell at each other? Heck yeah!

Guest Star Roll Call

Princess Illiana (Katie Moss) – Princess Illiana flees her homeworld which is under attack by the Grey, like they are every day for a million years or something. Then they want the Federation to send thousands of ships to defend their big ear culture in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, that will work! Illiana is a Tren’La, which is like a Cobra’La, except not at all. But she does have big ears, so big Spock gets all jealous. But Spock would never admit it, because he’s a Vulcan. Aris (John Reynolds) – Illiana’s son who becomes friends with Artim and they pal around and become tactical geniuses who save the day. He’s got extra brains in those big ears. Or extra ear wax. That he uses to throw at people. The Ferengi regularly mock his tiny ears. The Grey (Jason Munoz) – Evil Psychic Space Smurf Jawas. Etherials are the master race, and Jawas are used as foot soldiers. They have a Hive Mind. Remember, Hive Mind=Scary Villain. It’s true, just read any science fiction book ever written.